A Toast to Pandora
by TheRealMcCoy
Summary: Complete! After a fateful night, Josh and Donna are forced to face their past, present and future. At the same time, both are consigned down a path of serious self-reflection, all aiming to finally decide what it is they want and whether the time is right
1. Prologue

A Toast to Pandora

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Author: TheRealMcCoy/Kimmie (Smiles4303@aol.com)

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Rating: R

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Distribution: Sure. Just tell me where.

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Timeline: Mainly Season 5 (I played with the reality. Josh and Amy are together again and Angela Blake miraculously disappeared. Also, Sam is a new member of Congress.)

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Summary: After a fateful night, Josh and Donna are forced to face their past, present and future. At the same time, both are consigned down a path of serious self-reflection, all aiming to finally decide what it is they want and whether the time is right. Never assume too much.

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Disclaimer: The characters herein are the property of Aaron Sorkin. They are being used for entertainment purposes only and not for the sake of profit. No copyright infringement is intended. (But if you do want to send me money, feel free. Contact me at my email address, and we'll finalize the arrangements). Also, any quotes that I steal from any cultural setting are not meant to be used for any gain, but merely my admiration.

A/N: First of all, let me say hi to everyone. *wave* I wanna thank anyone who even reads this far down. I have to warn that this is my first time writing a fanfiction solo, so please bear with me. I've always wanted to write an Authors Note.

As cheesy as it sounds, I have a few people to thank. My biggest one goes to Holly. She's been my best friend, my editor, my pimp and taxi service. (She is a really big Buffy writer, so if you look for her, she is Holly4 and listed on my favorite authors page. She's one of the best authors I have ever read, even though you think I'm biased. Check her out. Especially if you like Spike.)

Sorry. I tend to ramble. I apologize and feel free to skip all this.

I want to warn that this story is very Josh and Donna centric. I love the whole cast, but I chose to focus on the two of them. I admit, as the story goes on, Sam also becomes a very important part. This is a drama/romance, but let me assure you that this prologue is anything but. As you read, I warn that this is **_not_** extent of my writing potential. With all this rambling said, I do hope you enjoy. 

Prologue 

Donna released a strangled sigh as she turned the knob to her apartment and walked across the threshold. The day behind her had been excruciatingly difficult and another was in store tomorrow. She slammed the door shut in symbolism of all the anxieties-work especially-that were on the other side. Then, with her last thrust of energy, she tossed her keys toward the coffee table. They hit the floor about two feet off their intended mark.

"Why am I not surprised?" she muttered to herself as she walked over to the sofa. With a grunt, Donna plopped down on the couch and reached for her feet. She was exhausted and knew the reason. Josh had been having an increasing number of meetings since they were gearing up for another Capitol Hill showdown and this meant that her hours were becoming more and more abnormal. 

__

Midnight is when young single females come home from the club. Why is it when I come home from work? 

Her current thoughts sidetracked her from the objective. The war to save her swollen feet went half won as she tossed a heel to the floor. She decided that a rest was needed before she battled the other and laid her head down on the arm of the sofa. "This is nice," she murmured to herself.

Donna was thankful that her roommate had informed her that she would not be home tonight. It felt more comfortable taking a few minutes to gather her bearings before heading off to bed. She released a more relaxed sigh as she fumbled toward the realm of unconsciousness. 

It took several minutes for her to realize that the noise she was hearing was that of knuckles on wood. It took another minute to deduct that there was only one possible piece of wood that could be knocked on in her apartment, and it took a final minute before she realized that she would have to answer the door for the knocking to stop. With that, she stumbled sleepily to the front door and opened it without hesitation. 

"Hi."

"Josh?" She felt the last throes of dreamland being swept away as she focused her eyes on the man standing before her. 

"I was in the neighborhood." The excuse was lame, but she hadn't a reason why she wouldn't believe it.

"Come in." As he walked past her, she finally looked him over. She could have sworn that the fundraiser was last week, but there he was in his tux once again. He had his jacket in hand and was now standing in her living room with a striking resemblance to Fred Astaire. How she loved a man in suspenders. 

She was pulled back to the situation at hand when she noticed that he was staring at her. "I know that this probably looks a little strange." He gestured at himself as he spoke.

"Yeah, but I understand that Bartlet likes white tie." She paused and studied him once more. "I think I prefer it too."

He blinked once before he caught her thought. "No. I meant me standing in your front room."

"That too." She rubbed her head. She still felt tired. "Well…why are you here?"

"I have something that I've been meaning to tell you, Donna. I thought that I could put it off like I have been doing for years, but tonight I realized that I _couldn't_. I _wouldn't_ any longer."

This was bizarre. She had to ask. "Have you been drinking? Because I don't know exactly where the cats are, but I can find them if you want to yell at something. I just want to get some sleep."

"I won't keep you. I just want to say that I l-"

A knock at the door stopped his thought mid-sentence. She shrugged in apology as she went to the entrance. She was taken aback when Amy stood before her. "Can I help you?"

"Is Josh here?" 

Donna nodded as she let the other woman inside. For an awkward moment the three stood looking at one another before Amy declared, "I'm thirsty. Anyone want a drink?" 

"Sure," Josh replied. Even though his girlfriend had shown up, he was ready to make his declaration. "Why don't you get us something _in the kitchen_?"

Donna didn't know what possessed her, but she stated, "Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this kitchen is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth." 

"Where?" Josh asked in confusion.

"There," Donna said pointing to the door where a little white bunny hopped to the entryway.

"What, behind the rabbit?" Amy asked.

"It is the rabbit!" A knock on the door interrupted her. She went to the door and opened it.

"You silly sod," J. Edgar Hoover said in her face as before he turned and walked away. 

"What?" Donna called to the door in utter confusion. _Wasn't he dead?_

"You got us all worked up," Amy pouted.

Donna shook her head and shut the door as she turned back to the people standing in her front room. "Well," she calmly retorted, "That's no ordinary rabbit."

"Oh," Josh and Amy replied in unison.

"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."

Josh was stammering now. "You tit. I soiled my armor…tux, I was so scared."

Donna pointed at the fluffy creature. "Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!"

"Get stuffed," Amy snapped.

"He'll do you up a treat, mate," Donna warned.

"Oh yeah?"

"You mangy scots git!" Josh barked. 

It seemed so natural that he would say those words, so she continued. "I'm warning you!"

"What's he going to do, nibble your bum?" Josh was laughing now.

Donna didn't find it funny at all. "He's got huge, sharp…eh…he can leap about… look at the bones!"

Josh doubted this highly, but he wanted Amy to go. "Go on, Amy. Chop his head off." He paused and added. "And get me a beer if she has any."

"Right," Amy beamed. "Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!"

The next few seconds, Josh and Donna stared on blankly as the rabbit leaped out and latched onto Amy's throat, savaging her to death.

"I've done it again!" Josh squeaked.

"I warned you, but did you listen to me?" Now she had a messy kitchen and her roommate was going to be back in the morning. "Oh no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I tell them-"

"Oh shut up!" Josh snapped. He still had a declaration to make.

Donna pouted a second before muttering under her breath, "Do they listen to me?"

Josh sighed and ignored his dead girlfriend and the rabbit still nibbling on her carcass. "Donna, I wanna say my peace. Then, I'll be on my way."

"Fine." She was impatient now. She had a messy kitchen and she knew that the police might need to be called about the whole death thing. She folded her arms across her chest and began impatiently tapping her foot.

"Donna, I just need to tell you that I am in l--" There wasn't a door knock this time, but a ringing of her phone. 

Josh reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" A pause. "It's for you," He shrugged. 

Donna took the receiver and placed it to her ear, but the voice and conversation quickly became a blur. She couldn't believe her ears. "Thank you," She stated as she placed the phone back on the cradle after several minutes.

"What was it?" Whatever the news, Josh could tell that Donna was beyond shocked. He was quickly at her side.

"That…that was the police. It seems that…" She had to take a moment to compose herself.

"What is it my darling?" Josh said taking her by the arm in a melodramatic fashion.

"Screech Powers was just elected to Congress."

They stood there and looked into each other's eyes for a long moment before simultaneously doubling over in laughter. That went on for several minutes before they abruptly ceased as quickly as they began.

"What are you doing here?" Donna asked once again.

"I have a declaration," Josh proudly stated.

"Well hurry up," Donna softly whined. "I have a kitchen to clean and I wanna watch _Whose Line."_

"Ok." Josh blinked. "Donna." He looked around for any distractions. When he believed the coast was clear, he continued. "Donna, I l--"

She didn't know what inspired her to be so bold but in seconds she had cleared the distance between them and had pressed her lips to his. The kiss they shared was indescribable pleasure.

"Josh?" Donna shakily panted several minutes later as they pulled one another to arms length. 

"Yeah?" He looked upon her to see her blushing into his shoulder as she absently played with one of his suspenders.

"Take me, Josh," she lustfully stated, looking up to meet his longing gaze. "Take me."

"Donna?" He couldn't believe his ears. This was a dream come true.

"I want you," She panted. "I need you. Oh baby, oh baby." She couldn't believe the words were coming out of her mouth as she spoke them. As Josh swooped her up in his arms, she decided to shrug it off and go with it.

He carried her to her room, where he gently laid her on the bed. From there, he crawled between her legs and began lavishing her neck with his tongue. It took a moment, but soon Donna pushed him away from her lightly to have their eyes meet. "Josh? Didn't you have a declaration?"

He didn't care anymore. "It can wait," He simply stated before returning to her collarbone.

"Are you sure?" Donna said resisting his advance once more. "I mean, weren't you about to tell me that you l--"

"Donna." He was whining now. "Can I please just have sex with you now?" 

She nodded and felt his hand ever-so-gently slide up her skirt between her thighs. She let a moan escape her lips as his fingertips brushed over her underwear. But the moan was nothing compared the one that shook her body as he took his fingers and slid them……..

"Donna?" She heard the voice again. "Don-na." She opened her eyes to see her roommate standing over her.

"Huh?" Was all she could manage to say. This wasn't fair. 

"You better get going. It's 6:30. Don't you usually have meeting starting at eight or something?"  


She blinked a few times before turning her head toward the window. As sunlight poured through the pane, she realized that Hell was starting all over again. And she was expected to show up at the gates on time.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

As usual, Donna beat her boss to the White House. She walked around the bullpen while sipping her coffee in a leisurely fashion. Most days she was ready to crack the whip when she walked through the security check, but today she was feeling tired and lazy. She'd wait till…Fred Astaire showed up.   
  
_Oh my God! Please get that crazy string of pictures out of my head. Work! _  
  
  
There he was. Josh sauntered in, cell to his ear. It was more than evident that someone had fired him up this morning and Donna had to guess that it was his girlfriend. Josh didn't like talking about it to her, but she knew that Amy Gardner spent more nights at Mr. Lyman's townhouse than he suggested.   
  
  
_Savaged to death by a rabbit? What the…You are never watching Monty Python ever again. Though…it was kinda cool how he didn't care and then he took me off to my-   
_  
  
"Donna!" Josh was already yelling just as they made eyesight of one another. She glanced at him expectantly, awaiting directive. "Can you get me the polling stats for the women's groups?"   
  
  
"You made her mad this morning, didn't you?" She berated playfully as she followed him into his office. She repeated her question as soon as he hung up his phone.  
  
  
"No." He looked genuinely offended. He wasn't good at acting. "Yes," he begrudging conceded a moment later. "It was nothing, but she likes to throw the vendettas of women around the world at me whenever--" He stopped and looked up at her.   
  
  
"What?" She didn't know why he had stopped, but she could tell that he hadn't miraculously forgot how to talk.   
  
  
"It's…" He never minded talking to her about things, but he admitted that he felt awkward talking about his women with her. Mainly the ones that he slept with. He didn't like hearing about the men she dated and figured that he would bestow the same courtesy. "Polling stats?"  
  
  
She had her arms folded across her chest now. Donna needed a real answer to send her on her way.

"I didn't compliment her haircut," He resigned with a groan. He shrugged and started pulling files out of his backpack. "I guess she got a trim yesterday and I never noticed. When she finally told me _that_ was why she was irritated, she added that it was because men never pay attention to the atrocities of women."

Donna couldn't help it and released a snicker. She tried to cover her mouth, but it came forth and he looked up at her with surprise. "You find it funny?"

"C'mon, Josh!" She laughed now. "A haircut? Of all the stupid things you did that might alienate the Women's Coalition yesterday, the haircut got you to the doghouse?" 

He had to grin as he noticed how amused it really made her. It _was_ ironic. But he knew he'd pay for everything else later when word got out. "Glad you're amused, but polling stats please."

She nodded and headed out the door only to turn and pop her head in once more. "Just imagine what would happen if she had got highlights."

"Out!" But he was chuckling as she closed the door.

*~*~*

It wasn't until about 10:00AM that Josh realized that Donna didn't look as chipper as she had when he first arrived. Everything had become more and more hectic-he had a trade meeting with Toby and things hadn't slowed before senior staff. It was when she handed him his briefing memos as he walked toward the Oval that he noticed that no more wisecracks were flowing from her plethora of material. "Is everything all alright?"

She paused a moment, taken aback before giving an absent nod. "Fine." She adjusted his tie before patting his shoulder. "You're going to be late again." .

"Yeah." He wasn't convinced. He knew that the work of the past few weeks had been getting him down a little, but he hadn't stopped to consider it from her standpoint. Donna was here before him most every morning and wouldn't leave until he had things wrapped up. He would steal away her lunch and sometimes her dinnertime as well. 

He decided that he was running late, and that interrogation would have to wait until staff was over, even if it was still on his mind.

"All right," Leo started as soon as a tardy Josh sauntered in. He didn't even bother wasting a glare. "Let's make this quick. Josh?"

"Do you think I work Donna too hard?" 

A harsh grunt escaped from Toby's vicinity, but it didn't slow Josh down.

"She seemed all distracted just a minute ago." He gestured to the door he just entered. "I just wondered if I maybe work her too hard." He looked around the room and realized that he was probably more concerned than the rest.

"What happened?" CJ took the bait. It was a slow day and she figured amusement awaited the tale.

"Well I didn't notice that Amy got a haircut--"

"How did Amy's haircut deduce you to the fact that you work poor Donna too much?" The President was in the game now. "Which you do, I should add. And yourself son." 

Leo couldn't take much more. He now cast a glare at Josh who had the sense to blush. "Look what you did!" He turned to Bartlet. "Mr. President," he sighed. "Can we please get down to business?" 

"Yes mother," He sardonically stated. "Let's talk shop." But Bartlet had to have the last word. "Was it a trim, Josh? The ladies always try and wrangle you with the trim." 

*~*~*

If it was humanly possibly, Donna looked even more unstable when Josh made it back to his desk nearly an hour later. She was on the phone, but motioned that he had messages on his desk.

He waited as patiently as an impatient Joshua Lyman could until she was off the phone before motioning her in his office. He gestured for her to close the door behind her as she walked in. "Talk to me," He said as soon as it closed.

She paused and took a collective breath. "Well, you have the thing with Toby in the Roosevelt Room at one. If you looked over your messages, I suggested that you should call the Minority Whip back first. He sounded a bit insistent and he would probably would have the latest count on the vote."

"Donna."

"OK." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Amy did call. I put her on your schedule for 4:45. She found out about the trade negotiations and wants to talk."

"Huh?" That wasn't what he was expecting. "Great," he muttered before deciding that he would cross that bridge later. When he found the kerosene and matches so he could burn it before Amy had the chance to run across and tackle him. "I meant you, though."

She gave him a look before simply stating, "Don't ask. Don't tell. Good strategy for the military and a good one for me today."

"You seem all…out of it." He searched for better phrasing but that was the best he came up with. Though he wasn't the most eloquent, his sincerity was prevalent. 

Donna had to smile at his concern. She didn't feel top of her game, but that was mostly due to the stress she was dealing with and the lack of sensible sleep. "I'm fine. Just don't show up at midnight on my doorstep dressed like Fred Astaire."

He blinked. "A dream?" She nodded. "That's OK. Last night, I think I dreamed that the Mets had to win the game against the Yankees or the end would come to campaign reform."

She stood there a minute before deciding that she wasn't going to try and top him. _Too easy._ "You better return those calls before lunch." She started to open the door.

"You never answered me." 

__

Persistent little wanker. "I dunno, Josh." She didn't know what he was looking for and walked over to the chair across from him and plopped down. She had a feeling it would take a minute and the one foot that never got rescued last night was in agony. "I could probably rant about a dozen different things going on in my life right now."

"Two."

She arched a brow. "Huh?"

"One professional and one personal." When it still didn't dawn on her, he continued. "I normally blow you off, but today I will listen to a personal and a professional rant free of tease."

A look of satisfaction filled his assistant's features. She bit her lip as a gleam crept back to her eyes. Where would she begin? "Personal first," was the declaration moments later.

The thought was put on hold moments later when Josh's phone rang. As she gave him a look that stated that he wasn't out of the woods, he smiled and she walked out. The slight irony was not lost on her that the night before, he had been the one interrupted when trying to say his peace, but here today, the tables had turned.

Lunch was over and his meeting with Toby before she was able to break into his free time. She followed him into his office as he began looking for another one of the endless files that were held within the confines of the White House. "I have to buy my sister a present." It wasn't the direst of her personal stresses, but one that had been nagging at her conscious the past couple of days. 

"Her birthday?" He was listening, but looking over memos at the same time as he sat down at his desk.

Donna shook her head though she knew he could not see. "Baby shower."

He absently nodded in what seemed a lack of interest before looking up at her inquisitively. He arched a brow. "You don't have more than one sister. Right?"

She pretended to ponder long and hard. "Well there was the one time when my mom and the milkman had a little…no." 

This made his face grow more comically curious. "Didn't she just have her wedding not six months ago?"

"Yup. What can I say? Us Moss girls are known throughout Wisconsin."

He sniggered. "For what? Giving it out before the wedding?" 

She tossed him a look to kill. "No. The fertility system of a Moss woman is very potent. My mother conceived her wedding night and that is the same with my sister. They postponed…consummation until they were officially legally bound."

"Really?" Josh was impressed. Traditionalism wasn't something you heard much of these days. Especially if you worked in the Democratic party. "Well, good for them. How far along?" 

"They're guessing about six months." She spoke like it should be more than obvious. "The shower is in a couple of weeks and I haven't had the opportunity to go pick something up. I want to get it done and shipped so that it gets to her before the shower. That way, if someone gets her the same thing, mine was first."

"Good thinking. So what's the problem?"

"Well, unless I pick her present up at the grocery store, which I haven't even been able to get to for a week, then I won't be able to send the baby anything but a White House coffee mug."

"Send a key chain." She gave him a weary glance. "It can serve as a teething ring." Her groan was enough of a response. He continued. "Fine. Why don't you take tomorrow afternoon off and go get something?"  


"Really?" There had to be a catch.

He seemed to think about it for a moment more before agreeing again with a nod. "Yeah. You can take off at lunch and just have the rest of the day. I was thinking that I don't give you any time, so this would kill two birds with one stone."

She was now looking at him as though he had grew a second head- one that was singing show tunes. "Did you do something?" When he simply blinked, she elaborated. "Did you do something that you feel guilty about? 'Cause I really don't think that you've been that much of a jackass this week, Josh. You can save your Get Out of Donna Jail for a later date."

He gave her the look that melted her defenses every time. She had a feeling that he knew it, though how she couldn't guess. He gave her a smile that revealed all his dimples while showing with his eyes that no arrogance was intended. He was trying to make her happy and in turn, pleased himself as well. She couldn't resist. "Who will watch you?" She sighed.

She had already cracked. He could tell and was tickled pink. "You know that I have a whole staff. Actually, I am the third highest ranking nonmilitary official in this building, so finding a replacement for a few hours shouldn't be out of the question."

"Fine." She gave him a thankful smile as she walked back out to the bullpen.

"Uhh…Donna?" Josh called when she had made it to her desk. She turned around to see him standing in his doorway. "Just leave your cell on, will ya?"

*~*~*

"How is it working for the enemy?" Josh teased his best friend. He was in a surprisingly good mood, considering Amy had pummeled his ass not half an hour ago. 

"Good. You wouldn't believe how I suddenly have this surge of desire to destroy the country and ruin every initiative that I worked four years to stabilize."

"That's all? I'm impressed."

"Well, that's besides this unquenched need to reach my hands into the pork barrel and rub the lard all over myself and the entire California 47th."

"Whoa, Sam. Getting a little more graphic than I wanted." 

"Oh? Then I won't say how I dream of wallowing around in it and covering my naked flesh with the evils of taxpayer exploitation."

"You have a lunch tomorrow?" Both men were laughing now.

"No. Business or social?" 

"Social. I haven't seen you hardly since you knocked the party's socks off. Ebbits at 12:30?"

"Deal. See ya, Josh." Sam was almost tentative to hang up the phone.

"Bye, buddy."

Josh looked at his watch. No more meetings today, but he knew that it was time to start gearing up for tomorrow.


	3. Chapter Two

A/N: Sorry about the long delay to all who have actually followed this. 

I've had this part done for a while but there is a "Jo Jo" section in here that I was little worried about after I initially wrote it. If anyone who reads this can actually think of a legitimate cultural/literary reason why that genius Aaron Sorkin put it in, please email me and let me know so I can edit it out.

Again as always, a big thank you goes out to Holly for being my editor and catching all my stupid grammatical errors.

Chapter Two

"This is nice," Sam sighed as he took a sip of his beer. He didn't know how long it had been since he had gone out to lunch with his best friend.  
  
"Yeah." Josh was distant. He couldn't help but wonder who was going to cover Donna's job for the rest of the day. The one day she was sick last year, everyone including the President himself made a pit stop by his office to help with file location. He didn't want to admit it, but he was dreading an afternoon without her.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Sam sensed the drift.  
  
"Huh?" Josh shook his head clear before turning to his friend once more.   
  
"Is there something that you would like to divulge?"  
  
"Oh, its nothing." Josh shrugged. "I gave Donna the afternoon off so she could buy her sister a baby shower gift."  
  
"Really?" He was impressed. "You are growing up, little man."  
  
"Shut up." The dark haired man was finding this more amusing than Josh would allow. "It's no big. I just felt like I was overworking her and she mentioned that she had the shopping to do."  
  
"But how will you get by without her?" Sam was speaking with an exaggerated tone, but both knew that the question was guarding sincerity.  
  
"I've gotten by before and I can get by again. I got by for over thirty-five years with out Donnatella Moss and I can get by for a measly afternoon without her. People forget that I'm a grown man. I've worked in Washington for years without a Donna checking my back. I was--"  
  
"I don't need your résumé, Josh." He was waving at him. "Hi. Remember me? Your old pal, Sam?"  
  
He sighed. His friend was right. There were three people he couldn't fool: the assistant in question, his mother, and Sam. "I told her to leave her cell phone on."  
  
Sam smiled, but nothing more. Then the subject changed. "So I heard that you and Amy were on again. How many times have the two of you broken up now?"

He knew that Seaborn was just trying to give him a hard time, but the barb hit the mark. His relationship with Amy could be considered dysfunctional at best. Josh had met her in college and the two enjoyed the comforts of always having an ear to go to with insightful political debate. After college, they really didn't get intimate until she started at the Women's Coalition. That first relationship lasted about as long as her job did. From there, romantic ties seem to depend on the weather in Washington-when things are going good for women's rights, Josh was allowed the right of a woman. 

Josh blinked. He had begun to drift again. "You asked about me and Amy?" The nod provided ample response. "Yeah. She has some free time now that she no longer works in the White House and I always prefer the women that I don't have to go out and find."

"Convenience? That's what _I_ always want in a girl. Don't care if they love me or if they are good for me, but they damn well better come by my house once a month so I can say we have a healthy relationship."

Both men looked at each other wide-eyed. "Did I just say that?" Sam whispered moments later. All the other man could do as nod. "I'm so…that was awful Josh. I apologize."

He did make a couple of points that Josh was too man enough to admit. He had to get a zinger in for good measure. If anything, just to call even. "Well, we obviously know that you don't look at their occupations or social standing before you allow them up to the house for their monthly visit."

Sam groaned. He was tired of explaining himself there. "I didn't know! And…I went to her place."

"Good to know. Does that make her rates go down? No need to pay for the hotel."

"Josh." He was nearly growling.

The curly haired man threw his hands up in silent surrender. "Sorry. Guess we're even."

A few moments of silence occurred while both men drank their beers while purposefully avoiding eye contact. Sam, of course, was the first to speak. "You do know that I didn't sleep with her again after I found out?"

Josh met his eyes and determined that all was forgiven. "Really?"

"Yes." He sounded offended. He then said with lest conviction, "But one time while I was helping her study Supreme Court cases of the 19th century it got pretty hot. She ended up--"  


"Whoa Buddy," Josh was laughing as he threw the hand up to halt any further discussion. 

Sam turned red as he realized that Josh probably didn't want to know. "Yeah… guess that was a little more than you wanted to know." 

"No." Josh pointed to his watch and standing up. "It's probably not something to gossip about in a nice restaurant downtown in the District."

"Yeah." Poor Sam was still crimson. He noticed that he had a meeting to get to in less than half an hour.

"Call me later," Josh said with a grin that said he was more than serious. "I wanna hear all about this."

No matter the age, boys will be boys.

*~*~*

Donna was miserable. She had headed to the first department store she could think of the second that Josh gave her the green light to go. From there, she had ventured to two more, but couldn't find the perfect gift that screamed 'Auntie Donna'. She decided that the best solution to her current problem was to take a break and get a bite to eat.

Of course, that was only a pipe-dream.

She forgot she was in a public place as she tossed her ringing purse down to the ground while standing in line at the deli. As she looked at the inquiring crowd around her, she smiled bashfully and recovered her belongings. "What?" She grumbled, sensing that he wasn't going anywhere.

"How's it going?" He lasted till three o'clock in the afternoon. They both were a bit impressed.

"Did lunch with Sam last that late?"

"I went a little over, but not really." He sensed the question that she wasn't going to voice. "I just waited until I have about five questions that demand your counsel."

"Oh." She sounded as miserable as she felt.

"No luck?" He expected her out buying shoes by now. He hadn't really done any shopping for baby showers, but he didn't assume it to be backbreaking.

"Do you really think I would sound like this if I had luck?"

"Point taken," he resigned. The next few minutes Josh simply listened to Donna's quiet frustration on the other end. He knew that there was more on her mind than a simple baby gift, but he hadn't the heart to ask. Finally though, he knew that he had to at least say something. "Donna?"

She had practically forgotten that a phone was to her ear. "Yeah? Oh…Hold on a sec." She pulled the phone away to muffle, "Frontega Chicken and a lemonade please." After completing the transaction she came back to him with a soft apology.

"Jo Jo, talk to me."

She had to smile. She hadn't caught on at first- she believed that it had to be around the time of the smoked Bullwinkle on Ebay incident- but she had questioned a day or two later.

__

"Jo Jo?" She said, stalking into his office. She knew that he was on the phone, but that really didn't stop her.

He didn't catch on at first. "On the phone, here." He was pointing to the receiver for further emphasis.

"On hold," She said mimicking his annoyed voice. "Jo Jo?" She asked again.

He blinked a second before remembering. Then he grinned and shrugged.

"That's all I get? No explanation?"

He opened his mouth as though he was about to come up with a quirky little retort, but then he closed it and shrugged. "It just seemed to…fit. If you weren't a Donna, I would name you Jo Jo."

Donna folded her arms across her chest. "This is after you come after me? I think my nicknames have much better merit. Deputy Downer. Bambi-Ass. Ahab." She paused to gauge his face. "I think that this means you learned a very important lesson."

He was now rolling his eyes. "Never to call you an endearment again?"

"No." She felt like a schoolmarm now. "Don't tease someone unless you have been in their shoes and succeeded. Unfortunately for you, you were in my shoes and you failed."

Just then the other party came back onto his line. She took the hint the moment he flashed his eyes at her. She nodded, but before she was out of the office, he whispered ever so softly, "Can you get me in with Leo, Jo Jo?"

She came back to reality just in time to hear them call that her order was ready. "Josh? Don't you have work to do?"

"My schedule is cleared for the next fifteen. All I need to do is look over these briefing memos. Get your food and talk to me."

She sighed, but realized that she needed a friendly ear more than she had previously considered. After she sat down once more, She began. "Trust me when I say, that elaborating on my problems would take longer that any time either one of us have today."

"Well…I at least said yesterday that I would hear a professional problem. Wanna rant about me a little?" He was trying to do his best to cheer her up.

"Actually, if I had a professional complaint, it would be that I feel that I have reached the highest point in my career as…well anything."

"Huh?" He wasn't expecting any of that.

"Well…I'm Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff. After these next four years, what am I going to do with my life? I can barely pay rent this month as it is. How am I going to go to college to become something purposeful when I don't have such a sound job?"

That was the curve ball that he just saw fly by his head as he looked on with utter shock and surprise. It took him a second to regroup, but the first words he stated were, "You know you can always work for me."

"And do what? Banter about getting you coffee?" Not the reaction he was going for. Honestly, Josh, we both know that I-" She stopped herself, taking a moment to gather her bearings. She had already made a fool out of herself at this deli today and crying wasn't going to add further.

"Donna?" He was really starting to worry about her. "D-Do you need me to come over there?"

"No! I don't need you to be my knight in shining armor, Josh!" Her mood swings caused even her own eyes to go wide. She took her voice to the other extreme now as she whispered into the phone. "Dear God, Josh. I'm so sorry."

"Which deli are you at?" She heard him scrambling around his office for what she presumed was car keys and cell phone.

She sighed and couldn't help but smile at him. The one thing that she could always count on was Joshua Lyman's need to always fix things. "It's OK. Too much stress and too little time."

"Really?" He was sounding anything but convinced.

"Yeah." She was giggling now. She was beginning to consider institutionalizing. She had no idea what thoughts were crossing his mind.

"Donna?"

"I'm just laughing at what thoughts must be crossing your mind about me."

"Well, let's just say that sedatives are playing a part."

"I'm just stressing out over nothing." Talking ones problems out loud is sometimes the best way to go. Unfortunately, Josh was being subjected Donna's therapy session as well. "I'll find something adorable and I'll buy it. I won't worry about size and I'll pay whatever shipping costs I have to. I'll suck it up and take out a loan if I need to in order to make rent at the end of the month. I will talk to people and find a new roommate and I'll worry about a new job in four years."

There was a long moment of silence before Josh's voice was on the lie once more. "Did that help any?" 

She thought a second before declaring**:** "I believe it did." she looked at her watch. "Josh! You were supposed to be in the Oval over fifteen minutes ago!"

"Shit!" She heard him scrambling for different reasons now. "Just…" He had forgotten all about the five problems he was having before. "Just…" He sighed. "Have a good day and call me later if you want to have phone therapy."

"Bye." She had to hurry him off the phone so she would have time to talk call his temp before buying the best Auntie Donna present she couldn't afford.

*~*~*

"Here's the list," were the first words Donna heard when she walked through the door of her apartment that night. Her roommate then proceeded to hand her a piece of paper with half a dozen women's names and phone numbers on it. "Sorry I couldn't find any more than that."  
  
Donna offered a small smile. She had to admit that her roommate was being more considerate than the one she had in college. Donna had the unpleasant experience of coming home one night to find that she was living on her own. Her current one gave her two weeks notice and a handful of other women who might want to live a little closer to the home of the Commander and Chief.   
  
This was not to say that Donna considered her apartment anything special. There had been no murders in her building for a couple years and there wasn't too many drug busts, but it was nothing compared to her other friends-otherwise called her colleagues.  
  
"Are these people…" Donna didn't want to bash any of her roommate's friends, but there had been a few parties that wouldn't be leaving memory anytime soon.  
  
"Only one was at that party that the cops almost busted. She left early too."  
  
Good. That made things a little better. She wished that she had her own names to consider, but everyone she new already had ample living conditions. She also wished that her roommate would stay, but she'd decided to take the plunge and move in with her long-time boyfriend.  
  
Her roommate was now eyeing her bags. "So, whatcha end up getting?"  
  
Donna had to smile. She had gone all out. It didn't necessarily look like much, but her budget felt the blow. "I bought the niftiest set of crib sheets." She held up little sheets with little lambs all over them. "I thought that lambs weren't gender specific. And I also bought a big fluffy lamb." She took it out of a bad and gave it a little hug before setting it aside. She pulled the final item out of the bad. Going along with the theme, she pulled out a mobile that had little lambs, stars, and moons dangling down. "Check this out." She turned a switch where it began playing a version of Brahms Lullaby.  
  
"That's adorable. But what about the shipping?" The mobile looked like it might be hard to pack.  
  
Donna shrugged. "I made sacrifices." she looked at the list again. "Well, I better get started on this. And again, thanks."  
  


*~*~*

  
  
Josh wouldn't know until later how happy he was to see the light of dawn. Amy was staying the night, but pleasantness would not be found. Over the past few days, he had been considering if he really wanted a relationship that was for nothing more than political gain. He had always felt more than fine to have title of power dater, but he wasn't feeling all too powerful at the moment. In fact, he was beginning to feel like life was spinning out of control.  
  
Joshua Lyman was too unconcerned to care tonight. The worst that would happen is that he and Amy would breakup-again. He had to admit that there wasn't much surprised and was beginning to see that neither one of them really had the proper time to carry on a relationship. He hated when power dating became unprofitable.   
  
They had eaten most of dinner before the she started in.  
  
"You know that there are going to be human rights issues up the President's ass if he doesn't work on the sanctions agreements, right?"  
  
Josh had already dealt with a long day. If Donna hadn't called back the temp, he probably would have killed himself by five. "First, let's not talk about what's up the President's ass. That just isn't right on any grounds at the dinner table. Second, yes. Toby and I knew the implications."  
  
She was rolling her eyes now. "Josh. I mean it. Not me, not women and certainly not the First Lady is going to take to you pushing it over."  
  
"_Pushing it over_?" He slammed his fork down on the table. "What the _hell_?!?" He tried to stop himself from yelling, but he was just too exhausted to force that much discipline on himself. "We've spent the last three days '_pushing it over_'! We'll probably have to spend the next three days '_pushing it over'_. In our 'pushing', we've guaranteed stricter child labor laws. We've worked on tougher guidelines for child abuse."  
  
"What about the women, Josh?" Now she was yelling. If for nothing, to be heard over his tantrum.  
  
"Dammit! Sorry if it couldn't be perfect, Amy. Let me go back tomorrow and say, 'By the way, United Nations, my girlfriend insists that we toughen the women's protection clause. I know I've been going on for three days, but I hope her input changes your opinion.'"   
  
"Go to Hell."  
  
"Already here," he snapped as he threw his napkin down and got up from the table. He decided that he couldn't spend another minute arguing. He grabbed his coat and keys and headed toward the door.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't care. I figure that I'll have to hear you bitch about this later so why go through it twice." Probably not the right thing to say to your girlfriend, but he wasn't in the mood for pleasantries at the moment.  
  
"Goodnight, Josh," Amy spoke in annoyance as her boyfriend slammed the door shut.

He had no idea what he was going to do now.  
  
He got in his car and started to drive. He would find something even if it was nothing at all.


	4. Chapter Three

A/N: Sorry that this chappie has taken a while to post. I think that's it's mostly my nerves at having an actual fic out there for people to read. As always, I would appreciate feedback. 

By the way…again as always, none of the characters are mine. They are property of people much more intelligent and successful than me. Except, I take credit for Kathleen Harris with help from my best friend and best editor, Holly. (Also, the best Spuffy writer on ff.net, Holly4.) 

Chapter Three

Donna's pleasant mood had waned from her shopping success the night before. She brought in the items she wished to ship, along with the list of potential roommate candidates; top two names crossed off. Her only hope today was that one of the other four would make a better choice.   
  
She muttered her morning greetings to CJ and her follow assistants. As   
Margaret made a fresh pot of coffee, Donna played Show and Tell with her, Ginger, and Bonnie while bragging that she believed that lambs were the cutest thing for a little baby; duckies were a close second. She was content that today seemed to be going as normal.   
  
She realized that she should never assume a day at the White House as such a common word.   
  
When Josh walked in, he looked worse than he had in weeks. "Have you been drinking?" she couldn't help but ask as he made his way to his office.   
  
"No." She believed that he might have just growled at her.   
  
She eyed him incredulously before asking again. "Have you been drinking?"   
  
He finally stopped and turned his body to face her. "No." This one was a bit less cold, but still a growl.   
  
"Well...Has Toby invaded your body, because you're usually a little less of   
an ass this early in the day."   
  
He sighed and raked his free hand through his air as he tried to balance the bag on his shoulder with the other. "Yeah. Didn't have too much fun last night." She could tell that he was in the place that he wasn't sure whether he wanted to talk about it or not.   
  
"Messages?" She said waving the pieces of paper in the air. "I can sing the 'Phone Messages' song for you." 

"That's all right," He said as he turned to walk into his office once more. There was a ghost of a smile on his face that he struggled to keep hidden.   
  
Donna grabbed what she needed, then followed him in. As soon as she witnessed him take his seat, she began. "What happened? Another fight with Amy? Did you come back here after you left last night?"   
  
Josh gave her a narrowed look. "How do you know when I left last night?"   
  
She shrugged. "I just...knew." She shook her head at her own lameness before she confessed. "I told the temp to call me. If you hadn't left before ten, I was going to come up here and kick you out."   
  
He smiled, but shook his head. "You were right with the first guess." He sighed. "She started in again and I was just too tired to put up with it. I left and wandered around DC until about two o'clock in the morning."   
  
His assistant arched a brow. "And you didn't drink?"   
  
"No." His reply was almost disappointed. "I ended up going to the Pentagon Mall."   
  
"Really?" That had been where she eventually turned to in the present buying process.   
  
"Yeah." Now he began to grin as he reached for his bag.   
  
"What?"   
  
He was looking rather confident in his self. "Well, I was able to do a   
little shopping."   
  
She couldn't help but snicker at the thought of him shopping. This was from the man that made her pick do his holiday shopping from a mail-order catalogue. Her laughing stopped as she saw what he pulled out of the bag.   
  
Josh laid an infant size Mets uniform on the desk in front oh her, cap included. He was pleased as she brought her hand to her mouth in shock and awe. Then, he went all the way and reached inside his bag for his second present; a stuffed donkey that was not only cute, but soft. He was a proud man.   
  
"Josh." They were both afraid that she was about to break out in tears.   
  
Now he was getting embarrassed. He never stopped to realize how much his thoughtfulness touched her. "Donna."   
  
"Is this for the baby?"   
  
The Deputy White House Chief of Staff couldn't help but laugh at her sometimes. "Naw. I thought that you could put this on the donkey and then do a puppet show at lunch."   
  
"Shut up." She was still grinning.   
  
"Yeah." His face betrayed him and embarrassment once again colored his features. He gestured for her to take the stuff nonchalantly. "I figure that you made me go to that stupid wedding, so it was the least that I could do."   
  
"Thank you." Wait a minute. Made him go to that wedding?!? "I did not _make_ you go to that wedding. I said that I was going and that I didn't have a date. You were nervous that I would end up staying too long so you volunteered to go so I would come back that same night."   
  
"Oh, sure." His tone was sardonic. "Make it sound like it was all my doing. You were desperate for a date and you know it. Besides that, you wanted me."  
  
The last words were probably the wrong choice. They happened to come out right as Leo stuck his head in the door. He rolled his eyes as he cleared his throat. The 'couple' in question turned and met his gaze with horror.   
  
"I was just looking to see if you had a free moment, but Donna wasn't at her desk. I can come back."   
  
"That wasn't what he meant. I don't want him. I never want him. In fact--" 

She was cut off when the Chief of Staff threw his hand in the air. "Stop. Just stop. Let me know when you two are done with your little thing. There is a country to run, but I wouldn't want to get in the way of the flirtation." His eyes then looked down to the desk where he saw the stuffed animal and baby outfit. He recognized why both would be purchased by a certain blushing boy. "Josh?" He didn't sound happy. His own face was becoming red. "Please tell me that you didn't..."  
  
Both Josh and Donna caught Leo's line of gaze and began to adamantly protest. "No!" Josh, as the man, won for the loudest. "It's for her sister!"  
  
"You didn't knock her up, did you?" One could never be too sure with this kid, Leo had learned.  
  
"No!" Donna screamed; Josh was too horrified to speak. "Josh has slept with no one in my family." She then emphasized. "Including me!"  
  
McGarry had to grin. They've got it bad. "All right. Now that this is settled, can we get back to work please?"  
  
"On it," Josh said with a firm nod. His boss cleared out and his assistant was quickly following. As she was about out the door, gifts in hand, she turned back to whisper. 

"Thank you, Josh."

He smiled. "Well that kid has to learn about America's two greatest things somehow. I doubt it will be by anyone born in Wisconsin." She gave him a look, but still had enough of her smile in it to be non-threatening. "You're welcome and I'll cover the shipping."  
  
"Really?"

"Yeah. Just put all your stuff and mine together and I'll cover the cost."  
  
She really hoped this was the beginning of a good day. She forgot what they felt like.

*~*~*

"Hi. May I speak with Kathleen Harris?"  
  
"This is she."  
  
"Hi. My name is Donna Moss and I believe that my roommate might have contacted you about an opening."  
  
"Oh yeah," the woman stated, finally realizing who Donna Moss was. "I heard that you are looking for a new roommate and I have always wanted to get into DC. Currently, I'm living in Maryland."  
  
"This sounds good, then. I just have a few little questions to ask and feel free to ask me anything."  
  
"Sure. I already know how much rent is though."  
  
"Great." Donna was really pulling for this one. The others she had a nagging feeling that they wouldn't work, but with this one she felt she had found the one. "So, what do you do?"  
  
"I'm an architect. The job sounds great, but around here it can get kinda hard to find work. I friend of mine and I own a business. Things are getting good, but its been a rough start."  


Architect, good. Rough start, bad. Donna could live with this. It sounded like the woman knew what she was talking about. "That's understandable. How are your hours? I sometimes get in really late but I always try and be quiet."  
  
"Oh that's fine. If I ever get in late, I'll do the same. I have to get up pretty early though."  
  
Perfect. Someone who won't be grouchy when Josh calls at five in the morning. "That's more than fine. I usually have to be at work at seven or eight."

"You know, I wasn't really told what it is you do. I know you work at the White House. You're not like the Vice President or anything are you?" She laughed. "I watch a little CNN, so I just wondered."  
  
"Oh, I'm nothing. Just an assistant." She said the statement just in time to look up and meet Josh's disapproving expression. "Kathleen? Can you hold on just a sec?" She then pulled the phone away and covered the mouthpiece with her hand.  
  
"You are so more than 'just an assistant'." He used his last words to mock her tone.  
  
She rolled her eyes but decided not to verbally comment. "Can you give me just a couple minutes? I know it's personal, but I really need to find a new roommate before Saturday and she sounds so much better than the other candidates."  
  
"What? What about the current roommate? She wasn't still mad about my calling her boyfriend a shmuck, was she?"  
  
She shook her head and smiled. Boy, she was for a while. "No. She learned to ignore you like I have." She continued before he could reply. "Just a minute more. Please." She flashed him the sweetest of smiles.  
  
"Fine," he grumbled. "But when someone walks by, I'll just let them know that you're not working."

"You do that." She then turned her attention to the phone once more. "Kathleen? Sorry. Where were we?"

"General interview questions."

"Yes yes. So, I believe that we talked about employment, so let's move right on to upkeep. I'm not the tidiest person, but I just like to get an idea of your general preference."

"Well, my last place was generally clean, but I always had my moments."

"Last place?"

"Currently, I'm living at a friends. There was an accident at my last place."

"Donna?" Josh was now on the line. "Sorry to bother, but I was wondering if you had the memo ready for the President? He keeps on asking when Dona will have it done for him?"

She rolled her desk chair back to give him a glower as he sat in at his desk. He meant to make her pay for the 'just an assistant' remark. "Just a moment, Josh. Sorry Kathleen. My boss gets impatient at times."

"Just an assistant, eh?" Harris was sounding impressed. 

Josh wouldn't go away though. "We like to call Donna our Deputy Deputy Chief of Staff. She helps me, Leo McGarry and the President out all the time. We don't know what we'd do without her. By the way, Josh Lyman." 

"Kathleen Harris."

__

Great. Now they're flirting. "I'll have that for you in a moment, Josh."

"Okay. Nice to meet you, Kathleen. Bye."

"You too, and bye." Josh sounded as though he had hung up, but Donna could see that he remained listening on the line. 

She mouthed a few choice nicknames before addressing Kathleen for another time. "Sorry. I believe you were telling about the accident at your last apartment."

"Oh, it's nothing important. It sounds worse than it really is. There was a fire."

"Oh no! Was everyone all right?" 

"Yeah…It was really nothing. Learned a valuable lesson- never practice flame throwing in the house."

Josh and Donna looked at one another with wide eyes. "Y-You set the building on fire?" She hoped that it was someone freak that had lived down the hall.

"Technically the torch did, but I guess I am the one to blame." Donna was amazed how flippant the woman sounded. She had burned down people's homes by practicing a circus act. "Don't worry. I practice that outside. That's why knives are always better. Can't burn things." 

__

Just stab things to death. "Umm…I guess you like to…" She didn't want to say 'be a circus reject.'

"Juggling is a hobby of mine." Josh was glad he was muted because he couldn't hold in the laughter anymore. "What are your hobbies, Donna?"

__

Not that, was all she could think. "I like to…read. Listen to music. Write memos." Her hope was lost with this candidate. "I really have to go now. Josh will need that memo soon."

She quickly ended the conversation. As soon as the phone was on the receiver, she laid her head on her desk in defeat.

"Flame throwing?" Josh said practically running out of his office. "She _learned_ a lesson, there?" He was laughing so hard that tears were on the verge of forming. "_Knives!?!_ The lunatic lady juggles _knives!!_" 

Donna looked up with eyes that were about to form tears for another reason. "I have until Saturday, Josh. Sadly, she was better than Julie. Julie likes her cats. She wanted to bring them. All fourteen of them."

"Fourteen? And I was thinking two was bad." It dawned on him. "Is she taking Tequila?"

"The cat's name was Fluffy and yes." 

"But I…" He didn't want to admit, but he liked that cat. Every time he would go over there, the kitty would always let him yell at him if Josh rubbed his ears. The moniker was given after Josh gave the cat a sip one particular drunken evening.

"I know." Donna was going to miss the cats too. Almost more than the roommate. _At least she didn't juggle sticks of fire._

"Where did you get these people?"

"I asked her to give me a few names. She obliged."

Josh arched a brow. "Donnatella. Do you remember the parties? Last year. Superbowl. When I left there was someone with a lampshade on their head."

"I know." It was her turn to growl. "I just don't have that many options."

"Who's next?"

"Her name is Dawn. I think I might start running FBI profiles." 

"Good luck, but we have work to do."

And work they did.

*~*~*

It wasn't until about seven thirty that night that Donna was able to try and reach the next name on her list. She was still at the office, but Josh currently in with the President and Donna had finished everything until Josh came back with more work.

She dialed the number and crossed her fingers. It rang twice before she heard. "'Ello?"

"Hi." She was hesitant but continued. "I'm Donna Moss in Washington and I was told that a Dawn--"

"You the bird with the open flat? Yeh, 'll get 'er."   


"Bird?" She had to ask.

The man sighed and seemed really annoyed with the observation. "Woman. Girl. Chit. Lady. Bint. Take your soddin' pick. Dawn!" 

Okay. Donna was just hoping this wasn't a sign of things to come. "Sorry," a much more feminine and much more American voice said moments later. "I'm Dawn."

"Is he a friend of yours?" That was rude and Donna regretted it the moment it came out.

The other woman laughed sympathetically. "He's my brother-in-law. Let's just say, he's a colorf… he's an interesting guy."

"I can imagine." She giggled a little. "Oh, I'm Donna."

"Nice to meet you." Dawn paused. "Well, I guess, nice to talk to you for the first time."

They both hesitated before laughing. What was one to say in a phone conversation?

From there, the girls discussed their backgrounds and previous living experiences. Donna was pleased to know that aside from Dawn's hesitance in discussing much about her sister's job and life in general, there wasn't a thing that she didn't like. The only exception could be found in the fact that Dawn was still in college and Donna at times had bursts of feeling old and unaccomplished.

When Donna looked at her clock again, it was eleven thirty. "Wow. I should probably get off, Dawn."

"Oh? You're still at work. Are you gonna be in trouble?"

Donna had to snicker. She was in too good a mood to care. "It'll be fine. Oh and by the way, since it was never clearly stated, would you like to be my new roommate?"

"Really?" The younger woman nearly shrieked with joy. "Of course!"

"Great. Everything should be moved out by Friday."

"Saturday morning then?"

"Perfect."

Donna had three days of celebration ahead. One of her biggest stresses was finally solved. She now had a roommate. A roommate that she already felt closer to than her current one. Things couldn't get any better than this.

"Donna?" Josh was out of his office as soon as she placed the phone on the hook. "What the hell was that?"

He was annoyed. She looked down to see that at one point, he must have handed her something. She couldn't help it though. She giggled. "My new roommate."

Josh sighed in aggravation. Donna normally did her job efficiently. He didn't like this time she was not. But, honestly more of his aggravation was directed to himself. He shouldn't like it so much when she giggles. "I still need a memo."

She looked down at the file. _Oops._ It looked a little on the national security side. She took a breath and got to work. She knew things couldn't get better.


	5. Chapter Four

A/N: I could have probably cut this down into a couple short chapters, but since I've had it written for a while, I wanted to just get it out there and let everyone who isn't Holly read it.

I really do hope that you enjoy this and I apologize if there is actually anyone out there following this story. I'll tell you that I am close to finishing the next chapter. But as a college student, (any anyone in this boat can tell you) it's been hard making time for this while I tentatively concentrate on my studies and try and get more fluent in the West Wing online community.

That being said, I have to give my standard thanks to Holly for being my beta, editor, chauffeur, Wednesday night buddy, Friday night buddy, and general writing consultant. 

Hope everyone has a really good day or night!! And I shamelessly add at the end (Okay…little shameful) that I would love to hear people's feedback. Whether you like it or not. You can post a review or email me at smiles4303@aol.com.

Kimmie

Chapter Four

Wednesday went by without much of a hitch. Things at the office were typical: Donna came, she bantered with Josh, she bantered with the rest of the staff, she did work, she bantered with Josh, she saw Amy, she grew inwardly jealous of Amy, she filed, she bantered with Josh, she wrote a memo, had a last bout of bantering with Josh, and concluded the day by going home.

Donna was pleased. For the moment her life was seemingly to make sense. She was comforted by the normalcy; reveled in it. If she took the time to take a step back and look at her life at current standings, she didn't know what she would do. It had been so long since she had really examined herself and she wasn't sure she wanted to. There was a comfort in ignorance. 

_Republicans might be on to something.  _  __

Thursday seemed the day for self-reflection.

Morning began like all others with the exception that it was the final one that Donna would have waking up with her old roommate. Though there would be boxes till Friday afternoon, she was technically living alone until Saturday morning. Secretly, there was joy in meeting the person that she had spent eight hours over the past two days conversing with. Donna was also enjoying the prospect of having a couple nights all to herself for some much-needed alone time.

She wasn't given much time to muse over these thoughts since Josh yelling when he walked into the bullpen. She could tell that this was not the time for banter. 

He was screaming into the phone. He knew that. He also knew that everyone was staring at him. It wasn't until he saw the look of complete shock on Donna's face did he realize that the whole West Wing had just heard him call the person on the other end a "conniving fucking little bitch." Josh was just glad that no one knew whom he was referring to.

"Josh!" The man on the phone screamed. "Dammit! I'm not a bitch and I wasn't conniving! I've always felt this way and you know it. Even if I still worked there, you know that I would have gone to the President with this position on 702. So fuck you!"

Sam was right. Bless his heart, but the former Deputy Communications Director was always the idealist, this time no exception. Josh simply had to look at the logical implications.  Sam was speaking again. "And damn you too, you ass! I was merely calling to give you heads up. After agreement on 595 at Ebbits the other day, I didn't want you getting too cocky." Then he emphasized. "You cocky whore!"

The White House Deputy Chief of Staff was able to make it to his office and slam the door shut before bursting out into laughter. "Whore?" He was laughing so hard he didn't know if he would be able to make it to his desk.

Seaborn, in contrast, was not. He was a combination of embarrassed and irritated by the other man's reaction. "Well, you…you called me a bitch. So are you mad or not?"

Josh couldn't help it and continued to chuckle. "Pissed. Your timing is bad and you knew it's would be a close one."

"So…you don't want to go out for drinks on Friday anymore?" Sam was determined to never allow politics to ruin their friendship. Josh and Sam had discussed this from inauguration day.

Josh sighed. The humor of being called a 'cocky whore' was finally wearing off. "No." A moment of silence passed. He could tell that Sam was shocked and most certainly uncomfortable with the thought that Josh was really going to hold this against him on a personal level. "How about Saturday night, bitch?"

The air was clear. "Sounds good." Sam hesitated before begrudgingly giving the other man what he wanted. "Cocky whore."  

Josh knew that Donna was standing outside the door as soon as he got off the phone. He also knew that she sensed his tension and wouldn't try and come in with her cute little morning anecdote or lesson of obscure or Donna-ized history and the like. With a sigh, he braced himself for the day. "Donna!"

She came in the room seconds later. "You bellowed?" 

He spent the next few minutes endlessly naming of a list of tasks to be completed as soon as possible. Upon conclusion, he finally looked up to meet her gaze. "It was Sam." He didn't need the question.

She acted as though it was of no importance to her, but it was. "He's not with you on 702."

"Yeah. I know," He knew it wasn't an epiphany. It was just a great big inconvenience he could do without.

"Anything else?" She then began to smirk as she replayed in her mind the conversation that had transpired outside.

"What?"

"Bitch?"

Josh shrugged. It was a sheepish shrug that said 'I know it was dumb and please don't tell on me'. "He called me a cocky whore."

Donna was able to save herself from laughing, but couldn't stop herself from an amused sneer. "Well, you _are _cocky."

A blink. "Donna!"

"And we know you reputation as one of the playboys of Washington political power dating."

"D-Did you just call me a cocky whore?" He couldn't help it. A day with no banter was a day of no living.

His assistant handed him all he needed for morning Staff. "Well…I wouldn't say…" She then paused to tilt her head to one side and mockingly consider her position.

"C'mon!" Josh demanded playfully. "Stop dragging it out and just admit you were, all ready."

As he reached for the doorknob, Donna grabbed his hand for the slightest moment. "I like 'arrogant slut', myself. But I do see the merits in 'cocky whore'. Kinda catchy."

In so many ways, that was the highlight of the day.

*~*~*

"You have Amy in fifteen."

Josh's eyes grew wide. "Huh?" He hadn't spoken with her since their fight the other night. He figured it best to give it time so she would let the dust settle and they could move on. Apparently it wasn't the consensus.

Donna slowed her speech down drastically and made sure to enunciate extra carefully. "You. Have. Amy. In. Fifteen. Minutes."

He merely glared at her.

She merely shrugged and walked out.

He cleared his throat and began searching for all his ammo. He knew that he would have time enough. Fifteen minutes was the time that took to prove him right.

Amy came in dressed as impeccable and professional as always. She also came in with the air and the look in her eyes that Josh dreaded. He knew that she was ready to throw the punches. "Josh." Her tone was cool and he could sense her calculating every detail of her surrounds. Amy Gardner was a political animal.

Josh stood up from his desk and gestured to the chair across from him. "Amy." He bestowed the same tone. "Can Donna bring you anything?"

"Maybe a boyfriend that isn't such an arrogant ass." He wasn't so sure about that, but decided that it was time to shut the door.  She kept on. "Maybe someone that deserves the title of White House Deputy Chief of Staff."

"I don't know," He snapped as soon as the door was closed. "She seems to prefer Republicans. Consequently, if you think they would do a better job, you should change your vote in four years."

"The way you're acting, maybe you should simply change your party affiliation, Josh. Oh wait!" She feigned a sudden burst of shock. "You just get the members of Congress to do that for you to save time."

Anger didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling. As his face grew redder, he did his best to swallow down the yells that were surging around his Adam's Apple. It took several minutes before he spoke once again in an almost eerily calm tone. "I don't believe that personal snipes are going to help you in your cause."

"No," She openly admitted. "I don't believe_ you_ are going to help in my cause."

  A blink.

"What?"

"I'm working for Schneider, now."

If there was a name of a Democratic Senator that made his insides twist in knots more, he didn't want to meet them. He certainly didn't want to have once been his friend. "Schneider." He couldn't help but hiss the name.

"He agrees with my position and has been working close with the Women's Coalition."

He understood. "He's running for President."

She was acting coy. "I don't know. It didn't come up in our discussions."

It was really hitting home now**.** "He's running for President and he's looking for a… a wife." 

Her gaze grew even darker. "I don't work that way. He's simply looking for someone to help strengthen support among women."

He couldn't deal with this at work. "Later." He shook his head in defiance. "Tonight…I can't do this now."

"You're not going to work on my position any?" She really expected some compromising.

"Get your head out of your feministic ass and look around! We _can't_ do it all."

"You can do this." She refused to back down that easily. In actuality, she refused to back down at all. 

"Not if we want to do anything else in our last four years." He stood up and walked to the door. "I have a busy day. We can talk about this tonight."

Amy was furious. _He _was blowing _her_ off. No. She wasn't going to take this lying down. 

Josh didn't know if he could take it standing up. But work had to be done. And he breathed a sigh of relief as the brunette woman stormed out.

Josh was given a few minutes before Donna walked in. She could see that he was troubled, but was oblivious to the extent. "So, is all forgiven for the haircut catastrophe?"

Explanation lay in his eyes. Confusion lay within hers. "Should I clear you from your next meeting? Its just Toby and Leo on the Mendelssohn remarks."

He nodded. His body was pumped full of emotions that he couldn't define. A part of him wanted to scream and throw things and another wanted to break down and cry. Life sucked and politics was only the condensed version. 

She turned to leave. "Donna?" A whisper was all he could produce.

"Yeah?" Her eyes traveled back to him.

"I…" He didn't know why this upset him so much. It wasn't the fact that he and Amy were on the outs. For good. And it wasn't so much that she turned to Schneider though he hated the man with a fiery passion. It was that in those few seconds, he realized how pathetic his life had become. "What am I doing?"

Her gaze softened considerably. "You're fighting to make this country a better place for all its citizens. You're working to better all aspects of this nation while instilling the basic principles of democracy and freedom. You're--"

"No," he said raising one hand in the air. "I mean what am _I _doing?"

She paused then said ever so gently. "You're sitting at your desk realizing that you are breaking up with your girlfriend?"

"Kay." Neither one knew what else to say. He gestured that she was free to go now and she utilized the opportunity. Yup. Life sucked.

*~*~*

The day flew by. Things didn't get better and Donna and Josh didn't speak again of anything on a personal level. Tension was high, not only among the two of them, but the entire building, and she was glad to finally be in the comfort of her own home where she no longer had to answer to anyone.

Except herself.

And there were questions to be answered.

_"I mean what am _I_ doing?" _That question had been in her mind all day now. After the conversation with Josh, she realized that she didn't have an answer for herself. Life wasn't what she had expected it to be; what she wanted.

She was getting ready to turn thirty and she had no idea where her life stood. She had nothing that she had decided long ago that she wanted, except a stable job. _A stable job with an expiration date._

School had been on her mind. She wanted to go to college and complete a degree in something, but the realization that she had no way to do that and support herself was a predicament. No one could contest that Josh Lyman was a great man and gave her stability in her financial standing, mind no governmental shutdowns, but she knew that she wouldn't be working for him forever. Mainly because she knew that Josh Lyman's current job was on an expiration date as well.

Josh Lyman. That name brought forth issues that needed to be dealt with. Issues she wanted to push far far away and try her hardest to forget about.

Her relationships, Josh included, brought forth worrisome thoughts. 

She wasn't close to her family. Anything but; she was literally shocked speechless when she was given an invitation to her own sister's wedding. Maybe you could blame the education, but more Donna laid blame of her family's disappointed expectations. They had expected Donna to follow their own beliefs. She couldn't change the fact that she would never be fit into their world.

That left her friends. Throughout the years, she had made plenty. She was easy to get along with and found comfort in being with other people. But they weren't her _friends_. They weren't the ones that she turned to in her times of need and in her times of great joy. Hell, they weren't even the ones she turned to on a boring Saturday. It was a select group of people that she had met nearly six years ago. A group of people assembled from professional men and women who were dedicated to getting a certain gentleman with elitist ideals and goals elected to the most prestigious office in the nation. They were her colleagues and-in most cases-her superiors. They were her friends. And she was scared about what would happen when the time came for them to go their separate ways.   

The President and the entire First family were people that she had come to know and love. She had shared meals and lively discussions with all and she knew that she would always miss it once it was gone, but she had already counted on it. Donna was not quite naïve enough to believe that the First Family would be sending her Thanksgiving invitations five years down the road.

Toby had become a friend. She could count on him to be in her corner and to always tell her his honest opinion. She didn't know if she had considered him that close of a friend, but the day that he told her of the President's multiple scoliosis, she realized it was so. She had no idea where Toby planned to go, but she banked on the fact that it wasn't anywhere near her.

CJ. CJ was a girlfriend. Donna loved the consideration. The Press Secretary was, in Donna's opinion, one of the most respectable women in the world. She could count on her to listen and she could count of her to comfort. Donna knew that, like all of her friends, CJ was out of her league and in four years she would have to move on and find someone new to share her problems with.

Margaret was another girlfriend. Margaret was a strangle lady that few figured out. She had to sadly admit that she wasn't as scared of losing Margaret as she was the others. In some ways, she felt that Margaret might be feeling a lot of the emotions that were in her mind. She just knew that she would miss seeing her every morning.

Leo was almost a surrogate father to her. She had adopted Josh's philosophy in that respect: Leo was the one that you wanted to please and pleasing him was the way to please yourself. Leo was the one you turned to when you were truly afraid, and Leo was the one you rushed to defend when trouble was coming. She remembered the times that she had called the Chief of Staff when she was worried about Josh after the shooting. She knew something was wrong and Leo was the only one that she felt would feel all of her fear. He did. They spent many nights deciding whether or not the time was right to address the situation openly. She always felt a she could turn to him for a guiding light.

She knew that she could count on Sam. If she was honest, she had two best friends: Sam Seaborn and Josh Lyman. Sam was just…Sam. He had a heart of gold and would do anything, _anything_, to protect her. The feeling was mutual. They could talk. They could just be. There was no tension and no desire for anything more. _Though he is downright gorgeous with a personality that is too sexy for words._  Sam was the archetype for the perfect platonic friend. She knew that Sam felt the same; he had told her directly. Donna was simply afraid that as Sam moved forward in his political career, which Donna knew was far from over, they would drift from their current standings. It unnerved her to consider.

Unnerve. That wasn't nearly good enough to describe her feelings about Josh. Josh was…Josh was everything and more to her. In her opinion, Joshua Lyman was the root of all evil and the source of all good. The thought of losing him was enough to make her physically ill. And it has. Not just with the shooting. On occasion embarrassment has wrought her about having dreams where her and Josh have parted, mainly on bad terms. Then she's awoken in time to haul herself to the bathroom to vomit. It frightened her, and still does, to think about what she's going to do without him.

Josh is her boss. Working for him has been the joy of her life. He is unbearable. He is a jackass. But he is a good man with good principles and dedication. She admires him. Even when he completely screws up, she still admires him. She could never blame him for the stupid things he says or does, because she feels he's right; he's brave enough to do what no one else will. Of course, she would never let him know because he is also egotistical and arrogant. 

Josh is also her friend. Josh is there to defend her and Josh is there to point out when she's wrong. Even more than Sam, she knows that Josh would do _anything _for her; he would run to do anything before Sam had the opportunity to step up and volunteer. They fight and bicker like an old married couple. Neither one of them has been oblivious to the fact that the comparison has been made. There hasn't been a girl in Washington that he's dated that hasn't come to ask if something was between them.  

But Josh's more than those simple titles. He was more to her than she could describe. There was only one statement that she could think of that would put into perspective how important that one simple-minded, arrogant, cocky, uncontrollable, kind-hearted, loyal, whiny, jackass of a man. 

"I love him." Donna's eyes went wide with the admission. She had hardly taken time to admit it to herself in the privacy of her own deluded and deranged mind. Speaking it out loud gave substance that she wasn't yet ready to handle.

"I do not!" She said to the empty air in attempts to change what had been done. To un-break the heart that she had just condemned to longing and desire and would never be sated. "I do not!" Her conviction was already waning. 

She tried to hide her dampened face from the vacant room. She tried to hide herself from…herself. "I…do…" She couldn't form the last word as she broke into strangled sobs. "Oh God." Realization finally hit her and she felt like she was drowning with no one to save her. Her life was out of her control and there was nowhere to go but down.

"Josh," was the last word she formed before she released the pressure inside herself and let her cries free for the entire world to hear. There were several causes for the hurt, the pain and the utter confusion in her life, but she would make sure that there would be one source of blame. 

*~*~*

Josh cleared his throat with conviction as he walked across the threshold of his townhouse. He knew that this would have to be how it ended. _Short and quick like a band-aid. That should make the pain last not as long._ "Honey, I'm home." He was determined to take the carefree approach instead of being baited by her barbs and snipes.

Amy had figured that he would count on her being here. She figured that he was gearing up for the latest break-up speech. She had a few words of her own. "Hey." That was all she managed when she met his gaze. She was disappointed not to see more fire in it.

"So," He looked around the room uncertain. "What's the plan? Arguing? Breaking up? Making up?"

His girlfriend rolled her eyes. "And I sometimes wonder how I don't see you charm."

He dropped his bag. He really wanted to get this over with. He hoped to find a bottle of vodka in the back. He really needed a drink, delicate system be damned. "Get off it, will ya? You're no better than me Amy. You date men here so you can get power, so you can get your issues heard in some fashion. I date women around here for some of the same leverage. I'm just decent enough to admit it."

She narrowed her gaze. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…" _What am I saying?_ But the words finally came. "I'm saying that I don't believe this relationship has profit anymore. To neither one of us. So let's just cut our losses and move on."

"_Profit?_" Irate couldn't even begin to express her situation. "We were _dating_, Josh. Note the past tense. But you…_profit._ You think you were just a fucking business negotiation?"

He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. That was exactly what he thought it had become. 

"First it was…convenience. Then comfort and more importantly profit. Yes." Not the answer that he probably should have given, but he was proud of his honesty.

"There were a lot more fucking 'convenient' men out there than you."

He smirked. "But I had all you wanted rolled into one. Who else were you going to find to help court the President aside from dating Leo?" He had to shudder at that thought a little.

"You arrogant, conniving…" Her anger was impairing her speech.

He couldn't believe how easy he was taking this. _This is way too easy. It shouldn't be this easy. I don't want it to be this easy. _"Think I've heard before." _Stop being so laid-back, you ass! You normally get a little upset when you break up with her! Or any other girl. Stop acting so…jackass!_

"Jackass!" Amy was now scurrying over to gather her purse and belongings. "You know what, Josh. I see why Mandy and your exes all had vendettas against you. You really are insufferable." She turned to give him a final look. "It's going to make watching you go down, all the more enjoyable." With that, she was gone.

It took about ten minutes before Josh realized what he had done. He had not only let loose one of the most powerful avengers for women's rights. He had let her loose bloodthirsty and ready to kill anything with Josh Lyman in proximity. He had also, more importantly, killed another romantic relationship.

He wanted to blame Amy, and he was sure that he could, but he had to admit that he was wanting out of this relationship for a while. Even before Sam talked to him over lunch, he had been thinking the exact same thing.

"I don't need anyone." He couldn't help but talk to himself as he raided the refrigerator. 

"I'm not some Donna-esque person who needs to be in a romantic relationship to feel I have worth." He stopped. He was alone, but he regretted the words. "She doesn't _need_ a guy. She feels like she does…And she's wrong. But I don't need that." He went to the cabinet where he kept the liquor. That was what he needed.

He knew that it wasn't so simple. Having a relationship kept his mind off of other things. Or at least in theory. When he was dating other women he shouldn't think about ones that he had no future with. "Like you had a future with Amy," he snorted. His mind started to drift.

"No!" He said slamming the newfound bottle of vodka on the counter and running a hand through his hair. "Stop, dammit! You don't have anything with her, either." He sighed as he hopped up on the counter and began to screw the lid off the bottle. "We can't. We won't. End of story." He took a long chug of clear liquid to further emphasize the statement.

Then the phone rang. He glowered at it before taking another gulp. He hoped that whoever it was would get the message. He was wrong. Instead of leaving a message, the person hung up and called right back.

"Bloody hell," He grumbled, taking a sip before hopping down and walking to the telephone. "Look," He growled upon answering. "I have nothing else to say. If you want to add something else, you can just make a goddamn fucking appointment!" Another swig.

"Have you heard of thing called caller ID?"

A pause. A struggle to swallow. "Leo?" 

The older man sighed. "Josh, really. Do you answer your phone like that often?"

"No." He was already rubbing his temples. Four drinks and he was already beginning to feel tipsy. "You seem to be on the other end every time I try."

"Good. I'd rather it be me instead of someone from the Majority's Office."

"Yeah." Josh didn't mean to be flippant, but he needed a purpose to chat tonight. He took a real long chug, immediately regretting considering the man on the other line.

"I need you to get back here." Before the younger man could contest or comment, Leo continued. "It's important."

"What?" Josh sounded harsher than intended, but there was no Congressional dispute that wouldn't wait till Friday morning to solve.

"Not on the phone." His tone was direct. 

Josh knew it had to be national security. "Kay," he absently nodded as he began to mentally organize how he was going to get to work. As pathetic as he thought, he might need to call a cab. He just might be inebriated. _That first one had to be at least two shots. I would guess three. No, in honesty, it was two in and half. We'll just tell everyone half the bottle._

He was out the door and running into the fire.

*~*~*

"Is Josh coming?" CJ was curious. She figured that he would have been second on Leo's list.

"I called him about half an hour ago. He should be in here any second."

"He's late." The Communications Director was not known for his patience. 

"Hey," Josh said somberly walking in. "So, what's up?"

"The ambassador to--"

Leo cut the other man off. "Josh?!?" He was simply looking at the man's eyes. He didn't need to smell the odor that would surely travel with the man as he grew closer. "You're _drunk?!?_" 

Josh blinked a second to gather his bearings. "I'll be fine. I'm…God I'm sorry. I had a couple drinks right before you called." _Not the time to brag about swigging half the bottle.___

CJ arched her brows in curiosity. Beer was usually Josh's drink of choice. Josh stumbled to explain. "I…I can handle this. Don't worry about me. Coffee."

Leo was pissed as hell. "The ambassador to Israel was assassinated in a car bombing." That was a start to sobering up the younger man. "We're trying to figure out more. Get to work." With that he gestured for all to vacate the premises. "Josh."

He waited for the room to empty and the door to close. "I--"

The Chief of Staff held up his hand demanding silence. "I don't want to know."

Josh nodded. He concentrated solely on blinking away the tears. To top off any bad night with disappointing the man before him was like purchasing a one way ticket to hell that had a layover in Branson, Missouri.

"Josh?" His tone softened. This boy had a tough skin, but tonight he looked on the verge of breakdown. "Real quick, what happened?"

The President's Political Strategist sniffled quickly and hoped the gesture wasn't obvious. Then he began with a customary clearing of his throat. "Nothing. Really."

"Josh," His tone was gruff but there was still warmness.

A sigh. "Honestly nothing." A shrug. "Amy and I are officially over."

"Officially?" Leo had secretly tried to follow Josh's romantic standings, but had quickly lost interest in the middle school squabbles the two were famous for.

"Yeah." Even Josh had to smirk at that. 

"Then what?"

"I…I might have to face a few issues in the future that I would rather not." He looked away. "Ever."

Leo was a man who could understand wanting to lose yourself. His was in a bottle and the man before him was in a job. Leo slowly nodded. He could guess a couple of obvious ones that the boy was running from, but he was sure that there were other things that working and having a 'girlfriend' helped keep his mind off of. "Things get hard." He was more talking to himself than his protégé. "It's hard when you have to look at yourself and consider if you really are able to get what you want."

An image came back to Josh's mind again. The same one that filled his mind before the first drink. He swayed slightly as he tried to fight it away. He wouldn't allow himself to follow that path for more reasons than he could count. One was the man speaking to him now. "Yeah." Josh wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond to what was last said. He really wasn't totally confident _what_ was last said.

"Get to work." That was currently both men's solace. They shared an embrace in their gaze before Josh turned and walked out. Leo was proud of Josh on so many levels, but he knew that he still had a bit more growing up to do.

"_No fucking coffee?!?_" 

Leo blinked. They should start with sobering. 


	6. Chapter Five

A/N: In my rush to hurry up and post this, I almost forgot to put one in. Really I really don't have too much to say, but to thank those of you who have actually read this. I just hope that one day you have the time to leave me a little feedback. That's really been the reason I've been so slow in posting new chapters. That and the woes of being a college student the week before Spring Break. The sooner I get a review that isn't Holly (though I love you Holly and thank you for all your help, support and encouragement) the sooner I will get Chapter Six out there. (Yes, I am desperate for a review to the point I will try bribery). Thanks to everyone who reads this far.

Kimmie

**Chapter Five**

Donna was more than a little surprised to find Josh already in his office and working away when she entered the bullpen at six thirty. She had merely came in early so she could get a head start on the paperwork that might make it available for her to leave a couple minutes early come nightfall. That and after her time alone last night, Donna decided that she was long overdue for a break.

Taking as much time as possible getting, Donna situated herself and looked over the messages that were waiting on her desk. Something had happened last night. _A lot of things happened last night, but one in Israel._ Donna flipped on CNN and saw what the entire ruckus had to be about.

"Donna." His call was not his normal barking self. It was more a desperate plea. He hoped that it was Donna who had just turned on the TV outside his office. She liked to do that. If he began to hear _Saved by the Bell_, he could be almost certain.

She walked in with worry plaguing her features. "How bad is it?"

He sighed and looked up at her. Noting his current conditions, he made it look entirely direr than it truly was. "The ambassador was assassinated. The group who did it-apparently Palestinian based fundamentalists- has already claimed responsibility. Travel advisories have been increased and all proper procedures at airports and embassies have been taken." When he saw that she didn't look any more relieved, he added, "Everyone here is safe."

"But…" There had to be a better way to say it, but she had neither the time nor the energy to be eloquent. "You look horrible, Josh."

A comb through his hair with a hand followed by a quick rub down of his unshaven chin was the best he could suffice as a response. "Yeah…that was my own fault."

She examined his face and then his clothes before proclaiming. "You got drunk. Take off your clothes."

Josh couldn't resist as he arched his brows in amusement. "Donna. We should set some guidelines. Neither one of us will request stripteases in this building. Now once off governmental property, you can proclaim your desire to see my body all you want, but--" 

Highly trained in the art of ignoring this man, she walked over to his closet and pulled out his 'Emergency Suit'.  After incidents a few years back, she easily convinced him on the merits of keeping an entire suit on reserve for special instances. "Here," Donna said flippantly, handing him the clothes. After a pause she tried to phrase her next inquiry. "And why…what happened last night…"

"Amy and I broke up." With nothing more than a shrug, Josh decided that he might as well tell her now. Besides answering the question, he knew that she would get wind on it before the end of business. 

"I'm sorry." 

The man stood there in awe as he watched her expression. He had been waiting for an 'I told you so' or a 'And who couldn't see _that_ one coming?'. Josh then understood how she must perceive the situation. "I didn't get drunk because we broke up, you know." With that, he awaited her quizzical stare. There wasn't one.

"I know."

"You know that we _permanently_ broke up, right?" He was beginning to want the quizzical stare.

"Josh," she said sensing what he wanted. "It was apparent that the relationship wasn't going to last. You knew that and even I knew it." Again he looked upon her in utter awe. It was uncanny how she could read him so fast.

"Well, I got drunk 'cause…" He didn't have a simple explanation.

She held up a hand in protest. "It's okay. We don't need a reason." Then she smiled. "Just don't make a habit of it or we'll need to get more Emergency Suits."

With a chuckle they ended the personal realm of discussion and got down to business.

*~*~*

"What are you doing tonight?" Donna was caught off guard when the voice interrupted her typing. She blinked and looked up to see Josh sitting on the edge of her desk.

"If you're wondering if you have to mess up any date plans, you can be at ease. I don't have any."

Josh tried to hide his smirk. "I was just asking what you're doing. Toby is busy with the twins and CJ's hosting a slumber party for Hogan."

"I love slumber parties." The comment was out of her mouth at the perfect time for CJ to walk by on way to her office. 

"Then feel free to come." The redheaded woman was pleading. "Eight adolescent girls and myself. I could use all the Donna I can get."

The blonde woman laughed as she shook her head. "Any other time, but tonight I'm staying in. My new roommate is coming first thing in the morning and I want to make sure that I'm there if she gets in from New York early." Then a wicked thought crossed her mind. "But Josh is free. He's itching for something to do tonight and he already cancelled on Sam until tomorrow. He can help ya out."

"NO!" Press Secretary and Deputy Chief of Staff declared in unison. And it was official at that moment: Josh would not be at CJ's this weekend. 

"I have plans, thank you," Josh snipped at Donna. "I was merely asking in attempts to hurry you up so I can leave."

Donna looked down at her watch. It was almost seven. "Fine." She turned off her computer and began to gather her things. "I'm leaving."

"Bye," CJ was laughing at her curly haired friend as she walked back to her office for a final time.

As soon as the Press Secretary was gone, Josh whispered, "I really have no plans. Wanna grab some Chinese, beer and TV?"

She was grinning as she turned to face him once more. This man couldn't spend a single Friday night by himself. "I'll grab the Chinese and you grab the beer. Be at my place within the hour or no Lo Mein for you." With that, she walked past him and out of the building. She knew that she shouldn't be happy about him coming over to her place due to the events that transpired last night and she really knew that she shouldn't smile about it. But some things were just too good to resist.

*~*~*

They both made it Donna's within forty-five minutes and began munching down on food and watching television. It was quickly decided that nothing good was aired on a Friday night because the media was stating the subtle hint to "get out and get a life."

The couple downed their first couple of bottles of ale as they made an unvoiced bet as to who could eat all the crab ragoons the fastest in order to get to the fortune cookies.

With the dinner entertainment over and Josh satisfied that he could shove a whole ragoon in his mouth while grabbing another, they realized that they had consumed the six pack he had brought. "You should have bought more beer," Donna pouted.

"You should have bought more crab ragoons," Josh said in kind. 

Donna sighed, pushed herself up off the sofa and headed into the kitchen. If she scrounged enough, she was fairly certain she could find some bottle of alcohol that her roommate had left behind. "Ah ha!" She professed as she found a dusty bottle of tequila in the back of one of the cabinets.

"What?" Josh was so sufficiently stuffed that he wasn't sure he could pick himself up to go and see what all the noise was about.

"This." Donna walked back in the room and tried to blow some of the dust away before unscrewing the cap. "I know you've already gotten drunk once this week, but I wanna turn."

The two of them passed the bottle back and forth in silence for a few minutes; each trying relentlessly to reach their goal of no longer caring. Feeling. Neither one wanted to feel the loneliness and confusion of their lives, and certainly didn't want to think any forbidden thoughts of the one they were sitting alone with.

"Are you drunk?" Josh was pretty sure he was as he passed the bottle.

"I think I'm gettin' there," the blonde said before tipping her head back and sloshing down another gulp.

"Bitch."

Donna blinked a cocked her head. "Me?"

"Amy." Josh snatched the bottle from her grasp and took a drink.

"Bitch." Donna smiled. She liked this new game.

"Unprofitable bitch."

"Josh," Donna looked at him and realized that her vision was getting blurred and her speech was sounding more and more distant. Inebriation was finally settling upon her. That meant that Josh had to be falling off the cliff at Smashed City. "I think we're drunk."

"Kay." Josh looked at the bottle still in his hand. There was still a shot or two. He threw it back before Donna could comment. "Yup," he slurred as he felt the fiery liquid flow down his chest. "Drunk."

With a sigh, she slumped against his shoulder. "Tomorrow is Saturday."

"You're sexy, Donna."

She felt like her attractiveness must have something to do with the day of the week. "Thanks. I like Fridays." 

"You're always sexy."

She giggled a little. "You are too, Josh."

"I know." He flashed a lazy grin as he kissed the top of her head.

"I won't even find you accountable for your poofy hair."

"Poofy hair?"

"Or your oldness."

"_Old?!?_ I am _so not_ old!" He pulled her eyes up to meet his own. "I could so outdo any of your Republicans in bed."

She snorted. "Yeah right."

That was how it begun. A drunken bet. Josh leaned down and kissed her lips. There was no gentleness or chaste; it was lustful passion at its primitive instinct.

As their kiss deepened, both knew that it would do nothing to sate their desires.

_Oh God! We shouldn't do this…He's too drunk. I'm too drunk, but he's _way_ too drunk._

Donna was correct. Josh was too drunk to know and she was simply too drunk to register the consequences and care. She had him. With her. Now. That was all she needed.

Since Josh heard no protest, he took it as ample opportunity to pursue further. His hands began to explore her clothed body. He felt all the places that he never imagined that he would ever touch on Donna and relished in the way she reacted- her moans and gasps for breath, her withering limbs, and her need to touch him as well.

The time quickly came that simple petting was no longer enough. They both knew what they wanted and worked in unison to achieve the goal. It took only a few minutes for each to stumble out of their pants, shirts and undergarments and find their way to one another once more.

They weren't looking for romance tonight. They weren't looking for anything but a way to forget their lives and troubles. And sexual satisfaction.

"Josh," Donna moaned as he began to spread her thighs.

He looked up at her expectantly. "If you don't want me—"

"Josh." She growled his named as she reached up to kiss him soundly on the lips. When they finally parted, she panted, "Not the sofa." Donna heaved his body from atop hers and proceeded to walk toward her bedroom.

He was lost in a haze that he was beginning to accredit to a drunken fantasy. All he knew was the one thing that he wanted most in the world was getting up and walking away and that he was determined to do everything in his power to see that he was with her when she reached her destination.

The sluggish nature of their intoxicated state made the journey to the bed long and difficult. But they rewarded each other when they reached their objective by uniting their mouths in another passion filled embrace. As their lips clashed and melded, they knew that they needed to feel the contact of more intimate parts.

The heated kisses and embraces were enough in the way of foreplay for both of the parties involved. Neither Josh nor Donna was thinking in terms of romance as they laid themselves down upon the mattress. In fact, there at that moment, there was only one way they were thinking as Josh poised himself between the hips of the woman in front of him: a physiological need to sate the fire that consumed their minds and bodies.

"Umm…Josh?" Donna said, gaze descending quizzically after nothing progressed for a few moments.

Josh looked down at himself as well to notice that his burning desire hadn't fully reached a certain region of his body; in fact the one most important in fulfilling his lustful desire at the moment. "It…it's just resting up." 

Donna said nothing but kept looking downward in hopes for a change. After several seconds, "Josh, I think he's had enough of a nap. Can you wake him up now?"

He changed his position above his would-be lover to sit on the edge of the bed beside her. "Give him a minute! He's…he normally doesn't sleep on the job."

Donna was giggling almost uncontrollably at this point. "Josh. I didn't know you were impotent."

"I am not! He just had a little too much to drink, Donna."

"Impotent!"

"_I am NOT!!_" He turned to face her as he growled his objection.

"Republicans aren't all impotent. I can tell you." She then began a short explosive dialogue of a couple of the heated incidents that certainly proved that Republicans do have balls. 

At that moment, the explicit words coming from her mouth combined with the fact that he knew they were done with her little body was more than enough to send him to recess.

And that was the thought as he thrust himself inside her body for that first time. There were no spoken invitations, acceptances, or requests. All of that was implied by the vibes that transcended between one another.

As he began thrusting in earnest, both realized that the process to satisfaction would only take a matter of minutes. Both Josh and Donna sensed the impending release and took no care to draw out the status of their union.

They had little time to develop a rhythm to their movements, as both were too preoccupied with their own pleasure. Donna could feel it slowly building inside her as she pushed herself harder against him.

But Josh's libido won the race. Not two minutes after he initially slid his member inside her, he spilled himself into her and collapsed upon her body.

"Josh," Donna moaned after a couple minutes of silence.

He was still upon her as he rested his head against her breast. He grunted his reply.

She lay there unsatisfied. It would have to be that in his current state and position, there would be no workable way for her to achieve her climax, even if by her own supply. Donna gave a sigh of defeat as she shuffled under her slumbering man and wrapped her arms around his torso.

"I don't know about beating Republicans," she mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

*~*~*

The throbbing in her brain was her first indication that she was awakening from her drunken state. She heard herself whimper as she tried to roll herself over onto her side. After she registered her own notable noise, she also heard a groan in response and immediately realized that the sound in combination with the pressure upon her maintaining her lack of mobility symbolized that she was not alone.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked down upon her chest to see a curly bunch of hair. There was only one man on the face of creation that she would get in bed with that possessed tresses such as the ones before her. "Oh God."

As the memories of the past few hours flooded her mind, she quickly gathered her bearing enough to know that he was still too drunk to respond. She rolled him off herself and sat up to look at the clock. The red digits told her that it was four thirty in the morning. "Oh God," she whispered again as a hand came to her mouth. Her new roommate was due in less than four hours.

"Oh God," became her mantra as she sprang off the bed and ran toward the bathroom. As she flipped on the light and stared as her still blurred reflection, she contemplated whether she wanted to throw up or pass out in the middle of the floor. She opted for the more productive of her options and threw on a pair of dirty clothes while breathing a few more "Oh God's" before returning to the scene of the crime.

Donna hoped that if Josh sensed her glaring, he would miraculously wake up and get out of her apartment. _Or declare his undying affections._

She wiped the tears that were already swelling in her eyes. Of all the things that she needed right now, an awkward and estranged relationship with her boss and closest friend was not on the list. Donna decided that her choices were running slim. Josh had to leave and she preferred that his departure be as soon as possible. Hopefully still drunk enough that she wouldn't have to broach the subject with him until Monday, preferably never. "Josh," she quickly called into the silence.  

She quickly judged that this was going to be more difficult that she thought. "Josh!" she began yelling as she went into the front room to gather his clothes. "JOSH!"

The first stirring of life the made was several minutes later when Donna shoved him into the floor. "Huh? What? Huh?"

She stared at his disoriented state. Her own reaction was slowed as she tried to remember what to do next and she didn't even want to imagine was happening inside his sensitive system. Finally, she spoke as she tried to coax him off the ground. "Josh, you have to get dressed. You have to get dressed and get out."

Josh was able to sit on the edge of the bed after substantial effort from a now groggy and irritated blonde. As he sat slumped and unresponsive, Donna realized that she was going to have to dress the git herself. 

She quickly called a cab before taking on the challenge. Donna was very proud that she succeeded on placing on the boxers and pants and was mildly surprised to realize that he never took the time to remove his socks.

Donna couldn't resist as her fingers lightly traced along the length of his scars. The memories of that time made this most difficult of predicaments bearable because she knew that though she would most likely 'lose' Josh, she wouldn't _lose_ Josh. She went on with her dressing efforts, deciding quickly to give up on the undershirt as she tossed it aside and settled for fastening his button-up.

As soon as his shoes were tied, she slipped her own on and looked outside. Donna hoped that she had just enough time to write a message.

_Josh-_

_Don't worry when you wake up. I didn't steal your money although you drank all my liquor. I put you in a cab and he should get you in your place. Your car is still here and will be unless you want me to drive it to you this weekend. If not, I'll bring it to work on Monday. Call me when you wake up so I know you didn't die._

_Donna_

She shoved the note in his wallet and looked again out the window. With the sight of the waiting cab, she went back to her room to grab her package and began the descent down the stairs for delivery.

What seemed like ages later, Donna shut the door to her apartment and leaned her back up against it. As she sank to the floor, she let loose the pressure that had been building inside since she first awoke. She had no idea how she could live through seeing him again or how he could live through seeing her. No idea as to how her life had spun so out of control again so fast.

As she let her sobs gain control over her body, she gave up all awareness to reality.


	7. Chapter Six

A/N: Oh goodness…I have to thank all of you who I guess took me seriously and reviewed me. You have no idea how good that made me feel. I thank you all a thousand times. And as always I give thanks to Holly. And I will remain true to my word. 

I have a few words that go before this chapter. Some of you might recognize another fandom lurking. Please, do _not_ take this for anything. I do not want to discourage or encourage people to read it based on the minor role that they are playing. 

That being said, I have to make note of Zangy. Anyone reading _Harbingers of Beatrice_ will encounter one Zangy and I want to warn that this is not the same guy. This happens to be the original Zangy that me and a friend "created" in a fic that we will probably never post online and the Zangy that Holly4 has used is a hybrid that she designed.

All right…now that I went on forever and a half, I will simply say that I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Six**

Donna lay upon the floor in a daze as she heard the pounding going on above her. She knew that whoever was knocking on the door wasn't going anywhere, but she couldn't muster the strength to pull herself up off the ground.

"C'mon there!" An irate Cockney voice boomed through the barrier. "I know you're in there. Jus' get up an' open the soddin' door!"

"Leave her alone," a substantially more feminine voice replied. "She has a very demanding job and she may have had to work late last night. Or she may have already left this morning. Why don't we go find you two a room and try again later?"

"She's in there." Donna was perplexed. That was a third voice, again male. How many more people were waiting on the other side? She decided that she would just have to venture and find out.  She slowly dragged herself off the ground and unlocked the door. She didn't know why she took a jump back when she saw the three faces staring back at her. 

"Hi," she said shyly. "Sorry about that."

"Hi," the woman provided. "If now's a bad time…"

_Dawn! Oh. My. God._ "No," she said quickly. "I…I…ummm…" She gestured them in. Donna was too afraid to see what happened to the appearance of the place once she was liquored up. 

"Had a little fun last night?" the blonde headed British man remarked with a smirk as his eyes trailed over the empty bottles.

"Looks like it," another blonde, but American man added.

"I'm so sorry." Dawn's sincerity was heartfelt. "They won't be here long. Just until the movers get everything up." She then proceeded to gesture the men away from their wanderings. "This is my brother-in-law… Will." 

"Nice to meetcha," The peroxide Cockney said sticking out his hand.

As they shook Dawn continued. "And this is our friend, Zack."

"I would call Zangy more like a member of the family." Will's eyes glimmered. 

"Whatever," Dawn said with an eye roll. She then turned her attention to Donna. "Just ignore them. It's hard. A talent their wives are in the process of perfecting."

Donna looked again. They were both gorgeous specimens of the male species with smiles to light up the room. And there was something intriguing about their eyes. _They would be married. _

"Again…" All Donna could think about was the bed awaiting her in the other room. _That I had sex in last night with…no._"I'm so sorry about the mess."

"I'm pretty sure that cleaning it up won't be quite as fun as making it," Zack said picking up a discarded brassier. 

"Never is," Will said as reached over to the coffee table to pick up a silk pair of underwear. 

"I assure that this won't happen again," Donna was past flabbergasted; she was pissed as she lunged toward the men and grabbed the garments in question. "I…I had a bad night." As the hot tears began to form behind her eyes, she simply prayed that they wouldn't continue on.

The men were astute enough to notice the change. "Yeah," the Cockney said as he reached inside his duster and pulled out a pack of Marlboros. "Jus' make sure the Bit does her homework and you girls can have whatever fun you want on the side."

"Well…" Zack continued as he snatched the cigarettes from his companion's grasp. "Not _any_ fun, but I think that we can trust Dawnie here to use her best judgment if she doesn't want any surprise visits from a couple of guys and an irate sister." He looked at Donna. "Do you have guys over often?"

"No," she nearly groaned. Talk about bad luck. "This won't happen again. I don't have a boyfriend either."

She regretted the words as soon as they were spoken. Will couldn't resist the urge. "Then was he ju—" 

Dawn cut off her friends before they could speak. "Why don't you two go outside and smoke those? And while you're at it, could you see if the moving truck is here yet?"

The boys took their leave. Dawn averted her eyes as Donna tried her best to pick up an armload of debris and discarded clothing. "I promise they're more talk then anything. Zack and Will just like to give a hard time. They usually know better."

The blonde woman blushed as she quickly continued the impromptu cleanup. "It's fine. I'm…I don't know how long you were standing out there. They deserved to say what they did. I just hope…I hope that they don't give too much trouble about your bad roommate."

"Nah," Dawn said with a flip of her hand as she quickly overcame her own tentativeness. "They can tell that you're a good woman. They have a sense about these kind of things."

Donna sheepishly smiled as she tossed everything into her room and shut the door. "Do you want to see your room?"

Dawn was quickly given the tour while Donna was quickly given the opportunity to go to the bathroom and freshen up. The majority of the morning was spent getting boxes unloaded off the truck while trying to situate room throughout the space to accommodate for all of Dawn's belongings. It didn't take long for the movers to get things done and leave it to Will and Zack to assist in the assembly of bed and various other furniture.

Around two o'clock, the phone rang. The girls were pinned in Dawn's room by her dresser. "Zangy?" Donna tentatively called, adopting the nickname after Will's adamant insistence. "Can you grab that?"

"Hello?" Zack said into the phone.

"Umm…is Donna there?"

"Depends on who's asking?" was his cheeky reply.

"This is Josh."

"Josh who?"

"Who are you?" Josh's head was throbbing and he was just hoping he dialed the right number 

"Hold on." Zack sensed that this may be the certain hung-over gentleman from the night before and decided to be mean as he didn't even bother to pull his head away before yelling into the other room. "Donna! Are you here or not? There's a Josh Who Are You on the phone!" 

"Yes!" Donna shouted as she began to scamper over the furniture.

"Is he Mr. Happy—"

"_Zangy!_" She screamed as she worked her way through ever faster.  

"'f she moves like that every time this Josh's in question, I can see why he'd liquor her up."  

"Stop it!" Dawn snapped as she tried to assist her female ally.

Out of breath, Donna finally managed to get to the phone. "Josh?"

"What the hell is going on over there?" He didn't mean for it to come out as gruff or possessive as it had.

She ignored the tone. "Dawn is here. That's her brother-in-law or something to that effect. Did you make it home okay?"

"Yeah," he said slowly. "About last night—"

"Josh." She wasn't prepared to do this right now. "Can we…can we talk about it later?"

"Kay. Sam is picking me up tonight, so you just wanna drive my car to work Monday? I shouldn't need it before then."

"Perfect." She hoped she could gain enough courage to face him by then.   

*~*~*

By six, the girls were able to finally be alone. Zack and Will had everything intact and in place and there was nothing left but to fill the drawers and arrange the closet. Donna was exhausted, but felt it rude to go hole herself up on the first night of the arrangement. 

"Are you hungry?" Dawn asked as she hopped down in a chair as she watched Donna lay upon the sofa. "You don't look like you want to get out. Chinese maybe? I saw this place—"

"No." Chinese food and beer were two things that she didn't want to think about.

"True," The brunette woman said with a nod. "It did look like you had that last night. Well…how about pizza? Can never go wrong with a pizza."

Donna turned her aching head to face her. When Dawn saw the expression she amended. "Maybe you can. There are some that don't like pizza." She was getting nervous. "Did you know that pizza wasn't really founded in Italy but actually the United States? It was founded by Italian immigrants who simply took—" 

"Dawn," the other woman interrupted as she sat up and headed to the kitchen to find some painkillers. "Do you always talk like Sam?" 

"Who's…who's Sam?" Her face was turning crimson.

"Just a friend of mine that you will undoubtedly meet and get along with. Just…just order what you want. There are menus on the fridge and I keep some cash in the drawer there. Since I'm being a horrible roommate and host, at least let me pay for your first night's dinner."

"It's okay. You're probably pretty tired, right?"

Donna overcame the urge to reply with, "No shit," and simply nodded.  

"I'll tell ya what?" Dawn replied in her bubbly voice that was just about too much for an unbubbly body to take. "I'll order a pizza and you just go take a shower. You can eat some if you want or you can go on to bed. Deal?"

"Great," Donna liked this plan a lot and let her smile show it. 

As she walked on to the bathroom, Dawn called out once more, "And umm...Donna?" She turned to face the inquiring girl. "Was Sam the guy…from last night?"

Donna snorted and quickly apologized, understanding how the interpretation could occur. "No, but you'll probably meet him too."

*~*~*

"You're looking a little rough there," Sam replied when Josh opened the door.

"Thanks," he grumbled as he grabbed his coat and keys. "May I add how dashing you look yourself, Congressman."

"Just looks like…did you drink some more?" He had heard about his time with the bottle on Thursday night.

"Yeah," Josh admitted. "I went over to Donna's place after work and we had Chinese and drank beer."

"Damn," Sam said whistling threw his teeth. "That had to be quite a bit."

Josh's cheeks flushed. "Well then there was the tequila."

"Sounds like an exciting story is on the hinges."  

Josh cocked a brow as they headed toward the car. "To be honest, it isn't anything that you haven't told me for years."

Sam cracked a grin as he unlocked the doors. "What can I say; I knew the day would come."

"And come it did," Josh muttered as he crawled inside.


	8. Chapter Seven

A/N: Wow… I thank all of you who actually reviewed my last chapter. Holly said that a good kahuna scene would bring them out of the woodwork, but I didn't think that I would get as much of a response as I did.

Again thanks and I also plead for your patience in the fact that it took me this long to get the next chapter out. The morning after is always tough and I've had a Spring Break and classes to deal with.

That being said , I hope you enjoy this and also have patience with me since I have two HUGE papers due in two weeks for two different political science classes that I haven't had the inclination to start yet. I want to work on this, but it might take a little time. Thank you all SO SO much. You have no idea what it meant to me to see that people actually liked my work (or was kind enough to lie.)

Thank you, Holly. I wouldn't be writing this without your support and editing.

**Chapter Seven**

"I can't do this," Donna muttered as she walked into the front room**,** adjusting her dress suit for the twelfth time that morning.  
  
"Yes you can," Dawn said as she fidgeted with her own attire. She was also a little nervous since it was her first day of school at Georgetown. "I know that you'll do just fine."  
  
"Yeah," Donna sniped. "I'll do fine right up until the time he calls me into his office, shuts the door and fires me!" She tried desperately to calm herself before she burst into the tears she had cried all weekend.  
  
Dawn was immediately by her side with a comforting arm on her shoulder. "I admit that I don't know Josh except from what you've told me, but I have a hunch that he cares more about you than you might see. You practically single-handedly saved his life after the shooting."  
  
"You mean me and the skilled and trained group of surgeons, doctors and nurses who spent fourteen hours operating and saving him from the bullet and subsequent injuries, right?"  
  
"Exactly," Dawn said as she pulled away and grabbed her book bag. "Just keep that in mind."  
  
"Likely he won't see it that way as he fires me."  
  
"Well," the brunette looked down at her watch. "I don't know what he'll say, but I think that your chances of keeping your job might be higher if you... make it there on time."  
  
The girls said their goodbyes and goodlucks before venturing down the stairs. Dawn insisted on catching a cab and Donna was left to drive alone with her thoughts and Josh's car.  
  
She had to smile as she approached the vehicle and saw all the trash, debris and various other items that were strewed all along the back and the passenger seat. Files that were most likely important enough that Donna had to make copies when he misplaced them were stashed in strategically obvious locations intermitted with wrappers from candy bars, chips and fast-food restaurants**.** She could almost swear that she saw the corner of a pizza box underneath a discarded suit jacket, but she was too disgusted to look. Sadly though, she had to admit that no matter how ghastly and pathetic the fact that this was the vehicle of a middle-aged man, she found it adorable that he still needed someone to remind him to clean out his car. She decided the topic to make that her final stream of banter with him in that moment.  
  
Donna had never known a time when she dreaded encountering him as much as she did today. She knew that this was the sole cause for her decreased driving speed. She remembered the incident where she lied to the Grand Jury about her diary, but that didn't even begin to compare because not only did she write things about him, but she actually had the mind to act things out as well. Josh's anger that day was predicted, but with this topic she couldn't even fathom how much hatred he would hold against her.  
  
Donna hoped that turning on the radio would help to ease her mind, but as she turned on NPR the first name reference would be one linking the current Congress's workings on the latest appropriations budget and the White House's closest tie of Josh Lyman. Donna switched it off as fast as she could but the damage was already done. If it was possible, the situation hit home even harder; she again realized how important and influential her boss and weekend lover really was.  
  
"I just slept with the third most powerful man in the White House and Washington's most brilliant political mind. Can I die now?" Her wish was not fulfilled but she was able to prolong her arrival several minutes in light of road construction. She sat in silence**,** tapping her fingers incessantly on the wheel as she tried to tabulate what she would do without her job.   
  
"I…I got a job offer a few years back. I can call him up and see if that Internet site is still available." She paused to chew on her bottom lip for a few seconds. "Or…I can find a job as a secretary for someone here in Washington. A lawyer. A…female lawyer. That's what I'll do. Or I will ask to be given a low-level job at OEOB. Maybe…why would he do that? I liquored him up and took advantage of him!"   
  
She quickly realized that she was on Pennsylvania and now heading right to the parking lot. Donna panicked. "Oh God!" She tried desperately to turn around but she was out of luck and—before she knew it—was driving right into the space marked for the Deputy Chief of Staff.  
  
She wondered if security would question if she simply sat in the car all morning, but she figured that a guard would come over to her after a moment and wonder if she was all right. That didn't stop her from taking her time as she unbuckled and made sure that her makeup was applied correctly before venturing out into the open world.  
  
If she wasn't so sick with dread, she probably would comment on how the weather had taken a remarkably nice turn right in the middle of winter and made the air feel warm and spring-like. During this time of year, everyday that was not carrying the bitter winds of cold should be one to be cherished, but today Donna could find nothing to sing about.   
  
She knew it was silly, but her first venture once in to building was to the ladies room. Immediately she locked herself in one of the stalls and told herself that she would never leave and therefore never have to face Josh again. Five minutes later she abandoned the idea when she thought about how silly it was for a full-grown woman to be hiding from her boss in a bathroom stall and took her leave of the restroom facilities.  
  
She hoped that she could spark up lively conversation with Margaret, Carol**, **or anyone as she made her way to the coffee pot before going to her desk, but everyone was already busy at work and left Donna with no excuse to hover around.  
  
After a few sips of coffee, she inhaled a deep breath and turned her walking toward that of her corner of the bullpen right outside of Josh's office. His door was open and he immediately called to her when she approached her desk.  
  
"Donna! You're over twenty minutes late…from _my_ late time."  
  
"Yeah," she said absently as she set her coffee down and hung up her coat. "I was running a little slow this morning."  
  
"Is the car here?" Josh asked as he walked out to her desk. The way she was deliberately accentuating her actions left little imagination to the thought that Donna wasn't moving quickly.  
  
"I parked it in your space," she replied, handing him the keys without looking him in the eye. She then grabbed the messages off her desk. "You know that Staff has been moved back about fifteen minutes due to a NSA briefing?"  
  
"Yeah," Josh said as his eyes narrowed and he examined her body language. "I already read the first five or so messages. Look, Donna…We need to talk."  
  
"About what?" She knew that the innocent approach wouldn't work, but she was a desperate girl.

Josh's tone lowered considerably. "Friday."

She couldn't help but swallow and she was almost certain that Josh flinched as he heard it. "Well…do you want to do it now or wait till after Staff?"

"I have the time now, don't I?" He was insistent that they don't put off this discussion any more. In fact, Josh had been regretting not calling her all weekend to talk about it once his hangover took leave. He just couldn't muster the courage.

Donna was desperate to find an excuse. She knew that dreading it was probably worse than just jumping in and taking care of it, but she was scared to death. So scared that at that very moment, she was almost certain that she was about to burst into tears. She quickly snatched up the messages again as she turned to go toward the file cabinet. "Says here that the Whip wanted to talk to you before he went to the committee hearing."

"Kay," Josh said**,** resigning to the fact that she was determined to ignore him. He walked back into his office. "Anything else?"

She grabbed the file that she needed and followed. She knew she shouldn't but she was drawn to his fire. "You're having lunch with Shuller and at one thirty you have Parker. Toby wanted you to cover the meeting for him at ten in the Mural Room."

"The one with the guy from State about the thing?" Josh asked in dread that at any other time would be viewed by her as comical.

"There was an assassination of a Middle Eastern diplomat, Josh." Her tone was calm but in an air to remind him. "We have to make sure that we don't worsen the situation."

"Toby is our Communications Director. This meeting seems to be one that will be guiding our tones of communication." 

"He doesn't like Dansen." Donna shrugged helplessly. Normally Josh whined without merit, but today he had a good point. 

"I'll talk to him about it in there," Josh decided as he started to grab his briefing memos. "Anything else?"

"Not on the 'official' schedule."

He looked up at her with arched brows. "'Official' schedule?"

She smiled and nodded. This was her last moment of regularity. "Yup. On the 'unofficial' schedule, you have an appointment at about," She looked down over her memo. "I'll say about three thirty, where you go down to the parking lot and clean out your car."

He cast her a dirty look as he leaned over and gently grabbed her wrist to look at her watch. "I think I will staff that one out." He paused before releasing her arm and looking up at her with a cocky grin. "Donna, say at about three thirty you go down and clean out my car." With that he snatched up his folders and was out the door. 

"I don't think so." Donna grabbed the ones that he really needed and followed. She then realized that he made plans for he to have stuff to do at three thirty. "Okay," she said meekly. 

Josh paused and remembered the past weekend and tried desperate to amend himself. "Only if you want to…In fact, don't worry about it. If all goes well today, I can do it tonight. It is pretty dirty." He grabbed the folders in her hand. "Thanks."

She stood there in a stupor as he walked away. She didn't know what to brace herself for after Staff.

*~*~*

Josh had been dreading the conversation before him for what seemed like months, but what really constituted to only a matter of  hours in the grand spectrum of life. After he awoke Saturday afternoon and realized what he had done, he felt nothing but regret and refused to think about it from Donna's perspective. Sam had reassured him that she would understand and forgive him for taking advantage of their friendship like he had, but he was fairly certain that Donna was quite disgusted with him. 

He told himself that he wanted to confront the subject first thing so he could know exactly what was going on inside her mind, but as Donna would see it, he would have to wait a few more minutes to sate his curiosity. These few minutes happened to be the ones where his courage laid and now that Staff was over, he dreaded encountering her again. "Hey CJ," Josh said catching up with her as they walked into the hall.

"What?" she said as she turned to face him and consequently earning him the attention of Toby, who had happened to be mid-sentence.

"I have a question."

"Don't answer**.**" Toby was pouting; as he had been forced just minutes before to take the Dansen meeting.

CJ chuckled and looked to Josh once more. "What is it, Pokey?"

Josh arched a brow. "Pokey?"

"Well you are going really slow about getting to the point."

"Yeah…I was wondering that Donna's comment on how I needed to clean out my car is a deeper symbolism that she is disgusted with the life I lead and the choices I make." 

Toby smirked. "Did you drink wine with your Captain Crunch this morning?" 

"Seriously!" Josh said emphatically. "I don't understand women so is this a sign or a symbol for something?"

CJ was grinning. "First of all**,** the entire woman race appreciates the concession that you truly don't understand us." 

"_CJ!!_" 

"Second of all," she continued ignoring his complaint. "I think that Donna's comment about your need to clean out your car symbolizes the fact that you're a slob and have a dirty car that no doubt needs to be cleaned." 

"That's…That's all?"

"Bored now," Toby said as he walked away. "This conversation is no longer entertaining." 

"Yes, Joshua. I think that is all that it means, but I am sure that you will read something more into it." 

"Thanks," Josh grumbled as he walked away. He walked on toward his office but paused in his step as he caught sight of her talking to one of the aides as she sat on her desk. She was looking at what seemed to be strict orders on what the girl was supposed to do with the file that was exchanging hands. He didn't know what he would do without her. 

"It's as easy as that," Donna finished saying as Josh approached earshot.

"Can you explain it one more time?" The girl asked meekly.

"What?" Josh said sauntering over.

Donna released an irritated sigh before talking. "She is supposed to fax that over to the Black Caucus, but she's never used a fax machine before."

Josh nodded slowly, unable to calculate how you could get a government job without having operated a fax machine before. "Have you ever used a telephone?" 

"Yes."

"It's that with paper**.**" He immediately turned to Donna. "Can we talk now?" He took her by the arm and didn't wait for a response before ushering her into his office. He released her and walked to his desk once they both cleared the frame.

"Yes?" Donna asked.

"Can you shut the door?" Josh gestured as he took a seat. "And then come sit down."

_And this is where it begins_, Donna thought as she followed the commands. 

Once seated in the chair, Josh began. "Donna, we need to talk about what happened Friday."

"We ate Chinese and drank beer."

"We also drank something else."

Donna tried desperately to think of a witty response, but she couldn't so she bit her lip and nodded in agreement.

Josh continued on. "This drinking of tequila led to badness, but I think it also led to some self-realization as well."

"It did."

"So, with that, I just want to say that I'm sorry." 

"What?" 

"I'm sorry." Josh ran a hand through his russet hair as he reiterated himself. 

"But…but it was my fault."

"No it wasn't. I chose to drink and I chose to do what I did. You didn't do anything but be there and let me take advantage of your friendship." 

She was still in shock. "I thought you were going to fire me. Or at least transfer me out of your office."

It was Josh's turn to look shocked. "Are you kidding? I know it's horrible what I did, but I think you've seen me worse than when I'm drunk. I just felt horrible that you had to put up with me when you're already going through some issues and I have too many to handle."

"That's all?"

Josh was lost. "Well…yeah. That and drinking all your liquor and undoubtedly making a mess of your apartment. Wasn't it clean when I got there?"

"Yeah…but I thought that you were talking about the other thing." She was now gestured broadly. 

"The…self-realization?" He asked mimicking her action. 

Donna silently nodded once more. 

"Well….yeah. I guess it's something that people have told me for years, but it took this incident to really open my eyes and make me see it."

Donna swallowed again as she bit her lip. This was more than she could have hoped for. She never would have allowed herself to believe that not only would Josh not fire her, but it would make him realize what she has known for quite some time.

"You would think that with people coming up to me and telling me this for so many years, that I would catch on, but it took an incident like this to make me finally face my demons."

Donna still bit her lip, but nodded eagerly with eyes that shone with encouragement.

"I'm ready to admit it to the world, Donna. I just ask for your patience and forgiveness."

"Yes, Josh." She was almost giddy as she replied.

He paused dramatically and cleared his throat. "I have a sensitive system." 

"Huh?" 

Josh's expression of contentment faded. "What do you mean with 'huh'?"

"_That _was you deep self-realization? I just thought…you know with what happened Friday and everything."

"That's just it," Josh said attempting to grasp onto her chain of thought. "I probably shouldn't have gone over there Friday. I had a lot on my mind and I shouldn't have subjected you to a… you know Me-Fest."

Donna was no longer a happy camper as she sat back and folded her arms across her chest. "Apparently we might be experiencing one now."

"Sorry." He was growing impatient. "I just mean…I went over there and got myself boozed up so I wouldn't have to think about my problems. And it took more liquor than Thursday, but still not all that much."

"Hey." She was offended by the thought since she had almost as much as him to impair her judgment.

"Yeah, well at least you _remember_ Friday night." Josh sighed. "I don't. Good God, if I wasn't with you I don't know if I'd even be alive. Donna, I don't remember anything past a sip or two of tequila." 

It took a moment for her to realize that he was waiting for a response. She sat there with her mouth agape for several seconds before she thought about how fate and irony would have it where he wouldn't remember. 

"Donna?"

She blinked and tried to compose herself. "I'm…I'm just shocked that it took you this long. That and that you said you are grateful to have been in my company."

A sheepish smile filled his face. "Yeah. Just tell me that I wasn't too much of a hassle."

An honest response would be _'Well, you were kinda annoying when you were impotent those few minutes and especially rude when you didn't get me off,' _but her actual response was, "You were a drunken version of yourself." 

"Good," he sighed. Then he looked at her. "So is everything okay and forgiven?"

"If you're willing to call it even then so am I."

"Great." 

Donna was relieved beyond compare, but there was also a great feeling of disappointment as she left Josh's office moments later and began to continue on with the rest of her day. Now that the dread was behind her, a part of her yearned to hear what Josh would really say if he knew what had happened between them. But as Josh had already said, he had a lot on his plate and she wasn't about to bring this to the table.

Some things were better left unsaid, even if this didn't feel like one of them.


	9. Chapter Eight

A/N: First of all, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone who took the time to review me. I already have received more reviews than I thought I would and I don't even think I'm halfway done.  (Haven't story mapped or outlined…Sorry Holly.)

Second on all I have to thank Holly. I don't know if I am getting better or you are just getting tired of it, but I did notice fewer corrections on this chapter.

Third and finally, I want to again extend my gratitude while also begging for your patience. I never thought that I would get this chapter done this quickly (though it really wasn't too fast), and I know that the next one will take me quite a while due to bloody classes and the fact that me and the infamous Holly I always thank are going to start a little WW/Buffy crossover. Don't worry. I like this story and plan on continuing it. It just might be as much as a couple weeks before you see another chapter again. Sorry. Really really sorry.

Have a good day!!

Kimmie

**Chapter Eight**

"Wrong."

"What do you mean 'wrong'?" Dawn stammered into the phone. "I-I was telling you my opinion."

"Yes. And though you are entitled to believe whatever you want, I am merely informing you that what you choose to believe is incorrect."

"Donna, my opinion isn't incorrect or wrong."

"Well, incorrect is the same as wrong and yes. It is both."

"I don't need to make friends. I have you and I have the people in my lab."

Donna sighed as she reclined back in her chair. She had a feeling that Josh's evening meeting with Representative Daniels would go late and decided that in her free time there was nothing better to do then to guilt a friend. "Those people in your lab were assigned to you. Those aren't friends; they're mandatory classmates who want you to provide them with answers. And as for me—you deserve better than me as your one and only friend."  
  


"They seem friendly," Dawn pouted as she flopped on the sofa. "When are you coming home and are you bringing dinner?"

"I don't know and sure. But I am still planning you a little party. It's been—" She glanced over at her calendar. "—almost two weeks since you moved in. It's Wednesday. I can plan a little thing for Friday night."

"A little thing?" 

"Yeah." Donna paused as she began to mentally consider the guest list. "I'll ask Sam and Josh. I don't think you've heard me talk about anybody more than the two of them."

"True."

"Then I have to introduce you to CJ. And Toby, of course. But Toby might have the twins this weekend. If he does or if he doesn't, I can ask his ex-wife Andy if she would like to come. Huck and Molly are just adorable. The way that Huck dribbles when he's hungry."

"I really hope that Huck and Molly are babies and not a really strange couple of friends you have."

"Yes." Donna giggled. "Oh…and maybe there is a chance that Margaret is available. Along with Bonnie and Ginger and Carol. Ohhh…and I can call Sam's office and see about Cathy. You know it's been forever since I've seen Cathy. You would like all of them." 

"Small?"

"And there is a slight chance that Zoey could come. She is here right now and she went to Georgetown. She could maybe give you a few pointers on what to do as a new student there."

"Zoey. As inZoey _Bartlet_? The daughter of _President Bartlet_?"

"Well her mother was a doctor and you want to be a doctor. Maybe she would come too."

"_The First Lady?!"_

Donna was laughing hysterically now. "I'm joking! I've met Zoey Bartlet a handful of times. She's sweet, but I doubt that she would come to my party. And I would never ask something so trivial of the First Lady of the United States."

"Ask what?" Josh said, appearing from nowhere and apparently done with his meeting. 

"I'm throwing a party for my roommate on Friday. She doesn't know anyone and has had a little trouble adjusting to Georgetown. She's shy and she doesn't want to do anything. I was teasing her by saying I was inviting Zoey and the First Lady."

"You know…" Josh was grinning. "I could get Zoey there if you want."

"He's joking, right?" Dawn asked pleadingly.

"I don't know." The blonde woman turned her attention to her boss. "Are you serious?"

"It most certainly could be arranged. Especially since her parents have became even more paranoid than they used to be. I think that they would trust your apartment."

"NO!" Dawn shrieked. "I thought _small_."

"I'll leave that up to you," Donna said with a smirk as she looked at Josh. "But whether or not she comes, you are."

"I am?"

"Was I not clear? Yes."

"What if I have plans?" 

She rolled her eyes as he pouted. "Then bring Amy too."

Playtime was over; Josh's eyes darkened. This past week had been intermingled with several attempts on his former's part to bring havoc to his job. "Not funny. I'll be there."

"Ask him if he's bringing tequila," Dawn joked.

"Not funny!" 

"I'll leave you two to quarrel." Josh was giving a cheeky grin as he went and grabbed his coat. He was really intrigued to know what set off Donna's blush. He picked up his backpack and headed down the corridor. "Night."

"Night." Donna started gathering her belongings. She then slapped herself on the forehead. "I forgot Charlie!" 

"Charlie?" 

"Yes! We can't have a party with him. Oh my God does he have some of the best dance skills that I have ever seen. And he's such a sweetheart. Of all things…" She mentally admonished herself. "Well, we can't forget Charlie."

"No. You said small and I swear I lost track after the first dozen. No party."

"Eleven. Then Zoey if she comes, which I doubt. So ha!"

"No."

"You know that the majority of these people won't be there. They never all show up. And even if they do… well it's not _that_ many."

"No, Donna."

"Yes, Dawnie. Besides, I know where you live."

"I might take a trip home to see how my sister is doing in NYC."

"You wouldn't."

"Try and stop me."

"Fine."

*~*~*

" I can't believe I agreed to this," Dawn said as she looked over the room one final time before following Donna to the door.

"Get over it. I swear, you and Josh whine like no other." As she made the statement she opened the front door and smiled warmly to their first arriving guest.

"Thanks." Josh was standing there with a deep frown across his face.

"Well it's true!" Donna professed as she opened the door wider.

"Glad to know that you've been saying good things about me."

"Well, I don't have any cats so I think we'll get along," Dawn offered.

"Donna! I can't believe you told her that."  
  


"Josh…you have no idea what all I have told her."

Josh's face grew pink, but he came inside and removed his coat. After tossing it to Donna who then tossed it on the sofa, he turned his attention to the brunette woman. "Josh," he said offering her his hand.

"Dawn." She followed his actions. "And don't worry. Donna has said good things about you too."

"Dawn!" It was now turn for Donna's features to flush.

Luckily the timing worked out to everyone's advantage and there was another knock at the door. "I'll get it," Donna said. "Dawn. Could you maybe check on the wine while Josh puts up his coat?"

"Talk about being hospitable," he grumbled as he went toward the sofa. 

"You know where Donna's room is right?" Dawn asked from the kitchen.

"Oh God," the blonde woman groaned as she made it to the door. She decided that everything would be best to ignore that conversation. She opened the door and was delighted to see the face that greeted her on the other side. "Well hello there Mr. Sexy-Man!"

"It's nice to see you, Gorgeous," Sam said leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "Sorry I had to come straight from the office. I didn't get a chance to dress down." He was now gesturing to his pinstripe suit.

"It's very becoming on you."

Josh had only been hearing one side of comments from the door so when he came out of the back room, he wore quite a perplexed expression. "I really hope that you are conversing with the pizza man and not with Toby or Leo."

"Do you think that she calls just any man sexy?" Sam said with a grin as he entered the room.

"Depends on how much she has to drink," Josh tossed out flippantly. 

The comment was enough to make both women go pale for a moment. Donna quickly regained her footing. "Sam, I want you to meet my roommate, Dawn."

"Hi," they said shyly to one another. 

Dawn stepped forward obligingly. "Would you two like a drink?"  
  


"Sure," Sam retorted. "Anything you bring will be fine."

"I'll go get it," Donna offered. "You three socialize and wait for CJ and Charlie. Toby was in the 'maybe' column."

"I actually heard that you might have another confirmed guest." Josh was now smirking.

"Nope. Margaret is working late and Bonnie and Ginger sadly had plans." She gave Dawn a look that said 'I told ya so' as she walked in the kitchen.

"Cathy apologized but she had a date tonight." He looked to Dawn. "She said that she looks forward to meeting you after all that Donna said about you."

A knock at the door then occurred. Dawn walked over to the door and opened it to a tall red-headed woman. "Hi."

"You must be Dawn. I'm CJ." They shook hands as she was allowed inside. 

"It's a party now," Josh cracked as he walked over and took the woman's coat. 

"It's a pleasure to get to meet you," Dawn said with a blush. "I've heard so much about you guys that it's nice to finally be able to meet you in person."

"Charlie was in the parking lot," CJ told Donna as she entered with the drinks. "He said that he was going to change and then head on up. Apparently the President was eager to give him the rest of the night off upon hearing the news that Charlie had plans."

"Oh," was Dawn's only response as she stood there feeling out of place.

"Sorry," Sam offered as he noticed her awkwardness. "I guess we take advantage of our jobs and don't always realize how important they sound."

"I can understand that."

"Yeah, trust me." Josh was already snickering at his comment. "Congressional Representative just sounds big in name. Hell, they handed it out to a dead man before passing it along to Sam."

"Thanks."

"H-He was dead?"

"Wilde died during the campaign and I told his widow I would run in his place if he happened to win. I learned to watch what I say after that."

"Oh." Dawn thought that it was adorable the way he poised himself. She also saw a bit of what Donna was attracted to in Josh's cocky demeanor. The hair was another issue.

Seconds later Charlie arrived and introductions were made and soon after they were all being seated at the table for dinner.

"I wasn't sure what to make so Dawn and I made hamburgers and you can all dress them how you want."

"Are they…?"

"I burnt yours, Josh. I swear I dropped it on the ground and it shattered."

"Excellent."

They all spent the majority of dinner chatting and getting to know one another. After that, it was decided that they would all venture out to get a drink at a local club. Quickly everyone was loosening up and getting more comfortable with Dawn's company.

After a few stories of how she never focused on politics in her family, everyone was cracking up. "Well would you consider yourself a liberal or a conservative?" Josh _would_ be the one to ask.

The two roommates had briefly discussed how serious the man took the issue. "Well, I guess I'm pretty conservative."

"You are?" Sam was interested in a spirited debate.

"Yes. I think that where I grew up strongly emphasized the role of small government while punishing all those who murdered innocent babies like liberals do."

"Whoa," several voices sounded.

Dawn then cracked a grin. "Just kidding. Donna scripted me. I would say that I come from a very liberal family."

As they chuckled in laughter, she added, "Hell, one of my best friends is a gay Jewish witch."

"Me too," Josh said before quickly realizing what he said. "Well…no. I'm just Jewish."

"Well she does want to come see the White House, so if you ever want to talk to a fellow Jew…ummm…just let me know."

"You are too cute," Sam said walking over to her. "Would you care to dance?"

"I guess he enjoys a good baby killer," CJ commented as the pair went toward the dance floor.

"Anyone else want to dance?" Charlie inquired.

"Sorry man." Josh walked over and placed a hand on his back. "I invited Zoey, but she had promised her parents that she would spend Friday night in."

"Could that have possibly been the reason why they were so eager to let him go?"

"Very possible," Donna agreed and she grabbed the young man's arm. "But you said dance and I have my dancin' shoes on, so let's go."

"Decisive little thing." CJ was looking on at the other pair as they went to join the first. She took another sip of her grasshopper. "What do ya say, my friend? Wanna dance?"  
  


"No." Josh was unable keep his gaze off a certain blonde woman as she went around the floor, seemingly overjoyed with her partner.  "I think I want another beer."

*~*~*

"You win," Dawn said as she came over to a sitting Donna. Since their first dance, the brunette couple had refused to sit down. "I am glad that you gave me the chance to meet all your friends."

"Good…and what was that first part again?"

Dawn gave her a curious look until she realized what she was implying. With an eye roll she reiterated, "You win. You were right. Donna knows best. That good enough?"  
  


"Put it in writing and we have a deal." She looked over at her watch as she rubbed her temple. "I think that I'm going to head out. CJ and Josh took off about ten minutes ago and I think I'm about ready to go hit the sack."

"It's only eleven thirty on a Friday night!"

"So? You can probably get a ride home with Sam or Charlie. Charlie's over there at the bar hitting on that girl that neither CJ nor I were certain was a girl. I still say it has to be a woman, but she thinks it's a man. Either way, nice legs."

Dawn pouted. "You should stay! Sam wanted to dance with you. He said that he was about to go swoop you off your feet."

"Tell him to swoop me later. Right now I want to go be swept right into my bed and go to sleep."

"Your loss."

"Just have one of them give you a ride home and call me if they can't."

Dawn nodded. "See ya later."

Donna wasn't concerned, but she knew that she normally didn't tire out this easily any night, especially a Friday. She had to blame the stress at work for the circumstance. Though she was leaving early, she was certain that Dawn was in good hands. Charlie and Sam were good men and she knew that both would be protective and responsible. In fact, she decided that only good could result from Dawn getting to know the two men better. 

She hoped.


	10. Chapter Nine

A/N: Sorry guys that it took so long. Silly college with silly grades. I am going out of town this weekend, but I hope to be working on Chapter Ten as I'm on the long bus ride to Washington D.C. ("We're goin' to Washinton!!!"…erm…sorry folks.)

Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed. As my best friend can tell you, I get ecstatic every time. Then…thank you to said friend who is also my editor. (Holly4...who is winding up her current Buffyverse fic _Harbingers of Beatrice_, but who also wrote _Sang__ et Ivoire_. Both excellent as well as all her other works.)

I hope that you guys enjoy and don't get too annoyed by the slow updates. Have a good day!!

Chapter Nine

Dawn had never felt more content as she lay snuggled up in the bed. In her sleepy sate she remembered the fun that she had last night: the friends she made, the dinner, the dancing, the spending half an hour talking with Charlie about how there was nothing to worry about at Georgetown, and the way that Sam seemed to get annoyed that she spent half an hour talking to Charlie. 

Yes. She was a happy girl. 

She wished she could feel like this all the time. She arched her body forward as she tried to stretch her muscles to alertness. That was when she felt it. Felt the gentle pulse of her pillow. Her pillow that wasn't a pillow at all, but the smooth skin of the man beneath her.

Her hand came up and felt the smooth chest and she was startled as the final memories of last night came flooding back. She regretted moving away the next instant when she saw the look on her bed-companion's face.

"Uhh…hi," Sam said sheepishly when he opened his eyes to see a mollified Dawn next to him.

"Hiya," she replied awkwardly with a cheesy wave as he pulled himself up in the bed. Neither one wanted to admit that they were checking each other out to remind themselves that it probably wasn't a dream.

"This isn't a dream is it?" Sam blurted out. 

It took Dawn a minute till she realized he had actually spoken. As her face grew to a deep crimson, she shook her head. "I-I don't think so. Well…my dreams aren't usually this awkward." 

"Mine either." He gave a nervous laugh before darting his eyes briefly away from her gaze to examine the rest of her covered yet inherently nude form. Ashamedly, not enough drinks to constitute him taking a near-perfect stranger to bed were consumed. "Dawnie? Well, do you prefer Dawn or Dawnie? I heard both and I know that sometimes-"

"Either one," She interrupted him with a shy smile. "D-Did you sleep well?" She didn't know how more awkward the conversation could get.

"When we got sleep." The instance the words were out, his face darkened and he hastily sat up next to her. "Umm…I think I should explain something." 

"You don't have to explain." Dawn was quick to swallow the tears that were forming in her throat. "You're a big politician and I'm just a college student." She chuckled humorously. "Good thing I'm not an intern."  

"That's not what I meant," he said softly resisting the urge to lean over and tuck a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. "Dawnie? I'm sorry if I took advantage of you last night. I don't know how much you had to drink, but I didn't have all that much. I guess when we came back up here, I didn't stop to consider that a couple of drinks to me could mean a complete smashing for you—" He paused when he saw the smile on her face. Then it dawned on him. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

She nodded. After a minute pause she answered his question. "No. I wasn't drunk last night. In actuality, I may have drunk less than you. You did seem to favor the wine at dinner if I noticed correctly."

"Merlot," Sam admitted with a cheeky grin and smile. "Always my favorite." 

"Chardonnay is always good." She stopped to shake her head. "But back to the point. As much as it almost embarrasses me…you didn't take advantage of me last night." A moment more passed between them. Dawn bit her lip and decided to ask the question that was on her mind. "What about the call girl?"

Sam nearly choked. "D-Does she tell everyone about that?" 

Dawn smiled. "Donna was giving me stories to get to know you all better. That was one. She also told me this one about how CJ gave you the nickname Shmutzy Pants for a while because…Yeah." 

He sighed. "Yes. Laurie was an exception."

"You don't think of me like a call girl, do you?" 

"_No_!" Sam's face was red with embarrassment and Dawn's was growing pinker by the moment with the insinuation.

She did not stop him by calling out his name. Instead she simply brought her single index finger to his lips. Dawn didn't know exactly what possessed her to do it, but she was sure that a deep need to touch him had something to do it.

"I think I tend to ramble," Sam replied with a boyish grin. 

"We both do." 

"Yeah. What I meant was…I didn't mean to take advantage of you."

"You didn't."

"Because there is nothing in the world that I would despise doing more than making you sleep with me against your will. Except maybe physics. I was never good at physics." 

"Sam?"

"Okay. Even more than physics." 

"Sam."

"You do know that I was joking, right?"

"Sam." A smirk bestowed her features as she nodded.

He hesitated a moment. "You said way back there that I didn't take advantage of you, right?"

"I think I might have said it from the start, but yes."

They both spent several minutes staring at one another with simple little smiles on their faces. Sam was the one to break the silence. "I have to leave tomorrow to go visit my district." Dawn nodded. "I just wanted you to know that I'm not going to try and avoid you."

"Who said I'd call you?" 

"Oh." 

"I-I mean I _want_ to call you, if you want me to call. I know that you are a powerful Representative and that it might not look good for your reputation to sleep with much younger women." She looked at him and nodded. "I am much younger, but legal. Very legal. I just know that you will want to be re-elected and Donna said that she counted on you running for President and with my family background…let's just say that there are a few questions that you don't want the press asking. Not that _I _did anything per se, but my sister has a record and where I lived, which by the way is in your district, is a little strange. Though I know Willow could-" 

Sam couldn't tell you exactly what made her more appealing than any woman he had ever seen. Maybe it was her smile. Or the way that she possessed impressing intelligence, but with no clue about how smart she was. The way that she seemed so unconfident though she had absolutely no reason not to take command of the room. Or the fact that she wanted him, but wouldn't say it because she was afraid he didn't want her back, or that his career would interfere. Or maybe it was the fact that she was naked in his bed. 

Or _maybe_ it was the fact that he leaned over and sealed their lips with a kiss. It was meant to be a short one that would only cease the current bout of ramblings, but it turned into a much more slow and sensual experience that left both breathless when they parted.

"Sam?" 

His panting matched her own. "I'm sorry…If you want…If you want, I can leave."

She sighed as she leaned to place her head upon his shoulder and catch her breath. "Sam, this is your place."  

"Yeah…" He looked around to verify for himself that she was correct. "Well, I can still leave if you want."

"No. But if you want me to-"

"Dawn. Let me state for the record that I find you incredibly attractive. Incredibly smart, incredibly kind-hearted and incredibly remarkable. I know that it sounds cheesy, but I want nothing more than to see you again."

"Really." She felt like she might cry for an altogether different reason now.

"Yes." They were both grinning like mad. "I would like to take you on another date…well, technically a first one first."

"Okay." She giggled and he leaned over to kiss her again.

She wouldn't be leaving for about three hours. 

*~*~*

Donna woke up content mid-way through Saturday morning. She was relieved to be finally receiving a day off that wasn't complicated with drunken ordeals and new roommates. She was infinitely glad that she now had her friends to help in making Dawn feel at home in Washington.

Speaking of Dawn, she couldn't remember her coming home the night before. That didn't necessarily mean that she wasn't present since Donna was thoroughly exhausted when she crawled into bed last night. Donna began to panic when she walked into her friend's room to find her bed was not slept in. 

"Dawn?" She called out in hopes that she was lurking about. When she knew that it wasn't the case, she went over to the phone and dialed Charlie's number.

"Hello?" The other line stated.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah…Donna?"

"Hi. Do you know what happened to Dawn last night after I left?"

"She and I talked for a while and when I left she was still dancing with Sam."

"Was he giving her a ride home?"

"Yeah. They were getting along just fine when I left."

"Really?" This question was more out of intrigue. She wouldn't have suspected it from either one…well since Dawn wasn't a call girl. 

"Yeah. And she said something about maybe forgetting her keys. Sam mentioned getting her a room for the night."

"Okay." She was smiling as she finger combed her hair. "I think I'll stop worrying then."

"Good." A pause. "One more thing."

"Yes, Charlie?"  
  


"If they _did_ get it on, will you let me know? It would just give me a little something to…well tease Sam with."

"Since you looked out for Dawn last night, sure thing."

As she hung up the phone, she knew that there were a couple of people who had some explaining to do. 


	11. Chapter Ten

A/N: Sorry that it's taken this long for the chapter to get out. Finals are approaching and therefore it means I have papers to write and tests to study for. Also my best friend and I had the honor to ride to Washington to participate in the March for Women's Lives. No words can explain how awesome that was for us.

On that note…I thank Holly once again. Not only for her pushing me into writing this and her kind editing, but also for the Q-Tip suggestion and for allowing me to use her statement 'dance to the tune of the funky monkey'. She says to be warned because she's out to copyright it.

Lastly, thank you to all who reviewed. I was afraid that you all would not care much for the Dawn/Sam line, but apparently I was wrong. Which is good 'cause they play a part throughout the rest of the fic. 

On that note…I hope you like it.

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**Chapter Ten**

Dawn felt unbelievably nervous as she adjusted the knee-length dress once more. Ever since that night with Sam Seaborn two weeks ago to the day, she couldn't concentrate on anything else. Yup. She had decided a week and six days ago that she was a smitten kitten.

And he was smitten too. Sam had called her nearly every day just to remind her that he was simply out of town and not trying to avoid her in any way, shape, or form. When he got back in town three days ago, he insisted that she skip one class in order to have a quick lunch with him. That was when he asked her out for their 'kinda sorta two week anniversary.'

And tonight was the night.

"How much longer are you going to be, Donna? He said that he'll be here in about twenty minutes."

"Sorry." Donna was overjoyed to see how the two had taken to each other. Dawn would talk of no one else and Donna could do nothing but smile when Sam called her at the office to chat about what he should know to impress Dawn the most.

_"I figure that she told you what happened," Sam sounded like a little boy as they spoke the first time and Donna had no doubt that he was looking to the ground._

_"Yes." Her tone did not sound friendly. "I am shocked in you, Sam. I took you for a better man than that. She's young and vulnerable and she hasn't had that many real relationships."_

_"I know, I know. Believe me**,** Donna**,** when I say that I don't intend on hurting her." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It sounds so…crazy, but I barely know her and I feel like I've known her forever. Or at least I want to."_

_Donna grinned. That was exactly what Dawn had said;  that she felt a connection that she had never felt with another man and she really wanted to give it a try. "Well, what are you going to do? She's younger than you and has some questionable family history."_

_"Deal with it." The defiant way he stated it with any hesitation was proof enough. Sam was in the game.  _

_"You two will be great for one another." She paused. "One thing though."_

_"Yeah."___

_"I promised to tell Charlie." She then began to giggle._

_"Is he going to mock me?" Giggling was her only response. "What do you know?"_

_She began laughing in earnest. Dawn and Charlie had decided that a call girl should be sent to his office if ever he broke up with her. Best yet was during a tight vote. She was just imagining Sam's future face though she knew that in reality she would never get to witness the event._

_"Donna?"_

_She kept laughing. Sadly, she knew that it wasn't  that funny._

_"Donna?" This was another voice. One right behind her. _

_She turned her head to see Josh staring down upon her with an amused expression. "Who is that?" _

_"Sam." She was trying her best to muffle her cackles. She turned her attentions back to the phone. "I'll call you back." She hung up without waiting for a response and then tried her best to cover up the snort she just released._

_Josh was snickering now. "Did you just snort?"_

_"No." She did again._

_"Donna?" Through his chuckles he asked, "Are you okay?"_

_"Probably not."___

"Donna!"

"Sorry," She reiterated. Donna was standing there while she peered down at the toilet, wondering what she wanted to do—leave the room or throw up. Both sounded appealing.  She opted for the former.

"Thank you." Dawn's tone was snippy but she quickly saw the paleness on Donna's face. "W-Wait. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said as she narrowed her gaze and headed toward the sofa. "Hurry up. You have a date in fifteen minutes."

Dawn didn't move. "Are you sure? I've let it go, but you have been acting a little iffy the past couple weeks."

"Blind jealousy. I'm actually in love with Sam and it hurts me that you two are so close. In fact, I call him during the day and try to persuade him to run away with me and buy me a place in Hawaii."  

"Ha." Dawn rolled her eyes. "Seriously…and I know it's not that. Besides Sam telling me about calling you at work to gossip about me, you are like the president of the 'I Love Josh Network'." 

Donna's face darkened at the statement, and Dawn wisely chose to let it go. "We're just going out to dinner. Maybe a movie." She made her way to the bathroom to finish applying her make-up. "You want me to pick you up anything on the way home?"  
  


"Naw," the blonde woman teased as she made her way to the sofa. "That way if you want to keep my secret lover into the long hours of the night, you don't feel any reservations."

Dawn stuck her face out the door briefly. "We have no plans for hanky panky. Just dinner, maybe a movie and a little bit of hanky in the car when he says goodnight."

"Okay." Donna expected she would be sleeping alone again.

*~*~*

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Sam escorted Dawn toward the car by the small of her back.

"Well, it would have been nice to know that we were watching an Olsen twins movie before we paid." She wrinkled her nose. "I might be young, Sam, but not _that_ young." –  

He rolled his eyes. "Okay…you pick the next one." He then got a mischievous smirk. "Though I have to say that they are growing up rather nicely from their _Full House_ days."

She was shocked, but not too much to turn and slap his shoulder. "You like _Full House? _Well with statements like that the television show is the closest you're going to get." 

"Sorry." He looked half sincere, but it was good enough. He opened the car door for her before getting in the other side.

Then several minutes passed.

"C-Can I tell you something?" Dawn asked in the midst of a pointless conversation of the entertainment of folk music. 

"Yeah." He cast her a weary glance as he drove toward her apartment.

"I'm worried about Donna."

"She does seem to be a little strange. She broke out into hysterical laughter when I asked if Charlie was going to mock—" He looked at her wide eyed. "Yeah."

Dawn snickered. "We're sending a call girl to the Hill for you if you break up with me." She grew wide eyed like her date. "That's if we…ever…start dating."   
  


He smiled softly. "I consider that we are, too."

"Good," she said with a bounce. Her countenance, though, immediately changed as she thought back to the topic. "Donna has been…moody, to say the least. And she's always feeling bad and she's always running to the bathroom."

"Dawn."

"TMI, I know, but back to what I'm getting at." She sighed. "Pull over."

He gave her a look, but fulfilled her request all the same.

"Donna**, **a few weeks back…well she and a guy got a little tipsy. And in the course of the tipsyness, they got…they did the dance to the tune of the funky monkey." She looked at him. "Do you follow?" 

"Dance to the tune of the—"

"Sam!"

"Yes!" He sighed. "So you think Donna is pregnant, right?"

She nodded her head. "That or she's really really sick."

"Who's the guy? Do you know?"

"It happened the night before I moved in."

Sam tried to figure how long ago that had to be. At least a month. Then it hit him. Hard.

"Yeah."

"No," he looked at her. "No no no no no." 

She swallowed hard. 

"H-He didn't say _anything_ about this!"

"Because he doesn't remember _anything_ about this."

"Why? _Why_ would she not tell him?"  
  


"It's embarrassing, Sam. Think about the awkwardness that took place when we both remembered _our_ indiscretion.  Imagine saying 'Last night was great for me, let me tell you what we did so you can look at me in horror because I obviously was less intoxicated than you because I remember it and it will ruin your life and my career and end our friendship because you're my best friend'."

"Wow…you two have talked a lot."

She muttered. "After getting wind of this conversation we probably won't anymore."

"So…Josh and Donna…did the dance to the tune of the funky monkey. And now she might be…oh God!"

"Yeah."

"Holy fuck!"

All Dawn could do was sigh and lay her head upon his shoulder.

"This is like a really bad soap opera plot. Guy and girl in love for years but torn by their dedication to a higher cause. Then one fateful night their defenses break. Then he doesn't remember and she doesn't have the heart to tell him until… a _baby_."

"It's one of those cheesy romance books you set back on the shelf after reading the cover." 

"I know this will sound bad, but what if she has an illness?"

Dawn didn't know if he was trying to be funny or not.

"Okay." He sighed. "Not funny…but entirely possible." 

"We are just going to have to find out."

Sam looked at her. "When you say we, you really mean—"

"You and I."

*~*~*

"Are you sure that I should be here?" Sam whispered as they walked through Dawn's front door. "I mean…I'm not even supposed to know there's a possibility of her being pregnant and certainly not with…" He trailed off shaking his head. In some ways this was too good to be true and others it was a nightmare.  
  
Sam knew that Josh and Donna loved each other. Hell, everybody knew that. He also understood that they played that if they ignored it, everything would go away.   
  
That and they were scared. Their's wasn't a love that stemmed out of lust. It was a love that stemmed out of friendship, devotion and a deep loyalty to one another. That was the most powerful in Sam's mind and from what he'd seen, it seemed a bit scary.  
  
"I think she's in the bathroom," Dawn said taking his hand and leading him further into the front.  
  
Sam went along until they entered the hallway, then he stopped. "What are we doing?" He asked once more using a normal decibel. "I mean, do we think that if we just sneak up on her that we can scare her into a test?"  
  
Dawn pursed her lips. "Ya know…I think you might be on to something." She heard Donna on the other side of the bathroom door and knocked.

"It sounds horrible, but what if she's really ill?"

Dawn's eyes darkened. "If you want to leave, you can just say so."

"I'm here," he replied gently. "Knock again. I don't think she heard you."

This time when she knocked, both heard the sob from inside. "Donna?" Thanks to Sam, Dawn's imagination was in overdrive.

The door flew open and there was no doubt that Donna was in hysterics. She clutched something tightly in her palm while she fought to dry her tears and calm down.

As another strangled cry hit the air all could see she was unsuccessful.

"Donna?" Sam softly made his presence known.

"I-I can't do this anymore. Why? Why me?!"

The couple looked at one another and then saw the thinnest white stick poking out from her grasp. "It's okay Donna." Dawn took a step inside and placed her arms around the woman. "We're here for you."

Donna tossed the item on the bathroom floor as she hugged Dawn and then followed her into the front room. Sam trailed behind and yearned to see confirmation of her despair. He felt that as their best friend, he had a right to see it with his own eyes. So he looked down at the floor.

And blinked.

Twice. Then it hit him.

It was a cotton swab. A bent, but apparently unused cotton swab. In confusion, he reached down and picked it up. Upon close examination he saw that it was nothing more than broken. It was still intact, but flimsy in the middle.

Sam stared at it for several moments before he banged his head against the door frame three times. Something had to be done.

He walked out to hear Dawn trying her best to sooth the blonde woman with promises that her and Sam will take care of her and they can get a bigger apartment and everything.

"Are you and Sam moving in together?" Donna sniffled in confusion.

Sam walked over to Dawn and placed the cotton swab on the table. "This is what she was crying about."

Dawn looked at it for a moment. Then paused. "A Q-Tip was what caused you to cry?"

The sobs came forth once more. "It-It's the last one in the house. I went to go clean my ears and…it was _broken_!"

The couple stared at one another unable to form an adequate response. 

"And then…" She dramatically sighed. "Then I realized I had to go to the store to get another box." Sniffle. "But…I didn't want to go out until I cleaned my ears." 

"If she's ill then she's mental," Sam muttered. Dawn gave him an unadulterated whack on the shoulder.

"Donna." Dawn was trying her best to sound sweet but not condescending. She didn't want to talk down to her.

Dawn and Sam then spent the next half an hour explaining what they believed to be the case for her recent instability in mood and health.

"You think that I might be pregnant." There were neither tears nor anger behind the statement. Simply shock. 

"Well, you _did_ dance to the tune of the funky monkey." Sam just loved the way that one sounded. He wasn't about to let her live that one down. 

"Sam." Her tone was low, but there was amusement behind Dawn's eyes.

"That or you're terminally ill."

"Goodnight, Sam." There was no amusement on her face that time.

As Sam left, the girls decided on a time for Donna to schedule an appointment. 

Donna knew that her mind wouldn't be at ease until she knew the answer. 

_Am I really pregnant?_


	12. Chapter Eleven

A/N: Thank you guys for putting up with my erratic posting habits again. Thank you to all who reviewed and were kind to me about the story and my trip. This is my last day of college! (Until fall, at least.)

Hehehe…thank you Holly.

Also thank you to all who continue to read this or at least happen upon it on day and give it a once over. I know I was goofy in the way that I ended the chapter, but I'm a dork who likes to build the suspense. Anyway…I hope you enjoy!!!

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**Chapter Eleven**

_"You come on with a come on, you don't fight fair." _Donna turned up the volume as she turned another block away from the office. She felt that this was the only way to calm her soul as she made toward the doctor's appointment that could potentially change her life. _"But that's okay, see if I care! Knock me down, it's all in vain."_

She didn't hear her phone start to ring. _"I'll get right back on my feet again! Hit me with your best shot!"_

She saw the flashing a reached over to see who was calling while belting out the tune all the same. _"Why don't you hit me with your best shot!" _Josh. She realized he probably hadn't heard her say that she would be leaving for lunch._  
  
_

_"Hit me with your best shot!" _She answered.

"Donna?" Josh knew it was her and from the sounds of it she was traveling with Pat Benatar.

_"Fire away!" _After those notes, she felt it best to reach over and turn off the radio. "Yeah." 

Josh had to grin. "You were dancing weren't you?"

"I'm in the car."

"You were sashaying all the same. I could tell the way you were singing. There was some dancing going on just now."

"Remember I said that I was going out for lunch."

Josh didn't remember and that was the main reason he called. "Date?" He couldn't help it. He had to sabotage them all he could.

"Wouldn't you like that?" She noticed the trend she just couldn't explain the cause. "I have an appointment."

"With whom?"

"Dr. Young."

"For a date?"

She sighed. "No. Think about why one would have an appointment with one titled doctor."

He paused. "Why do you have a doctor's appointment?"

_Cause__ I might be pregnant, Josh. And if so, you'll be the father. But Sam likes to comment that I might just have a terminal disease. Either way, it's not good. _"Check-up." She switched lanes while juggling the phone. "Dawn and I were talking and it had been a while."

This answer was enough to sate his curiosity. "When will you be back?"

She shrugged momentarily forgetting he could not see her.

He sensed her movements on he other side of the phone. "Do you have any cash?"

Another sigh escaped her lips. "You want lunch?"

"I have a meeting now and I'd pay you back if you run by that deli on your way in."

"Luckily for you mister it happens to be on the way." Donna glanced at her watch. "You have the thing now with that Pentagon guy."

"Yeah." Josh didn't know what to say. "Good luck." He opted for lame.

"Thanks." As she hung up, she considered the fact that she really didn't know what she wanted. "Well…no terminal illness."

Donna summoned up all her inner strength when she heard her name called by the receptionist. She knew that it would be the only way for her to get through the next few moments.  
  
"Donna?" Dr. Young said when she came in the examining room. "Dr. Phillips conveys her regrets for being unable to see you today. She said that she would be back next week but apparently you didn't want to wait that long."  
  
She nodded her head.  
  
"Well then," The doctor said as she sat down on a stool and adjusted her skirt. "What brings you here today?"  
  
Donna thought about throwing out the check-up excuse that she just gave to Josh, but realized that she should be honest with the woman who would more than likely take a look at all her outer parts. "I think I might be pregnant."  
  
The doctor showed no reaction. "And what makes you believe that?"  
  
From anyone else Donna might be a little annoyed, but this woman spoke with a warm smile that helped her let down her defenses. "Well…I'm late. It's happened a few times before so I wasn't too worried. But also I've been moody and I guess having morning sickness. I've been nauseous and getting sick quite often."  
  
Dr. Young nodded. "Anything else?"  
  
"Well, frequent urination and a strong desire for nachos."  
  
Now the doctor's smile went to a chuckle. "I see. I uses you read the report as well that nachos is the food most craved by American women today?"  
  
Donna nodded and smiled. "Though they do sound kinda good right now."  
  
"Don't they always?" Dr. Young stood up. "Well, I don't think I have to ask, but have you been sexually intimate recently?"  
  
"Yes." She looked down. "Neither one of us were using any protection."  
  
"How long ago?"  
  
"About a month and a week."  
  
Young nodded to herself. "Okay. Though pregnancy sounds quite reasonable, we need to go ahead and do a full exam. I will get a nurse in here to get some blood work and we will run it to the lab and then perform an examination."  
  
"Are you a general practitioner?"  
  
"Lucky for you…" Dr. Young smiled. "Or maybe not, I happen to be a obstetrician/gynecologist. So you get to two visits for the price of one."

Donna was slightly relieved after she left the doctor's office. She was comforted to know that she didn't have to make another visit to a doctor. She felt that she got a lucky break. But then she was a bit worried about what the results might bring.  
  
She left a message on the apartment phone that she would find out the results that night since Dr. Young was going to hound the people down in the lab for her. She then looked down at her cell to see that Josh had left her a couple messages and listened.  
  
With a groan once they were finished, she dialed his number.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Josh lamented a thankful sigh. "There's a thing with a General Howard."  
  
"Who's General Howard?"  
  
"A four star general that retired this year that we for go to honor at the recognition banquet. He served in Korea and Vietnam."  
  
_"What can you do with a general when he stops being a general?"_ All in all she was pleased. Dr. Young declared her STD free. _"Oh, what can you do with a general who retires?"  
_  
"Ha ha." Josh rolled his eyes. "Are you getting back here to help clean this up?"  
  
_"The next day someone hollers when he comes into view, "Here comes the general" and they all say "General who?""  
_  
"You're really on a little musical spree. All went well at the doctor?"  
  
"They're delighted that he came but they can't recall his name."  
  
"Donna." "Shut up if you want lunch." She was determined to finish. _"Nobody thinks of assigning him when they stop wining and dining him."  
_  
"I guess the doctor went well."  
  
_"It seems this country never has enjoyed so many one and two and three and four star generals. Unemployed."_ She dramatically paused to conclude the end of her number. "Yeah. I get the test results tonight."  
  
"Just a check-up?"  
  
"Turkey or chicken?"  
  
"Turkey."  
  
"See ya in a bit." She was even more satisfied knowing that she didn't have to lie twice. 

Donna was able to keep busy for the rest of the day with little annoyances about generals and the like. Luckily, Josh wanted to get out of the office and go watch a basketball game so she was able to get out of the office at a normal hour. That was when trouble began.

Being without work meant that Donna was now forced to think about…well everything.

Once she got home she didn't have to spend too much time with herself since Dawn came home with a Sam in tow. "I didn't know if you wanted me here," he admitted sheepishly. "If you want me to go I can." He stared down at one of the bags of food he carried in. "I just might take some of that with me."

"Heaven forbid!" Donna teased with a smile. Her tone then became serious once again. "Stay. And thank you, Sam."

"Drinks?" Dawn asked as she headed to the kitchen. "I know Sam wants a beer." She paused. "No alcohol for you until we know for sure."

"Water."

They ate the Italian food in silence while occasionally listening to what CNN was reporting. After dinner they all congregated on the sofa and stared at the phone in hopes of a response.

Then it came.

Donna leaped across the room before the first ring could finish and breathlessly answered.

"I am looking for a Miss Donna Moss."

"This is she." Her gasps were slowly dissipating.

"Hi. My name is Corey Lane and I'm calling on behalf of the _New York Times_. Have you thought about a subscription to the largest paper in the United States?"

"No."

He could sense her lack of interest, but he wouldn't go away. "Well, ma'am. Where do you currently get your news?"

"Mostly from the Communications office, but sometimes I get it from the NSA. When I don't get it there the Deputy Chief of Staff usually fills me in on what's released to the public. I'll look somewhere else for the comics though." With that she hung up.

Sam and Dawn gave her a look, but asked no questions.

Then another ring.

Donna took a deep breath before answering this time. "Hello, Donnatella Moss."

"Miss Moss."

It was Dr. Young herself. Donna couldn't breathe. "I have your test results here with me."

When she hung up the phone she was in a state of shock. She stared off in disbelief and stayed there until Dawn pulled her back. "Donna?" She hesitated. "W-What did they say?"

Donna couldn't speak-couldn't even walk. Sam was at her side in moments and carried her to the couch. "Donna?"

Sobs were her only response. In her mind, Donna wasn't sure if her tears were of happiness or grief.


	13. Chapter Twelve

A/N: The hardest part about writing this story is the fact that I really don't know where I'm going. I know the end (for the most part), but the path to getting there is quite rocky.

Thanks to Holly I made a few index cards on various scenes that I want to include. This chapter was not one of them.

I thank everyone who has been reading and reviewing this. Hehehehe…it's so much fun and honestly I think that is one of the main reasons that I haven't stopped. (I love the story, but I never have had much dedication to finish my own work.) Thank you for that and thank you for tolerating my really slow updating schedule. I will **_try_** to be faster on my next one. crosses fingers

Thank you and I hope that you enjoy.

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Chapter Twelve

She had tried for hours to shut her mind off and get some sleep, but her attempts were in vain. There was no possible way she could sleep with the knowledge she possessed.

Donna honestly didn't know if she could ever sleep again.

Now she realized the exhaustion was making her a bit dramatic, but it was the thought that counted.

With a sign, she let her lids drift close once more knowing that it would do little use.

"I'm pregnant." Her quiet whisper was enough to describe her feelings.

She knew she had to say it. The only other time she had spoken the words was once her sobs had subsided and she was able to speak to Sam and Dawn. After that she dashed off to her room and made it clear that she wanted to hear nothing of their offered comfort.

Donna would face this alone.

Because she knew that she couldn't tell Josh.

That was her first decision. It was not one stemmed out of embarrassment or shame. No, though she felt it, that was not enough for her come to that conclusion and certainly not enough cause for her to come to it so soon.

The real cause was that she loved Josh too much. With another sigh she realized that practically no one would understand. Understand that her refusal to tell him wasn't out of selfishness, but out of selflessness. She simply couldn't expose him to the vulnerability. _Wouldn't._

Josh's career was the most important thing in life-aside from his mother. She-and she was almost certain Josh himself-had thought and decided that a relationship between the two of them would hurt his current job and his credibility for future ones. Also, he needed to keep his head in the game and was most likely why he had always chosen women like Amy to serve as 'stepping stones'.

She would never be an Amy or Mandy. She learned that long, _long_ ago.

Besides that she knew that Josh couldn't handle a baby. There was a possibility that she was not giving the man enough credit-she knew that he could handle more than what anyone else knew-but she also knew that Josh needed to focus on what he was doing now and that a baby would more than likely drive him out of his mind.

She giggled softly as she thought about how Joshua Lyman would handle a baby. She could see the little child-regardless of the gender- decked out in a little Mets uniform that he would spend a fortune on just so he could get the child enrolled in baseball camp. He would send the child to an all-Democrat school and never once let them look at an elephant when they went to the zoo.

But she knew that he would try his damndest to be there for them. To the point that he would give up the career that he had worked a lifetime to secure.

And she refused to do that.

Then there were the issues that she had to deal with concerning herself- what she was going to do with the baby, whether she would continue to work at the White House, whether she even wanted to _have_ the baby.

Abortion. She had talked about it many times and had worked with Josh many a late night on provisions for various bills. Donna knew that they were both pro-choice, but she had never seriously thought about using it in her own personal case. Now it was an option that she needed to consider.

She wanted to cry again. She wanted to let her defenses down and sob until there weren't any tears left for her to shed, but she knew that it would do little good. Then she decided that she wanted to eat.

She got out of bed and changed out of her work clothes. She went to one of her drawers and pulled out a plain white t-shirt. The same one that Josh had worn the night he came over-the night they made a child. She lips curled in a thin smile as she thought of how damn difficult he was then. "I didn't get off," she muttered as she pulled the cotton tee over her head. She then slipped on a pair of shorts and went straight toward the kitchen.

Dawn must had been waiting for her to show any sign of life, Donna predicted, because not moments after the blonde had ventured from her room, the other woman had emerged from her own to join her by the refrigerator.

"Want me to make you something?"

Donna shook her head as she opened the door. "I think I'm just a little thirsty."

"I can make you a glass of warm milk."

She seemed to ponder the suggestion, then turned to face Dawn skeptically. "Have you ever _had_ a glass of warm milk?" When the woman shook her head, she continued. "I don't know, but the idea of warm milk just sounds gross. My mom would always offer to make me a glass of warm milk, but I never thought that it sounded good. I would take it cold and she would think that I was just impatient, but I wasn't. I just thought that 'warm milk' sounded like 'almost spoiled milk'."

Dawn simply gave her a puzzled look.

"Sorry." She reached for a bottle of water. "I guess my mind just likes the idea of trivial matters."

"I don't want to pry so I'll just say that we can make it work. It'll be quite a squeeze, but I know that we can make it work."

She didn't know how to say this. "I don't know if we'll have to."

"Are you going to move out?" Then it hit her. "Oh."

"I haven't decided yet." Donna unscrewed the cap and took a sip of her drink. "I'm going to wait a couple days before I do anything."

Dawn didn't know what to say about that. It sounded smart, it sounded responsible and she knew that it was the best thing to do. None of her other friends would have gotten past stage one. With that, she offered a weak smile. "You know that no matter what I'll be here for you."

She returned the gesture. "I know, and that really means a lot. I know I have you and I have Sam."

"Yup."

She placed the top back on the water and carried with her as she ventured back to her room. "I better get some sleep. I still have work in the morning."

"Sweet dreams."

"Night." But once she curled up in her bed, her mind allowed her little opportunity to dream at all.

Donna felt as rough as she did the day after cramming an all-nighter when she had a big paper or final due. She knew that there were several aspects that played a part, but that didn't make her feel any better as she walked into her part of the bull pen at 7:30.

She made her usual greetings as she made her way around in her routine and then decided that she had to speak with the man in charge once he walked through the door.

And as if right on key. "Mornin', Donna."

"Josh," she greeted with a smile as she sipped her coffee. She then realized that a pregnant women couldn't have caffeine.

"Donna?" Her expression startled him.

"Here," she said handing him her coffee.

"What's wrong with it?" He sniffed it for good measure.

"Nothing…I just thought that you might like some coffee this morning with all the trouble that's going down. You have a meeting with Leo first thing and so…yeah. Coffee."

He stood there in shock. "A-Are you okay? Did the doctor say something really bad?"

"I'm not dying, if that's what you're asking. Neither are you. I just…need to cut back on my caffeine consumption."

Josh nodded. That made sense to him. It probably wasn't good to go around drinking caffeine all the time. But Josh really couldn't remember her actually drinking all that much in the first place. "Oh well. Thanks."

"No problem. Now let's get to work." She would save sorting through her problems until after the day was over.

Donna was wrong.

"Donna," Josh said coming up behind her around six-thirty. "Sorry, but this one is going to go late again."

She nodded. "When is he supposed to be here?"

"His office called and said that he just left the Hill. Toby and I are going to take it and I'd like for you to run to get some Chinese food."

"You, Toby and Henderson?"

"Yeah." He looked at her and gave a small smile. "Don't forget that you have to eat, too."

Her response was a snicker. "Trust me, I won't."

"Get us some food and then I'll see if I still need you after that. Okay?"

"See you in a bit, boss."

From there she drove to the restaurant and realized that she should probably have called the order in beforehand. After taking a guess at to what the congressman might like, she ordered the food and sat down to wait.

Her mind tried to focus on fortune cookies and egg rolls, but within minutes she was drifting to more serious matters. Ones that dealt quite a bit with a certain curly haired man.

She couldn't do it to him. She loved him too much to make him half to sacrifice his career due to a silly one night stand. _That he doesn't even remember._ Donna would also secretly confess that she had personal motives as well. She was scared. Scared about having a baby, scared about raising a baby, scared about what would happen to her career and scared about what would happen to her relationships. She just didn't think it would be worth it.

She sighed as she twisted her purse strap between her fingers. This was just more than she could handle. The medical expenses alone was a good enough excuse. Then there was the other supplies that would be needed and the fact that she would have to take off from work to the point that Josh would have to probably hire someone to take over her position. And all of that was on the condition that he would never find out.

Donna groaned. With Sam and Dawn in the know, Josh would find out. She loved her two friends to death, but she knew that they both were not known for secrecy. She could imagine Sam getting sloshed with Josh on a Friday night and the information easily slipping off his tongue before anything else could be done. From there, Josh would no doubt fire her and deny the whole thing. And she couldn't risk that.

A noise startled her from her thoughts and Donna thought it best to return to the reality around her. As she glanced up she saw a woman waiting in line to give her order. In front of her was a baby stroller and in her arms rested the little child. The noise was the mother trying her best to invoke a giggle out of the baby. Donna was captivated-the pants suit, the blonde hair and the same alabaster skin made her think about how that could be her.

"I'm gonna getcha," the mother teased as she reached over and tickled the baby's tummy with a hand. She was rewarded with a loud cackle.

Before she realized what her body was doing, she was out of her seat and walking toward the woman. A part of her was feeling inwardly drawn to the sight of a mother and child. But she quickly gathered her bearings and decided she was acting crazy. One does not go up to strangers and certainly not in the middle of Washington D.C. When she turned to head back to her chair she noted that a rather large and hairy man had taken her place and she was not about to argue.

The mother caught Donna's gaze. "There's something about babies, I know."

Donna smiled shyly and took another step forward. "Yeah. Boy or girl?"

"Girl." The mother pointed to the pink diaper bag. "I like the color blue, but I thought that pink might help in identification."

Now Donna grinned outright. "Understandable. Most people say they all look the same when they're little. How old is she?"

"Just under six months." The woman cast another glance at her squirming bundle. "She's my little pride and joy."

Donna didn't want to bother the woman and was very hesitant to take another step, but she felt drawn in by an invisible field. She needed to know more about what this would really be like. "Is it hard?"

"Taking care of her?" Donna nodded. "Yeah, it can be. I work at the municipal court downtown. My husband and I are separated currently, so that means that I do most of the grunt work." She chuckled. "I found a good daycare and the nights like these that I work late I either bring her with me or take her to my mother's."

"Take her with you?"

"Sometimes…well rarely she's quiet enough that I can take her up there and cause no trouble. Most of the people simply want to hold her and play with her. I know that it won't last long so I try to milk it while I can."

Both women smiled at each other. Donna didn't know why, but she felt that she must confess for her curiosity. "I…Well, I just found out that I'm pregnant."

The woman beamed. "I understand. It's scary."

Donna could do nothing but nod her head.

"Father in the picture?" Donna shook her head. "And looks from the dress that you have a decent job." Donna nodded once again. "You have to decide what's best for you. I won't stand here and pretend to give you advice."

"Ma'am, may I take your order." Both had failed to realize that it was her turn at the counter.

"Yes, excuse me," she sad to the man behind the counter. She then turned to Donna. "I hate to be a bother and I hope you don't snatch her, but could you hold her just a minute?"

"Of course," Donna retorted as she lifted the bundle into her own arms. As she stared down at the glowing little girl she couldn't help but let her spirits soar. She was adorable with her little puff of brown hair and her little cow eyes.

The moment passed faster than Donna was prepared for and she didn't notice the mother staring at her. She kept her gaze focused on the little life that she held and let her mind remind her that in just a few months from now this could be what her baby looked like. _Her baby._

"Her name's Aubrey. Mine's Rachel," the mother confessed.

"Donna," she said slowly as she looked to the mother once more. "I'm sorry. Do you want her back?"

Rachel chuckled. "Just return her before you leave. The girl loves to be held so I don't really mind a little break."

"Order two-twelve!" The man behind the counter called.

"Oh, that's me," Donna said, quickly handing the child back to her parent. She then went over and grabbed the bags of food. As she walked toward the door she went to Rachel and Aubrey once more. "Thank you."

Rachel felt she understood. "You're welcome."

Donna walked out and went straight to the car. As soon as she deposited the food in the passenger seat and her in the driver's side, she took a moment to collect herself. "How could I even think of giving that up?" she berated herself as she put a hand on her stomach. She made up her mind then and there.

She was going to be a mommy.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

A/N: Everybody is so sweet. Thank you for the reviews. And a special thanks to those of you who review me regularly. I know who you are and I would mail you presents if only I knew your addresses.

Thanks to Holly…I would never post anything without you. And I probably would have done a lot worse in my first year of college.

Thank you again to everyone for your patience. I have been assured that the pace is not too slow, but I hope that none of you are getting bored with this yet. I assure you that this is nowhere near over yet…I think…and that there are a few more plot twists before its done. That being said, I now need to figure out what to do with my next chapter.

I hope you enjoy!!!

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**Chapter Thirteen**

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As soon as he walked through the door, he threw himself down on the sofa. Things had been so hectic lately and it really showed no signs of stopping.

Not that Josh was complaining…well, yes he was. He didn't have to deal with Amy anymore, but he realized that he missed a romantic relationship that would help distract him from other things. Mainly the office.

As of late he would get up and go to work, work, come home from work and do work, go to bed and think about work until he fell asleep where he would dream about work. Repeat daily.

With a sigh he turned on CSPAN. The vote was Thursday. He felt confident, but this was only Tuesday. A lot can go wrong in that length of time, as it had in the past. At the moment, he felt he had a lock on the vote, but all the time congressmen were coming up with riders and he knew that within the next couple of days that the amount would triple. He didn't mind-Hell, he expected it. He just wanted to make damn sure that come the time they reach the end he was the one holding the trophy.

But aside from work, he had other matters on his mind. He would admit that he found his mind trailing to the proverbial gutter more and more and figured that a good romp in the sack would ease a little tension. A small part of him wished that he had waited to break off with Amy for that reason alone.

That and she was making his life a living hell. Most of the bogus amendments being placed on the bill were due to her conniving efforts. Half were out of spite and the others out of her true beliefs. All Josh knew was that if he was still dating her, he would be happy on many levels.

Then there was another issue that was on his mind that he knew a woman could help him cure-Donna. He was worried about her. The past few days-more like weeks, he thought to himself-she had not been acting like Donnatella. She had been tired and moody, not to mention distant with him. The coffee sent off red flags, but he really didn't know what to do about it. When he questioned her doctor's visit, she made it clear that there was nothing for him to be concerned about. So he tried to do just that.

But it was hopeless. Ever since his mind trailed to her right after he broke up with Amy, he noticed that she kept making her way into his thoughts all the time. It was frightening. Donna was his secretary. And his friend. She was the person who knew him better than he knew himself. It was uncanny how she could practically read his thoughts or find items in his apartment over the phone.

There was no way he would mess that up by bringing romance into the picture. No way.

* * *

"Please," Dawn begged into the phone. "I wanna, I wanna."

"Geez, Dawnie. You're killing me here," Sam said with a grin as he laid back in his chair.

"I want to," she pouted again. "And if you're too busy then why can't Donna take me?"

"Can we wait until after the vote? Believe it or not, I have just a little more to do than press a button."

"Donna says that the night before the vote should be fun. But…if not then, how 'bout Thursday?"

"Right after the vote?"

"C'mon! If you guys win then you can be there celebrating and if you guys lose…then you can be there sulking."

"It's a good thing that this is one of those issues that I _am _agreeing with the White House on."

"I know," she said with an eye-roll. "You don't have to give me another speech about the merits of disaster relief. Trust me."

Sam winced. He didn't know how many times in the past few days he had used his girlfriend as a test dummy for particular statements. She was always sweet and understanding about it, but he finally realized that she was most likely annoyed with the sound of his voice. "Sorry."

She sighed. "No…that's not what I meant." A pause. "Well, that was _kinda_ what I meant."

"Okay. You win. Thursday night I will take you on a White House tour. Win or lose."

"Yay!" she whooped as she jumped off her bed to do a victory dance. Dawn would be the first to admit that she was a dork. She was excited and looking forward to making a couple of her childhood friends bitterly jealous by getting not only a tour, but a behind the scenes look with one of Bartlet's senior staff members.

"You know hon, I'm not really a member of the administration anymore. I gave that up when I became the Representative for the California 47th."

"Psh," she replied with a flip of the hand. "They still think of you like that and so can I. Eat your heart out, Willow!"

"I have to say that this should be interesting."

* * *

_"I'm so excited."_

"Stop."

_"And I just can't hide it."_

"I mean it," Donna stated as she looked over a file.

_"I know, I know, I know I want to. I want to."_

The blonde women's eyes narrowed further. "You _do_ remember that I work here, right?"

"Sorry." Dawn focused on her hands as she tried to contain her excitement for the bustle going on around her. "But you have to admit that this is really amazing for someone when hasn't ever been in here before."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Luckily we won tonight or Toby would kill you if he heard singing."

"Toby's the bald guy that I never met?"

"To say the least," CJ chuckled as she came up behind them. "It's nice to see you again, Dawn."

"Nice to see you too," she said with a grin.

"Here for the vote?"

"Actually a tour."

"Interesting timing." CJ cast a glance to Donna. "Will Josh give you enough time?"

The woman in question shrugged. "I don't know. Anyway, we're waiting on Sam. Apparently Dawn wanted to be given the tour by him."

"But Sam--"

"She knows."

Dawn blushed. "I know that Sam isn't very good on the White House's history, but when we started talking about it, I realized that I wanted him to give it. Especially after the amazing stories he told me about working here."

"Who?" Josh said coming out from the unofficial 'victory room'.

"Sam," Donna answered.

"_What_ amazing stories about him? I didn't know that there were any amazing stories about him." Donna in a need to protect the integrity of her friend, reached over and slapped his shoulder. "Hey!"

Donna didn't want Josh to get into the embarrassing Sam stories-numerous in quantity- that he might or might not had already told his girlfriend. "Just shut up, will ya?"

The small group gave her a look. Josh in particular didn't know why she was getting so testy. They had been friends forever and she seemed close to this new roommate. He really didn't see what a few little Sam anecdotes would hurt. But he could tell she meant business. "Sorry." He continued to rub his arm for several minutes before he finally took his gaze away from the moody little blonde under his immediate employment.

She shared his stare as well and could feel that there were a few sparks that lit up between them. When she turned her head away she was thankful that the rest of the room seemed not to pay it any mind.

So the timing was perfect; enter Sam Seaborn. "Hi," he stated awkwardly as he saw all eyes come on him.

"Hey," was the general response.

His first personal statement was directed to Josh. "Things went better than expected tonight."

"Haffley pulled seven over."

"Yes, but we pulled over the majority so it doesn't really matter in the end." He shrugged after the glare he was given in response. "So it is, but I would like a small moment to bask in our happiness."

Josh gave a cheeky smirk and a pat on the back. "Go bask. I have a couple calls to make."

"And I have a tour to give." He finally turned his eyes over to his girlfriend and friend. "Ladies, shall we?"

"Wondered how long it would take before you'd notice I was in the building," Dawn muttered as they walked off toward the Mural Room.

"Trust me. There was no way I could _not _notice."

Donna hid a smile as she gave an eye roll. "Let's see what Mr. Seaborn will tell us about the history of this building."

"In 1933 a heated indoor pool was created for President Roosevelt. Nixon turned the area into the White House pressroom during his first term in office."

"And Sam wanted to change it back," Donna snickered.

"What can I say? The Democrats had the right idea and the Republicans came and messed it all up."

Dawn was fascinated. "Anything else?"

"Well, in 1942 a cloakroom in the East Wing was converted into a movie theater."

"Have you ever been in it? And saw a movie?"

"Well, sure. The President has a movie night about once a month. I'm sure that you can get in with Donna or maybe even me if I get the chance to stop by."

Dawn was in utter awe.

The three of them approached a door. Sam was looking quite proud of himself. "This is the East Room." As he opened the door they all took a moment to appreciate the décor. "As you can see, the furnishings and ambiance are of French influence. James Hoban is the principle architect and he was particularly proud of this oval shaped room. If you look around you can see the eight original pieces that have remained throughout the time that this has bee a reception hall." He gestured at the room. "Including the bergerè and armchair."

Donna didn't know what to say. This man once told that the Roosevelt Room was named after Franklin as he stood under the six foot painting of Teddy. She was impressed. "What's a bergerè?"

"C'mon. we have more to see." That and Sam wasn't exactly sure.

"I thought you didn't know anything about the White House?" Dawn said as they walked back out to the hallway.

"President Roosevelt broadcasted his fireside chats from the Diplomatic Reception Room in the White House during the Great Depression."

"Are we going there?"

"If we have time. Now I'm taking you over to the bullpens. After that, I'm going to show you the Mural Office and Oval Office."

"I-I can go into the Oval Office?"

"If the President isn't in there working still."

Both Sam and Donna laughed out loud as they noticed the younger woman begin to hyperventilate.

"Did you know that during World War One, Wilson kept a flock of sheep right out on the lawn? At its peak, there were eighteen. They saved money on lawn keeping costs and made good charitable donations off of the wool."

Sam continued to impress both women as he guided them through the bullpens and the Mural Room. As they came to the Oval Office, Charlie let them know that Bartlet would be away long enough for them to give Dawn a look around.

"This is amazing," Dawn cooed as she stood in the middle of the room.

"And did you know that the height of the room is eighteen and a half feet?"

"Okay…how the hell do you know all this?" Donna couldn't take it any longer.

Sam shrugged. "Nothing big. Just like I know that the White House acquired the first electric refrigerator in 1926."

"Sam!" The demand drew the young brunette woman's attention.

"What? Can't I know this stuff?"

"No," Donna answered simply.

"Electric vacuum cleaners were used for the first time on White House carpets in 1922."

Dawn was grinning. "You told me just last night that you didn't have clue about anything hear. You had to do something."

Sam blushed and looked down at the floor. He had to admit that he was a little proud that he had retained all this useless information. He had spent over and hour glancing down at the index cards he and Cathy made.

The blonde woman wasn't as amused. She really couldn't figure out how he was doing it and that annoyed her. "Sam…"

"I Googled." His voice was a whisper.

"You what?" Dawn asked.

He met her inquiring gaze. "I Googled for you." She giggled and he elaborated. "I ran a search of the White House and found quite the site by the White House Historical Association."

Now Donna could laugh. She just had to know the catch.

"So, I google over my girlfriend." Dawn blushed. "I will google over you anytime you want if it will make you happy."

Donna arched her brows and Dawn caught the gesture. "I know, I know exactly what you are thinking."

"Don't make out in the middle of the Oval Office," Donna retorted as she walked out of the room. She then headed back over to her desk to get all her stuff ready to go home.

"Hey," Josh said softly as he leaned up against his door.

"Hey." She turned around and gave him a soft smile. They both could sense that they were alone. "I'm…I'm just getting things ready to go home."

"Sam and Dawn seem close." It was idle chat, but he had missed not spending much time talking and especially bantering lately.

Donna nodded. "Yeah. Sam comes over at least twice a week now."

"Really?"

She now giggled. "The hardest part is trying to make him remember that he has actual work to do." Josh's look stemmed more laughter on her part. "What can I say, the boy is a romantic."

They spent a quiet moment looking at one another. Then once she turned to start collecting herself once more, he spoke once more with a gentle tenor. "And how are you, Donna?"

"Huh?" She spun to face him.

"How are you? You've been…off lately. I just want to make sure everything is okay."

"With me or with us?" With all her being she wished she hadn't said that.

He paused a moment. "Both, I guess."

The concern in his eyes was about to bring tears to her own. Josh Lyman wasn't a sentimental man therefore when he had his all too rare moments, she wasn't prepared. With a sigh she answered, "I'm fine." Then a small smile. "We're fine."

"Good." And he meant it. He felt inspired now to step out of the doorway.

A pain crept into her countenance and she tried her best to conceal it. "Josh. You're my best friend." She didn't try to decipher the small look of shock that bestowed him. "I just want you to always remember that."

He couldn't tell if she was reading the thought that he was just having about finally walking up to her and taking her into his arms, but he could tell that she was making things clear to him. They were coworkers. They were friends. They were _best _friends. They were nothing more. "You're mine too, Donna." His voice was barely a whisper.

Almost shaking Donna came over and hugged him.

If only they knew what the other was thinking at that exact moment.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

A/N: I just want to thank all of you that have reviewed me. I know who you are and I really appreciate you guys. I can see whose favorites list I'm on and who has me on Author's Alert and it warms my heart to know that you guys like this so much.

And I have to thank Holly for not only reading and editing and praising, but for all her other general best friend duties like taking my nineteen year-old self around town because I am too chicken to drive and putting up with me when I am at my whiniest.

On that pointless note, thank you all again and I really appreciate the feedback. Feel free to criticize anything. I really like to hear it whether or not it's pretty. Smiles4303aol.com

Enjoy!

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Chapter Fourteen

Donna had to admit with a contented sigh that Sundays were the best day of the week. Saturday could always carry over the workload easier than the rest of the weekend, though any day had the potential of drawing her to the nation's most prestigious home. But in her mind it seemed that Sundays held a sense of calmness and laziness that no other day possessed.

Saturday had a weakness. Saturday seemed the day for errand running. Shopping or laundry or going to the office to organize the files that were disheveled all the week before.

But Sunday was the day the Lord rested and Donna planned to follow suit. She lay in bed clutching the stereo remote. She planned to simply listen to anything she wanted as she pondered how time had gone by so quickly.

She was ten weeks pregnant.

A month had passed since the night they had won the House vote. During the time, she and Josh had seemed to return to their old selves and had spent many an hour bantering and quipping back and forth. Donna still had to grin about a couple good ones she got in when they were discussing the American Dairy Product Association. Yes, names of cheese could make punning all the more interesting.

A smile spread across her face as she remembered that she was all alone. Sam had flown to town yesterday afternoon from a weeklong stay in his district. Dawn and Sam had decided to catch a late movie and she was sure that they were having fun at their first all-nighter since their official start.

Donna turned the stereo to a random radio station. She was able to catch the last few seconds of _Mony Mony_, but was disappointed to hear that she tuned in at the end of Billy Idol. Though saddened, she was determined to hear a good song before the next dial change. And as Michelle Branch came over the speakers, she felt that her wish had been granted. _"Of all the things I've believed in, I just want to get it over with."_

"God, such a good song," Donna muttered to herself as she let the notes wash over her.

"Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry. Counting the days that pass me by."

She was pretty sure that it was a combination of her prenatal hormones and the fact that Josh and the baby were always on her mind, but she found herself drawing parallels as the lyrics continued.

"I've been searching deep down in my soul. Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old."

"Amen." She had been asking herself lately if she was doing the right thing by Josh, the baby and herself. Listening to Sam and Dawn reassure her that they would support her no matter what she chose was getting a bit annoying. That and the lack of answers that she could find within her own heart.

"It feels like I'm starting all over again. The last three years were just pretend."

"Try six, but I get the sentiment." .

"And I said, goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I knew. You were the one I loved; the one thing that I tried to hold on to."

She tried to will herself not to cry. "It's a stupid song." But that didn't keep the tear from sliding down her temple.

"I still get lost in your eyes, and it seems that I can't live a day without you."

All that brought to mind was Josh. She did get lost in his eyes. Sometimes they could have a whole conversation without opening their mouths, though talking was always more witty. And she didn't know how she would get by without him now. She was starting to hate this song.

"Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away to a place where I am blinded by the light. But it's not right."

"I hate this song," she sobbed.

"Goodbye to you. Goodbye to everything I knew. You were the one I loved; the one thing that I tried to hold on to."

"And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you, but I'm not giving in this soon."

As the final rendition of the chorus played, Donna decided that she couldn't take any more and switched the dial off. She was still crying as she made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She had already decided that tomorrow was when she would finally brave Josh and still was battling over how much to tell.

Late Friday, Dr. Young had called her apartment and left a message stating that her Monday appointment had to be rescheduled from 12:30 to 2:45. That meant that Donna couldn't slip over there during lunch, but she would have to clear it with her boss. And she knew that she had to tell Josh the truth for two reasons: he would think she was dying and a pregnancy is a bit hard to hide as the months go on.

Wiping her eyes, she leaned against the countertop and tried her bet to steady her breath and her emotions. She decided that she would tell him that she was pregnant. She also decided that she would not tell him who the father was, though many years of self-loathing would more than likely be followed by her child, not to mention its father despising her. Donna wouldn't lie to him and say that another man had gave her this child, but she knew that Josh was going to be bitter when she would not confide in him.

She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was doing the wrong thing. But when she thought of the alternative of telling Josh, she considered that wrong as well. In that instant he would sacrifice his professional activity and the Democratic Party as well as the White House would want his head and his job. Republicans would love to make a scandal out of it, and Josh would let them out of obligation to the child.

They had silently decided long ago that a romantic relationship was out of the question, so this was anything but acceptable. She would take the burden for him and deal with it.

But Donna also understood that Josh would not understand her reasoning-whether or not he ever found out the whole truth. He would firstly resent her for not telling her who the father is, then if the time ever came that he found out that _he_ was the father, he would resent Donna for keeping that knowledge from him.

And she understood that. She knew that it probably wasn't the best plan. But in her mind, it seemed better than the alternative of watching the man she loved throw away his life and career, which he loved dearly. It may be wrong, but it was the decision she had reached.

This wasn't to say that she didn't have reservations. The fact of what she was doing was only the beginning, along with simply finding a feasible way to confront Josh in the morning. She had no earthly idea about how to broach the subject. "So, Josh. Do you know where babies come from?" She was trying to find a good icebreaker to test the water.

"I think I might be needing a little vacation time. Why**,** you ask? Well, they have made a lot of advances in technology, but they still won't let you have outpatient deliveries."

As she sat down at the kitchen table, she made up her mind again. Her life just sucked.

* * *

Monday morning seemed to be a relatively slow news day. There was little coming off the Hill after the latest vote and there we**r**e no international or national crises to focus on early in the day. Everyone was going about their usual routines while keeping themselves prepared for anything. Donna was relatively confident that Josh wouldn't be ready for this**,** though.

"Morning," the man in question stated as he made his way to his office. Donna decided to get it over with and followed him in. "What's on the agenda today?" he asked as he tossed his backpack on the floor.

"Well…" she shut the door gently behind her. "You have staff in twenty then a meeting with the leadership on the next education bill, but I have something that I need to talk to you about."

He panicked as he looked up to see her face. She was serious. Too serious. "Kay."

Donna made her way to the chair in front of his desk. As she sat herself down, she tried to find the remains of her confidence and destroy the little remaining pieces of her pride. "I need to have a late lunch today."

Josh nodded, but didn't get how this was _that_ big of a deal. He would try and make her feel guilty for leaving him unattended, but it wouldn't be the end of the national government. "Why?"

"I have a doctor's appointment."

The potential reasons going through his mind as to why she would need a doctor were too numerous to count. And in the brief moments that he allowed his mind to drift, he noted that all were bad.

"I need you to know that Dr. Young is an obstetrician."

Josh was glad that she didn't say oncologist. Then he was pleased that she didn't say man. But then it hit him right in the gut. _Obstetrician. "_That's not the skin doctor."

"That's a dermatologist."

"I'm going to be that dense…you're _what_?"

Donna shuffled her feet across the floor and concentrated heavily on how her shoes were complimenting her skirt. "I'm pregnant, Josh." All she wanted to do was run away and cry.

"How far along?" This was asked out of care and concern. "And is everything okay?"

Donna met his eyes again as she sensed that he was taking it well. "Everything's fine and I'm about two and a half months."

"So…this is why you've been acting a little weird lately."

"Yeah. I know I should have told you sooner, but I was a little worried about your reaction."

Josh nodded. She saw the soft look in his eyes darken just a bit. "Who's the father?"

A sigh course through her entire body. "This is where things get complicated, Josh."

His eyes grew wide. "You don't know?"

"I do."

He paused. "Well, who?"

"I-I'm not going to tell you." It sounded like such a weak statement to her own ears.

"Why?"

Yeah, he wasn't taking this well anymore. She had a distinct feeling that _'because I said so' _would bode well. "I know that as my friend you have a right to know, but I really just don't want to discuss it."

"Does the father know?" He was trying to find a reason why she wouldn't tell him.

Her eyes went to the ground. "He knows I'm pregnant."

"Then tell me!" He was out of his seat.

"Joshua." Her tone and countenance were no longer meek. "I have thought long and hard and I'm not going to tell you. I understand that you're probably angry."

"Well that's a relief," he snapped. "Glad you get that this _might_ bother me."

"And if you plan on firing me then I accept it. If you plan on hating me then go ahead."

"Are you two getting together?"

"No," she stated in defiance. "It's in his best interest not to make his identity known, so I'm going to raise it on my own."

That's when it hit him. _That's _why she wouldn't tell him. She knew him too well and she knew that he would leave his office that very second and kick the guy**'**s ass. Josh nodded solemnly. "Okay. What time**'**s that doctor's appointment?"

"Two-thirty." Tears welled in her eyes as she noticed how his eyes trailed toward her abdomen. "Thank you, Josh," she whispered once she thought that she could safely speak.

"It'll be okay," he reassured as he came forward to give her a gentle hug. The contact was brief, but both were burned by the touch. He made quick work of the gesture and then turned to head to his desk.

"Staff is in five," Donna said looking at her watch. She then tried to hurriedly fix her composure and appearance.

Josh knew that he should be silent. There was nothing more to say or do. But as he saw her dabbing her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse, he couldn't resist. "You look fine, Donna." He prayed to God that she didn't see the emotion in his own gaze as she caught his stare once more.

* * *

Josh was astounded that he had handled it so well and he was certain that Donna was of the similar opinion. He had to admit that a majority of that was probably still the shock of it all.

Donna was pregnant.

Of course he knew that Donna wasn't a virgin. In fact he knew a few of the gomers that she had had a night or two with. Bile rose to his throat as he remembered a few of the choice ones. But Donna quickly recognized that he would not listen to the tales of her men.

But now he knew that there was one out there that had not only slept with his Donna, but had knocked her up**,** too. And this son of a bitch was putting his career before her and the baby. Yeah. It was good he didn't know.

But that didn't stop the jealousy. He didn't know if anything ever would.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviews. There have been some extra kind people like Angel Marie1 and Lystelle who just found my fic and read it through and I appreciate it. Both of you have excellent works that I am hoping to see more of.

And thanks to Holly...who has some of the best Buffy fics out there (Holly4) and some of the best writing I have ever seen. (Can you tell that she is also my best friend and my generous beta-er?)

And thank you all for sticking through this story and my erratic posting habits. It's just hard to stay on a schedule.

For some reason I was having bad vibes about this chapter and how the story is going in general. I don't know, I guess I'm just weird.

If there is any truth to my worries or you see something you don't like or is wrong, feel free to email or IM me and set me straight. On that note I will shut up and let everyone enjoy this.

****

Chapter Fifteen

As the day drew to a close, Donna was more than relieved to make her way home. It had just been awkward to be around Joshua Lyman today and all she could hope for was that tomorrow would improve.

She knew that Josh had tried his best to get her out by five, but when Leo put a six-thirty meeting on the schedule, both were resigned to the fact that they were completely out of luck. But it wasn't all bad; she was still getting home before nine.

"I hope you left me something good to eat," she called out as she made her way through the door. She was starved and hoping that Dawn had already ordered some dinner. The sight she encountered helped in suppressing her appetite.

Sam Seaborn was standing in the middle of her bathroom doorway. In a robe. Just a robe. Just a pink robe.

Just _her_ pink robe.

"Sam?"

He had the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "I assure you that there is a perfectly feasible explanation as to why I am dressed this way."

"You like to get cleaned up after you screw my roommate?"

She could tell that Sam was too horrified to speak and as she saw Dawn's expression as she slowly emerged from the bedroom, Donna knew that a moment would be needed.

"He…spilt soy sauce on his pants while we were eating dinner."

"Soy sauce?" She tried biting her cheek to keep the smirk from coming through, but she figured that was unsuccessful.

Sam raised a hand to speak. "Donna, I--"

Donna did a similar gesture to stop him. "Sam. Don't." She sighed and realized that there hadn't even had been the chance to put her purse down. She cast it on the nearest piece of furniture. "Guys, I don't care what you two do as long as you think of the implications." A long pause. "I know that sounds bad coming from me of all people, but I mean it with love and concern."

Both Sam and Dawn relaxed enough to chuckle. "We know."

Dawn came and placed her hand in her boyfriend's. "Me and Sam have talked and I think that we've reached an agreement."

"We want a relationship and we don't care to hide it."

Donna was overjoyed. "Really?"

"We know that my age is going to play a bit of a problem with Sam's publicity."

"Also the fact that she might get bothered more than she should. The press and me in general might interfere with her studies."

Dawn gave him an adoring look. "Which we don't want but agree is a sacrifice worth taking. Also, we know that my family is an issue."

"Dawn is afraid that if anyone does enough research they may see that they are a bit…on the side of quirky."

"They're freaks," Dawn said unabashedly. "Also we know that they will give Sam trouble once they find out we're an item."

"Zack and Will?" Donna questioned.

Sam cast his eyes downward in mournful despair. "Spike."

"And my sister too. But I'm sure that it will be her husband that takes the cake."

With a sad sigh, Sam looked away once again. "Spike."

"Anyways…we decided that we don't care if people know, but that we want to keep it low-key right now."

"You guys have done a lot of thinking about this," Donna observed.

Sam shook himself out of his impending ass-kicking slump. "We truly have. Dawn and I have decided that those close to us…aside from her family who we want to keep far _far_ away, will know. The guys at the White House know, so we don't need to go advertising. Since no one is after me…in a political sense, we feel that the story will be kept for awhile."

Donna was utterly giddy. She ran over to hug both of them. "This is wonderful." She had to pause to get in a good tease of Sam. "So this means that I should plan on you spending more nights here, eh?"

"We can stay at Sam's place."

"No. I don't mind," Donna openly admitted. "As long as you two stay quiet enough for me to get to sleep, then you can go at it all you want."

Dawn blushed and Sam commented. "Sounds good to me."

"As long as there's some dinner in that fridge, you two can start up right now in the living room floor for all I care."

"Donna!" Dawn looked as bright as a cherry.

"There's some Chinese," Sam added.

As Donna bounded off to the other room she called over her shoulder. "Just buy me a new bathrobe, Mr. Congressman."

* * *

Sam was undeniably happy as he sat in his Washington office. Things in his life were about as good as he ever banked on them getting. He was doing well in his new job-even looking at how well he would fair in re-election-along with aspects of his personal life. He was getting along better than ever before with Donna and though he had been a little distant with Josh, there had been an ultra-smooth transition between them when it came time for him to take office. He couldn't be more pleased. Then, along came Dawn.

Dawnie.

Ever since that first night where they threw common sense out the window, things had been going strong. Though her age was a serious factor- she was twenty-two and he was, as she stated, "so incredibly not"-they could get by. No other scandals were attached unless they looked very, _very_ closely at her family. So they did not care to be secretive. They just wanted to keep it low-key.

For good reasons. To avoid said family and also avoid the craziness which was the Washington press cycle. One never knew how they would handle an issue or another and Sam really had no desire to find out.

So he decided to cast the thought aside and go about more pleasant things. Like how happy he was. Or the fact that he currently had absolutely nothing to do but sit in his office and look online for bathrobes. He thought that it was an endearing gesture to a good friend with a few issues.

When Bonnie opened his door he was muttering to himself. "Well…turquoise just isn't her color…I don't think."

She arched her brows. "Sam?" He looked up at her. "Josh is on line one."

"Excellent," he said with the smile that made Bonnie forget that she was about to ask what he was looking at. He grabbed the phone. "Hey."

"Hey."

Josh didn't sound nearly as chipper as he was. That was never good. He toned down his glee. "Everything going alright on your end of the federal government?"

Josh was slow responding. "Yeah. Things at work are fine. I just…" Josh knew that he should keep Donna's confidence because he figured that she wasn't prepared to start bragging on her illegitimate child. That's why he reasoned that Sam was the only one he could talk to. Sam no longer worked with them so he didn't feel like it would affect her that much. "Donna talked to me yesterday."

"It's really amazing when assistants actually verbalize to you. It makes you begin to wonder how they could work there everyday without doing so."

"Shut up." He didn't mean for it to sound quite as snippy as it came out, but he had a lot on his mind. Then when he figured in all his work too, there was just about too much for concentration. "No, I mean that she told me something."

"What?" Then it dawned on him. Donna told Josh about _everything_ yesterday.

"Donna told me a secret."

Sam tried to hide the humor in his voice, but this was too adorable. "Josh, do you have a secret and you can't tell me? 'Cause I have to say that more and more this conversation is reminding me of something I experienced in the third grade."

"Donna…Donna is pregnant."

"Well _that_ isn't third grade at all," he mumbled. Sam was then silent a moment. He was trying to read the man on the other line's reaction. "How did you take it?"

"Shocked. How are you taking it?"

"Well, I admit that I'm utterly surprised by the whole situation."

"Not only is Donna pregnant, but the father wants nothing to do with the baby."

"Really?" Now he could act shocked.

"Yeah. Donna told me so."

"The guy doesn't want the baby?"

"Donna said that it was decided that it wasn't in the best interest of the father to announce that he is the…father."

"So maybe he does want to take care of the baby, but it's been decided that they shouldn't do it publicly."

"He's a prick! If she would give me his name I would kick his ass right now."

Sam knew that he shouldn't, but he was grinning. This was classic. Josh wanted to go and kick his own ass. "Sounds like Donna didn't want you to go act irrationally with the paternal information."

"I would," Josh admitted in defeat.

"I know," he said in a low tone.

It took a moment of silence for Josh to realize that Sam didn't act like he had banked on. Then it dawned on him. "Did Donna tell you already?"

"What?"

"That she was pregnant?"

His tone went slightly higher than desired. "Why would you say that, Josh?"

His feeling of defeat was now replaced by silent anger. He was mad at her for telling Sam before him and he was mad at Sam for not telling him. "She did."

As he ran a hand through his dark hair, he knew that he couldn't lie to his best friend. "I was there when she got the news."

"Who's the father?"

Now Sam's mind was reeling. Why did he just jump a very big ravine into assuming that he _knew_ that information? Sam settled on the sad fact that it was because he did. "Josh**…**"

"I know that you know, now because you didn't immediately deny. Tell me, Sam."

"I think that Donna was right on that one. It would be best for Donna, you, the father." He was pleased for his subtle word choice there. "As well as my own personal safety if I would just not answer that."

"Your own personal safety?"

"Donna would kill me."

There was a long silence. Then Josh spoke. "Do I know him?"

Sam sighed. He should just hang up. _Why don't I just hang up?_ "Yeah…you do."

"You know him?"

"Quite well."

"Do I like him?"

Sam snorted. "Honestly, not really, but yes. You do have a penchant for this fellow."

"Is he being selfish in his career?"

"Just like Donna is in her own. Revealing the information will more than likely get her fired. Scandals will arise and then this child will grow up knowing that it ruined their parent's careers. Donna doesn't want anyone to experience that."

Josh was feeling betrayed. He really felt like the scorned lover. "You and Donna have talked a lot about this."

"Yeah. She likes for me and Dawn to listen to her as she tries to reason this."

"Does she think this is actually _good_ reasoning?!"

The dark haired man took a deep breath and hoped that the act would produce his friend to do the same. It did. "Josh, she's really looking out for the father with this. More than I think she should, but it's her decision and as the mother, she gets the say."

"Yeah." Bitter couldn't even describe him at the moment.

"I advise that you don't take this out on Donna. She needs you right now. She _needs_ you."

Josh Lyman's world was collapsing around him more than he ever thought possible. Sam said that she _needed_ him. He figured that she didn't need him when she found out. Or when she reasoned everything. Or when she made this baby.

But he needed her. He _needed_ her. As a tear rolled down his cheek, he finally realized how much. "Yeah," he managed when he felt stable enough to speak.

"Good. I knew that Donna could count on you."

Josh just wasn't sure on whom he could count on anymore.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

A/N: Again many many thanks to all who have reviewed this. Nataliarose9, eccentric and all of the others who though not mentioned I appreciate just as much are so appreciated. I cherish every review.

Quick thanks to Angel Marie- since you first IMed me, we have had some really fun chats. And thanks for that parody that you did of _Pandora_. That was wonderful.

And lastly a big shout out to Holly. No one but us know that most of the things that happen in here are the little things we cat about when sitting around your den or driving around in Bugger.

And to all the _Buffy _and _Angel_ fans out there. Holly has been nominated for some awards. All can cast their votes for her at the Spuffy Awards website. (Sorry no link available...ff.net is mean.)She's up for Best Author, multiple best fics and my favorite, Best Original Character for Zack Wright.

On that note of bragging, I will let you read this now and I hope that you enjoy!!!

****

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Donna!"

She arched her brows in anticipation for the next bellow as she sat at her desk sipping on her milk. She was aching for a mocha latte.

"Donna!" This time he was closer and she could hear him approaching. As she turned her desk chair, she could see him looking at her from the doorway.

"May I inquire as to why you scream my name?"

He gave her him egotistic smirk. "Do I have to have a reason?" She put her mouth to her straw and took another sip.

"Will you come here for a minute?" Six days had passed since he had talked to Sam. It had taken that long to calm his system down. He was a proud man for not taking it out on Donna as much as he wanted to. He was scorned. Bitterly scorned.

Donna gracefully followed as she continued to drink her milk. An amused expression befell her face as she saw him close the door.

"I have a fool-proof plan about the Daddy Thing." That was the playful name he pegged for discovering the father of her child. He pretended that he was making a cute little joke about it by endlessly prodding her, but in honesty he was ready to call a private detective.

"You have to fool part down," she retorted in between calcium intakes.

He smiled and gave her a look. "Please close your ears, Miss Moss. This conversation is between me and the baby." He didn't notice that she stopped swallowing. Also breathing. With a sigh he bent down toward her abdomen. Then ever so softly he whispered.

"Josh?" She didn't know whether to be amused or depressed to tears.

"Shhh!" The look he gave her was priceless. He was truly annoyed at her for talking. 

"I doubt that he or she can hear you through the amniotic fluid."

"Donna," he whined before turning back to her stomach once more. "She just won't give me a chance now."

"Me or the baby?"

"You!" He groaned and turned his head down a final time. "Who's your daddy?"

"Josh?"

His tone became much more playful. "Who's your daddy? C'mon, c'mon, who's your daddy?"

Donna was almost reduced to tears and the pain in her stomach was almost crying out _you are_, but she didn't relent. "Josh, you are talking to my abs there."

"Like you don't talk to the baby?"

"I do…since it's in _my_ stomach." She smiled. "Do you expect him or her to talk back to you?"

He shrugged, obviously having more fun now that chastising was involved. "Who's you daddy?"

Donna had to put a stop to it. Her emotions were haywire and she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to slap him, cry, or pull him up and kiss him. "Can I go back to work now?"

"Yeah," he moped. "Guess that didn't work."

"If it's any consolation it was a better ploy than yesterday when you bribed me with M&Ms."

As she went back to her desk, both were resigned to the fact that things were strained. Each of them had things that they wanted desperately to say, but could not. Each had things that they thought that put the slightest bit of distance between them.

But they would push those away for the meantime. They were good at that.

Donna's head was reeling as she walked out of CJ's office. She had never wanted to do that, but knew that she had no choice if everyone just looked at her medical files. Or her stomach. Or just listened to Josh nowadays.

Though she remained adamant on her 'the father shall remain anonymous', she felt entirely too guilty. CJ had always been a wonderful friend and she wished that she could tell, but alas she was too afraid about so many people holding the knowledge. The last thing that she wanted was for Josh to find out.

And the whole world knew how Sam Seaborn could keep a secret. She didn't need to add another to the list.

So as she went past her desk to collect her purse for lunch, she realized that there was another conversation that she dreaded having. Her parents were going to have to find out one way or another. She was just worried about what to tell. Did she want to risk the chance that they would slip up and tell that a big politician had fathered their grandchild, or did she want to live with being called a whore for the rest of her life?

The answer was harder than it should be.

"Going out for lunch?" Carol asked. Donna figured that she would know soon as well since she made it clear that CJ was free to spread the word.

"Yup. Nothing like a good sandwich. Josh and Toby will be on the Hill all afternoon, so I have a chance to get away."

"Have fun," she called as briefing memos filled her arms.

After brief deliberation, Donna decided that the air was warm enough to walk through the streets to get where she was going and made a workout of it. She had every intention of going to the deli, and as she walked by her favorite cappuccino stand, she was proud that she could resist temptation.

Then the Starbucks caught her eye.

She stopped in the street and looked around as if there would be someone there to hold her willpower back. As she noted there was no one to help her, she began to edge her way toward the entrance. "Will this hurt my baby? It's just one."

She got in line behind a cute young businessman who looked to be on a short break as well. "That's probably what the crack whore said the first time around."

"Excuse me?" He said turning to face her.

The words she muttered were apparently louder than she thought. As her cheeks went crimson she shook her head. "No, no. I was just talking to myself." Then she blushed again at the nutcase she sounded like.

The man in turn smiled. "Don't worry. It's a habit we all have. But did you just call yourself a crack whore?"

She gave a weak smile. "I-I'm pregnant and I am getting a coffee. I feel horrible."

The man laughed and for a moment she was feeling quite offended. "My girlfriend was that way when she was pregnant too. I assure you that she drank coffee and the baby turned out just fine."

"Really?" That assured Donna that one, _one_ wouldn't be too bad. She secretly admitted that she might have to do this once a month, but the baby would understand. "Thanks."

"No problem," he stated as he turned back to the front.

Now her talk motor was revving. "That was just another thing that I didn't need to worry about. With all else on my mind."

"Yeah, that happens. Glad to help."

"Well, see there is this problem with the baby's father. I can't tell him that he's the father cause it would be problematic."

The guy gave her a look. "Problematic?"

"Yeah. He kinda happens to be my boss who was too drunk to remember that we slept together." She caught the man's eye. "I know what you must think because that sounds trashy, but I swear that neither of us had done anything near that before. Hell, he doesn't even _like _me half the time. But after that and I got pregnant I couldn't tell Josh because that would hurt our careers and then our personal lives-we are quite good friends."

Donna went on**,** not noticing the fact that the man in front of her was completely horrified out of his mind with regret for ever opening his mouth. "So I told him I was pregnant and he was angry that I wouldn't tell him who the father is. Then I just told CJ, but I didn't tell her about Josh either. That was okay, but I felt bad about it. Now I have the predicament of whether or not to tell my parents that Josh is the father or to let them think that I'm a whore that can't remember. And trust me, with my lack of love life, I _know_ who that father is." There was a long dramatic pause. "I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from."

The man gave her a blank stare. "Can I take your order?" The woman behind the counter replied. As she spoke, the man turned to her as though she was the Messiah.

Donna fidgeted and kept on talking. "I guess that I should be honest with them. They are my parents and they should have a right to know the whole truth. I will just explain the situation and hope that they understand why they can't tell a soul about Josh. Does that sound like a good plan to you?"

The lady behind the counter spoke again. "And what for the lady?"

"I don't know her," the man replied with a shrug.

That's when Donna took her cue and shut up.

Josh knew that he needed to be concentrating on what the man in front of him was saying. If Toby was paying attention, then it must mean something. Not that he made regular procedure of ignoring the Senate Leadership. Well he did, but he tried not to zone out when his own party was talking. Ergo, he felt a small twinge of guilt for letting his mind wonder.

_But who is that baby's father?_

He couldn't get over that question. If he _knew_ the father it would seem to be a much easier puzzle to piece together. But Sam's words haunted him and seemed to make the process of discovering the Ultimate Gomer an even bigger challenge.

"I think that the demands are reasonable," the Minority Leader stated. "What does the White House think?"

"I think that it's more of Josh's call than mine," Toby admitted.

_I _know_ that I can figure this out. Evan if I have to hire a private investigator._

"Josh?"

Now Toby was chiming in. "Josh!"

He looked like he just awoke. "W--Huh?"

After catching up, he slowly drifted away again.

Donna felt exhausted as she made her way back through the West Wing. The conversation she had just gone through with her parents was one of the most trying of her life. But she was pleased as she said her adieus and hung up the phone.

She talked to her mother and promised that she would talk to her dad that night. She was completely, _completely_ honest with her and said to be the same with her father. Then she explained why she was keeping it all a secret and asked if she would do it with her siblings and the rest of her family. Her mother was disappointed that things had to come to that but agreed. Mrs. Moss only wanted to do what would help make this pregnancy easier for her daughter to grasp.

So her day was made. CJ knew and now her family knew. This was exactly how she had planned on it going. But as she glanced over at Josh's empty office, a pain of regret lodged itself in her gut.

"Donna."

With a blink, she glanced up to see the Press Secretary in front of her. "Yup."

"I was wondering, how is Sam doing? We haven't talked in a while and I saw that he was with you the night of the disaster relief vote."

Donna was grinning now. "He and Dawn are a thing."

"Really?" A smile bestowed her face.

The blonde woman nodded with glee. "A big thing."

"That is terrific!" Then a pause. "How are they handling it?"

"They aren't going to hide it, but they don't want to make hay out of it either. They kinda assumed that people might pick up on it over here. They flirted a lot that night, but then again Sam can flirt with about everyone."

"That's so adorable."

"You should call him. He would love to brag."

"So I guess that you get to see him often?"

She rolled her eyes at the redhead. "Every day." Then she smiled. "But it's really great. Not only for Dawnie, but for me. He has really been helping me through the pregnancy."

CJ's gaze soften a bit more. "That is good to hear, Donna." She took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "You know that we will all help you through."

"Thank you."

Yes, all was going well in Donna's world.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

A/N: This is a little quicker that I normally post, but the last few days I have been a story writing fiend.

Thank you to Holly who gave me practically every idea in this chapter (literally).

Also thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed and those who have just read. I swear that I haven't even hit the big stuff yet.

Enjoy!

****

Chapter Seventeen

"I should be able to figure this out," Josh said as he paced his office. Two weeks had gone by since his blip on the Hill and though he hadn't yet found the courage to call up a P.I., he was tempted more and more everyday. "I mean anyone can take a look at my credentials and know that I'm a brilliant guy. I'm a Fulbright Scholar who went to Harvard and Yale. You can't get much better than that."

He knew that he should just let it go, but he couldn't. It was Donna and he wasn't about to let anyone hurt her. No matter how much _he_ hurt. So focusing on discovering the paternity of the child helped ease the pain that he experienced in knowing that someone had been close enough to her to make it in the first place.

"I worked two years as the floor director in the House and two years as director in the Senate. That's a tough job." He sighed. "You have been Brennan's CoS and Deputy for the President of the United States…which you elected." He paused and conceded. "For the most part. You've worked some of the best jobs in Washington and are considered the third most powerful man in this building. Aside from all those military guys and let's just say they don't count."

With a groan**,** he flopped himself in his chair. "This _can't_ be that hard. I mean, you work Donna like a…overworked animal. And though she gets out on occasion when you run out of things for her to do, she isn't a floozy. This can't be too hard. All you got to do is think about how far along she is and do the math." He paused as he noted that Donna said yesterday that she was right at three months. Then he grabbed his calendar and flipped it back three months from Friday. "This can't be that hard."

* * *

"Just shut up," Donna muttered into the phone.

"Donna, you really need to go. You know what I say-"

"I really swear, Sam. If you say that one more time, then I plan on making sure that _you_ lose all your teeth."

"I can get you in today at lunch at my dentist."

"You called me in an appointment?"

"You haven't been to a dentist in years, Donna. The last one you saw was four years ago when you went home for Christmas in Wisconsin. This way, I'm getting you in and setting up a future contact. I'll even make it easier on you. I'll come pick you up, because I really don't have anything to do till late this afternoon, and drive you there. Then we can meet up with Dawnie for lunch."

She rolled her eyes. "You had this all set up before you even called."

"And it happens to be that the office is really close to Georgetown."

"Isn't that a coincidence?" she dryly commented before sighing in defeat. "Fine. What time?"

"I'll be there at eleven thirty." She didn't wait for another word before hanging up.

A whim of temptation overcame her to simply beckon Josh to her, but she doubted that he would find much humor in the gesture. So, she got up and walked into his office without bothering to knock. Donna certain that he was talking to himself. "Busy?"

He looked startled by the sound of her voice. "No. Just chilling until Leo calls me back. Why?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I am going to be taking a long lunch today."

"Another appointment?"

"Sorry Josh," she replied sardonically. "I hate to trouble you with my medical issues."

"Is it the baby?"

"Nope. I don't meet with Dr. Young for another three weeks."

"Then what?"

"A dentist appointment."

He stared at her for a moment. "Do you have a cavity?"

"Nope."

"Sore gums?"

"Negative."

"Any discomfort whatsoever?"

She shrugged. "Not really."

He narrowed his gaze. "And you are going because…"

Another eye roll graced her. "Sam is making me."

"You're a big girl, Donna." He had a smirk on his face now. "I think you can take him."

She smirked back. "I bet I could, but he started freaking out when I told him last night that I hadn't gone to the doctor in four years."

"You know, Sam is nuts about dental hygiene."

"_AHH!_"

After her quick burst Josh looked at her wide-eyed for a moment. "And apparently you're just nuts."

Wisely she chose to ignore the statement. "I'll be taking a late lunch." With that, she turned to walk out.

"You keep on leaving me here all the time now."

Her blonde hair flew as she turned to face him. "Josh," she growled. "I have been to two doctor's appointments in the last three months. I don't think I'm screwing the federal government or you over on that one."

"Don't forget when I gave you the day off to go shopping."

"_Half_ a day and so what? That's more days off than I had had in previous six months."

Feigning innocence, he shrugged. "I'm just saying."

"You don't want to know what I want to say." She quickly took her leave. In honesty, she really could think of anything, but she decided that it was best to let his mind get creative.

Josh couldn't dwell on Donna's final words for very long. After she left, he had to go to Senior Staff and then have a long and lengthy discussion with Leo about the merits of the President stepping up and taking a stand on The Defense Against Marriage Act. He still had no idea if he won, but he made enough valid points that he was happy.

Then back to the real issue. The baby.

He went straight to his office and began pacing again. He hoped that if he got the blood flowing that he would be able to process everything. He now knew the general time that Donna was impregnated and he just had to trace things back. "I had just broken things off with Amy. That was a rough time. **'**Cause then she started slamming me in the face with stupid woman stuff." He looked around and thanked God that CJ wasn't around when that one slipped. With a shake of his head, he got back to topic. "So that Friday I went over to Donna's."

His hands were gesturing as though to urge himself on. "So the Friday is null. Then…" Josh made a mental note. "Oh God. That fits perfectly."

* * *

Sam was delighted as he made his way through his old stomping ground. Though he had quite a respectable job on Capitol Hill, he missed the pace and the bonds he made with the people in the White House. But he was determined to look on the sunny side of life.

He made it to Donna's desk to discover that Donna was nowhere to be found. "She went off to make some copies," explained a junior staffer who noted his puzzled stare. "She should be back in a few minutes."

"Thanks." Sam was about to take a moment and lounge in her chair when he saw Josh's door fly open. "Josh?"

"Sam!?" He looked frantic as he gestured him to come near, and when he was close enough to touch he yanked him into his office and slammed the door behind him.

"Whoa there, buddy. I think you drank one too many Yoo-hoos for breakfast."

"Shut up." He looked like a mad man. His hair was rumpled and hands quickly came up to muss it again. "I-I think I know who the father is."

The younger man whimpered, but went unnoticed. "Yeah…"

"You said I know him."

"I did."

"I guess that he has nicknames."

"A few."

"And Donna loves nicknames, so she would love to use them."

Oh shit! Sam's mind was getting blurry. He prayed that Donna wasn't the one who blew it. _Though there is a small tidbit of satisfaction in knowing that I can't get the blame._

Josh didn't notice the other man drift. "Well…I don't know his real name."

This brought the dark-haired man back.

"But I've got this." He paused. "Do you know a man named…Zangy?"

Sam knew that his mouth was gaping open, but he couldn't help it. After the shock and disappointment washed over him, there was another emotion. One he couldn't control. Hysterical laughter.

"Sam?"

He quickly gathered himself, nodding urgently at his friend's duress. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he hastily amended.

Before promptly bursting into rich giggles again over the look on Josh's face.

He was doubled over in guffaws that were taking over his whole body. He truly didn't know if he would be able to stand much longer.

"Sam?" This time his tone was less curious and more annoyed.

With a deep breath, he poised himself and looked at the man with seriousness in his gaze. "I have heard of him from Donna and Dawn. But I have to say," he was cracking as a smile twitched his lips. "There are certain…conditions that limit his ability to conceive."

"Like what?"

He couldn't help it as chuckles erupted again.

"I think he's the father!"

Donna timed herself perfectly as she opened the door. "Who's the father?"

Josh turned to her. "I remember distinctly a…" He felt stupid even saying the name. "A Zangy answering you phone the day that Dawn was moving in."

Donna had to giggle as well. "Josh-"

"I'm serious!" With a whine, the third most powerful man in the country stomped his feet in frustration. "Why couldn't it be this guy?"

"Oh God," Sam moaned as he stumbled to a chair to continue his merriment.

Donna laughed at both men before her. "For starters, I wouldn't sleep with a guy nicknamed Zangy." She stopped to look off and tap her finger briefly to her lips. "Though he was gorgeous."

"Donna!"

"His friend was _very _nice as well."

"Oh, Donna," Sam was cackling still. "Oh Jesus!" He stood up and stumbled toward the door. "I have to call Dawn."

"Ignore Sam," she said noting his increasing anger. "If you knew what Dawnie told us, you would understand." She paused to take a collective breath and to give Josh a moment to control himself. "Zack-a.k.a-Zangy, is a happily married man. He also has a rare condition that would make him unable to ever produce further offspring."

Just when Donna felt that he was about to ease down, a loud roar of laughter was heard in the bullpen. She didn't give a chance for him to retort. "The reason," one of many she mentally added, "that Sam finds this so funny is because from everything I saw and everything that Sam has heard tell of, Zack is fanatically in love with his wife."

"Really?" he asked skeptically.

"Josh, randomly as we were unpacking boxes he paused to whip out his wallet and show me a collage dedicated to his wife and two children." She paused. "And I'm jealous. That Kelly is quite a looker."

"So, it's not Zang-Zack?"

"Sorry." She paused. "And it isn't his friend. They both have the same ailment though Zack's been sterile a shorter amount of time."

"Fine." He wasn't a happy man as Donna walked out of the office shortly there after to take an extended lunch and go to the dentist.

And he had to admit that there was a new suspicion clouding his thoughts.

Sam came in to drop Donna off after lunch and decided that it would be best to pay a quick visit to his best friend's office to offer apologies. "Hey, Josh," he said coming up upon the open door.

The man in question looked up from the folder in his hand. "Hey."

The Congressman took this as invitation enough and stepped across the threshold. "I-I just wanted to say sorry for acting like a real ass earlier."

Josh's eyes narrowed, but he offered no ill remark. "No. Sounds like I was a dipshit for thinking it."

Yeah, kinda is what he wanted to say, but Sam opted for a flick of his wrist and a**,** "Nah. I would have thought the same thing." An awkward moment passed and he thought it best to speak again. "So…we're starting a movie night over at Donna's and Dawn's. We all thought that before too long Donna won't be able to get out and this way she won't feel all bummed out about it when it happens. She can just already be used to the disappointment. Wanna come?"

"No…sounds like you guys have a thing set up."

He shook his head. "No thing. This is the first week. I get to choose the movie the first time around and Dawnie's second. Donna already admitted that she wanted to watch a cheesy romance movie so I'll be glad to slip you in the third place spot."

"I was going to work on some stuff for next week with Leo tonight." He just hoped that Leo didn't burst in with plans cause he was pulling this out of his ass.

"Are you sure? I was thinking about a manly action, but then I decided that there would more than likely be more complaining than enjoyment. So I decided on a good comedy. I thought _Monty Python_, but that can be overdone. Then I thought about something a little more on the side of unusual, but _Delicatessen _might not be their cup of tea."

"Sam…"

"So I think that after this meeting I have to go to down at Harper's office I will go pick up some Mel Brooks. Nothing beats a good _Men in Tights_."

"Sam."

"I know that _Spaceballs _is a classic as well. In fact…they all are pretty funny and I think that the girls would get a kick out of them. Even if they have already seen them. That's the beauty about the art of comedy. Good stuff never gets old."

"Sam!" That finally got the man's attention. "I can't and I have a meeting in here…well now."

"Oh." Disappointment befell the younger man's face. "That's fine. I-I'll give you a call this weekend or next week and we can get together for lunch."

"Sure."

But Sam could tell as he made his way out of the White House, that Josh wasn't going to be anticipating his call.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

A/N: A big huge thanks to everyone for reading this and being patient. If anyone read the little collab Holly and I did, it mentioned that I am experiencing a little writer's block. I will admit that it is actually Chapter Twenty I am stuck on. (I have had Eighteen and Nineteen done and on reserve because I think I hit a writing drought after a flood last week.) Sorry, guys. I am trying! I know what I'm going to do, but I'm having trouble sorting through all the emotions to make it coherent on paper. I have too much Donna hormones and Josh hormones flowing through my mind.

I have to thank Holly as always. And we have to mention that our site, The Order, is almost done!! (thanks to Holly, Mandi, Katy and more Holly)

Then, I have to again thank you all for reading this and sending me emails and reviews. The fact that you all like it so much is completely mind boggling.

And though I say this every time, if you ever wanna give me some negative feedback or you see a mistake, don't hesitate to email me. I know that I'm not perfect and I miss things. I try to keep the timeline straight and the characters as true as can be, but sometimes the situations just get out of control.

And side note: I know that the Congressional Ball is normally held in December from what I gather and this is earlyish-Spring. I just needed a ball.

****

Chapter Eighteen

"I'm going to a ball, I'm going to a ball," Dawn said as she waltzed around the living room. Not only was her morning class canceled, but she was getting to go to a ball.

Donna smirked as she finished making herself toast. "Sounds like it."

Now Dawn was skipping. "Prince Charming asked me to the ball last night. He even said that he would give me his invitation so I can make a scrapbook."

The older woman laughed, but she remembered when she would have felt the same. It was ironic that in her dream job she would have such dream experiences, but now she was so blasé about them that it didn't matter.

"Are you going?"

"Probably not," Donna said with a shrug.

"It's going to be held at the White House."

"I know. The Congressional Ball happens every year. I just normally don't get to go. I went once when Josh and Sam got me in. It was lots of fun, but I doubt I'll get in this year."

"Why?"

"Well, normally Josh has had work to do. Breaking guys' kneecaps, that sort of thing." She shrugged. "And even if he doesn't…I doubt he'd ask me to be his guest."

"You could get your own way in."

"Maybe, but I always go through him."

"Please?"

She shook her head. A month from now she would probably begin to show. That seemed to be the luck in the Moss family. Four and a half months and she would be as big as a blimp. By the time that week thirty-four rolled around she wouldn't be able to walk.

"Well…" Dawn pouted out a lip. "That takes away a little bit of my fun, but I will survive."

"I was worried," she snickered.

The brunette headed over to the sofa. "You should get to work."

Donna groaned but followed the command and made her way to the office.

Ever since the day that Sam got giggly in his office, Josh had been more and more distant with her. Though only a week, it really did pain her. She tried to make things right, but everything had been business the past few days. She hoped that she could change it a little today.

"Hi," she chirped as she made her way inside his office.

"Hey."

Donna stopped dead in her tracks. "You didn't sleep last night."

"Huh?"

"You didn't sleep. Why didn't you sleep?"

That certainly caught him off guard. He had forgotten how attuned Donna could be to him if she tried. Apparently she was tuning in this morning. "I-I slept."

"No you didn't." She laid the papers down on his desk so she could fold her arms. "And you didn't have a lot of work, so why?"

Josh didn't want to admit that the reason was that he couldn't get his jealous mind off of her and that he was thinking about her so much that he could barely concentrate on his work. He didn't want to say that Leo had pulled him aside yesterday and asked if he needed to transfer Donna in order for him to get his Deputy back. "I always have work to do."

"Yeah, so you had no more than usual."

"I make no quips when you come in here and haven't had any sleep."

"Okay, Josh. If that is your reasoning then I will let you off the hook as soon as you tell you're going to have a baby." The words made her eyes grow wide. Then she had to bite her lip hard to keep the onslaught of tears from pouring down her cheeks. That was one of the many reasons that she lay awake most nights: because Josh was having a baby.

He noticed her reaction and took it simply for the fact that she tried her best to not talk about the baby at work. Everyone could admire how Donna held herself up with pride and never asked for special treatment for any task. With a grin he tried to lighten her pained expression. "Can you tell? I was afraid that the weight would go to my waist, but seems to have gone straight to my ass."

The flip of his hand was what caused her to chuckle. She quickly swiped a renegade tear and added with a tiny sniffle, "More along the lines of your head."

This was the closest they had been in what seemed months. All reality said that it had been only days, but it was more than either had wanted to experience. Both wanted to be close, but both had had reason for trying to distance themselves. "Well now that the first ego crack of the day has been established, we can get to work."

She gave him a skeptical look. "Okay. Why didn't you sleep? Date?"

He rolled his eyes. "No date."

"Heard Joey Lucas was back in town. No hot sex?"

"You saw her last time…she was pregnant too. And no hot sex."

With a smirk she nodded. "Mediocre sex?"

"No sex," he grumbled.

Her gaze soften. "Did you have a…"

"No." He looked down at his desk. They had long ago made understanding that he didn't like talking about the shooting or any of the effects of it. Effects that only she knew from her time taking care of him. "No," he stated again.

Now Donna went into ponder-mode. Normally this was something that Josh found adorable-or annoying depending on the hour. Today he found it poignant only for the fact that it was a state that he had been trapped in for weeks and he hoped that she suffered there. "Donna. Work."

"Yeah." But it was clear: their bodies would go to work while their minds would continue to wonder.

* * *

Sam was really beginning to worry. He had called Josh at home a few times since last Friday and now it being Thursday, he had a feeling that another weekend might go by on estranged terms with his best friend.

Donna assured that Josh simply had a lot of work to do. She mentioned that he was distant with her too and was probably still trying to grasp the pregnancy. After Sam relayed there phone conversation she pointed out that he was probably offended that he had known about the pregnancy and the father when Josh was left in the dark.

"He takes that stuff seriously, Sam. I really can't believe that you admitted that you knew the father."

"I wasn't about to lie to the man. He deserved to know that and more."

"I know," she whispered.

"Why don't you just tell him, now?"

She released a frustrated sigh. "Sam, it isn't that easy." Interpreting his silence she added, "I know it sounds that easy but it isn't. I still have all my reservation about how it would affect Josh's career and then the fact that I have to have a job to support this child. Even if Josh would care for the baby…he could lose his job and so could I. And that would leave two broke former government employees and a mouth to feed. Dawn would have to move out so it would affect her too."

"Yeah," he mumbled knowing that he was never going to win. "Is that all?"

Tears began to flow down her face as she looked into his eyes. "I'm scared," she whimpered.

"Oh, Donna." He quickly made his way across the sofa to embrace her in a hug, but she pulled away from his touch.

She needed to say it. To prove how weak and selfish she was to the world. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what he will think and what he will do. Scared about how he will feel about the baby." A small sob broke from deep inside, but she continues on. "And scared about what he will think of me."

Tears nearly filled his own eyes as he thought of the other night. He hated to see her like that. And he hated to see Josh like that. He wanted to reassure both of them that it would all be all right, but he didn't know. He didn't know.

But what he did know is that he wanted his best friend back. He wanted his drinking buddy that he could go with on a Sunday afternoon and watch a football game while eating pizza and drinking beers. A guy that he could have a debate of how best to stimulate education reform during the commercial breaks unless they saw a hot chick in a bikini in the ad.

He wanted Josh.

With a shrug of his shoulders he picked up his phone and dialed the familiar number. If he timed it right he would catch him just as he made his way back to the office from Staff. "Josh Lyman's office."

"Hey, Don."

"Hi Sam," she said warmly. "Can I help you?"

"Is he in?"

"He's making his way back from Staff as we speak."

He heard her pull the phone away and inform that Sam was on line two in his office and then something about a Lewis wanting to reschedule till after lunch. CJ's voice was also heard, but not translated.

"CJ says hey to ya, Spanky," Donna relayed. "And Josh is on his way to his office."

As soon as she put the phone down, Josh picked it up. "Hey, Spanky."

"That one isn't going away, is it?"

"I remember one time that you wanted to be called The Housekeeper. Wanna trade?"

He pondered for a second. "No."

"What can I do for you?"

He was playful, but Sam could hear that his tone was still a little on the hostile side. "I was just calling to see what was up."

"Work. The usual."

"Well, that's always good. Doing what you can handle." Sam grimaced at how lame he was sounding now.

"Sam, why are you talking all lame?"

"I really don't know," he sighed. He took a rebounding breath. "Anyways…tomorrow is movie night again and I wondered if you wanted to join this time. Dawnie's choosing and she promises that it's going to be good. She keeps on dropping me hints about needing to go buy herself some more fishnets. I have to say that I'm lost. As long as it's not _Pretty Woman_, I'm good to go."

Josh snickered. "Fishnets?"

"Yeah. I have to say that I didn't even know that she had _old_ fishnets. Let alone the fact that she needed to replace them."

The Deputy Chief of Staff exhaled a breath. _He would be around enough to recite the whole apartment's wardrobes._ "I don't know."

"C'mon man. We can get together Friday and then talk about a game on Sunday. The Lakers are playing…Well, someone they are going to beat. It should be good."

He had to crack a grin. A good basketball game would be nice. "I don't know. I might drop by on Friday, but don't wait on me."

"Movie starts at seven."

"Kay."

As he hung up the phone, Sam was excited that the two of them could finally be bridging a gap that had been there a bit too long.

* * *

With a blink of the eye Friday night was on the horizon. Donna had been preoccupied trying to figure out what was going on with Josh and she hoped that he would come so she could pry a little more.

But as seven-ten hit the clocks, the room made the silent agreement that there would be no fourth man for the evening. "Let's get started," Dawn said getting off the couch she was sharing with her boyfriend and making her way to the VCR. "Popcorn?"

"I'll grab it," Sam offered going to the kitchen.

"I really hope you guys like it," Dawn stated loud enough for all to hear. "It's definitely a little bit on the side of unusual."

Sam came in with two giant bowls of popcorn and instinctively handed one to the pregnant girl in the chair before settling down on the sofa.

Donna didn't mind-she was in a munchy mood.

"_Rocky Horror Picture Show_?" Donna and Sam muttered through mouths of food as the title flashed across the screen.

"Yup," Dawn beamed. "And I know _all _the audience participation."

"Lord help us all."

And they settled down for an interesting evening.

About thirty minutes later**, **the phone rang. Donna was still reeling from going through the Time Warp. Twice. Dawn had insisted on doing it once again they all had learned all the moves. Now she was intrigued that Sam actually knew the words to Sweet Transvestite, but opted to answer the phone out of necessity. "Hello?"

"Hi."

"Hey, Josh. We kinda went on when we realized that you weren't coming."

Only to himself would he admit that he chickened out. He couldn't stand the thought of Sam and Donna together. Especially after he found out late that afternoon that the only man that had been spotted making regular trips to her apartment was a one Sam Seaborn. "Had a little bit of work that I wanted to finish up before the weekend."

"That's fine," She said casually swaying a bit to the beat. "We aren't really doing much here."

"Hit it! Hit it! _I'm just a sweet transvestite. Sweet transvestite. From Transexual, Transylvania." _Sam and Dawn belted at the top of their lungs.

"Yeah…" Josh had no earthly idea _where_ to go with a crack about that one.

"_Rocky Horror_," Donna muttered in embarrassment.

"_I_ _see you shiver with antici…_" Sam's voice could almost be heard over Tim Curry's.

"Say it, say it!" Dawn yelled. "Master."

"_…pation_," Curry finished.

"_What the fuck is masterpation?_ " She bellowed so loud that Donna was sure the neighbors were about to call the cops.

"I would hope so," Josh said after waiting a moment to see if he would hear any more of the show.

"Yeah."

There was a long awkward pause. "I better go."

"Well…we might watch another movie after this one is over if we aren't too tired. You can always feel free to drop by."

"Yeah. I might."

As Donna hung up and threw a handful of popcorn at the rowdy duet. She figured that she might as well change into her pajamas and wash off her make-up because there would be no special guest tonight.

* * *

It was only midnight, but as he saw Sam's car in the lot, Josh figured that he would be able to catch the tail-end of whatever the second movie selection had been. He just hoped that it wasn't another 1970s musical.

He knew that it was a juvenile action, but he checked in the rearview mirror to make sure that he was looking alright. Not that it really mattered, but he had changed himself into a pair of nice jeans and a t-shirt. At least he _thought_ he looked good.

There wasn't any light under the door, but he attributed that to having the lights off for the movie. As he knocked, he didn't notice that there wasn't any sound either. _Besides, Sam is still here._

_

* * *

_

"Mmmm," Dawn moaned as she snuggled closer to her naked boyfriend. They were both still in post-coital bliss.

"Yes?" he said as he gazed upon her with a lazy grin.

"I wasn't talking to you," she teased.

"You 'mmmm'ed me."

" I was 'mmmm'ing myself." She snickered and moved closer. "I was quite 'mmmm' worthy."

"You were," he said dipping down to nibble her throat. "I think I might have to make you say nonexistent words all over again."

"If you insist." As they were about to begin, both heard the sound of a knock on the door. "Sam?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I hear."

"I think Donna's asleep," she whispered.

"Probably."

She pushed him away from her with despondency. "Well, go get it."

"This is your place," he groaned in the process of retrieving his boxers.

"And I'm naked."

"So am I," he whined in a fierce whisper. But soon enough he was covered. "What if it's your family?"

"Then at least you can say that you died a happy man," she joked as she looked down his front.

"Dawnie!" With a quiet shriek he snatched his undershirt.

"It's not them. Go."

He was mumbling so incoherently that even he could not understand what he was saying as he made his way across the living room floor. A curse escaped his lips as he stepped on an overlooked piece of popcorn while nearly toppling onto the coffee table as he pulled the shirt over his head. Then with a loud sigh, he unlocked and swung open the door. "Josh."

* * *

Josh stood there in utter shock as it all washed over him. They weren't watching movies. Sam was here for the night. And Sam had been having sex.

Then another blow. "Sam?"

Neither man had to look to know who was calling. "Josh is here."

"I-I just had stopped by cause Donna said you might be watching another movie."

"I was sleepy," Donna said coming to the doorway wearing flannel bottoms and a man's white undershirt. One much like the one Sam had on currently. "Sorry."

"Yeah." His shock was plain to see. "I have to go."

"Josh?" They practically called in unison.

But he was already out of earshot.

He didn't realize that there had still been so much doubt in him beforehand about the matter. But he realized that a man that had seen it coming wouldn't cry as much as he did on the long drive to loneliness.

****


	20. Chapter Nineteen

A/N: Well guys…this is it. The last chapter I had finished before my writer's block kicked in. I guess I have been delaying a bit in hopes that it would go away, but it hasn't. Besides that difficulty in wanting to word things just perfectly right, I have had a few other things to help keep me away from the computer.

This chapter is dedicated to all of you who have ever had a hallucinating aunt stay a week too long, those with demanding nieces, best friends who work their sanity away on websites, and all of you who have ever started a saltwater aquarium. (If any of you know good pointers for clownfish in 10 gallon tanks, give me an email.)

Thank you for your patience, everyone. I assure that I know where I'm going, but I am so panicked to word it right that it might take me a while. Characters just do that to you sometimes. Damn them and their crazy emotions.

Thanks Holly for trying to help me! That's what best friends are for.

As always feel free to email me with the bad- I can take it….maybe. giggle Hope you all enjoy!

****

Chapter Nineteen

"Well I have a feeling that something went wrong," Sam commented as he looked out the still-open front door.

"Ya think?" Donna snapped. She then went over and picked up the phone and dialed Josh's cell number. As predicted**,** he ignored her call.

"I have to say that I wasn't expecting _that_."

Donna folded her arms and sank down into the closest seat. "I have no idea what he's thinking about this."

Sam pondered for a moment before opening his mouth. "Well since I haven't really talked to him yet about my relationship with Dawn, he probably thinks that you and I are together."

The blonde's eyes turned to fiery ice as she narrowed her gaze. "Actually Sam, that _was_ what I thought. I just didn't want to say it."

"Oh." After a short pause, he sensed that her mood wasn't about to improve. "I think I might go back to bed."

"Have fun banging my roommate," she mumbled as he made his way to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled**,** turning to face her. "I'm sorry for starting movie night! Sorry for getting in your way here! Sorry for loving you and Dawnie so much that I wanted to be protective and answer the door even though I whined about getting out of bed! _I'm sorry!!"_

Donna nodded. "Thank you."

The man was nearly growling and he made way back to his girlfriend's bed.

"You _love _me?" Dawn asked sweetly when he crawled under the covers again.

"God, help me," he whimpered.

* * *

Monday morning was horrible on everyone who had made a trip to that apartment between Friday night and early Saturday morning. Sunday had been pretty excruciating as well.

Josh had succeeded in avoiding Sam and Donna and everyone for the whole weekend. He slipped in Saturday morning at about three o'clock in the morning and corresponded with Leo by phone citing that he needed a two-day vacation.

Donna had made herself sick from worry. She'd been barely able to keep any food down and couldn't get to sleep until it was close to time to get back up again. More than facing the wrath of Joshua, she dreaded witnessing the pain that she had seen right before he ran off.

But a determined woman she was to make the most of a bad situation. She had to-they were all she got dealt lately. When she walked in the White House doors, she masked her emotions with a smile. "Hey CJ."

"Hey there, girlie." She whirled to face her. "I have a bone to pick with you."

Her smile dropped. "Did he talk to you?"

"Well, _a_ he talked to me, but I don't know if it's the one that you're talking about."

Then she wasn't taking the bait. "Who did you talk to?"

"Sam. You guys have a movie night and you didn't invite me? C'mon, you guys make it sound like I have a life. Since we are never having poker games anymore, I would love to come over and join."

Donna's face perked up once more. "All right. Friday nights, my place. Movie starts at seven and the first-timer has to bring the dinner."

CJ smirked, but didn't protest. "What's good for everybody?"

"Oh," the younger woman wiggled her brows. "That has to be confirmed the day of with the pregnant hostess."

The Press Secretary was chuckling as she made her way toward her office. The deputy Deputy Chief of Staff was not.

Josh didn't say a single salutation as he walked over to her desk as she began to unload her stuff. "What time is my first meeting today?"

She looked over with wide eyes. "F-From the looks of things," she was buying herself time while searching in her notebook. "A-After Staff at nine."

His only response was a quick nod before turning and walking off. "Josh?"

"Yeah," he said without facing her.

She took a deep breath. "I think that we need to talk."

"I don't." And with that, he was gone.

And she was left to wallow in unhappiness.

* * *

Josh was good. Donna and Sam decided that by Thursday. They had absolutely no idea how he could get by without being forced to talk about it. Josh was in his cool and calm political machine mode so no one paid much attention.

Another Friday night came about in record fashion. Donna knew it to be the fastest week of agony that she had ever experienced. She had a feeling that the insomnia had a role in the situation.

No one bothered to ask Josh over for movie night.

But CJ came bearing pizza, so it was a good night for all. Even Sam enjoyed _Dirty Dancing_, though he made sure that he complained enough to hide it well.

As soon as he left to go to the bathroom while the credits were rolling, CJ commented, "Sam liked the movie."

Dawn giggled. "He did." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Sam likes romantic movies, he just doesn't like it to get around."

The other women gave an obligatory "Awww." Then the redhead added, "You need to keep him, Dawnie. He's worth the effort."

"I know." She was beaming still when he made his way back in the room.

"What are you guys saying about me?"

Donna shrugged. "She was just telling about the sex."

"Dawnie!" His face was crimson.

"Leave him alone," his girlfriend commented with an eye roll. "CJ was just saying that you're a keeper."

Sam began to relax. "Well, okay. Chat away, ladies."

They laughed and chatted away for a minute before changing topics.

"Josh has been attacking this next vote."

The room went silent as the Press Secretary continued. "Though it's not that important. He's been attacking the Hill like his life depends on it. Leo decided that he just needed a go around the track. Can't wait to see what he has done by the time it all goes to a vote on Wednesday."

"Yeah," Donna said quietly.

The other woman wasn't dense, but she decided that it would be best not to pry. As most things do, this would probably land on her desk after it had exploded into something that she would have to work her ass off to spin.

* * *

A whole workweek had went by since the 'Night That Could Not be Mentioned,' as Donna had dubbed it in her mind. She hoped that the start of a new one would mean new opportunities to assure Josh that she and Sam never had and never will have any sort of romantic relationship.

"Josh?" She came into his office that morning determined to give him his schedule and a little piece of her mind all at the same time.

"What time's my meeting in the Oval?"

"You have fifteen. Look--"

"Staff after that?"

"Yeah."

"Great." He started gathering papers. "Do I have a lunch today?"

"Not yet."

"I am going to try and keep it free."

"All right…Josh."

"I need to get this together for briefing the President and Leo."

"Josh!"

He looked up at her and read her mind. "I don't need an explanation. I was hoping that after a week you and Sam would figure it out. Ginger told me that even your roommate tried to call last week. I don't need to have you guys explain."

"Yes you do."

"I have to go." He grabbed a stack of files and ran past her.

She stood there with her arms folded and waited until he came back in moments later. "Donna…?"

"Here," she snapped shoving the needed folder into his chest before dashing past him and straight to the bathroom.

* * *

Josh knew he was being impossible. He figured that a mature man would give his best friend and his…assistant a chance to explain things.

But Josh knew that he wasn't mature.

Not when it came to things like this.

Not when it came to Donna.

So he would hold off until after the vote on Wednesday. After that he would have to come up with another game plan that would make it hard for people to recognize what he was doing.

* * *

But as the two-week anniversary came about, people were starting to notice. The drift with Sam could be ignored in the workplace due to the Congressman's new position, but people could see that Josh was more curt with his senior aide than ever before. A darkness in his mood was also present no matter the proximity of the woman in question.

And Leo had had enough of it.

The staff was exiting the Oval Office Friday after the daily meeting and The Chief called to his Deputy. "Hey, Josh. Come with me to my office real quick."

The younger man thought nothing of the request as he made his way to Leo's office. "Yeah?"

"Shut the door, will ya?"

Josh arched a brow but followed the demand. "Is there a problem?"

"You tell me," he said motioning for him to sit.

Josh absently shrugged his shoulders as he sat down across from his elder. "The vote went fine."

"The vote went great," he amended. "But that isn't what I was talking about. Did something happen? More to the point, did something happen between you and Donna?"

Josh was silent for a moment before clearing his throat and shaking his head. "No. No." He cleared his throat once more. "Nope."

"Josh," he growled in his non-threatening voice.

"I-It's nothing. I was just taken aback a little when I found out about the father of Donna's baby."

"Who?" He was as curious as the rest of the office.

It physically hurt him to say it. He looked down at the floor. "Sam."

"What?" Leo was too shocked to be a comfort. That was one that he would never have suspected.

"Yeah," he said bitterly before meeting his mentor's eyes. "Caught me a little off guard when I went to Donna's Friday night."

A pause. "Why were you going to Donna's Friday night?"

"Movie night, but--"

"You know. I heard something about that. Apparently CJ went there last week and I think it was Charlie asked to leave early so he could go this time." He saw the young man's face. "Sorry. You were saying?"

"Well…I was late and it was a little after movie time. Sam was still there."

"Oh." That was all he needed. "Can you work with Donna?"

"Is _this_ working?"

"Not really. It's putting everyone on edge. I can reassign her to the First Lady's office or the Vice President."

"No," he said, a little too quickly. "I can make this work."

"Josh." He came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know how you feel about her, but you might need to let her go and move on."

Josh's gaze said it all. "I can make this work."

"Fine. See that you do."

And he was excused.

* * *

Even though it was movie night again, and the highlight on Donna's week, she was finding nothing to be cheerful as she watched Colin Firth and Hugh Grant battle for poor Bridget Jones. Only the faintest of smirks had come to her face when she realized that Sam and Charlie were going to be subjected to another chick-fest.

She was almost certain that she would either be fired or forced to quit before the baby was born. Josh was steadfast on not talking to her and she was certain that the feeling was not going to change. She was also certain that she could not tolerate standing there and watching both of them in misery.

Running away and being miserable in the corner where she couldn't see him, though, was becoming more and more acceptable.

She felt so absolutely horrible that she really couldn't stand to watch the film anymore, and she excused herself to go to her room. Donna could hear that they had paused the movie and were more than likely talking about her and Josh with their hushed whispers. Her depression had now reached the low that she did not care if Sam and Dawn told the entire world that Josh was the father at that moment.

But as she tossed herself on the bed, she knew that it would probably change. As much as Josh hated her now, that piece of knowledge would multiply things and she decided that she was too weak to handle that. Only he could tear her down so.

As she lay there staring at the ceiling, she gently rubbed her stomach. Four months pregnant was quite feat. She was amazed how so much could change in such a small amount of time while so much seemed the same. _No…it all changed._

And she knew that there would be more to come.


	21. Chapter Twenty

A/N: Finally, _finally_ I have a chapter done. Sorry it has taken so long. I really had it finished Friday, but I haven't had the time to edit and post it until now. Don't know if it still flows well or if I have been off my mark so long that my tone has changed. Either way I believe I accomplished what I wanted with this chapter. It isn't perfect though, but then again I never think they are.

Thank you again to all who are reading this. If you want, you can check out the new website that Holly and I set up that displays our works. I have this and our collaborations and Holly has a plethora of Buffy fics. A friend of ours has graciously leant us the talent for the graphics and soon I think I might have a couple WW ones to put up. We are working on changing some of the font colors too, but other than that it all is looking good.

Thanks to Holly for that since she has just learned all about the art or website making.

And again thank you to all who read this and I keep my thing about emailing me with criticism on the table…Anyways, have fun and enjoy.

****

Chapter Twenty

Two and a half weeks. _Two and a half weeks_. Josh really couldn't tell anyone how he had made it that long avoiding Donna and Sam without someone shoving him into a closet and forcing him to listen to whatever it was they were so keen on telling. But he had.

And it was killing him.

He always knew that he depended on both of them as friends and confidants, but it wasn't until he was estranged from them that he realized just how much. He knew he would have to forgive them no matter how bad it hurt. He had to forgive to keep from losing them completely.

He just wasn't quite ready yet.

But sometimes he just wasn't given an option.

* * *

With a sigh, Donna turned off Sarah McLachlan and finished getting ready for work. Even thinking about Sam's teases of how her recent music obsession was going to make her and the baby depressed feminine hormone centers for the rest of their lives wasn't enough to invoke a smile. Knowing how much that Josh despised her helped in making nothing funny.

But like she did every morning, she made her way to work and found herself at her desk within the hour. She bit back her tears as Josh did the same mundane and bitter routine of asking about his schedule and then finding a way to be away from her until after Staff.

Even our fighting has to be within regulation.

But today things drifted from routine.

"Donna!" Josh said in the epitome of routine.

Donna made her way to his office and arched her brows in expectation of command or question.

"Where is the file we made last year on Harding?"

She had to only think for a second before heading over to the one of the cabinets in his office.

Then it happened. Loud and clear.

"Donna?" He asked in between shock an amusement.

"Nothing," she muttered as she tried to hasten her search.

Then again.

"Donna, is the baby trying to eat its way out?"

She found the file and turned to face him, cheeks flushed. "No." A protective hand came to her belly as another gurgle resounded through the room. She had known that she was hungry, but she didn't know that it would quickly become so _obvious_.

"Have you eaten anything today?" He sounded positively annoyed.

"Yes," she replied as she handed him the folder. "That should be enough for you. There might be a couple more things out in the cabinets by my desk, but that's the bulk of it." With that she turned to walk back to her desk.

"Hold on," he snapped as he tossed the file aside. "What _did_ you eat this morning?"

Flustered she stood there a moment before answering. "Food."

"Well, don't you have to eat enough for two now?"

She almost rolled her eyes until she realized that he seemed worried. "I ate a banana."

"A banana? The substance of growth is being done on a little piece of fruit."

"Believe it or not, Josh, but there has been a couple of studies that have proven bananas and all food in the fruit category have been considered healthy. Mind you that it's still highly controversial but--"

"Shut up," he countered with a shy smile. "I just meant that you should probably eat more."

"I'm a working girl. In order to do that I would need more money, but now I am saving up for when the baby is born. In order to eat more now, I would need a raise."

"Wow," he said with a blink. "You're good. You eat a banana for breakfast and now you need a _raise_."

She shrugged. "What can I say? I sit up late at night and think of ways to slip it in."

"I bet."

And then they froze. The two of them finally realized that this wasn't their routine anymore. _This _wasn't what they did now. _This _was the happiest moment they had had in weeks.

And as all normal and intelligent people, they had to end that quickly.

"I got to get to Staff," Josh said scrambling to grab files and head to the door.

"I have to return a few calls for you to the Hill. They want to see you before the weekend."

"Yeah," he glanced up and accidentally met her gaze again.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." With all his inner strength he pulled himself away from that spot and from those eyes and went out the door.

"Yeah," Donna said one final time before going back to work.

* * *

Staff just didn't get well for the Deputy Chief of Staff. Starting with the fact that the file her grabbed to go into the Oval Office was completely wrong.

"Josh," Toby called for backup in the middle of a heated debate to get back into the fight on school prayer. "Give the statistics that you got from OEOB."

"Yeah," he said opening the his blue folder. "I have here…" He looked up wish boyish confusion. "The numbers I have here will get you any deal within the city."

"Huh?" CJ asked.

"Pizza, Chinese, maybe a little Italian. That nice deli we like to get delivered here as well."

"Josh?" Toby lowly growled.

He tried to pass it off with a sheepish smile and a shrug. "I grabbed the wrong thing off my desk. I pulled this last night for dinner."

"Okay," Bartlet chuckled. "I wanted to do this later anyways. What's next?"

"That's it,Mr. President," Leo answered.

"Then I am sure that I will see all of you before the day is out in some form of crisis or another," The President added with a flip of his hand gesturing all to leave the room. As they all turned to comply, he tossed out. "You need to check up on Donna, Josh. Never in the first term did she let you get the takeout menus in here."

"Sorry, Sir."

"Apologize to Toby. He's the angry one. Me…" He paused before sticking out his hand. "Leave that here."

Josh furrowed his brows. "Sir?"

"Leave that here. I want to check out what all I can get that I have never had the option of."

With a smile he obliged and walked out.

"Are you happy?"

Josh rolled his eyes and turned to the pissed Communications Director perched on Charlie's desk. "I apologize, but maybe this is a sign for the best. We can't fight this one yet. I said we should save it for the end when we can really pull it off. Or at least midterms."

"Dammit!"

"Toby," Debbie said calmly as she walked in the room. "Please refrain from shouting curses when the President is on the phone next door with delegates from the United Nations."

The man in question simply gave Josh a final glare and walked out. That left Charlie and Debbie to give Josh a look as he stood there staring off at the head secretary for the President's desk.

"Josh?"

"May I take that danish?"

"You have the munchies, Joshua?"

Charlie shrugged. "The President never ceases to remind me about how breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"It's…not for me. Donna," he hastily explained before reaching over and picking it up and heading out the door.

"That's fine, Josh," she sardonically replied. "I wasn't planning on doing anything but look at it anyways."

* * *

Donna was sitting at her desk typing up the revised version of a memo that Josh wanted sent to Ways and Means when a danish plopped in front of her. She looked up, startled.

"_That_ is breakfast food." And he turned and walked away.

She stared at the pastry in awe before looking to see if he was still in view. After confirming that he wasn't, she reached down and tore off the smallest piece and brought it to her mouth.

She tried not cry at the thought that it was the sweetest thing that he had done in weeks. Even if it was done with a sprit of callousness .

She wondered when the day would turn sour.

* * *

Josh practically hid around the corner trying to read her face as she noted that he gave her the gift.

They both knew that he was still angry, but he hoped that she would notice that he finally cracked a little.

And now that he did-secretly as to not give her the satisfaction-he was pleased to watch the emotions wash over her face at the sight of a danish. _You would think that I gave the woman another book on alpine skiing._

It wasn't until a couple hours later, long after he had moved away from his covert position, that he realized that what was the catalyst to pull them back together was the thing that had been driving them apart for so long.

* * *

But things did go sour. Granted, it took much longer than Donna had assumed, but sour they went. About nine thirty that night.

Josh decided that since he made a tentative truce with his assistant, he could now keep her for the first real late night working since the last big vote on the Hill. And as the man he was, he was going to utilize it to the fullest.

Her stomach churned a little, but she attributed it to the fact that the danish didn't sit well with the pastrami sandwich that didn't sit well with the brownie that didn't sit well with the ultimate nachos that she had ordered for dinner.

"Can you get me the…thing?"

She glance up at him. "Okay. Never thought that I would have to say this, but I didn't follow what you wanted." A pause. "Which thing?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I just hoped that you would think of something that I need to do and give it to me."

She got up and immediately regretted the speed at which she did. The nausea rolled over her so quickly that she was afraid that she was about to get sick.

"Donna?"

She held up a hand as she took a settling breath. "It's fine," she stated as she took another breath and clenched her stomach. "Really. Just…nachos and pastrami don't mix with danishes and brownies."

He merely wrinkled his nose in disgust. "But you're fine?"

"I will be." She swallowed and then went to retrieve the notebook she wanted. "Here." She said thrusting the binder his direction. "While you wait on that last phone call you can look through here and see if this is how you want the final version of the report to look."

"Excellent." He headed back to his office.

She sat there for a moment as another bout of nausea went on in her system. Then it dawned on her. This was the _perfect_ time to finally settle things with Josh. So tentatively she called for him.

"You don't have to be shy," he yelled. "There's no one here."

"Will you come here?"

He complied. "What is it?" He asked arching a brow.

She took a deep breath. "Sam and I aren't in a relationship and we never have been."

Well it was official. Josh's mouth was gaping wide open. Finally he managed a "…wha?"

"He's been dating Dawnie practically since she moved here." She swallowed down the bitter taste that was filling her mouth.

"So…you and Sam weren't…?"

"No."

She knew that he asked another question, but her mind could concentrate on nothing more but the sudden wave of sickness that overwhelmed her. Instinctively, she knew that this time was for real and took off running.

She didn't realize that there was someone there with her until the second pause between heaves. She felt him gently pulling her hair back and murmuring something about women's bathrooms. Then she felt his hand gently rub her back. Though the most romantic gesture ever, the emotion made her throw up even more.

Several minutes later, she was able to finally pull her gaze away from the toilet. "Oh God," she murmured as she wiped her mouth and the tears from her eyes. "I really don't like that part."

"Neither do I," Josh said in kind. Then his tone warmed as his voice lowered. "Are you okay?"

She smiled at him and neither one noticed that though facing one another, his hand was still on her back. "Yeah. Actually I feel better now than I have all afternoon. Sometimes you need to just start anew."

The face he gave was enough to make her burst out laughing.

Then the mood changed.

Never before had the moment come that they realized the glimmer of desire in the other's eyes. Here and alone, they saw for the briefest moment the lust that they expressed for one another. And they both felt the primal pull to consummate it.

But it seemed right as their lips were within inches of finally touching, reality came and shoved its dagger straight into their guts and consciences. And they both knew it.

"I…I have to go," Donna stuttered as she fumbled her way toward the door.

Josh wanted to protest. He wanted to call her back. But as she fled the room, he found the slightest glimmer of comfort in the fact that he knew that she wanted the exact same thing. And that was enough to floor him to the spot.

"Uhhh…Why are you in the women's restroom?"

Well maybe not to the _spot_, but Josh was most certainly floored.


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

A/N: Hi, everyone! The time has finally came around that I _finally_ have a new chapter done. I want to firstly thank everyone for your patience. I am sure that you are all probably brassed off that it took me so long for eight and a half pages.

And I _have **have**_ to thank Holly. For editing it and for giving me the ultimatum to get started. You are really the reason that I have written this cause God knows that I wouldn't have without you there pushing me along. The whole thing, not just the chapter.

Okay…sorry this is kinda a long author's note. I just want to tell something that every writer knows-the idea _always_ looks better in your head. That is the case with this. This chapter is the original idea that I had for writing the story. And of course it isn't as good as I planned, but it works.

That being said, I have to warn young readers that the language in this chapter gets pretty explicit. I apologize since my stuff really hasn't been thus far. I guess it's what the R rating is all about. (Now you will read it and comment about how it really wasn't. I just know that I normally don't say all this at one time.)

Thank you again and again. Enjoy!

****

Chapter Twenty-one

Donna exhaled a poignant sigh as she walked through the doors of the White House.

"Thanks for coming with me on such short notice," Sam said giving the arm he currently had hold of a gentle squeeze.

"No problem."

And she was truly under the delusion that it was the case.

Twenty-four hours earlier

With a happy tummy, Donna sat on her roommate's bed as the brunette couple strolled around in formal attire.

"Well…?" Dawn prodded of her friend.

With a shrug, the blonde leaned back to rest her head upon the pillows. "It looks fine to me."

Cheerful grins came across Dawn and Sam's faces. "Really?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. Then a pause. "But so did the last one."

Sam sank down next to his friend in defeat. "All three of them looked amazing on you, Dawnie."

"But this is my first ball…I never even had a prom. I didn't even get there because the limo was interrupted by…It doesn't matter. I just want this to be perfect."

The lone man sighed but couldn't resist her sincerity. He stood up to kiss her and announced to the room, "Then we better give them another look over." And giddily his girlfriend bounced back to the bathroom. It wasn't until she left the room that the truth came out. "I could care less."

"I know. But she does, so you will."

"Exactly."

They were quiet a moment before Sam ventured to ask. "Did she tell you the prom story?"

"Not really. Something to do with flying--" The ringing phone interrupted her thoughts. "Hold on," she said reaching for the receiver.

"Flying what?" Sam muttered to himself before drawing conclusions. "I don't want to know."

"Hello."

"Yeah. This is Dawn's sister. Is she there?"

"Just a minute."

"Tada!" Dawn said leaping into the room and posing before them. "Be honest, but in my two minutes alone in the bathroom, I decided that I like this one best."

"Me too!" Sam said without hesitation.

"Dawnie," Donna said with a smirk. "Your sister's on the phone."

Present

"You want anything?"

"I'm fine," Donna smiled as she released hold of her date. "Go and fraternize. I think I might check out the hors d'oeuvres. Charlie mentioned crab puffs." Then she gave a small smile.

"Ohh." He grinned and kissed her on the cheek. "See you in a bit."

As he walked off, she caught a glimpse of Josh eyeing her from across the room. Though in the midst of conversation, she could tell that he wasn't happy.

And here we go again.

Previous day

Donna and Sam felt like hours had passed in the few minutes that Dawn spent on the phone in a panic-stricken state. When she finally put the phone on the hook, both immediately asked, "What's wrong?"

Dawn sighed and took a moment to sit on the edge of the bed. "Family. Apparently…duty calls. She insisted that she and Kelly were simply calling out of courtesy. They were calling to let me know what was up."

"And that's is?" Sam questioned as he made his way to her side.

She simply shook her head and continued. "But what they were really saying is 'things are going to be rough the next few days and there really isn't anyone who isn't going to be occupied that we trust with Rosie and William besides you so will you please come here and watch children.'"

Silence filled the room as all digested what was being said. Donna was the first to speak. "Well at least they're good at subliminal messaging."

"Yeah," the younger woman snorted. Then she looked at Sam. "I have to leave now." Then as if there was a need to further herself, "I can't be there tomorrow."

"That's fine. Don't even worry about it." He pressed his lips to her brow. After a second kiss he asked, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No." She was adamant on that. "No. I want you to stay right here and away from…whatever the hell it is this time."

"Okay," he murmured into her hair as he kissed her once more.

"Is there anything we can do?" Donna asked.

Dawn smiled. "Please don't go walking down any downtown alleys in the middle of the night. That one always gets me."

"Deal."

Dawn pulled away and went to grab a bag to pack. She tossed a glance over her shoulder before digging into the bottom of her closet. "This was kinda what prom was like."

Twenty-four hours later

Josh had felt like he had taken a punch to the gut when he saw Donna walk in. It wasn't like he hadn't wanted her to come-hell, he had tried to convince her that she should earlier that week. It was the fact that she had came at someone else's urging.

Everyone had thought that Josh was content now with the knowledge that Sam and Donna weren't ever dating, but he wasn't as sated as expected.

In fact, he was far from it. Because he was still convinced of one thing: Sam Seaborn was the father of Donna's baby.

He assumed that he was still just being a bit judgmental, but as time passed and he remembered how Sam spoke of someone that they were close to as well as someone that had known Donna for quite some time, he realized that Sam had been trying to drop him hints while keeping Donna's precious confidence.

And he was angry about it. Not at Donna. Donna who was clung at the man's side. Not the woman who looked at him so fondly and kissed him on the cheek before he dashed off and went and talked with his congressional coworkers.

He was seeing red and it was all directed at one man.

The father of Donna's baby.

* * *

After a moment and several thoughts of leaving the room, Donna made her way over to her employer to say hello. "You look cranky." 

"So it shows?" he said offering a weak smile.

"You know what?" Donna asked before continuing on without a response. "You are quite a confusing man. First you know…you're mad at me about the baby. Then you are for abstaining from telling you about being in a relationship with a man that there is _absolutely_ no chance of me being in a relationship with. Now…now when I finally think that we might be good again, you're upset once more. Joshua, I believe you are more hormonal than the pregnant woman."

He took a breath. This was it. He had passed it off last week when he asked her the question. She hadn't answered him then, but it could easily be attributed to her nausea and consequential dash to the ladies room. Now there was nothing standing in his way.

Except for his fear of the truth.

"Is Sam the father of the baby?"

He didn't know her eyes could widen and then narrow so fast. "I really can't believe this."

"Huh?" he prodded.

"I really can't believe _you_."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

She fought the temptation to scream at him since they were still in the ballroom with hundreds of people milling about. Instead she leaned her weight up against the wall. With a sigh she leveled her temper to the point of speaking. "Josh," she lowly growled. "When I said that Sam and I hadn't ever been in a relationship, I thought I cleared this up."

"You two didn't have to be in a relationship to make a baby."

She almost slapped him. Then she realized he made the best point of his entire life.

"It could have just been a night of passion."

The nausea came back, but it had nothing to do with the baby. Everything was spinning around in her head and she had absolutely no idea what to do. What to say. All she knew was that just when she believed that her world was barely beginning to make any sense, Josh would swoop down and mess it up once again.

"Excuse me," she said stepping away from the wall and the man before her with inquiring eyes.

"Donna."

She put a hand on her forehead. "No. Please. I just want to step outside for a moment." When she saw that he intended to tag along, she flashed a warning gaze in his direction. "Don't follow. I want to be alone."

And she fled.

Several hours prior

"Well that was fast," Sam muttered to himself as he and Donna stood in the front room of her apartment just shy of two hours after Dawn had received the urgent phone call from her sister.

"Yeah." Donna then cast a glance to the clock. "Sam, it's past midnight. You should really get home. You have to be up early and you have the ball tomo--tonight."

He smirked. "You're right." He began to gather the things he hadn't when he drove his girlfriend to the airport. Then he spun around to face her. "You wanna go out with me?"

After a quick chuckle, she quirked her brows. "I am touched, but aren't you just a little too old for the middle school system? That and you seem to be going out with someone else."

The mention of Dawn brought a grin to his lips. "I meant to the ball. It's late notice and," he gestured to her stomach "I don't know how readily available dress are for…"

"We like the term 'pregnant women,' but we'll even take 'ladies in the family way.'"

"Yeah."

Donna shyly shrugged as she looked down at the floor. The were too many reminiscences of junior high now. "I dunno, Sam. I hadn't made any plans."

"I can check for a dress for you and have it sent to you...later today." He paused briefly to remind himself of the hour. "They have to have maternity dresses…right?"

"Since everyone came from a pregnant woman, you would think that the trend wouldn't be so taboo. But it is difficult sometimes."

"I will succeed." He then paused. "If you want to go."

"I would be honored."

_Later that day_

As Sam watched Donna across the room in her flowing lavender, he felt honored. She was radiant in a way that only a pregnant woman can. But then he saw her countenance change as she conversed with his best friend. And moments later, she was dashing from the party.

I can only imagine.

Though anger was already rising in him at whatever dumbass theory Josh was pushing now, he was able to walk over with a calm friendly look upon his face. "Hey, Josh. Is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?" The curly haired man asked with bitter resentment.

"I saw Donna flee and it wasn't exactly in the direction of the punchbowl."

He shrugged. "It's nice that since she was only good enough to warm your bed that you can spare the dignity to take her out in public with you." After seeing the blank stare upon the younger man's face, he went on. "I hope that it doesn't hurt your precious career any."

And Sam snapped.

Completely.

With a tug that was entirely more forceful than needed, Sam grabbed Josh by the arm and dragged him out of the first door he saw. From there he realized how close to the bullpen they were and decided that things would be best to move farther away from people.

"Hey!" Josh sputtered as he tripped along trying desperately to keep up in fear of being dragged.

Finally they reached an open office and Sam shoved him inside, taking a quick glance around and deciding the coast was clear. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!"

"_Me?_" Josh gestured wildly. "You do _this,_ and then ask what's wrong with _me?_"

Sam walked over and kicked the desk that Josh was leaning up against. "You've been a fucking asshole for months now! And you know what's most annoying?"

Josh's eyes turned icy cold. "Oh please. Indulge me."

"You would think that it would be your annoying habit of not letting it drop." He paused though both could tell he knew exactly what he was about to say. "Or maybe the fact that you had to keep on pointing a finger at somebody."

"You know I-" As he began to pull away, Sam thrust him back against the desk.

"But no," Sam snarled. "What fucking pisses me off most is the fact that you…_you_ get so unbearably jealous when Donna comes up pregnant."

"I am _not _jealous."

Sam growled once more. "No, you _aren't_ jealous at Donna for having a baby. You are jealous that _you _aren't the father. You are pissed that you were _too fucking chicken _to admit that you loved her and when you finally realized it and may have finally been at a point to tell her, she comes up pregnant."

Josh was silent as both men stared each other down.

"You are so fucking pissed that you can't see straight. And you want to take it out on the father. Because you tried to take it out on her and you realized that you hated yourself too much for it. So you assumed someone to fill the place. And you had to fucking choose me. _Me!_"

He gave the briefest pause to gather his breath and allow Josh a chance to say a word. When all the man did was try and walk away, he pushed back and continued again. "Well guess what? If you want to be pissed someone, _look in the goddamn mirror!_"

"Wha..?"

Sam sighed in frustration. "You know I'm not just pissed at you. I'm pissed at her, too. She's been thinking that keeping it from you would be best for you. Best for you both, but especially best for you and your career. How the _hell_ is that supposed to best? Huh? _Huh?_" He slammed a fist down. "Well time has proven that it isn't!"

"What the hell are you tal--"

"You know, I don't know why the fuck I kept hoping you would remember on your own. I hoped that one day you would wake up and call Donna or call me and say that you remembered what happened that night. Then again I don't know why the fuck I didn't just call you up and tell you two weeks after she found out. Two weeks was more than enough time for her to realize that her idea was _bullshit_!"

"I have no fu--"

And Sam knew he couldn't take it anymore. Really, he had known the moment he took hold of Josh's arm the first time in the ballroom that he wouldn't be able to keep quiet any longer. Though he knew that later it would simply be attributed to his inability to keep a secret. It was so much more than that. It was the fact that watching his two closest friends go on hurting themselves in such a way was killing him inside.

That and they were _really_ pissing him off.

"Josh, you are the father."

Both were surprised at the calm clarity that Sam possessed with the admission of the statement.

"No I'm not," came the expected denial.

"Yeah you are," his friend said running a tense hand through his short dark hair. "Yeah you are."

"I _can't _be! We never--"

Sam threw up his grooming hand in a demand for silence. "The night before Dawn moved in. You were at Donna's place and you both were drunk. All you knew is that you ended up at home."

Josh stood there in a stupor. As the words that Sam spoke to him began to slowly register, he had the decency to not blurt out something declaring the impossibility. If this was the story that Donna had told Sam, he was certain that it was valid.

He knew that he should comment on the baby or the integrity of the woman carrying the child. Instead he muttered something to himself.

"What?" Sam demanded as his irritation came flowing back.

"I said that Donna always did go on about my delicate system."

He knew that it was the shock that had Josh numb at the moment. He knew that it was the instability of the situation that made Josh go to humor as a defense mechanism. But he also knew that he was sick and tired of dealing with a problem that should never had been handle so terribly.

"_Holy fuck_!" Josh spat as he picked himself up off the floor and from the fist that had just made contact with his jaw.

"Don't you get it? _Don't you get it?_ _Donna's pregnant with your baby!_"

"_Yes! I get it!_" Josh sighed in frustration as he brought his hands up to cover his eyes. Then quietly he asked, "Can I just have a minute?"

"Yeah," Sam said almost shamefully.

When both men glanced up, they saw it.

Donna. Staring at them. Staring at them in horror.

Then she was gone. Lavender dashing down the hall.


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo

**A/N: **Thanks, everyone, for having such infinite patience with me. Sadly, I didn't start this chapter until this week—there was the DNC and the local volunteering and whatnot…and a bunch of other lame excuses, but there you have it.

And thanks to Holly, who is the only reason this story is being written. Thank you for literally writing out the outline that I was too disorganized to put together…like this sentence. And thank you for all the several ideas that I stole from you in the car. Emancipation proclamation, baby!

Lastly, thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed, as well as everyone who have visited our AWESOME website, The Order (hint, if you haven't gone, do so now). I'll shut up and I hope you enjoy.

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**Chapter Twenty-two**

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Donna didn't know what to shed her tears in the name of. Anger, sorrow, frustration, embarrassment, pregnancy, relief and dread all seemed to be worthy causes. The fact that she couldn't even decipher the emotion behind her tears made her sob all the harder.

She wasn't as upset at Sam as she believed was entitled. She was most certainly pissed. But it was the kind that had no chance of leading to years of bitter resentment and estrangement.

And then there was Josh.

Standing there watching the whole confrontation between the two men stirred her with more emotion than she ever could explain. She was saddened, enraged, humored and humiliated by Josh's reaction. And she currently she felt all of those toward the man himself. Along with pity. She pitied Josh right now.

So she decided that if Josh can pity himself, then she could too. Donna looked down at her gown and tried to straighten the lavender wrinkles before her, deciding quickly that it didn't matter anymore.

With a gesture that was more symbolic than cosmetic, Donna went to her bedroom and stood in the middle of the room. With a sigh of helplessness, she slowly reached behind her and undid the zipper of the garment until it fell to the floor around her. Gingerly she stepped away, avoiding the material as much as possible. She decided that comfort was needed in her life now and chose her clothes accordingly.

Sighing again, she walked over to the CD player and hit play hoping that something to soothe the feelings raging inside would come on to comfort her. Sarah McLachlan began to fill the air. "I don't know if this will help me or not," she murmured as she began to pace the room.

Donna knew with absolute certainty that Josh would be here tonight. In fact, she could almost sense that he was on his way. She just didn't know what to say, or better yet, how to say it.

* * *

Josh raced from the White House at illegal speeds. One for the fact that he wouldn't be able to calm until he saw that Donna was emotionally stable. Second was that he was worried that she could get herself killed in the distance from work to home. Only God knew how upset she was and how many tears had obstructed her sight.

That was why he was eased when he heard the sound of music inside her apartment. Then even more so as he heard her voice mingle in with the smooth tunes of an artist he couldn't identify. He leaned up against the door and tried to calm his own frazzled nerves.

Anger, fear and excitement were three hard things to control.

* * *

_"Truth be told I've tried my best, but somewhere along the way, I got caught up in all there was to offer. And the cost was so much more than I could bear."_

Donna quickly realized that the song wasn't going to calm her at all. But though it stirred her even more, saying the lyrics out loud seemed a liberating act.

_"Though I've tried, I've fallen. I have sunk so low. I have messed up. Better I should know." _She felt the truth in those words tonight. _"So don't come round here and tell me I told you so."_

* * *

Josh had been ready to pound on the door and begin his demand of answers. But then he decided to do something that he hadn't done enough these past few months. He listened.

_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals_

Josh couldn't breathe as he heard the lyrics.

And then Donna sing them.

_And the lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
I held so dear._

As he heard the gut-wrenching chorus another time, he softly rapped his knuckles along the door he had been leaning up against the past several minutes.

* * *

Donna heard the knock and hesitated. She thought briefly about hiding behind the couch, but knew that the stereo was up too high to make it convincing. She thought about just not going to the door, but then decided that Josh deserved more than that.

Finally she walked to the door. She turned the knob and faced the father of her baby with trembling conviction. Their eyes locked and neither one cared that the music was now blaring through the hall.

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed_

Josh needed to do something. As he looked at her and listened to the music, he felt that words-his words- would be inadequate. So as the chorus played on, he slowly moved by her and deeper into the apartment, walking over to the CD player and turning down the volume.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so_

She knew he was waiting for her to close the door before turning to face her, so she contemplated a final time of dashing out of it before shutting the room.

They looked at one another. They looked and they prodded the other one to speak because they themselves didn't have any words. Both knew that they _should_ have something to say, but the couldn't. Not with simple words.

Literally five minutes ticked away, both looking at one another before tearing their glances away to various unmoving objects. Then finally back to each other.

Josh was the first one to speak. "Hi. I'm not angry."

_Sleep has left me alone  
To carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong  
It's all I can do to hang on  
To keep me from falling  
Into old familiar shoes  
How stupid could I be?  
A simpleton could see_

"Well isn't this ironic?" she commented.

"Just a little," Josh had to admit. Then with a sigh he continued. "We need to talk."

"I know," she responded in a semi-whimper. "I know."

_Love has made me a fool  
It set me on fire and watched as I floundered  
Unable to speak  
Except to cry out and wait for your answer_

"Maybe we should…you know. Ditch the music."

_How stupid could I be?_

"The irony is helping to break the mood," she pointed out.

_Everything changes  
Everything falls apart  
Can't stop to feel myself losing control  
But deep in my senses I know_

_How stupid could I be?_

"Turn it off," Donna decided.

As the room grew silent, both worked desperately inside their minds to form the perfect words. She spoke first. "I'm sorry."

Josh had been in the middle of working on his statement of bitter anger, but the sincerity and simplicity of the statement cut right though him. He drew in a deep breath and paused, then turned to her with large, pleading eyes. "Why? _Why _didn't you tell me, Donna?"

With all her strength she willed herself not to break down. "I thought that I was doing what was right." She took a breath. "I was wrong."

"Oh, really? You think?!" he yelled before pausing. He thought about apologizing but decided he was entitled. "I just…It's my baby. All this time I was pissed 'cause--"

"Because you didn't know whose it was."

"Yeah." He looked at the floor before looking back at her. "Why? Were you worried about your job? We were drunk, for Chrissake!"

She narrowed her gaze. "Thanks for calling me shallow. No, Joshua. I thought it would look bad for you if rumors started that you had spent a night frolicking with your senior assistant."

"But then you found out about the baby," Josh pointed out as he made his way to her sofa.

"Yes, the baby," she said taking a seat next to him. "After I found out, I knew without a doubt who the father was…I'm not that promiscuous, no matter how much you thought I was."

"Well, all I was looking for was a name!" he whined.

"Yeah," she smirked. "Well, I first had to decide what I wanted to do. I was really considering an abortion, but then I saw this mother and her baby in a deli and they were so happy together. And she assured me that it would all be okay being a single mother. By this time I knew that I couldn't tell you so I would have to be raising the baby on my own. Though now I have to admit that this had a real _General Hospital _feel about it. I was kinda an Alexis and you were kinda a Sonny. Though you aren't a mob boss and I'm certainly not your witty and smart lawyer--"

"Donna?"

"Oh, God," she said rubbing her head. "I have spent too much time with Dawn and Sam." She furrowed her brows. "Where was I?"

"I think you were trying to explain why you couldn't tell me. And why Alexis couldn't tell the mob boss and babies at the deli."

"Yeah…You understand why I couldn't tell you, right?"

After a blink, "No!"

"Josh!" She looked up at him in shock.

"Is it really a shocker that I couldn't follow that last thought?"

"I couldn't tell you because your career. I know how important this job is to you and I now that you would also do anything for your family. I thought that I could somehow in some deluded way safeguard your career while keeping you close enough that you could still be around your child…at least until this term was over. Then I had no clue."

He looked at her long and hard. Then burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Oh my God," he cackled. "You _actually_ thought that would work? You thought that life would go on and I would have no questions about the father? That I would never inquire as to where the guy was?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I thought that you might just think that he was another one of my 'gomers'."

"Hey!"

"You have to admit that after years of crap, you deserve membership in the club."

"Look," Josh seethed. "Do you really think that this is the time to take cute little jabs at me?"

"Uhh…no." She looked down. "Sorry." After a second she added, "And thank you for not yelling at me. I know you have every right to be mad and everything, but--"

"_But?_ I see no need for _but_. I'm pissed!"

She looked at the red-faced man before her incredulously. "I thought you said that you weren't angry?"

"Are you kidding?" He snorted as he stood to stare down at her. "I lied to get in here." He took a deep breath and then raised his voice my hundreds of decibels. "_How the hell could you do this?_"

"Me?! Oh this is great! You lie to get in here so you can bite my head off. Well thank you very much, Joshua." She stood, opening her arms in his direction. "Well go ahead, take your swings at the pregnant woman."

"Damn right I will! I can't believe you!" He began pacing the floor while keeping his attention and temper directed at one person. "All this time you should have been telling me. Over and over again you should have _told me_!"

"You don't think you would have gotten it in the first half a dozen times I explained it?" she quipped.

He gave her a hard glare before sputtering, "Fuck off. No…you had…" he flared his hands wildly in the air. "You had months to tell me and you wait until the Congressional Ball? _The Congressional Ball?!_"

"Josh--"

"You didn't tell me!"

"Josh!"

"Was I not worthy to tell? Was I only worthy enough to screw?"

"Not really," she muttered under her breath. Then she said louder, "Stop yelling at me!"

He was growing darker. "Why should I? Let me guess, part of this _genius_ plan of yours was to run away to another gomer from the past. Dr. Freeride? Captain Wonderful? It could be like the last time! Huh?"

"Stop it! _No!_"

"Well if you don't think I'm good enough to be a daddy, then go!" He yelled as he flung his arm at the door. "Just leave then! I free you!"

"You're _freeing_ me?!" she snapped. "What are you? Lincoln?"

"Emancipation Proclamation baby!"

"Oh c'mon, give me a break already!" she screamed in frustration.

But he would not be discouraged. "We had sex and you didn't tell me! Then you call yourself my friend!"

"Maybe it was out of kindness," she countered bitterly.

"Oh and where's the logic in _that?"_

"You were horrible!" When she saw that he was for a moment thrown off guard she jumped up and rejoiced in victory. "Ha! That's right! You were pathetic! Worst lay of my life!"

"I was drunk!" He countered. "And you weren't even worth remembering, so…_Ha!_"

"If that's your logic then neither were you cause you didn't even remember you got some!"

"How couldn't you tell me who the father was!" He was hysterical and now muttering things that Donna couldn't understand.

"Glad we can sit down and discuss things tonight." She glared at the raging man before yelling, "Care for a spot of tea, Mr. Darcy?!"

"Who's Mr. Darcy?" Josh demanded. "Is he another of your gomers?"

Donna was beginning to think that he was too pathetic to yell at. "He's from _Pride and Prejudice_ you ass. Jane Austen."

"Well…" Any other man would have nothing to counter with that. Luckily for Josh he wasn't any other man. "Well, I don't need any pride or prejudice from you or Jane Austen! I have enough myself thank you!"

"You're making no sense now, Josh!"

"Well maybe I am and you just don't understand! Maybe I am the one making sense and you don't have any!"

"Josh."

"Let's go back to the Donna Moss baby plan: don't ask, don't tell. Do ask, _don't tell_!"

"_Josh!_"

The room grew silent as both attempted to stare the other into submission. Neither one had ever experienced such tension between themselves. That was also the key explanation as to why this conversation was failing miserably.

As the minutes ticked on, words weren't needed to convey their feelings, but the silence was slowly getting to them both.

"Emancipation Proclamation."

Donna slumped her shoulders. "Josh." When he shrugged she responded with, "Magna Carta."

"Declaration of Independence."

"Constitution."

"Federalist papers!"

"Articles of Confederation!"

"Mayflower Compact!"

"Treaty of Paris!"

"Dirty trick…Monroe Doctrine!"

"North Atlantic Treaty!"

Josh growled. "Stop with treaties! Sedition Acts!"

"Can we please stop?" Donna begged.

"Can't think of anything else, can you?" Josh sneered.

"Bill. Of. Rights."

"That's in the Constitution!" He did a small jump of victory.

"Conjunction Junction, _what's the function?_ It doesn't matter! _Can we please stop?!_"

After a pause he shrugged. "Guess so." He looked at her coldly. "But I won."

A growl. "This has absolutely nothing to deal with the baby."

"You're right," Josh said. With more control than he had shown since arriving, he made his way over to the sofa.

Thankfulness coursed through her body as she followed to sit next to him. "So let's talk."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

A long pause coursed through the room.

"Yeah."

"Yeah…"

And things faded off into silence.


	24. Chapter TwentyThree

**A/N: **Thank you everybody for being patient with me. Thanks again to everyone who has read/reviewed/commented. Thank you to Holly for all the many suggestions that I took her up on in this chapter. The 'red flag' and all of the Biblical suggestions all came from you. Hope everyone enjoys.

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And just to make things annoyingly clear, GO JOHN KERRY!!!!! (And yes, Nicole, Obama rocks!)

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**Chapter Twenty-Three**

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Dawn tiptoed inside early Sunday morning. Since the sun had only barely begun to rise over Washington, she felt the need to try her hardest not to disturb her roommate.

Running a tired hand through her hair, she made her way over to the refrigerator to find something to eat. Satisfied with the pizza box she discovered, she grabbed a cold slice and took a couple ravished bites. Then she made way toward her room, stopping briefly to glance inside Donna's.

But the bed was empty. And made.

At six in the morning.

On a Sunday.

Due to recent events, Dawn refused to take the situation lightly. She immediately ran to the phone and dialed the number for the White House office. When no answer came, she hung up and dialed Donna's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello! Donna!"

"Dawnie! Is everything okay?"

"Fine. I just got home. Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm fine. Actually you must have just missed me. I decided to get up and go for a morning jog. I had planned on doing that then eating breakfast here. But I'll come back home."

"No," Dawn reassured. "Do that. I am just going to call Sam and then go to bed."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

After that she dialed her boyfriend's number. A sleepy Sam answered the phone.

"Hi," Dawn said shyly as she twisted the cord in her hand. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm home."

"I'm on my way over."

"Sam—" But he had already hung up.

She giggled as she put the phone on the hook and made her way to her bedroom. From there she grabbed clothes and headed to the shower. Adjusted the water, she had just begun to undress when the phone rang. Figuring that it was Sam asking about breakfast she dashed out half dressed.

"Bacon and eggs, thank you."

A pause. "Dawn?"

Another pause. "Josh?"

"I thought you were in New York."

"I was." Immediately thinking of work, she responded, "Is everything all right? Do you need Donna to get to the office?"

"No. No. I was…I was just calling to see if she wanted to have breakfast. We hadn't really talked since Friday and I was just wanting to talk to her now that we both…you know."

"Oh, yeah." She had absolutely no clue. "She actually isn't here. She went out for a jog and breakfast at the park."

"Great. Thanks."

With a shrug she put the dead receiver back on the cradle and made her way back to the running water.

* * *

Donna was relishing her early morning outing. After getting off the phone, she had traveled the rest of the way to the park and then settled herself up for a long jog.

She was pleased that it took her a good hour of paced walking and jogging before she decided that water must be found. Quickly spotting the fountain she had been eyeing all morning,she made her way there and then to a bench close by.

Contentness filled her. Things in her life seemed to be finally reaching a bit of clarity. Josh now knew about the baby and she could safely admit that her plan was really bad. She and Josh had "talked," but more importantly, she and Josh had finally made peace with one another. They were on the road to true friendship and companionship again.

That and her baby were the two greatest gifts she could ask for.

And then came the banana muffin. Right in her lap.

With a start, she looked up. "Josh?"

"Hey," he said,taking a sip of his coffee. When he read the confusion on her face, he explained. "I called your apartment to see if you wanted to get some breakfast. Dawn said that you were here."

She smiled and assumed the rest. He knew that she wasn't going to eat and then go for a run so he decided to bring breakfast to her. "Thank you," she said tearing into the carbohydrated delight.

He settled beside her and handed her a bottle of water, which she graciously accepted as well. "I was up most of last night thinking…all of yesterday to be exact."

"I was doing a lot of thinking,too."

"This is going to be quite a challenge."

She struggled to swallow her bite of muffin. With strained effort she succeeded. "Yeah," she choked out.

Still looking ahead, Josh added, "But I'm up for the fight."

She laid her head upon his shoulder. "So am I." With a sigh of relief she reiterated, "So am I."

They sat in content silence for several minutes and watched people bustle around them—some jogging, some going for morning walks, and others going out to play with their children an a guaranteed day off.

And all was well.

* * *

Dawn rushed to the pounding door in a towel, knowing that it was about to be kicked open. She answered to find a near-distraught Sam before her.

"Is everything okay?" he asked as he pulled her into his arms.

"Yes," she sighed as she returned the embrace. "Everything is fine."

He pulled away to look her in the eyes. "What was it? What happened?"

She smiled and took him by the hand as she led him into the room. "I had already decided that it was time for you to get the _full _story. But before I start I will tell you that I spent most of the time simply babysitting Zack and Kelly's little kids. I have to admit that I hadn't realized how much I had missed Rosie and William until I got up there and started playing with them."

"So…that's all you did."

"Pretty much. Sadly with all the chaos going on, I played hide-and-go-seek and watched _The Princess Diaries_."

"_The Princess Diaries_?" He smirked.

"Yes. I went from adoring the movie the first five times to hating it for times six through fifteen. But then when I watched it the last three I had to give a grudging respect to Disney. It was really cute."

He smiled warmly at his girlfriend. "So what happened?"

* * *

Josh had spent the past twenty-four hours worrying about the subject so he figured he was more than entitled to broach the topic.

"We have to decide who we want to tell now and who we want to wait on until after the baby is born."

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to…"

He stared at her in complete horror. "This is _my_ kid, Donna. And I plan on having bragging rights."

"Sorry. Sorry. I just had wanted to make sure that we were on the same page when it came to what we were going to tell."

He cleared his throat and kept his gaze planted upon her face. "I am going to be a father. I am going to have a baby and I am going to have my name on its birth certificate. That kid is going to have my last name."

"Oh really?"

"Yes." And with a turn of his head he closed discussion.

After a minute she shrugged. "Okay."

* * *

Sam could do nothing but sit in numb disbelief as Dawn began to describe what had been going on the past few days. More than that, he was disturbed as she began to describe her family and her past.

"Hold on," Sam said shakily raising his hand. "Oh God. You meant…when you talked about demons, I thought you were speaking in metaphor. Oh my God."

* * *

A content silence continued through them. Both were enjoying the feel of the warm spring breeze and the sight of the people playing before them.

"I think we need to think about who we should tell and when," Donna pointed out knowing full well he had just made the same suggestion.

"We should probably go with soon on the timeline," he said gesturing toward her pooching stomach. "That's just my suggestion."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Who?" When she noticed that he wasn't responding, she cast his a brief glance a giggled.

He was staring straight ahead at two young boys playing catch in the grass. Neither one looked over the age of ten. His eyes were almost glazing over as a warm grin spread across his face.

"You're already planning the start of your own little minor league team there, aren't ya?"

He came back to reality with a shy smile. "I was just…well kinda." All Donna did in response was laugh so he decided to press on. "With Molly, Huck and the baby we have a good start. From there all we have to do is wait for Sam to start his herd of children. We can throw in a Young and then maybe CJ has a kid before all is said and done and I think that we are well on the way to having our own team."

"You are really something else," she chuckled.

"I know." He then turned to her. "Were you saying something before?"

"Maybe." She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I was saying that if we are planning on getting things out before the baby we need to decide who to tell."

"Yeah." He continued looking at the children. "We should probably make sure all is well with our parents. Have you talked to your mom?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I started, but I kept on getting unnerved."

"Well, after your mom we need to decide who is next on the schedule."

Josh looked at her. "Leo."

She smirked. "Been waiting for that one, haven't you?"

"I decided that first thing. First Leo and then the President. After that I figure that we should start telling the senior staff. Toby, CJ and then Charlie for good measure. Give everyone a chance to do some damage control before slipping it into the press. Hopefully we can do it all in a way that it really comes down as not a big deal."

"Deputy Chief of Staff makes love child with senior assistant. Yeah…that one will blow over real well."

"We'll see," he scolded.

She once again turned to face him. "That's really a good plan you know."

"Yeah?"

"The whole way that you plan on handling it. That's good."

"Thanks."

"Much better than my whole plan that after a few days of reflection I can openly admit to you was really deficient."

"To say the least," he snorted.

Donna waved her muffin wrapper in the air.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"This is my red flag." She waved the wrapper again for good measure. "To prevent things getting out of hand like before, I am imposing a flag rule. We wave flags of warning. But since there are no flags I am having to settle for the wrapper."

"What about me? I have no muffin wrapper."

"You can use your coffee cup."

"Fine." After a humorous pause he asked. "So we're going with my plan?"

"Unless we can think of anything better."

"Excellent." They went back to their musing over the children. Then Josh asked. "So what about baby names?"

* * *

"Are you okay?" Dawn asked when she was more than through telling Sam all that she felt he had a right to know.

"Uh huh," he nodded, though he was still trying to process what was real and what was a very strange dream.

"And before you ask again, no, nobody is going to eat you."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry to be so blasé about it, but can we move on? How was the ball?"

Sam snapped back from the strange universe he was dabbling in. "The ball?"

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"Well I mentioned ball and you squeaked."

He paused for a moment before trying his best to put on a diplomatic face. "Let's just say that things got very…dramatic on Friday night."

"Sam," she said curling up next to him. "What happened?"

"Well…there was a certain incident where Josh upset Donna once again. After that Josh then mentioned to me that he again thought that I was the father of the baby."

"And?"

"And I pulled Josh aside and explained that this couldn't be the case."

"Well, okay. That doesn't sound that bad, honey."

Sam nodded. "But in that explaining I also mention in explicit detail why that couldn't be the case."

"Because you've never been with Donna?"

"'Cause Josh is the father."

"Sam!" She whacked him on the shoulder.

"Sorry. But I assure you that it was appropriate."

"It better be because you just cost me fifty dollars."

"I'm sor—" He looked at her in disgust. "You took _bets_ on whether I would tell?"

She looked away in embarrassment. "If it's any conciliation, I only took the bet because Donna predicted that you would be the first to tell."

"Glad to know that people have faith in me."

Dawn flinched at the pain in his face. "I'm really sorry. But what happened? How bad did it get and is Donna going to murder you when she gets home?"

"It's quite an interesting tale in itself."

* * *

"Let me say here and now that we will _never_ take your mother's suggestions."

"Josh, you better have something to back up the insult of my mother. You always have to have substantial evidence to bash a woman's mother."

"One word: Donnatella."

She stopped mid-step to glare at him. "Thank you."

Josh smiled and shrugged as he picked up step down the sidewalk once again. "Though I love your name, I know that many hear it and think that your mother must have forgotten the name of the famous artist…or the Ninja Turtle."

"Har har." She gave another quick dirty look as she caught up. "Well, I have no qualms with your mother. She had very lovely names for her children."

"Thanks."

"Though I won't be using Joshua for a first name. Maybe a middle."

"Deal."

"But maybe we could use Jo—" Her eyes went wide as she processed her words. Of all people in the world, she knew how tender a subject his sister was. And she knew how hard it was for him to speak of her—especially at unexpected times.

"It's okay," he said gently taking her hand. He then softly whispered, "Thank you."

"For w—"

"For understanding. For…being you. And I like Joanie too." Sensing the emotion now, he tried to lighten things up. "Better than Donnatella. Or Leonarda."

"Shut up." Though grinning she decided that it merited enough for a playful smack. They then turned onto her street. "Do you have suggestions for baby names? We'll start with girls."

"Allison."

"Olivia."

"Betsy."

"As in Ross? No. Jordan."

"Maybe. Claudia."

"Maybe. Kira. Or Kyra. I like Kayln too."

"Didn't you just say the same name three times over? And no to all." He caught her look. "Stop pouting. Hannah."

"You like old-fashioned names."

"And you like new-age hippie ones."

"Olivia?"

"Shut up. Next?"

"Aubrey?"

"Aubrey…that's kinda nice. What else?"

"Rachel."

"Me and my traditionalist taste can go for that one too." He held the door open for her as they made way into her building.

"Good," she offered as she walked past. "I was quite panicked as you can tell."

"Where's that muffin wrapper when you need it?"

* * *

"So start at the beginning. What happened?"

Sam ran a hand through his hair as he tried to think back on how the events Friday had transpired. "Well…I saw Josh and Donna talking, which was quickly followed by Donna running out of the room."

"I see," Dawn said as she settled on the sofa for a good story. "My guess is after that you went and told off Josh."

A look of annoyance came to him. "Are you wanting to hear the thing or not?"

"Okay."

"So I went over to Josh and asked him if everything was all right. From there he began to again accuse me of sleeping with Donna. Now he accused me of bedding Donna, but not wanting to be with her because of my political career."

"That's ridiculous," she snapped. "It's plain to see that your political career would be _way_ better with her than me, but look where we are." Sam cleared his throat. "Continue."

"So, I decided to do the diplomatic approach—being close friends to both parties—and led him off into the other room in order to discuss things to him in an orderly and non-antagonistic manner."

"Is this where you told him off?"

"Dawnie!"

"Sorry," she proclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"So after a moment of explaining that he was mistaken to no avail, decided that it would be the best approach to simply come forward and admit the truth. So, I said to him," he cleared his throat and deepened his voice. "'Joshua—'"

"You called him _Joshua_?"

"I am about to give up on the story telling." He stood up to face her in his new production of _Josh and Sam Have a Fight. _

"Fine. Go on."

"I said, 'Joshua, I must be honest with you. It has been a burden on my heart for some time, and now I must relinquish this truth or my spirit shall surely die.' To this Josh began muttering incoherently." His voice became very high pitched and squeaky to represent his male friend. "I don't understand you, Sam. I will never understand. I am a tremendous dumbass.'"

"Well if you were using that Old English language then I wouldn't get you either."

"That is not Old English." He sighed going back to his deeper voice. "Anyway, I profess, 'Joshua, God knows how painful it has been for me to keep this from you. He has known that everyday I have mourned that I have been chosen as a pawn between my two dearest friends. God knows how I daily battle the conscious that tells me what I believe is best for the child.'"

"You said all this in that booming tone?"

"_Silence_!"

"Yes Moses," she snickered.

Sam was now too enthralled in his little play to notice the door open. Then too occupied to see the two bodies standing directly behind him. "I said unto Joshua, 'Joshua, _you _are the father of Donna's baby.' And Josh said back, 'No! I can't I can't. I could never sleep with Donna. I am destined to go through life building up this outrageous sexual tension while never admitting my undying love for her.'"

"Did he really squeak like that?" Dawn couldn't resist as she noted the man in question behind her boyfriend.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe not quite as shrill. But it's Josh." He took a breath to remember his place. "Ah yes. I told him and he denied it."

"Three times?" Dawn asked.

"What?"

"Well I was just thinking that you sounded kinda…yeah. Go on."

"Well he denied it and I finally had to raise my voice to him. I said, 'Joshua! Look at yourself. Look at yourself and what you are doing to this poor child. Look at what you and Donna are doing to yourselves and the poor life you have created. You are living lives of petty selfishness. Shame! Shame be unto you both! At times such as these you should all be thinking of the child. The welfare of the child!'"

Josh couldn't take it anymore. It was either speak or let loose a burst of hysterical laughter. "Can I get an A-men, everybody?"

Sam whipped around to show his burning cheeks to the newest occupants of the room. "Uhhh…hi."

Donna was giggling as she spoke. "Amen, Brother Lyman. And a big round of applause to our guest speaker, Reverend Seaborn."

"Cute guys," he blushed.

"Oh," Josh added with a smirk. "You forgot to mention the part where we talked of building an Ark and filling it with two of every animal right before you took away my Technicolor dreamcoat."

Sam was now fumbling for words. "I just uh…was saying that…we talked and uh…"

"I'm not mad," Josh said coming over to give his friend a pat on the back. "Oh, how I've seen the light! Thank you, Reverend Seaborn for showing me the error of my ways!"

"Yeah…"

"We aren't mad," Donna reassured. "In fact, in some perverse way, we need to thank you. I think we are finally able to start putting our lives together."

"Good." Sam still embarrassed as ever, cast another glance to his best friend. He caught sight of the bruise on his face. "Sorry about that."

"Forget it," he grinned. "Just don't get to pissed when I walk up to you one day and whack you in the jaw."

"Okay."

Donna then spoke. "Since we all seem to be on the path of forgiveness, let us come together and go unto a place of dining. Where we shall congregate and spread the good word of—"

"Shut up," Sam snapped.

"Okay." They all laughed as they headed toward the door.

Dawn just couldn't resist as they made way toward Sam's car. "Did you tell Josh 'cause of your conscience or the burning bush upon the mountaintop?"


	25. Chapter TwentyFour

A/N: I'm sure you all were beginning to wonder if I had given up on writing, and for a while I was contemplating if I would ever get this finished. I will let you know that if I follow the outline that Holly kindly helped me with, (she did it since I am horrible with them) this story should be done in about four chapters.

All that aside, I want to thank anybody who is still bothering to read my horribly updated story. I think if this story hadn't have been so widely accepted by everyone here, I would have not gotten past chapter five. With or without Holly pushing me.

Excuses for not posting sooner are as follows in no specific order. This is a weak chapter that I was never happy with. Also college started back up and I had to get ready for class. August is birthday month in my family and so had stuff to do. Working on the Kerry campaign and its time consuming to try and elect a guy. (If you are a US citizen eligible to vote and you haven't then GO REGISTER. Check out my website or go to schools and public buildings. Even businesses can register you now.) And lastly, I was suspended from fanfiction. Apparently, my dumb little ATTP Meet Room II violated some rules that I didn't know existed. My warning was to suspend my posting privileges for an unspecified amount of time. I think a slap on the wrist and a 'don't do it again,' would have worked on me, but I never lost any sleep at night over the thing. Kinda laughed...but yeah.

My Goodness, that's a rambly paragraph. On that note, read if you want and enjoy. Review if you like or email me if you want with any civisms.

I swear I am shutting up now. :-)

**Chapter Twenty-four**

Nervous beyond anything he had experienced since coming to the White House, Josh was ecstatic as he walked into work. Though showing it was the furthest thing from his intentions.

Unfortunately, he was known for his poker face-or lack thereof, to be more exact. He figured, though, that he had every cause to be happy.

He was going to be a daddy.

Josh would have been the first to tell anyone that he had no thoughts of children. It was one of those haggling points his mother and father had gone on and on about since the time he graduated law school. Though he knew how much it would please them, he also knew that actually doing what would please them would make _him _very unhappy.

Or so he had thought for a long, long time.

He had wonderful childhood memories. Playing catch with his dad in the back yard, Hanukahs and all the hubbub that went with it, and staying up late on summer nights so that he and Joanie could sneak out and compete over who could catch the most fireflies.

But there were a few bad ones,too. Joanie. That was the biggest one. Watching the house burn while knowing that over the raging fire his sister was crying out in need. He quickly switched his mind to lesser tragedies. Lesser pains like remembering his grandfather's death. Though not nearly as sorrowful, it hurt when he thought of the horrible years he had spent in German concentration camps.

So, he was scared of children. Not of kids themselves-though he could flash to Regan McNeil and tell a different tale. He was scared of having something so precious in his care-in his responsibility. Because he knew well that with his track record in love-and love was no question-he was bound to hurt it. Fail it to the point of death as he did with Joanie or simply drop it on its head.

He was nearly ashamed to admit that every time that he had dreamed since Friday, he had nightmares of hurting his baby. He dreamed of accidentally dropping it off the Truman Balcony, or accidentally leaving it on a park bench, forgetting to pick it up from baseball practice and of them burning up inside his mom's house because he left the pop-corn maker on.

But he would simply blame his prior reluctance to work. He figured that everyone could buy the fact that it would be crazy to start a family while working as the third most important person in the free world.

All of this and more of the same was rushing though his head when he saw Donna standing at her desk filing through phone messages. With his baby in her womb.

It was all he could do to not run over and rub her belly.

But then he saw the look on her face and decided that he was able to resist temptation. "Good morning, Donna," he said hoping to lighten the mood. "What's on the agenda?"

She followed him into his office and shut the door behind him. "Are you talking to Leo today?"

He sighed and played with the straps of his backpack. "I had planned on it." He had a feeling that 'play it cool' was now shot to Hell.

She bit her lip. "Maybe we should wait." 

"Donna, you're over four and a half months pregnant. We wait much longer and we'll be inviting Leo to the bar mitzvah."

She pouted slightly. "We haven't gotten to religion yet."

He rolled his eyes. "Look, I set on doing this all weekend. We might as well do it now before I chicken out and you have to."

"Should I...go with you?"

He shook his head, and then thought the better of it. "I mean you can if you want, it might show that we're a united front in it all, but I think the first time in I will just go in there and state the case."

With a nod, she looked down at the messages in her hand. "You have to call the Speaker's office and Hennings wanted you to let him know when you find out where the White House is going to land."

"Yeah." He was getting down to business and taking essentials out of his backpack.

"And your mother called."

This piqued his interest once again. He stared up at her with a questioning look. "Oh?"

Donna let a smile creep onto her face. "She wanted you to remember that you have to call her after the sonogram."

"Oh no."

She still smiled. "She actually made me cry the way she was so accepting and sweet. I'm really glad that you told her the truth about it all."

"I had to or else she would kill me for not telling her four and a half months ago."

"And she doesn't want to kill me?"

"Actually, I think it made her love you even more."

"I guess she has to love idiotic things if she had you."

"Hey," he snapped as he came around the desk and grabbed the papers in her hand.

As he walked toward the door, Donna took the papers back and handed him a file as they walked out of the room. "Sorry," she replied with false innocence. Then she added, "But please excuse the woman with the baby churning in her stomach."

He stopped mid-step and turned to face her. "Really?"

"You think they stay in one spot all the time?" When he shrugged, she groaned. "Josh, this is a small child. Do small children stay in one spot?" Then she leaned in whispered. "And think about yourself. Then reconsider."

He shrugged, but couldn't stop a small smile from coming to his lips. "I'm just saying that I never thought about it that way is all."

She shook her head and let him walk on toward the Oval.

* * *

"What happened on Friday?" CJ asked as soon as Josh walked into the room outside the President's closed office.

"Something," Charlie remarked as he took a long look at the bruise on the man's chin.

Josh shrugged. Toby cast a skeptical eye.

Luckily, the door opened just in time. As various people filed out of the room, the staff knew it was their cue to enter.

"Let's be quick," Leo gruffed. "Toby."

"Hennings gave me a call and I know he called Josh too. He wants to know what side we're going to take."

"Great," the President sighed as he sat down. He then turned his attentions to his Chief of Staff. "You said that we had time."

"I say a lot of things. I said we needed to put money into the missile defense shield."

"Well, you were wrong both times."

Leo ignored the man and turned to the others. "Have we decided yet?"

CJ spoke up. "I think we were all going to take a few more meetings, but for the record I'm leaning toward it."

"Okay," the elder man nodded. "Josh? Toby?" Both made disgusted faces faces. "Good enough."

Josh slapped his files against his thigh. "I just don't know if the pros outweigh the cons. Of course it's a good concept, but I don't know if we can afford it with everything else we want in the budget."

"It's simply amazing the decisions we have to make," the President mused. "Who would have ever thought that you would have to decide which is more important- feeding the children over here or saving the children there?" 

Leo rolled his eyes. "Anything else?"

"Just the deal with Katie--"

The Chief of Staff interrupted the Press Secretary. "Hold off on that for the moment if you can."

"Sure."

"Sounds good. Take those meetings and decide quick what we want to do."

Sensing the end, Toby and CJ made their way to the door. Josh, however, continued to stand in front of the President's desk. "Josh?" The Commander in Chief questioned. "I think Staff is over."

"Yeah," he slowly replied casting a glance to his mentor. "Actually, I was wanting a word with Leo." When he saw the two elder gentlemen share a look, he amended. "It's nothing that can't wait a while longer. I'm sure there's, you know, work to do. I'll just--"

"For the love of--" Bartlet looked at his closest friend. "Talk to him. Now."

"Yes sir." Leo smirked as he and Josh made way next door. As soon as the door was shut and he took a seat on his sofa, he made his order. "Out with it."

"Well...I...This weekend."

"I know something happened in the bullpen Friday. One minute I see Sam dragging your ass out of the room and next I hear that punches flew and language fowl enough for sailors was being shouted through hall."

"Well..." 

"And considering that I was nearly trampled by Donna when I came looking for you leaves me to think that it might have something to do with her and the baby."

"Sam isn't the father," Josh whispered in shame.

"Oh? Then who is?"

"Me."

The room grew unbearably silent as both waited for the other to speak.

"Can you repeat that?"

"Only if I can firstly say that large quantities of alcohol impaired both judgment and memory."

"You got Donna pregnant?" Leo's face was unreadable.

"Again I point out the facts that we were intoxicated and both at very emotional points in our-"

"And you _didn't remember_?"

Josh added softly. "Well, I do have a sensitive system. Delicate,even."

Leo took a deep breath and raised a hand for silence. "Let me get this straight. You and Donna got drunk together where you then proceeded to sleep together."

"Check."

The elder man cast a cold look before continuing. "Then Donna gets pregnant but doesn't tell you because you don't remember. Finally, Donna tells you--"

"Sam."

He looked up in surprise. "Sam? Donna didn't tell?" 

"She had this whole lame-ass theory about protecting me and my career."

"You mean from scandals and the like?"

"Yeah."

"I want to be the first to say she failed."

"Leo?" Josh decided not to mention that he was at least the fourth person to make the observation.

"At least tell me whether or not the two of you are still going about like two grade-schoolers."

"We have talked and are getting along again."

"Now tell me what you're going to do about the baby."

"I plan on raising it. And being an active father."

"Good," Leo sighed. "Well, at least some good has come out of this. You are going to finally have a taste of fatherhood- which I know you'll love- and you and Donna have finally gotten together. We can worry about the rest as it comes."

"What?"

"You know, the scandals that might arise from you and Donna. But, I really don't see it as much of a thing. Maybe some of the right-wing making a deal about not being married, but honestly all of Washington knows that--" 

"Donna and I aren't together."

"Huh?"

"Donna and I aren't in a relationship. I mean, yeah, we're friends and we both work together. We both plan on raising the baby together, but we aren't in any romantic relationship." Leo furrowed his brows. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, Josh. When a man comes in and tells me that he's made a baby with the woman he's been in love with for the past five years, I _assumed _you had taken your head out of your ass and admitted it to her." He saw the look of shock on the younger man's face. He shrugged carelessly and leaned back in his chair. "My mistake."

"Leo--"

"Go." He waved his hand in dismissal. "Tell Donna that I'm not going to demand she resign. We'll weather this. Though tell her that it sounds like she had a really stupid plan. Again, nothing this White House can fire people for."

"Yeah," Josh smiled as he stood up. He felt more relief than ever before.

"Oh, and Josh?"

"Yeah?"

He walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations."

* * *

"He's not mad?" 

"Nope. Not about that, at least."

"Hold on," Donna demanded, holding up a hand. "He's not mad?"

"He thinks your plan was stupid, but no, he's not mad."

"And he doesn't want me to quit. Or to fire me himself?" She was so shocked that she set her salad down.

"No. He thinks that this is a fight that we can easily weather." He took her distraction as prime opportunity to retrieve his long-stolen cheese fries. "He's right. We'll get it from the Republicans that like to use anything to stir up trouble. And the religious groups might make a deal about not being married." He paused to eat a few fries. "Then we might get some ACLU crap about you being my assistant. But that's about it."

"That's all?" she doubted that everything would be that easy. She had from the start.

"Whatcha mean?" he asked through a mouth full of food.

"Josh, that's a lot. That's another blow to the President and then another blow to you. Both can only take so many. And then there's Leo and CJ will have to do all the spin, which will inevitably drag her in it by association. We have bills to fight and initiatives that we always wanted to get through. His presidency is running out and there's so much left undone."

He knew she was right, he just didn't know what to do about the situation. "You're right, Donna. I just don't know what you want me to do about it."

"And besides all of the political fallout, we still have a relationship to mend and a baby to raise. I don't want this child growing up and thinking that it's the reason his daddy and the President were laughed out of Washington. The reason why a whole presidency was turned into a great big lame-duck."

He cleared his throat and reached for his water. "You don't think you might be exaggerating just a bit there?"

"Josh."

"Sorry." He sighed. "Look, I know what you're saying, but in the perspective of things this child couldn't undermine a whole presidency."

"_Josh!_"

He couldn't help but laugh. She was adorable when she fretted. "It will all be okay. We can all get through this. Besides, I really don't think that it'll be _that_ big of a deal."

"Famous last words. If anything, you just jinxed us."

"My darling Donnatella," his voice rang with sweetness. "What the hell do you want me to do?"

"Maybe it would be best if I resign before it all breaks."

The world came to a complete halt. Time froze and suddenly he couldn't breathe. As he saw the conviction on her face, he swore he would pass out due to lack of oxygen.

"Breathe, Josh."

Another moment passed before he finally was able to gasp the air into his lungs. "You're serious?" he panted.

"I can get another job and this way everything here will smooth over quickly. You can get another assistant and you and I can separate work and everything else for the sake of the baby."

"But...you _can't _quit! You are my Donna!"

Tears welled in her eyes. "Josh, we have to think about what's best for everyone. I love this job with all my heart, but I think it might be best."

"Not for me!" 

"Think about it."

"I don't want to." Now he felt like he might cry. Right when he was about to declare that things were going right, they messed up again.

"You can find someone else. Maybe even someone better. At least they won't talk your ear off all the time."

"But you remember everything. You've even memorized what kind of gifts work best for the Congressional leadership." He didn't want to add that he didn't mind when she talked his ear off, but decided he would if he had to.

Donna blushed at the compliment. "You'll find someone else."

"But what about....I wouldn't see you anymore."

Her eyes grew wide. "Hello! Baby here!"

"Yeah," he flushed with amusement and frustration. He took a moment to think before firing with, "What about you? This is your career. What are you going to do if you give it all up?" 

"I know," she sighed. "You know as well as anyone how much I love this. How much I love working here-for you." She took a moment to look at him. "But this is what's best. Unless you can come up with something better." She waited only a second for response. "So I will find another job until I can't work anymore. Then..." God, she hadn't thought that far ahead.

Donna sank in despair. She was going to have a baby, pay rent and bills and get all necessary supplies to make her life fit for motherhood on unemployment. She couldn't. And she wouldn't ask her parents for help. She wouldn't demand that...

"We'll make it work."

She met his gaze as he reiterated with as much conviction as she had ever seen in his eyes. "We'll make it work."

And suddenly, despite everything else, believing him had never been easier.


	26. Chapter Twenty Five

A/N: Hey guys! Slightly faster this time. Really sorry that things with school and campaign work have been crazy lately and I simply haven't had time to post this.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read this. I promise that the end isn't too far off. I am slowly progressing there and I hope you don't feel like the story is draggy. Sadly, I feel even that the end is going to go pretty fast compared to the beginning.

I love hearing from you guys whether it be good or bad. And side note that I had already planned to add more about Dawn's family. I have to thank Holly for that along with just about everything else in this story. This story wouldn't be written had it not been for you.

All that being said, enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty-five**

The story hadn't broke and she didn't know when CJ would throw it out with the trash. She wasn't even sure who all knew at this point. The President and First family, The Vice President, Will, CJ, Toby, Charlie, Mrs. Fiderer, Carol, Margaret and possibly even Ed and Larry knew the truth behind her stepping down. Everyone else was sated with the obvious: who would want to work for Joshua Lyman when you're going to have another baby to care for?

So she really had all she could ask for. Dawn was going to be lenient about rent, though Donna would sell her soul before she put the burden on the young woman's shoulders. And apparently Dawn knew people who could arrange the barter. And Josh had already talked to her about covering hospital and baby expenses.

She was at the point where she thought that things were finally beginning to straighten out. Now she waited for the other shoe to drop.

But that didn't happen as she made her way home. It didn't even happen right after she got there to find Sam and Dawn making out on the living room couch. But she couldn't help dreading what waited around the corner.

"I got a movie for tonight," Dawn announced to the two over dinner.

Sam looked up in feigned horror. "Remember that there are going to be quite a few people here tonight, so please don't let it be another musical."

Dawn scoffed. "It's us, Josh, CJ, Charlie, and a possible Toby. Also I invited a couple people from one of my bio classes, but I doubt they come."

The blonde woman added. "Leo mentioned how he wanted to come, but he had to attend a performance at the Kennedy Center." Sam smiled at the thought of the prestigious man coming by for popcorn and a movie. "I also invited Mallory." Sam was now choking on his food.

Dawn burst out laughing. "I know you had a thing for her a few years ago. Then the call girl messed things up."

"I...uhh..."

"Sam doesn't like talking about those topics. Especially not together." Donna was chuckling herself. "Though I am sure that he appreciates that you remembered that she is a call girl and not a hooker or prostitute."

"What's the movie?" Sam asked in desperation.

"Mallory couldn't make it," Donna continued.

"That's too bad," Dawn mused. "I wanted to see her again. She was so nice that day when she joined us for lunch."

"What?"

The knocking caused both to ignore his question. "I'll get it," Dawn said getting up to head to the door.

"You had lunch with Mallory?" Sam demanded.

"Oh look, Josh is here. Hey, Josh. Want something to eat?"

"Sure." He looked over at the chipper blonde sitting at the table and decided to grab a plate and join her. "No Chinese?" he asked playfully.

Donna gave him a look before replying, "And tequila is officially banned from this establishment." A moment later. "But egg rolls and lo-mien are always welcomed."

They chatted and ate until CJ and Toby showed up. "This is the highlight of the week," CJ stated as she sat on the sofa.

"And apparently, I had been _missing_ something?" Toby quipped sitting in the chair next to her.

"Uhhh...pop-corn?" Dawn offered.

"Oh yeah," Sam said with a lazy smile as he made his way out of the kitchen. "You never mentioned what the special movie was."

A knock on the door interrupted things again. Josh who was closest, opened it to greet Charlie. "Hey."

"Hey," the younger man replied.

"Guess the President got out of that thing Leo had to go to."

"You bet he did. And let's just say that when Leo gets back to the office, he's going to be one pissed man. I'm on call-got a couple hours."

"Excellent," Donna said gesturing about the room. "Find a seat."

"Debbie wanted to come, too, but something about poker and Albany came up. I asked no questions."

"I ask whether or not we are going to watch this movie or have tea and crumpets."

"Geez, Toby," CJ berated. "How dare we talk for a couple minutes?"

"I want to know what the movie is," Sam reminded.

"Well, then let's watch." And Dawn dimmed the lights, popped in the movie and crawled into the floor next to her boyfriend.

"A cinematic classic." Charlie smiled as he recognized the picture. "Always an uplifting tale."

"_The Exorcist_?" Donna retorted with a giggle.

Toby slouched further in his seat. "I wouldn't mind switching places with Father Merrin right now."

"Shut up!" CJ said reaching over to slap his shoulder. "You _asked_ me about this all week and you told me that you _wanted_ to come."

All confined their amusement as the Communications Director replied with, "I asked you once on Wednesday." After a pause he added, "And this is supposed to be Donna's special farewell party."

"So you only watch movies on special occasions?" Josh just had to open his mouth.

"So you couldn't remember you slept with her?"

Josh had found the ability to close his mouth now.

The comment didn't sting Donna or Josh like it could have just a month ago. In that time of adjusting to everything while letting their closest friends finally share their knowledge, it had went from a tender subject to almost a joke. Though maybe not as much for Josh as it did for Donna.

As the movie wore on, Donna felt the curly haired man next to her tense. "What?" she leaned over and whispered.

"You'll laugh."

"Probably, but what?"

"What if our kid turns out to be possessed?"

She sat dumfounded. Thenafter a couple of blinks,she struggled to suppress her snicker.

"See," he hissed at her.

"Josh, that's ridiculous." Both turned back to the screen when Chris MacNeil began crying over her daughter's ailments. "Oh, God. What if our child is possessed?" she murmured.

The question was left in the air as both turned their full attention back to the movie. In fact, as the movie pressed on, all talking and discussion ceased and it was quickly growing apparent that all were getting enthralled in the plot.

All watched in suspense as the babysitter led Father Karras up to Reagan's room. The music cued its eerie sound and revealed the stigmata on her stomach.

Then the phone rang. Loud.

Quickly, a panic-stricken Charlie hopped up while grabbing his phone and dashing to the other room. Dawn decided it best to momentarily pause the movie.

"Wow," an awed CJ said as all began to move around and relax. "That was intense." Then she chuckled. "Poor Dawnie. I heard you scream."

"That was Sam," the brunette giggled.

"I was...merely protesting the interruption."

Josh cracked up. "Quite the man you picked out there, Dawn." Then his laughter stopped as he turned to the woman beside him . "Ow!" He wiggled his hand in her grasp. "For the love of God, Donna, that hurts!"

"I see you're quite the manly man yourself, Josh," Sam countered with a smile.

"Sorry," Charlie replied as he walked back into the room. "The President wants me back over for a few things." And soon all made their quick goodbyes before resuming the movie.

Though he had nagged her about her grip, Josh made sure that when the scariest parts came that his hand was in close proximity. In fact, he was secretly concentrating more on his companion than the movie. He watched her features as Linda Blair played her role and how one hand always ventured to her swollen belly to comfort the baby from the horrific images while the other often made way to his own palm in silent plead for reassurance.

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. More emotion than he ever could have contemplated began running through his body and he flushed with nervous excitement as he felt he had finally reached the point in his life that he could admit the truth.

As _"The power of Christ compels you,"_ played over and over across the screen, Joshua Lyman reached the declaration in his life that he was finally able to confess his love to one Donnatella Moss.

But his mind settled on the fact that it wasn't something to shout in the middle of an exorcism.

* * *

Time went faster than any imaginedand before too long it was well after midnight. They had all decided to watch a comedy to ease any nightmares that Sam might have and also to show Josh and Donna that they wouldn't have any possessed children.

"I hope my children aren't possessed," Josh commented mid-way through _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. "Who's ever heard of Jewish exorcisms?"

A unanimous groan resounded through the room to which Josh commented. "Well, what do you say? 'The power of the yamaka compels you?'"

Toby cracked a grin. "Josh loses all talking privileges."

A few minutes went on before the feature was interrupted. This time it was Donna. "You won't believe this, guys."

"You're hungry," CJ guessed.

"I'm actually really hungry."

Dawn paused the movie and turned to Sam. "Go make her something."

"Huh?"

"Go make her something. She's six months pregnant today. Are you going to make her get up and get it herself?" After a second she added, "Please."

"Okay." His quick concession made everyone laugh as he hopped up and headed to the kitchen.

"Here," Josh mumbled getting off the sofa and heading to follow his friend. "I'll help. Did do the impregnating."

Toby shrugged and stood. "Might as well grab a drink."

"Hey, grab me one too," CJ called.

As soon as all three men stood in the room alone, Josh pulled them by the arm in silent call of attention. Once that was gained he was hesitant to move forward.

"What?" Toby asked, taking mind enough to whisper.

"Are you okay?" Sam questioned. "You look like-"

"Look...I...God, this sounds really stupid."

"You've finally realized that you're in love with Donna and now you're nervous to make a move because you're afraid that she won't want what you want. So you have the two of us standing here in desperation that once you tell us-which could be weeks at your rate- that we can give you the magical advice to make all right in the world."

Sam and Josh blinked at the Communication Director several times before being able to pull their eyes away from the man. Sam went back to making a sandwich while Josh opened and closed his mouth.

"Where's my drink?" CJ teased from the front room.

Her question went ignored. "I could have been asking if you think Donna would like pickles in her ice cream."

Sam whipped back around, mustard in hand. "You mean Toby was right? I thought he was just trying to get to you again."

Toby looked almost surprised himself, but didn't let that stop a smug smile from crossing his face. "So what?"

"I want to ask Donna on a date. That seems a better approach that just coming out with declarations."

"You were thinking about this during _The Exorcist_," the balding man commented.

"Are you kidding? I just came to the realization of my feelings during _The Exorcist._" A sigh. "I came to the date conclusion about twenty minutes ago."

"Then ask her," Sam urged. "Trust me when I say that she feels the same about you."

"I know what you're saying, but...you could be wrong."

"He's not. But you are looking for a plan that you can cover well with if you get rejected."

"Exactly. A date that I can ask her on that she won't know for sure was a date if she says no."

Sam tilted his head in thought. "But won't that mean that she won't exactly know it's a date if she says yes."

"Oh God." Josh sank against the refrigerator.

"No wonder it's taking so long," CJ joked as she made way in the room. "Josh, if you turn around it makes beverage retrieval much easier." Now she saw the faces of the other occupants. "What's up?"

"Well," Sam began. "It's a secret."

"Oh," the woman pouted slightly.

"We would like to tell you, but..." the younger man ignored Toby's glare and glanced Josh, who threw his hands up in permission and walked over to hang his head over the sink. "Josh is in love with Donna, but afraid to ask her on a date."

"Oh my God." After a second she reiterated. "Oh. My. God." Then she turned to Toby. "I told you they would give in before the end of the administration."

"That was before we knew there would be two terms."

"You declared that it didn't matter there, Snippy. Pay up."

"You guys made a bet on how long it would take for Josh and Donna to get together?" Both culprits nodded. "And you guys didn't let me in on it?"

"Excuse me!" Josh said in a loud whisper as he whipped around to face them. "If you haven't notice my lack of participation in this conversation, it happens to be because _I have a problem!!_"

CJ walked over to the curly haired mess. "Ask her. Do it sincerely. Make sure that you make it clear that you aren't being your usual ass of a self. End of problem." She then proceeded to walk to the fridge and retrieve a drink and walk back to the other room.

"Is it really that simple?" Josh asked.

Toby shrugged and grabbed a drink and left. Sam turned back to make quick work of food preparation. "She is a woman, Josh. I say give her credit and go with it."

"That way if this ruins my life I can blame it all on her."

"Exactly."

"'Kay," Josh said taking a deep breath and following his friend back to the movie. "Okay."

It didn't take long for everyone to deicide that it was best to call it a night. Toby and CJ made quick goodbyes and headed home. Sam stuck around to help "pick up", which led to helping Dawn in her bedroom. That left Josh alone with Donna making sure that everything was taken care of.

"Thanks," an exhausted blonde stated as Josh helped her up.

"My pleasure."

She gave him a quizzical look, but let it pass. "Well, I guess we better say goodnight."

"Yeah we should."

"Goodnight." She headed to open the door for him.

"No."

"I don't get a goodnight?" she laughed as she touched the doorknob.

"No," he said gently taking her hand and turning her to face him. "Well...yes, but not yet."

"Okay."

"I...what are you doing Monday night?"

"Well, I have my first exercise class."

"Tuesday?"

"Nothing."

"Would you like to maybe go see a movie or something? You always talk about how you never get enough Raisinets and movie popcorn. Or there's that new place on Delaware that looks like food you'd go for."

"No, Josh."

"Oh. Okay. It was just a thought. Goodnight, Donnatella." He made quick work of getting to the hallway.

"No." He turned to face her. She had the look of an angel. "You have a dinner meeting Tuesday with Luke."

"I do." He took a shaky breath.

"Are you asking me out, Joshua?"

"I..."

"I have a movie night Friday, but I do know that Wednesday afternoon I'm free. There's just a little doctor's appointment I was going to go to around four thirty that afternoon. But if the guy who wanted to go with me leaves soon after, I might be able to squeeze you in."

"Really?"

"Yes," she said softly. She had no qualms now that she was no longer his assistant. In fact, she had been praying for this moment for years.

"Excellent! So we can just go out after the sonogram."

"Sounds perfect." And she meant that. "Now goodnight, Josh."

"Goodnight, Donnatella."

As she closed the door, she knew she would be sleeping well tonight.

* * *

Or so she thought.

She didn't have too much trouble getting to sleep. Faintly she could hear the noise next door and knew that her roommate was practicing her mating rituals, but she was used to tuning out Dawn and Sam's sexcapades.

No, she was even in the middle of a quite pleasant fantasy. She was sure that the actions next door played a subconscious part, as her and Josh were getting ready to make love on a beach in Delaware.

Then she awoke to a loud knocking sound. At first, she thought that Dawn's bed was hitting the wall again. She was on the verge at yelling at the couple until she realized that it was coming from the front door. With a little effort she made her way out of bed and headed to see who it was. A quick peak through the peephole and she was able to determine that it was no stranger.

"Will?" She asked in her sleepy daze. "Zack?"

"There was trouble in Arlington that we made quick work of and decided to drop off a couple things that Dawn had left in New York before heading back home," the younger and more natural blonde explained.

"Oh." Then it occurred to her why a certain couple hadn't gotten the door. "She's asleep. But I'll tell her that you stopped by."

"We can just wake her up," the British brother-in-law decided. "It's just Saturday mornin'. No classes to complain about."

"No," she weakly protested. It was pointedly ignored.

"'Sides, her big sis wanted to herself, but 's helpin' Zangy's missus feed and herd the little bits."

As the bedroom door opened, it was quickly made apparent that the couple thought they were the only awake occupants of the house. A naked Sam walked out and then quickly turned back to face the open door. "You owe me, you know."

She quietly giggled and then whispered back in the same fashion. "Get back here with that ice cream and you'll get your dessert."

"Promise?"

"You'll scream for ice cream."

Then he turned and saw the room full of people. He quickly scrambled back to his girlfriend's room.

"Oh dear," Donna cringed.

"She's...with...she's..." Zack was pacing back and forth frantically.

William took a more direct approach. He went straight to the room.

"Spike!" Dawn screamed when he burst in the room.

"Dawn!"

"Spike!" Sam squeaked.

"Zack!" the naked woman protested as he now entered the room.

"Dawn?" Sam asked.

"Sam."

Both men's eyes flashed yellow as they turned to the accompanying man. In response Sam moved instinctively closer to his girlfriend.

Noticing the neon in their gaze, Dawn protested. "Spike."

"Dawn." His voice now possessed an unnatural calm.

"Spike," Sam trembled.

"Zack," Dawn tried to reason with the other.

"Dawn?" Sam again tried to get her instruction.

"Sam," both men growled in unison as they took a step toward the bed. Sam was too horrified for words and again tried to get closer to his girlfriend.

"Guys," Dawn snapped. "Stop. Now." She took a frustrated breath. "Before I call Buffy."

"I bet she would come bleed him herself."

"No she wouldn't. She knows that I'm a grown woman and that I'm dating a wonderful Congressman."

"She does?" Sam asked in surprise.

"He's a politician too!" Zack's eyes grew wide. "My God, Dawn. Have we not taught you anything?"

"Buffy knows?" Spike's face dropped. "She didn' tell me."

"Because I told her not to. I didn't want you to do..." She paused and looked around the room. "Well, this."

"So you're Spike?" Donna asked entering the room. "I thought it was Will."

"William was my birth name. I got the other by impalin' spikes into people's-"

"Isn't he a riot?" Zack said elbowing him in the side. He then turned his attention back to the bed. "Just so you know, we aren't going anywhere until you get your ass out of her bed."

"And leave," Spike added.

Just as Dawn was about to protest once more, she and the others heard a knock on the front door followed by someone's entrance. Both of the men immediately picked their heads up in new alertness.

"I guess everyone is awake," a young blonde said sticking her head in the room.

"Oh dear," a darker haired one said following in.

"Kill me now," Dawn muttered flopping back on the bed to smother herself with the blanket.

"Can I help you?" Donna was more confused than ever.

"This is my sister, Buffy," a muffled Dawn explained. "And that is Kelly."

"Zack's wife," Donna said remembering the picture.

Kelly shyly smiled. "We were beginning to wonder why the guys were taking so long. Luckily the kids are sleeping in the car with Giles." Then she turned to Sam. "Sorry about the embarrassment, but you are really hot."

"Kelly!" A chorus resounded through the room. The woman simply shrugged and walked over to her husband's side.

"Then we figured, our husbands plus town where Dawnie has a boyfriend equals potential apocalypse, and since we didn't want another one of those on our hands - and so soon - we thought we'd come and fix it before it got really bad," Buffy added.

Spike whirled around to face her. "You din' tell me."

"I know," she soothed.

"You guys are..." Sam trailed off as he tried to pull himself under Dawn's cover.

Buffy let out a whistle. "As one who is perfectly content with what I got, I must say that my sister does have incredibly good taste."

Dawn sat up and stared at the occupants of the room. "But my sister and family do have incredibly bad tact and manners." She then looked to the female spectators. "Please!"

"Right," Kelly said grabbing Zack by the arm. "Let's go before Rosie and William wake up. But it was a pleasure to meet you, Sam. And Donna, of course."

"You too," the singled out duo chorused in bewilderment.

"Bye," an apologetic Buffy added after quickly dashing over to kiss her sister on the cheek. "Sorry about this. I should have known better."

"I really hope we can get together and have some dinner or something sometime," Sam fumbled.

Buffy smirked. "Put underwear on and we'll talk."

Then as quickly as it all had started, the whirlwind was gone. There was much protesting by the men, but their wives were able to pinch their ears and drag them over the threshold. Donna quickly locked the door upon the last one's exit and numbly walked back into the scene of the crime. She stood there in silence as she stared at the still-naked Sam and Dawn.

"I'm going to bed." And she crisply turned and went across the hall.

It took longer for her to get to sleep the second time.


	27. Chapter Twenty Six

**A/N**: Hi! Sorry, that I am late to update as always. My classes have been long this semester and working on a national campaign has put a damper in my schedule. I just want to thank everyone who is continuing to read this.

A few things I want to quickly say before I shut up. Firstly, I want to say something about the last chapter and the ending where the Buffy people came in. Some people weren't very happy about that and I am sorry. Not that I did it, but that you didn't like it. This story is NOT a crossover and was never intended to be. In fact, that is the last I had planned on mentioning them. I had it planned from the beginning because I originally wrote collaborations with a Buffy writer (Holly) and was comfortable writing all of the fandoms together. Sorry that people were upset, but that's my reasoning behind it.

Lastly, I want to recommend a fic to everyone out there. Grey Gardens of Shadowed Rapture by the fabulous Holly. It is a Buffy/West Wing crossover, but it has some of the best West Wing that I have read. It's hilarious, but also so true to charter. Go check it out here or on our website. I swear you won't be disappointed.

I think that's it. Thank you and enjoy! Feel free to email me about anything.

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Josh was exhausted as he made his way into work Wednesday morning. He had been up all Tuesday night with appropriations proposals as well as the knowledge that Wednesday was going to be one of the few most important days of his life.  
  
Firstly, he was going to finally see his baby in person. Fate had caused him to miss every single one of the checkups for the past six and a half months. Of course, the first several he hadn't even known that the child was his—but he had in the past two; he had just been unable to leave the office.  
  
So as he came into work, he was also dreading the inevitable national event that would ruin his day.  
  
And then the night he planned.  
  
Really he hadn't quite come up with the firmest of plans yet. He didn't know what to do for the first date that was happening about five years too late. Or at least six and a half months.  
  
Three times he almost picked up the phone to call Donna for advice. Then he remembered who he was taking out. Then he panicked on what would happen when ring shopping came into play. And anniversary presents. He was realizing how hard that was going to be on him.  
  
So he sat at his desk, with the coffee his new secretary Jenna brought him, and decided that he needed a woman's input on what to do. He began to call out to his assistant, but realized that he didn't want to. He didn't want to turn her into his Donna replacement. Really he wanted Donna back and suggested that she could come back if she wanted to after the baby was born. She didn't say anything, but he already knew her answer.  
  
That left CJ. And she wasn't a happy gal today. A press debacle occurred and fortunately he wasn't to blame. One of the Communications aides let a memo slip that should have never been written in the first place.  
  
He was a little sickened as to where his path of women took him. But he decided that he should give her a call anyway. So he picked up the phone and dialed the old and familiar cell phone number.  
  
"Amy Gardner."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Josh, long time no talk."  
  
"Yeah." He really wanted to hang up the phone and pretend it never happened. "I was just calling to see how you are."  
  
"Good. You?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She paused. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
"Something's up. I can tell by the sound of your voice."  
  
"Maybe my voice just felt like sounding different for a moment."  
  
"And you called me. I know something's wrong because you called me. Are you really behind that whole memo mess?"  
  
"No." He nervously laughed as he leaned back in his chair. "I was just thinking about you."  
  
"Josh? I've been doing a lot of thinking about everything and I don't think I want to get back together with you. Ever again."  
  
Though good news, he couldn't help being offended. "You make it sound like being with me is worse than a prison sentence."  
  
"Depends on what I'm in for."  
  
"Hey!"

"Josh, I'm sorry, but I thought about what you said and I think you're right."

She slammed the brakes on him again. "Huh?"

"We aren't good for each other. Though it sounds like things have been crazy there for awhile. How's Donna?"

"She's good." He sighed. Some of this he didn't feel comfortable sharing over the phone. "What are you doing now?"

"Actually, you have impeccable timing. I just left a meeting at Harper's office and now I was just planning on grabbing a bite to eat."

"Wanna come sample that latest at the Mess."

"Sure."

And then the line went dead.

"Why am I such a dumbass?"

* * *

"What's up?" Amy asked in between bites.

"Have you not eaten in days?" he asked in astonishment.

"In fact...quite possibly. Talk."

"You asked how Donna was?"

"I did," she now was looking up at him as she set her food down. "Is she okay?"

"For a long time she didn't tell me who the father was. I was pissed and she was annoyed at me. I went through a long line of accusations. I even went as far as to think it was Sam."

"Wow. Sam. Why didn't she tell you?"

"Well, I thought it was because of the many years I told her not to tell me of her men. Then she confessed that this gomer had a career that she was afraid would be jeopardized by the whole thing."

"Is it a Republican? Like high-ranking?"

"Amy!"

"Oh, please! How many times have I heard you go on about Donna and her Republican gomers? Trust me, it got to a point that I almost started dating one so you would talk about _me_ a little when we were in bed." Now his face was red. "Finish the story. I figure that you've found out by now."

"The Friday after you and I broke up, I went over to Donna's for some Chinese and beer. She had a lot on her mind and I had a lot on mine. We were both thinking about relationships and careers and all the heavy stuff that shouldn't be thought about on weekends."

"And she told?"

"Not exactly." He sighed. "After the beer, we realized we wanted something a little stronger. She went and got a dusty bottle of tequila and we went to town."

Amy's face dropped. "You."

"I didn't remember, but apparently she did. She wasn't going to tell because it was embarrassing to begin with and the—k" He stopped and looked at her. "I know that we've took punches at each other but...you aren't going to go and tell—"

"Josh." She gave him the most sincere look of her life. "No. This isn't politics. This is...your life. As fucked up as it is, it's your life."

"Yeah. I just...I just needed someone to talk to."

"So you know and Donna knows, right?"

"Yeah. Sam had found out because he's dating her roommate and he ended up telling me on the night of the Congressional Ball."

"Figures," she snickered.

"I baited him," he instinctively said in defense. Then he shook his head. "Anyway, we fought it out and then I duked it out with Donna. She gave me her lame Donna excuses and then we started to think about the reality."

Amy smiled. "You're going to be a daddy."

He flushed with pride. "I am."

"You always wanted kids."

"Huh?"

"You did. You never came out and said it, but both times we talked about it, it was because you brought it up."

"Well..." He really had no answer for that. "Donna thought it best to step down."

"Who knows?"

"Senior Staff, First Family, Margaret, Carol, Debbie, Charlie and you."

"Okay." She knew that Josh had made a big leap of faith coming to her. And she wasn't prepared to let him down. Though their relationship had been rocky at best, a small part of her would always belong to Josh Lyman. Even though she knew who had him all these years. "So..."

"As lame as it sounds, I've realized that I'm in love with Donna."

"It does sound lame, but it also sounds about right," she commented never missing a beat. "Have you told her yet?"

"No," he shamefully admitted. "Though we are going on a date tonight after the sonogram."

Amy desperately wanted to be bitter, but she couldn't. "I'm actually happy for you."

"Thanks."

"Were you just giving me a heads up or what?"

"Both." He sighed. "I...you know me."

"Unfortunately."

He glared for a second before moving on. "What should I do for a date?"

"No," she said, throwing her hands in the air. "I can embrace that you have finally getting together with the woman you loved the whole time we were together, but I can't help you plan the whole thing."

"Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry. This was—"

"Bring back a fond memory from when you guys were playing coy. Then do something romantic like take her on a carriage ride or to a picnic."

He sat there in silence for a moment. "That's really good."

"Yup."

"I might try it."

"Okay."

"Now tell me about that meeting with Harper."

* * *

Donna felt like a little child on Christmas morning. It was past midnight before she could get to sleep and she was up as the sun rose over the Washington horizon. She couldn't stop herself from wandering into the front room at six thirty in the morning.

"You know you don't have to do this anymore." Dawn said when she finally immerged from her room to get ready for classes.

"I know. I just have a doctor's appointment today," she stated as she briefly pulled her eyes away from the morning news.

"Yeah," the brunette smirked. "I always get up ten hours early for my appointments, too." She then grabbed a banana from the kitchen. "You know you don't have to watch politics all the time anymore, either. You are unemployed now. You get to watch all the soap operas and cartoons that you want."

"I figure that in my lifespan I will watch more cartoons than I ever wanted. But in the meantime..." she turned her head back to the television.

"Have fun on your date," she called as she headed out the door. "And try _Passions_. I heard that it's pretty good. _General Hospital _too."

"Bye!"

As soon as she was alone, she hopped up and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast. After she ate, she worked out to one of her new pregnancy approved exercise videos before heading to the shower.

"10:30," she grumbled to the clock as she came out dressed to stand in the living room. She had no idea that time could move so slow. So, she moved to the phone and dialed the most familiar number in the world.

"Yeah?"

"I want my job back."

"You do?"

"Trust me, it's nothing personal. I just...don't like soap operas."

"They don't start for a couple hours," Josh replied as he sat down in his chair. "And remember that there was that whole love triangle on _Day of Our Lives._ At least there was a couple years ago."

"I am going to have to do this for months?"

"Hey. Be grateful that you aren't shot. You have a baby. When you heal you get to play with it. All I could play with was a used bullet."

"Josh."

"I know." He sighed. Then he cracked a grin that could be heard over the phone. "You get cool toys, too."

"Josh."

"I'm sure the baby will share."

Now she was smiling. "Josh."

"I don't know if I will. I saw this ad this morning for the most awesome race car that came equipped with its own—"

"Josh!" Now she was laughing.

"So you want your job back?" He mused. "If I remember correctly, somebody was asked just Friday if they wanted to keep the job and they responded very negatively to the idea."

"I know. And I don't really want my job back. I just want something to do."

"Go over to my apartment and do my laundry." He could tell the lack of response was not positive. "Well...it was something to do."

"I want a hobby."

"Like what?"

"Knitting maybe. Or basket weaving. Something productive and fun."

"I could see you as a basket weaver. Or maybe rugs." Then he paused as she heard muffled voices. His tone softened. "Hey, Donna. I have to go. But I'll see you in the three o'clock hour?"

"Yeah. Have a good day."

"You too." And the line went dead.

Ten minutes had passed and she felt time was moving even slower.

* * *

Josh couldn't help but smile as he went on to Leo's office. The content in knowing that Donna was as excited as him was overwhelming.

Of course he was excited to be able to see his baby. The idea was still an anomaly to him. The fact that _he_ had fathered a life. And that said life was coming from the person he was closest to in the world spoke volumes to him.

But at the moment, that was almost overtaken by the fact that he was going on a date with Donna tonight. His Donna. Donnatella Moss, the woman he had been in love with for years in his reptilian brainstem. The woman that had smoothed over his tempers, straightened his ties, cared for him in his darkest hours, and helped him to win two presidential elections all while refusing to bring him coffee was going to dinner with him.

How could he not be happy?

"There has been a shooting outside the embassy of Belize."

That could do the trick.

"The American one?" he asked as his face dropped.

"Yeah," Leo said, reaching over his desk to find the latest intelligence report. "Five were hit. Two dead already. US diplomats. Two more are in stable condition, but the ambassador himself is critical."

Josh took a deep breath. "What are we doing?"

"Praying that he makes it." The older man stood up from his chair. "The President is talking to the Belizean government in finding out who exactly is to blame."

"They think it's related to the Pakistani incident?"

In his most professional voice, Leo gave the statement. "The White House is not at a point of speculation. We are simply trying to figure out what has happened and who is responsible." After a second he added. "Yeah, we do."

Josh sighed. "Okay."

"We'll have you in on some meetings in the Oval and as it gets out into mass media, we'll need your office to keep control of the incoming calls."

"No problem."

"You think Jenna can handle this?"

"I hope so," he said with a thin smile of disappointment.

"Didn't you have something today?"

"Just...nothing that beats this."

"What?" Leo was heading toward the Oval office through his adjourning door.

Josh assumed that he was to follow. "Well...I was going to try and make the sonogram today."

"You've been trying that for awhile now."

"Yeah." He then cleared his throat and muttered. "I have a date."

"What was that?" The President asked as the two men entered and several more exited.

"Nothing, sir."

Leo spun around. "You have a date?"

"I...I had planned to." He groaned slightly in embarrassment. "I had asked Donna to go to dinner with me tonight and she agreed."

President Bartlet was grinning like a proud father, as well as his Chief. "I have to say that six months after consummation is acceptable in the period of courtship. However, six years between knowing you love this woman and asking her to dinner is not."

"God," Leo sighed. "This is horrible timing. I'm sorry, son."

"Maybe not."

"Excuse me, sir?" Josh prodded.

"Well, maybe we can have this all worked out before you have to go meet Donna."

Leo smirked. "'Cause we have a track record for doing it easy."

* * *

Donna hadn't performed so many wardrobe changes since high school. After many hours of deliberation, she settled on a sleek blouse and a slimming black skirt. With the time to spare, she tried desperately to make her hair as sexy as possible in a way that would look almost as she had spent little time trying to accomplish it. Finally, she accented herself with flawlessly applied make-up and jewelry.

She felt good when she looked in the mirror. Though her stomach was expanding and it was now becoming noticeable, she still felt good about herself. Right now she felt damn good. And she hoped to see a favorable reaction when she went to meet her date.

As she headed to her car, she glanced down her front. Her neckline dipped lower than she normally wore in the day, but she thought that it would draw attention more to her top half than her expanding bottom. Either way, she had gone to great pains to assure that she looked appealing and tasteful all at the same time.

Her first reward came as she was walking through the White House parking lot. The security guard, who she knew well, gave her a playful catcall.

That made her efforts worth it.

With a sigh of familiarity she made her way in the building. Though it felt weird to have to stop and sign in as a guest, she still felt like she had never left home. Then, she walked to the desk that had been hers only last week and knew that she had.

"Donna!" Jenna squeaked in glee. She was too overjoyed to see someone she knew could help her to even be embarrassed by the fact that she was failing at her job. "The calls are coming in like crazy and Josh is going mad trying to sort things out."

"What happened?" She just knew that the moment she flipped over and watched a little _Days of Our Lives_ that the whole world would go to hell.

"The ambassador to Belize and four others were shot down in front of the embassy there. Two are dead and the ambassador himself is on life support."

"How long have they been airing it?"

"Four hours."

_Damn you daytime shows! _"Okay. Where is Josh now?"

"He's in with the President and Leo."

"Have they related it to Pakistan?"

"No."

"So that's why everyone is calling."

"Pretty much. They all want Josh to advise whether we should be pulling out of all our embassies."

"Tell them—" The phone rang and interrupted her. "May I?" She said gesturing to the desk.

"Gladly."

Donna picked up the phone and then effortlessly diffused the Speaker of the House with a no comment.

"I love you," Jenna said almost weepy. "You...I can never be as good as you with dealing with these people. I still get nervous when Leo McGarry walks by."

"It takes time. I promise." Then with a smile and nod she gestured to Josh's office. "I'm just going to hang out in there for a bit if that's all right."

"Sure." Then as Donna turned to walk in she added, "And you look great today."

"Thanks." Donna just hoped that her date would think the same. Though she knew that things weren't going to be the happy ending she secretly desired for five days.

"Get me the head of Foreign Relations for the Senate and the House," Donna heard about fifteen minutes later. The bark was quickly followed by a yelp of subordination by Jenna. Donna then saw the half open door swing all the way and heard Josh yell, "And somebody find me CJ and Toby!"

"I am guessing that you aren't inviting them to the sonogram."

"Donna!" He jumped. "I didn't know you were here."

"I came by and found out about what happened. What's the latest?"

He looked at her solemnly. "He died about ten minutes ago."

She cringed. "Oh no."

"Did you see it on the news?" he asked walking over to his occupied desk to mindlessly sort through files.

"No," she said leaning over in his chair to peer at the desk and help him out. "I was actually taking your suggestion and watching daytime television."

"Figures," he smirked. Then he looked more closely at her. "Stand up." His tone was gentle but firm. She did and he couldn't help but be taken aback by how she looked. "You look..."

"Silly."

"Gorgeous," he finished causing her to blush with his wide, adorning eyes. "Donna, you know that I really want to go, but right now—"

"It's okay," she said with a sad, but also sincere smile. "We should have known that the world would be out to get us."

"I _will_ make it up to you."

Her face lost some of its depression. "Well you better 'cause you have a lot of making up to do and no salary to give me."

Josh glanced down at his watch. "You better go, if you want to make it to Dr. Young in time."

"Yeah," she said, scampering to get up and grab her purse.

"I really am sorry."

"It really isn't your fault."

"Still."

They shared one more meaningful look, before she walked out of her office and out of the White House.

"This sucks," he muttered as he flopped in his chair and began to read his messages.


	28. Chapter Twenty Seven

A/N: You guys have probably figured that I have given up on this story. I can't even remember how long it's been since I put a new chapter out. I want to get it all done before the election, but seriously doubt with the fact that I also have a campaign to work on as well as classes.

But yeah. Thank you again to everyone who has read this and a special thank you to those of you that have reviewed. there is a small core of you that have reviewed this from the beginning and you are some of the main reasons as to why I haven't just given up all together on getting this done.

As well as Holly. Thank you for always pushing me with my writing. You are quite the best friend a gal could ask for.

But on to the story. And i really hope that you guys enjoy! Hope you all have good weekend!!

****

Chapter Twenty-seven

Donna knew that she really shouldn't be so tired, but she was as she walked through the front door of her apartment. She was both saddened and relieved to be home alone once again.  
  
Looking over she saw the little flashing red light. Curious as to what the answering machine said and hoping that Josh might be calling with a change in plans, she went over and pressed the button.  
  
"Hi, it's me. I was just calling to tell you not to worry about me tonight. I was finally able to work a time out with my Bio partner and we are going to spend most of tonight working on that project that I have due next week. I may come home late, or I might just stay the night at her apartment. Either way, I'll see you later when you tell me all the juicy details about your date. Bye!"  
  
Dawn had successfully depressed a sleepy Donna even more. She sighed in defeat as she walked over and deposited her purse on the kitchen table as well as the sonogram pictures and video that she was able to take home.  
  
Glancing down at the pictures made her wish that Josh was with her even more. She knew that he would love to have been there and proudly say that he was the father as well as get the chance to hear baby's heartbeat fill the room. Also, and much more trivially, she knew that he wanted to be there because they had promised that she would not find out the baby's gender until he could be there to hear it as well.  
  
She had a feeling that wouldn't be for a few months. And she wondered how they would conceal it after he missed the baby's birth.  
  
But she pushed all that aside as she went into her bedroom and quickly changed into some sweats. She debated on changing into the faded white t-shirt that was left all those months ago after a night of drunken passion, but decided that it would make her day too pathetic for words. She opted for a Princeton t-shirt that Sam had left on another night of passion. That made her feel industrious.  
  
After washing off her make-up and taking down her hair, she headed to the living room. She flopped down on the sofa and reached for the remote with a deep breath, flipping on MSNBC. And as the situation in Belize was explained for the hundredth time, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

As she woke up to the knocking on her door, Donna swore that there would be hell to pay if Monty Python started flowing out of people's mouth and she really didn't want to see any bunnies ravish Amy or anyone else. But as the knocking persisted, she decided to give up and sleepily stumbled toward the door.  
  
"Were you asleep?"  
  
"Ummm," Donna fumbled as she looked on to Josh standing in the hallway holding a dozen roses.  
  
"I should have just waited till tomorrow. Or at least have called."  
  
"It's fine," she said, slowlywaking up. "Come in."  
  
"Sorry," Josh again apologized as he followed her in and then closed the door. "I knew that I should have given up." He sighed, sounding tired himself. "There was no chance today would flow smoothly."  
  
She went and flipped off the television before nonchalantly trying to fix her disheveled hair. "How did everything go?"  
  
"There's nothing I can do now. It's all military." He then glanced down at his hands before boyishly thrusting the flowers in her direction. "These are for you."  
  
"You bought me flowers."  
  
"They're 'I'm really sorry that I couldn't make it' flowers." He then sealed the deal with a Josh Lyman dimple-filled smile.  
  
"Thank you," she said simply. She was so taken aback that she had no quip to add. Taking the flowers, she headed into the kitchen to find a vase. "They're beautiful."  
  
"Yeah," he muttered, already disinterested as he glanced down at the table. "Are these from today?" He asked picking up the baby photos.  
  
She turned her head to see what had caught his eye. "They are. Go ahead and take one of each. They made extras for you."  
  
That occupied him while she dealt with the bouquet. Once that was accomplished, and he was finally able to pull his gaze away from the pictures, they silently looked at one another.  
  
Donna figured she would be forced to talk first. "Umm…do you want to go do something? I can change real quick."  
  
"Does Sam live here?" Josh asked with a smirk as he looked at her shirt. "Or does he just keep half his wardrobe here for dating purposes?"  
  
"More the latter, but I would say both." Then she headed back into the front room. "I mean it, I can go change and make myself look-you know- decent, pretty fast."  
  
"It's eleven at night."  
  
Donna didn't have anything to say to that so she flopped down on the sofa. "I'm glad that things seem to be working out with the Belize thing."  
  
"Uh huh," he said sitting down right next to her. "But how did the sonogram go?"  
  
His curiosity was heart-warming. "Well…" she began. "They say that we're having a baby panda bear."  
  
"Donna."  
  
"You do remember that it's the one that eats the bamboo and not the one that eats the koala leaves in the koala trees."  
  
"Yes," he impatiently grumbled.  
  
"Because those were creatively named koala bears."  
  
"Donna," he whined.  
  
"The baby is fine," she contentedly sighed. "They say that everything is functioning perfectly. It's the right size and generates the right amount of movement. And it has a very strong heartbeat." She paused to remember if she told everything. "Oh. And they were able to point out all of the fingers and toes and even little eyes on the monitor."  
  
"You were able to see footage?" His sadness was complete.  
  
Her heart went out to his pain-filled expression. That was until she remembered what else she had brought home from Dr. Young's office.  
  
"Josh, go look on the kitchen table."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
She was beaming now. "Just go look."  
  
He hopped up and went over to the table. "All I see is your purse, the photos, an unlabeled tape and a half-eaten bag of FunYuns." He paused. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"The tape, Joshua."  
  
"Is it porn?"  
  
"No."  
  
"'Cause it could be cheap porn that you dubbed off TV."  
  
"No!"  
  
"And in that case, we could maybe still make the most out of a bad day."  
  
"It's the sonogram video."  
  
He paused. "So…can I take back all the porn comments?"  
  
"I insist."  
  
So he walked over and put the video in the VCR before going over to sit next to his child's mother. "You didn't find out if it's a boy or girl yet, did you?"  
  
"Nope," she said eyes glued to the screen as the baby's image popped up.  
  
Both stared mesmerized for several seconds until Josh reached over and grabbed the remote. He turned the volume up nearly as high as it went and filled the room with the pulsations of the baby's heartbeat.  
  
Donna looked over a couple minutes later, to see Josh wipe a tear from his eyes. She leaned over and took his hand while planting a kiss on his check. "I know." They looked at one another before simultaneously turning back to the screen.  
  
After the video was done, it was instantaneously rewound for another viewing. This time, Josh and Donna placed their interwoven hands on her stomach to see if they could feel the baby move.  
  
Josh was still intensely staring at the television screen. "Is that a little penis?"  
  
Donna tuned her head slightly to the right before switching directions and skewing dramatically to the left. "I think that's the umbilical cord."  
  
"I kinda think that might be his package."  
  
"That could be the cord and there could be no package."

"I really think that's a penis."  
  
"I really think that there is every chance that it's some amnionic goo."  
  
Still holding her hand, Josh got up from the couch and headed closer to the television. "But look, he's about to turn in a second and I think that it looks distinctively male-shaped."  
  
Going along with him, she went up to the screen and followed suit when he went down on his knees right in front of the screen.  
  
"See!" He said squeezing her hand as the other went up to tap where he believed the male parts were being shown.  
  
Donna giggled. "I…well…maybe."  
  
"Look!" Josh argued when the baby squirmed a little more.  
  
"I think it is!"  
  
"Our baby has a penis!" Josh said giddily, turning about from the screen to concentrate the whole of his gaze on her.  
  
Happily she shrieked. "We're having a boy!"  
  
"We're having a boy!"  
  
"We're having a boy!"  
  
"We're having a boy," he said much more quietly and with an air of lustfulness.  
  
"We are," she smiled back.  
  
And that was that. Seconds later, their mouths met for a soft, sensual kiss. Slowly they melted together as their lips and tongues explored one another. It was not just a kiss of lust, but a kiss of love, and both knew it as they continued on with one another.  
  
As time pressed on, passion took control and a more feverish intensity was pursued. Idle hands began to roam one another's bodies in need to satisfy the other as well as prove that it was all real. Donna rubbed her fingers up and down his arms before gripping his biceps in means to anchor herself. Josh in kind, wrapped arms around her waist and pulled her as tight to him as physics and their position would allow.  
  
Minutes later and breathless, Donna pulled away and dropped her head to his shoulder. "Josh?"  
  
"I'm sorry?" He gasped the words with no conviction.  
  
"No," she smiled into the crook of his neck. "I…"  
  
"Please don't say-"  
  
"I have to get up, Josh. This is killing my knees."  
  
That was when he fully realized that they were still on the floor in front of the television screen. "Yeah," he agreed, jumping up and extending a hand to her. "That can be said."  
  
Her kiss-swollen lips turned up in a smile. "At first I thought that you simply made me weak in the knees. Then I realized that my knees were about to go out." She accepted his help as she hobbled to the sofa once again. "I guess we both should have thought about the fact that neither one of us aren't too young anymore." She noted his nod before rambling on. "And some of us are older than others." His nod stopped. "But really, that's not good on the knees. Especially with the added pregnancy weight. I wonder how much added weight I've gained. Believe it or not, I was never one to really weigh myself."

"Donna?"

"And now! Why would I want to weigh myself? I feel fat already and I have months to go."

"Donna." He was grinning at her nervousness.

"I know. How vain of me to think about myself in such a way when I am carrying a beautiful life inside me. But when you know that it's the last time you'll see your feet for months, you begin to think about being fat. But it's okay. I have no plans for dieting or anything."

"Donna."

She was fidgeting in her apprehension. The kiss had shaken her to her core and she didn't want to think about the fact that Josh may not feel the same. "But I am doing these really good exercise videos that I bought. They are specially designed for pregnant women. And they have some really good songs too. Do you like the Ramones?"

"Screw it," Josh muttered as he gave in to temptation and leaned over to kiss Donna again and effectively shut her up.

This kiss went longer than the other, but remained more soft and romantic. In the course of the kissing, both arranged themselves to lying down next to one another on the couch. That way they were comfortable for the following hour they spent kissing and cuddling.

"Josh?" A sleepy Donna muttered into his chest.

"Yeah," he gently responded.

"You wanna maybe check out what's going on in the news?"

"Sleepy?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay," he said stretching under the weight of his pregnant Donna for the remote on the coffee table. He then flipped the set on where news coverage was already in progress.

Both were asleep with minutes. And they slept better than they ever had in their lives.


	29. Chapter Twenty Eight

A/N: OMG! It just took me forever and a half to get this chapter out! My sincerest condolences to anyone who is still trying to follow this story. I really do feel bad for taking so long.

And thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. Especially those who have written me. I really do appreciate the emails I have gotten. You kept me from taking even _longer._

But the semester is almost over. I have finals week coming up and then Christmas! YAY! I hope to get the story finished by the end on the year, but who knows.

Thank you, Holly! You are the bestest friend in the world and I love you for it.

Speaking of Holly, she set me up today a new LiveJournal account. I would love to hear from everyone and my name is TheRealMcCoy1. I should be keeping updates on my ATTP progress. Come by so I can check you out too!

I know that my author's note is almost as long as the chapter so I will shut up and let you read. This chapter is dedicated to Holly since her birthday is just hours away and to all of those who suffered a tragic loss on November 3rd. Never give up!

Happy Birthday, Holly!!

****

Chapter Twenty-eight

"It's a girl."

It was several blinks later before Josh spoke. "Huh?"

"It's a girl," Dr. Young repeated.

"But it has a penis," Josh said without thought.

"Josh," Donna said reaching off of the examining table to thwap him on the shoulder.

"It's fine, Donna," the doctor said with a smile. "And I'll be honest, I thought that it was a boy as well according to the prior sonograms, but looking at this today I really have to say that you are having a girl."

Josh was prepared to barter. "But what about the little…male parts?"

"Well Josh, I think that they might have been parts of the fetal sack that conjugated in a place that resembled…male parts."

"A girl?" Donna was glowing.

"A girl?" Josh said showing a twinge of disappointment.

"Yes," Dr. Young replied to both of them. Then she turned her attentions to the father. "And don't worry. I know that it sounds intimidating parenting a child of the opposite gender, but fathers often find that they have very close bonds with their daughters."

"See, you'll have a 'daddy's girl'," Donna smirked. "I lost the 'momma's boy'."

"A girl?" Josh asked with more optimism.

"So, I'm okay?" Donna asked once more.

"Trust me, I saw no complications when I examined you last week and I see none today. I would say that the cause for your discomfort is actually a mild case of indigestion."

"Just indigestion?" Donna questioned.

"It's relatively common during pregnancy."

Josh had more important things on his mind for the second. "A girl?"

* * *

"Lamaze?" Josh whined as he momentarily turned from unlocking the front door to wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Dr. Young said that we should have started sooner, but we can make up for lost time in a few extra classes."

"Lamaze?" He whined once again as he opened the door and escorted her inside.

"If you don't want to I can find someone else to go with me."

"I just don't know if I have the time."

She glared at him. "I'll just ask someone else, Josh. Maybe Toby can help me out since he made the time for Andi and his children. Or Leo. Oh, I know! I bet the President went to the classes with-"

"Let Jenna know the class times and I'll be there," he sulked as he walked her to the sofa. "Are you sure that you don't want some lunch before I go back to work?"

"Nah. I just want to wash the rest of the jelly off of my belly." She snickered at the rhyme before realizing that he was staring at her confusedly. "And take a nap."

"'Kay." He looked around her apartment to see if there was anything that he could possibly do. "Then in that case…I guess I'll head back."

"Do you want to come over for dinner? Dawn will be home at a reasonable hour and I think Sam was coming over."

"Maybe," he said getting an odd tenor to his voice. "I'll call you later and let you know."

"Okay," she muttered as he turned and headed out the door.

* * *

Josh felt that he was justified for his nervousness. They had shared that one night of romance what felt like weeks ago and had not spoken of it since.

Though that is not to say that it had not gone unnoticed. It was obvious to him, and he knew to her as well, that they were closer than ever been before and that she was quick to grab his hand whenever he took her out to look at baby furniture.

If he was fully honest with himself, they were a couple in every sense but the word.

He just didn't want to be honest.

And he didn't want the pressure of what looked in many ways to be a double date with his other best friend. Josh inwardly groaned as reason consumed him and he realized that it really wasn't the case. Donna was merely inviting him to the evening meal and he had jumped to crazy conclusions.

More than likely because they were overdue on a conversation.

* * *

Donna sighed as hung up the receiver. After all the apparent stress the invitation caused Josh, Dawn called to say that Sam was working late and therefore she was just going to bring him some pizza.

"Go figure," she mumbled. This dinner was supposed to serve as a distraction from her current Josh confusion.

She knew that they hadn't talked about the kissing and the commitment that they seemed to silently vow for one another, but she felt that it was understood by both parties. Though at times, like this one, she wasn't sure.

She had decided what seemed years ago that she loved him. That wasn't the issue. And there wasn't even really an issue in her mind that he didn't care for her as well to some degree. Anyone could see it in his eyes.

Though deep down she was afraid. Not afraid that he wouldn't be there for her or care for her. Not afraid that his intentions weren't good in every sense of the word. She was afraid that it wasn't really her that he was kissing.

Though in the literal sense, she knew it was her that he kissed. She simply didn't know if the kisses were the result of his affection toward Donna Moss or if they stemmed from the affection to the baby she carried. If they weren't just his way of reassuring stability to the baby and therefore her as well.

She knew she was hormonal and very pregnant, but she thought that they were legitimate concerns. Concerns that needed to be addressed.

Though she was afraid of what she might discover.

* * *

"Lamaze?" CJ smirked. "Can I bring my camera?"

"No," the Deputy Chief of Staff snipped.

"You didn't make this big of deal when I took Andi," Toby pointed out as he munched on another M&M.

"No," the redhead reasoned. "But that was mainly because you aren't Josh. Lamaze signifies that you are planning on being in the delivery room for the birth as a means of support to the mother. Josh gets woozy at the sight of the flu vaccines."

"It was just because I hadn't eaten that day."

"Josh, you passed out when I cut my finger last year."

"I was sick! The doctor said I had pneumonia."

"Dr. Bartlet said that you had a cold," the Communication Director chuckled. "Maybe."

"It was a really nasty cut. You had to go to the hospital."

"I got two stitches."

"See!"

"Josh," CJ said softly. "There is going to be quite a bit more blood than my cut finger. Hell, you'll probably see more blood at the Lamaze class than my finger."

"Huh?" Josh was already paling.

"They sometimes show those videos of the woman giving birth," Toby elaborated. But as he saw his friend go still, he hastily added, "But not always. Depends on the class."

"Oh." Josh leaned back in his chair.

"So it's when?" CJ smirked.

"Donna was going to call and get it scheduled," the sickened man said absently.

"Can I bring a camera?"

"No."

"Is Josh available?"

"Just a minute Donna. He just got out of a meeting with CJ and Toby."

Seconds later, Donna heard the familiar voice hit the line. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," she had to smile. "But what about you?"

"Yeah," he said with the high pitched note of false conviction.

"Josh."

"CJ and Toby were just talking to me about Lamaze class."

"Really? Well, I just called and got us scheduled for a class tomorrow evening. You can talk to Jenna, but I'm pretty sure that you'll be free since the vote is already in the bag and will be over by then." Then she understood. "You're already backing out," Donna sighed as she sunk deeper into her chair.

"I didn't say that," he said in defense.

"It's fine," she assured as her eyes began to fill with tears. "I was calling to tell you that if you were considering dinner tonight, which I know you weren't, it's cancelled. Sam is working late and Dawn is bringing him food."

"Donna." It was apparent that she was getting upset.

"It's fine, Josh." Emotion was seeping out of her voice and she resented every second. "I'll get someone else. Hey, Dawn has helped Kelly out with both of her kids. But have a good night."

"Donna," he began, but the line was already dead. "Dammit," he groaned as he put the phone on the hook and his head upon the desk. With a deep breath he raised up to look at his watch.

"It's 7:05?"

"Yeah."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm not making it up."

"My watch says ten to seven."

"That's 'cause your watch sucks."

"My watch is fine."

"Your watch says ten to seven."

"How do I know it isn't ten to seven?"

"Because those large clocks on the wall that are run by the US Navy say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones."

"That's it," Josh declared as he hopped out of his chair and grabbed his backpack. He didn't care what time it was. This was the moment of no turning back. This was the time for him to finally admit his love to the woman who had held his heart for so many years. He wasn't going to let her sit at home and cry over something as small as a Lamaze class when there were real issues to be dealt with.

He headed out the door and was halfway out of the bullpen. He wouldn't have stopped had it not been one of the two men in the country that outranked him. "Josh!"

He slowed to a stop, but refused to turn around. "This isn't happening."

"Josh," the Chief of Staff repeated as he neared.

"Leo," he whined as he finally turned to face his boss.

"We need to get on the phones."

Josh gave an incredulous stare. "No."

"Look, Whitman has turned it into a thing."

"I talked to Whitman this morning and he's voting with us. And I'm having my epiphany moment." With that he turned to head toward the parking lot.

"We just got off the phone with him and he says that he's switching votes unless we hear his amendment proposals. That means that he'd pull with him-"

"Why does God hate me?" the younger man asked the ceiling as he tossed his bag to the ground.

"Yeah," Leo muttered as Josh slowly faced him once again. "Let's fix this."

"Yeah."

"Your epiphany moment?" Leo questioned as he began to head back to his own office.

"It's nothing that hasn't been, you know, half a dozen years and a baby in the making."

"Okay."

"Is it because I'm Jewish?" he muttered to himself as he headed back to his desk. "Because I am supposed to be one of His Chosen people."

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Jenna asked as he walked by.

"Chosen for what, I am beginning to question."

"Huh?"

"Get me Whitman," he called as he slammed his door shut.

* * *

"You okay?" Dawn asked once again.

"Just indigestion," Donna replied with a sniffle and a nonchalant wipe of her tears.

"Yeah," her roommate concurred as she lovingly rubbed her back.

"I don't think I ask for too much," the blonde woman said suddenly. "I don't demand that he pay child support or that he even tell everyone that he's the father."

"I know."

"I don't tell him that he has to sign over rights or that he can't keep the baby for extended periods of time."

"That's nice."

"I am even planning on letting the baby have his last name unless he thinks that it might cause too much trouble."

"Isn't CJ planning on announcing it in a few weeks?"

"She is, unless they rule that it won't be good."

"But I thought that they said they were only waiting to distance the coverage of your leaving with the paternity issue."

"He could change his mind between now and then."

"He won't."

"I wasn't even going to force him to the Lamaze class. I just thought that he might want to go since he had talked on the way over there about how he was looking forward to all the little baby things."

"He's just nervous. And so are you."

"And I didn't force him to kiss me either."

Dawn paused. She knew that the two of them had acted a little different the past week or so, but she had no idea that their relationship had progressed that much. "Well, that's always good."

"And he doesn't have to pretend like he cares about me, when it's just the baby he wants. And he doesn't even have to care about the baby."

"You know he cares about the baby."

"I know," she sighed as she completely disregarded the nonchalant in her crying.

"And you know he cares about _you_ too."

Donna's response wasn't as fast. "I know he cares about me. We go way back and I know that we have always been friends even when we were coworkers."

"It's deeper than that."

"I know that we have a bond, aside from the baby. And I know he cares about me," she accredited. "I just don't think he _cares_ about me."

The brunette snickered. "He _cares_."

"I don't think he loves me like I love him." Donna quickly realized her words as her eyes went wide.

"It's about time," Dawn grinned.

A few quiet seconds passed before Donna spoke. "I have never admitted that to anyone. Not even my mom."

"Color me surprised."

"It's…" she began to cry once again. "It's hard…knowing that it will never work out."

"Well, you did choose the most difficult specimen of the male gender."

"Don't remind me," she chuckled as the tears continued to roll. "I'm so sorry," the blonde woman said as she began to attempt to dry her face in vain. "I'm blubbering here like an idiot when you have much better things to do than tend to me."

"It's just the indigestion," Dawn reminded.

* * *

Just as Dawn got Donna to eat some crackers and go to bed, she heard the knock on the door. Looking at her watch, confusion filled her. Just before midnight, if it was Sam coming by then she would be a wonderfully surprised gal, but if it was her family alerting her to the next end of the world she would be horrifically disappointed.

When she opened the door, she didn't know the exact emotion. Instead she responded with the first words that came to mind. "Evening, Indigestion."

Josh gave a quizzical look, but decided not to comment. "Are you guys still awake?"

"No," she said hiding all sarcasm. "I open doors in my sleep as well as carry on conversations."

He rolled his eyes. "Is Donna awake?"

"Also, I like to sleep completely dressed with the lights all on."

"You've been around too many wise-asses lately."

"You have no idea the wise-asses I've known."

"Yeah," he replied as he stepped in on her invitation.

"Look," Dawn said with complete sincerity. "She's pretty…dismayed tonight. I just got her to lay down and I really think it would be better if you just call or stop by tomorrow."

"Is it about me?"

"It's about a lot of things." She paused a moment. "But it's mostly you or things that came out of your body and entered hers."

Josh cringed at that. "Damn, Dawn."

As she shrugged a blonde woman appeared over her shoulder. "Josh?"

"Great," the brunette muttered as she threw her hands up in the air in surrender.

"Is everything okay?" Donna asked.

"Yeah," he quickly assured. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in bed."

Dawn turned her attention to Donna. "Are you going to be alright if I go in the other room?"

"Yeah," the other woman replied with a tired smile. "Go on and get some rest. Don't you have an exam tomorrow?"

She nodded and gave a brief look to Josh before turning to her friend once more. "You know where I am if you have any more indigestion problems in the night."

"Thanks."

An awkward silence filled the room as Josh and Donna were left to look at one another. Both stealthily avoided eye contact until a loud gurgle came from Donna's stomach. At the response of Josh's raised eyebrows, Donna shrugged and blushed. "The baby is deciding whether she liked dinner or not."

"I can come back later. I just wanted to apologize for upsetting you on the phone."

It hadn't even been five minutes and she was about to cry. She turned and faced away from him as she pretended to worry about the cleanliness of the kitchen. "It's fine, Josh. I really understand your apprehension."

"Really?" Josh wasn't considering backing out. Well, not too seriously. But it was nice to know that she understood what he was currently facing.

"No," she spat as she turned to face him. "I don't see why you get the chance to back out when I have to go through it all. Men always brag about how macho and tough they are and belittle women. But doesn't it seem that the _bravest _ones are the same jackasses that skip out on the delivery. Doesn't it seem that the strongest of men are the ones that bail out on the doctor's appointments and don't go to the baby's doctor when they have to get their shots." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye as her hands protectively rubbed her womb. "The tough guys belittle the woman, but then don't have the guts to stand beside her."

"Donna." The wounds she inflicted seeped from his eyes.

"And just so you know, Joshua Lyman, as weak and fragile as I may be, being a woman and all." Extra bitterness filled her last words. "I will _always _have the guts to stand beside you. Whether I want to or not."

"I was planning on going to Lamaze with you."

The words were enough to quiet her. In fact, they were enough for her to decide that she better stop making herself sick with stress and sit down. Even after she finally plopped in the nearest cushioned chair, silence filled the room.

"Well, that's good to know."

Josh smirked at her simple statement, but said nothing more. "I came here to talk about more than Lamaze classes, but I think that it better wait until later. It's getting late and it looks like we've both had pretty long days."

"Yeah," she sighed and made her way back to standing. "It would probably be best to talk about everything tomorrow."

He smiled at her. "Go on to sleep. I'll make sure that the door locks behind me."

Exhaustion hit her like a train. "Okay." She smiled before turning to head to her room. She would try to argue with him, but she just didn't have the strength to try and sate her curiosity.

Josh stood there watching her waddle toward the hallway. He watched move farther away from him and suddenly had the feeling that the distance was more than what met the eye. He felt that he was losing his one opportunity to express how he truly felt. His one opportunity to have the guts to stand beside her.

"I love you."

As the words hit her ears, she came to a complete stop. But it took several more seconds to fully comprehend what he had just said. Slowly she turned around and looked him straight in the eye. "Josh?"

He was shaking now. He had no idea that he was going to blurt it out so quickly. "I love you," he repeated as much for clarity as for the sake that hearing the words hit his own ears once more would give him confidence.

Tears instantaneously began to flow down her face. Disbelief as well as a feeling that it was all joke filled her conscience. "No you don't."

He looked at her in dismay. "Donna. Yes, I do."

She was shaking her head incessantly. "No you don't. No you don't. You don't love me. You love the baby. And I can accept that because I don't want you to love me just because of the baby."

"I don't love you because of the baby. I loved you even before the baby."

Time stopped. It seemed that heaven and earth had came crashing to a halt. It didn't matter that it was midnight and possibly the _worst _time in history for the confession that had been over half a decade in the making. The fact was that the truth was finally coming out.

She couldn't help it. "Are you drunk, Josh?" That seemed the only feasible explanation.

He grunted which was quickly followed by a classic whine. "Donna."

That was proof enough that it was true. Even in her dreams she didn't know if she could have perfected the perfect Josh reaction to a moment like this. "You love me." The tears she never stopped shedding regained momentum once more.

A smile spread across his face as he saw the look of amazement on her eyes. "Yeah. I do."

Emotion broke and she started to giggle. "You love me." She laughed outright in the midst of her crying.

Now Josh wasn't sure whether to be relieved or embarrassed by his confession. Her reaction was not what he expected. Though he had no idea what to expect when he imagined this moment in his mind. "Yeah."

"You don't love the baby," she giggled.

"I _do_ love the baby," he clarified. "I just loved you first."

"I just…you love me."

He couldn't help but grin. "I love you, Donnatella Moss."

"I bet I loved you first," she countered.

He was prepared for one epiphany tonight, but this was a whole different situation. "You…you love me?" he choked out seconds later.

She couldn't stop her laughter from bubbling through. "Well, duh. People have been calling me on it for years."

"They have?"

Her laughter ceased as she realized her statements. A crimson blush came to her already flush cheeks. After taking a couple of soothing breaths, she admitted. "Yeah. Even Amy called me on it."

"Me too," he confessed causing Donna's eyes to widen. "CJ says we've been fooling no one but ourselves."

"Really?" She knew that her sleuth skills weren't too sharp, but that's pathetic.

"She says that that's the real reason why she's not worried about when the press gets hold of the story. Because everyone saw it coming." He sighed. "Pretty pathetic, eh?"

"Just a little."

"At least we fooled ourselves." He looked at her face. "Or do you think that's what makes it worse?"

She nodded. "I really do."

A smirk overcame him as it all hit home. "You love me."

She took on a similar look. "And you love me." Her satisfaction increased as he came to stand just inches away from her face.

"For the record, I win."

She cocked a brow. "How's that? You got me?"

"No. I said it first."

She pondered the thought for a moment. "I win."

"You do _not_," Josh snapped.

"Since it took us over six years, I think that the object of the game was to see who could hold out longer. And that would clearly make _me_ the winner and _you, _Joshua Lyman, the loser. So ha!"

He stared in awe of her incredibly screwed up logic. "I love you."

She blushed. "I love you, too."

They leaned in close before both pulled back and looked at one another. "Wow," they commented in unison.

"It feels really weird saying that, but I can't stop," Josh admitted.

"It feels almost liberating," Donna agreed.

"I bet we could make a contest out of who's said it more times tonight. If we did, I would so kick you ass."

"Shut up," she muttered as she kissed him soundly on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck.

The kiss sealed their fate and neither one had anything to complain about.

"Josh?" she murmured as their mouths continued to explore one another.

"Hmm?" He continued to caress her with his lips and arms.

She pulled back slightly. "Josh, I'm hungry."


	30. Chapter TwentyNine

A/N: Look everyone! The final chapter is finally here. So sorry if you have lost interest in what has happened or just have became to annoyed at me to care to go on.

Though I should clarify that I will be adding a short epilogue to the end in the next couple of days. A little "update" so to speak.

But yes….I _just_ finished editing this!

Thank you to everyone that has reviewed this throughout the process. Your kind words have kept me going. There has been so many of you that have emailed and reviewed me from the beginning. Thank you!

And the biggest thank you ever to Holly. Holly, we both know that none of this would have happened without you. I truly believed that this has helped build our friendship even more now that I can more clearly understand your obsession with fanfiction. Thank you for being the bestest friend in the world!

On that note…I shut up and give you _At Toast to Pandora!_

**Chapter Twenty-nine**

"I talked to the White House this morning. I mean, you can't talk to a building, but I talked to some people in the White House this morning."

"Josh?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sighing into the phone as he sunk deeper into his desk chair. "I think I may pigeon hole this version."

"Because you know that you should probably talk to more that just 'some' of the people in the White House."

"Donna."

"I know. Sorry." She couldn't help smiling though. Then she paused. "Why are _you_ giving the statement this afternoon instead of CJ?"

"Well, CJ is preoccupied with another and more important statement breaking this afternoon and they figure that it may look good, if I don't screw it up, to have me in the public light today a little." He stood up and began to pace the confines of his office. "And it's not like I will do that bad, anyways."

"Yeah," she said trying to hide her hesitance as much as possible. "What is CJ announcing today?"

He was silent for a moment before clearing his throat. Then her eyes went wide. "She's announcing _us_ today, isn't she?"

"Well, Donna, the baby is due in two weeks now. I think we kept the lid on about as long as we can."

"Were you going to _tell_ me this anytime before the briefing?"

"Yes," he defended. "I…I just. It's all going to become officially permanent today."

"You say that like you weren't really the father yesterday."

"You know what I mean."

Though she could, she didn't have the heart to find more flaws in his logic. "When do you have to give the announcement on the commission?"

"Eleven. And I'm not doing any questions. Just the statement and getting out of there."

"Good," she said with relief. "And eleven gives you just enough time to go and get someone else to write it for you."

"You don't think that I'm capable of writing a two paragraph statement talking about a commission that the White House is sponsoring?"

"Well…"

"A commission that I am the unspoken founder and leader of that will try to again bridge the gaps between the executive and legislative branches of government?" After a moment of silence he prodded on. "Well?"

"Not really."

His ego deflated instantaneously. "Why?"

"It's been discussed before, but you hold great hostility toward 1) Congress, and 2) the White House press corps."

"So?"

"That leaves a lot of room for you to get arrogant and cocky and therefore…you tend to get a little mouthy."

It took several tense moments before he muttered, "I'll go talk to Toby."

"Okay."

He decided that it was best to change the subject as he tossed all of his statement drafts in the trashcan. "So what are you going to do today?"

"Exercise."

"Donna! They told you to take it easy."

"Just a little of my workout videos. I can't do much of it." She grumbled. "I can't even _see_ my toes, let alone _touch_ them. My back has been killing me all day and I think that a little movement might make it better."

"Donna, Dr. Young told you that you could go into labor at any time. So you really shouldn't do that kind of stuff unless you have someone there with you."

"Don't worry. And besides, the Moss women are not known for early deliveries."

"Well the Lyman children are known for being spontaneous."

"Imagine that." She smiled. "Now go. You have work to do."

"And you need to get your grove on?" he offered.

"Yes," she laughed. Then a deep breath. "I love you."

Though it had been weeks, it still got to him. His cheeks flushed slightly. "I love you too, Donnatella."

* * *

Donna wasn't as eager to get up and move as she let on. In fact, she had had stomach cramps all morning, but it wasn't enough to slow down her restlessness.

She tried to sit and watch a little television and paced as her man took the podium and performed a perfect recitation of Toby's speech. In the end, she decided that she had to do something more and popped in her exercise video designed for expecting women.

She took her place in the middle of the room as Billy Idol's voice filled the room. She tried to run in place to the rhythm, but was settling on her own fast paced waddle as the chorus came to play.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she recited as she pumped her fists to the beat.

Her singing was too loud to hear the knock at the door as the voice that followed as her guest let themselves in. It didn't matter though as he stood back and watched in amusement. Donna wouldn't even have noticed had the dance move call for her to spin in place. As she whipped around she caught sight of Sam standing with his arms folded and an amused smile upon his face.

Shocked and embarrassed she let out a small shriek as she covered her mouth.

"Hi," he said unabashedly.

"Hi," she said as she began to catch her breath. "I'm just working out."

His smile weakened. "I thought that you were supposed to be taking it easy these last few days."

"No triathlons," she said with a shrug. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Someone mentioned your possible disobedience with doctor's orders when they called to ask if I could write a statement for him this morning."

"He did well."

"I really think he's more worried about this afternoon than anything."

"Do you know when she's planning on announcing it?"

He shrugged. "I would assume that it would be right around closing time. No offense, but it might be tossed out with the trash."

"Figures. I just haven't wanted to prod. I'll let the White House cover it how it will."

"Are you okay with it?"

She nodded as she cradled her stomach. "It all seems so unreal. I can still remember when my biggest problems were buying shower gifts for my sister. Now, I'm getting shower gifts _from_ my sister. It's just…time changes so fast."

"I know." He looked down at the ground for a brief second. "I'm thinking about asking Dawn to move in with me when you and Josh move in together." Donna's blush did little to slow him. "You guys just take things at a different pace. You'll probably be married with two kids and living on different sides of the District."

"Shut up."

"Okay…the same side."

Donna was able to hide the cramp that passed through her abdomen. She was annoyed at herself for eating so much last night and then again for breakfast. She was beginning to wonder if that was also the cause for her back hurting so much more than usual. "I'm going to at least finish this tape. Are you in or out?"

Sam's eyes were as big as saucers. "You want me to work out with you to a…pregnancy video?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's isn't a stipulation that you be an expecting mother. The video is just approved for the limitations of being pregnant. Anyone can do it."

"I just…"

"It won't damage your manhood," she commented with a smirk.

"Okay."

* * *

"What's up?" CJ asked, glancing up from the latest memo.

"I was…Leo and the President are in a security briefing and…Would it be alright if I leave a little early so that I can be with Donna when the story breaks?"

The Press Secretary took a sympathetic note and set her work down. "I don't see why it would be a problem. It's Friday afternoon and we'd know where to find you if all hell breaks loose down on Capitol Hill."

"Yeah." He looked down at the floor. "I just wanted to see if it would seem appropriate."

"Actually, it would probably be better. You won't be here to haggle when it's all over. Just finish what you're doing now and get out of here." She smiled.

"Really?"

"Go and have a nice weekend with your future wife." He blushed though the redhead could think of a few more comments to make his cheeks redden. "Just think about turning the phone off and locking the doors for a while."

"All right," he smiled. "Thanks."

"Yeah." She couldn't help but be proud at this moment. She was about mere hours away from making the largest announcement in two of her closest friend's lives. One was like a brother to her while the other was an honored member of the "sisterhood." A girl couldn't be happier. "Now shut up and leave me alone. Some of us have actual work to do while you're off having three day weekends."

Josh laughed all the way down the hall.

* * *

"I feel like an idiot" became Sam's mantra all the way _Jesse's Girl _and well into _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun._

"Nobody's here but me," Donna said in attempts to ease his mind. She cheekily added, "And I already know the idiot you are."

"Great," he sarcastically retorted. And that was good enough for him.

They worked out in earnest after that moment. By workout, Sam worked out to the video while Donna stood there and pretended to go through the motions while laughing at how goofy Sam was looking.

"_An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_," Sam sang with Joan Jett as the song played.

Donna didn't comment as they continued on running in place.

"Pick it up, Donna. This was your idea," he panted as he glanced over.

"_Oh no, not me."_

"Donna," he chuckled.

"_Oh no, not me."_

The two of them were having too much fun to hear the door open. And even if they weren't having so much fun, Sam was singing too loud.

"_I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation. I've never been afraid of any deviation. An' I don't really care if ya think I'm strange. I ain't gonna change. An' I'm never gonna care  
'bout my bad reputation."_

"Well…you _are_ strange, Sam."

Both whipped around to see that Josh was now standing in the room with the biggest grin on his face.

"There is a perfectly good explanation for this," the other man calmly reasoned. He then turned sharply to his friend and whispered sharply. "Do you not know how to lock a door? We do live in the city with the highest crime rate in the nation."

Josh simply rattled the keys that were still in his palm.

"Oh."

The blonde woman simply rolled her eyes. "Why are you home-here?"

"Just thought I'd stop by and watch CSPAN with you this afternoon."

She began to smile before another cramp hit her. "Are you okay?" Josh asked noticing the minute change immediately.

"Fine." She blew off the irritation. "Ate tacos for breakfast again." She laughed at his face. "Sorry, Josh, but they sounded good."

He wrinkled his nose. "Right. So you tell me. Maybe if I lived in Mexico I would understand the consumption of tacos and enchiladas at seven in the morning."

"For the record," Sam interjected though he doubted neither was listening. "I don't think the people of Mexico, or any other Latin American country eat…Tex Mex food in the morning."

"Wanna work out?"

Sam was correct that neither one paid him any mind.

* * *

"Hey," Leo said sticking his head in CJ's office. "Have you seen Josh?"

"Actually, yes. He stopped by a little bit ago and asked if I thought it would be okay if he left early and went over to be with Donna. He wanted to be with her when the story hit the press."

"Oh," the older may replied with the slightest twinge of regret.

The redhead quickly tried to cover. "Well…you were in a meeting and he was just asking for advice. We both figured that with it being Friday afternoon and not much more work is going to get done when-"

"No," he assured before taking a pause. "I was just going to…did you say that he was going to be with Donna?" She nodded. "I'll just give him a call."

"Okay, though I told him to turn off his phone."

He gave her an incredulous stare. "Why?"

With a shrug, she reasoned, "Literally half of Washington has that cell number. After the conference, he's going to want it off for any number of reasons."

"Granted. I'll try her house." He then proceeded to go back to his office and have Margaret get them on the line. He was more than a little surprised when she came in to tell him that no one answered and that she could patch him through for a message if he liked.

"What's on my schedule in the next hour?"

His manically organized secretary didn't even bother to look at her notepad. "You have a meeting with the Agriculture Secretary and a conference call that NSC wanted you to listen in on concerning Pakistan, as well as the memos that you need to approve before the weekend so we can start planning meetings for Monday morning."

"Right. Call Tribbey and tell him that I'll meet up with him later. As for the NSC thing…" He paused to think if he even knew what the meeting was concerning. "If it's vital that I listen, have me paged back here."

"Where are you going?" Her unhappiness with the situation was apparent.

Leo simply chose to ignore it. "As for the memos, I will look over them and make sure they get approved before I go home tonight. Tomorrow morning at the very latest."

She didn't look very satisfied, but the situation was out of her control. "Okay," she quipped. "And where are you going?"

He smiled. "Just to give a happy couple a quick blessing."

"Are you a priest?" She said dryly.

"Nope. Just an Irish drunk going to give my personal congrats to a Jew and a Protestant on the child they created out of wedlock."

* * *

"How many more are you going to make us do?" Josh panted. "You aren't even exercising anymore, Donna. You're just standing there while Sam and I are _Dancing With Myself."_

"Though you are trying to be witty," Sam commented. "I have to point out how grammatically incorrect that statement is."

"We won't start on political correctness and appropriateness then," Josh teased.

Donna actually wanted to sit down, but didn't want either man to start coddling her with attention and questions. They had taken the briefest of breaks when she went to the bathroom, and she didn't want to tell them that she didn't feel better. In fact, she was feeling quite bad.

The sight of them dancing to a video that was being led by a pregnant aerobic instructor was too priceless to let go of at the same time. "One more song boys." Josh and Sam gave her a look, but complied with her wishes nevertheless. Neither one wanted the title that they couldn't outlast the pregnant woman.

Kenny Logins' greatest 80's hit played next and it seemed almost appropriate. "_Been working so hard," _all three sang_. "I'm punching my card. Eight hours_ _for work," _they all cracked up at that.

They gained control in time for Josh to sing, "_I'll hit the ceiling, or else I'll tear up this town."_

"Likely," Donna said with an eye roll before joining the guys in singing the chorus.

The exercise video was completely abandoned as the second verse played. Josh danced over to Donna as Sam seemed to take the sentiment of the last song and danced with himself.

The curly man serenaded the mother of his child. "_You're playing so cool. Obeying every rule, but way down in your heart you're burning yearning for some…somebody to tell you that life ain't passing you by." _The crazy gestures of bad dance moves, Donna wasn't sure, was too much for both of them as they broke into hysterics.

"This is too corny to describe," Donna muttered good-naturedly.

But as the chorus came on, the men meant cheesy business. In fact, it seemed that they were determined to try and replicate Kevin Bacon's moves from the movie. So, it was obvious that none would hear the events on the other side of the front door.

"What's going on in there?" Leo asked a similarly confused Dawn. He had recognized her downstairs as Sam's girlfriend and had to take a moment to remember that she was also Donna's roommate.

"A party?" She sighed. "Who knows? Maybe they're more happy than I thought about the announcement."

"Yeah. Sounds like they're pretty footloose if you ask me."

After sharing a smile, the brunette turned to unlock the door. When it swung open, both were surprised to see two middle-aged men dancing around as grade school boys. The scene was made complete with the sight of flopping neckties and Donna standing in the midst of the chaos staring at the ceiling with her hands bracing her back.

Dawn immediately snatched the television remote off the coffee table and hit mute in order to command attention. All heads turned around to see the bemused pair looking on. "Hi," the young woman smirked.

"Hi," the boys blushed in unison.

"This is what we pay Congress for now?" Leo said with a grin before turning to Josh. "Or the White House,for that matter."

"You didn't get the memo?" Sam said in jest. "Of course the House of Representatives would be slow about it."

"Look who they hire," Josh said, getting in on the action.

In the meantime, Donna made herself over to the nearest chair and gingerly sat down. Now the cramps were growing stronger than before. And though she was prone to exaggerate, this was feeling different than when she mistook indigestion for premature labor. In fact, nothing was feeling premature at the moment except the timing.

Closing her eyes, she hoped that she could will the pain to stop and for everything to go back to normal. But as she peeked at the room, she realized that it wasn't. The sharpest surge of pain yet went through her and the implications were enough to set the room spinning. "Josh?"

It wasn't the voice that drove the room to a halt, but the tone it carried. All eyes went to couch and the man in question was at her side in a minute. "Donna?"

"I don't feel right."

"Okay." Not Josh, not anyone knew what was wrong until they got her stand up.

"I think my water just broke," Donna whimpered as she gripped on to Josh and Sam for dear life.

"Oh God," Sam murmured as Dawn flew out of the room and into Donna's.

"What do we do?" Josh asked in a panic. "What do we _do_?"

"We need to get her to the hospital, Josh," Leo snapped. He tried to make it sound out of annoyance instead of his true feeling of fear.

"Here," Dawn commanded of her boyfriend, thrusting an open address book into his hands. "Call Dr. Young and let her know that Donna's water broke." She turned to Josh. "Start getting her downstairs."

"My car is four blocks away!"

Logic finally hit the older man. He would bother with being embarrassed that it took so long at another time. "I have my car right outside. I wasn't planning on staying long." He brushed past Sam and took Donna's hand. "My driver is down there and he can get you to the hospital."

As Donna nodded her gratitude, Josh shrieked once again. "What about me? My car is four blocks away!"

"You too." Leo cast his deputy a looked of annoyed contempt. "You're the father, Josh. Get it together!"

Reality came crashing in to the curl haired man. "I'm going to be a father."

"Don't tell me you're _just_ realizing," Donna hissed as another wave of discomfort hit. She figured they would start in more frequently from stress alone.

"It's just…I can't be a dad!" He looked at Leo briefly before meeting Donna's gaze. "_I _still _need_ a dad."

She rolled her eyes and looked to Leo. "_Dad_, can you help me downstairs?"

"Dr. Young is on her way!" Sam said hanging up the phone and missing the previous moments of conversation. He placed a hand on Josh's back. "Are you ready, Dad?"

"Get me to the car!" Donna barked.

* * *

"Oh God," Donna muttered. As relieved as she was to be having the baby, she was worried that it was too soon. Literally and metaphorically, she didn't know if she was ready to be a mother.

"Are you okay?" Leo said whirling around to look at the couple in the backseat. "Just hold on," he said more to Donna than Josh, but kept both in mind. "We'll be at GW in no time."

"I can't do this!" she cried.

"Yes you can," Josh said tuning into the soothing powers of Leo. "It's been a practice for thousands of year."

"I don't know if I can be a mother."

The whole car knew how absurd that was. Hell, she had practically mothered Josh since the moment they met and half the White House from the day the administration moved in. "You'll be fine," Leo reasoned with a warm smile.

"But what if…?" She didn't know. Donna just didn't feel that she was ready to become a mother yet. She and Josh talked about it all the time and though he always told her that she would be more than fine, she just didn't know. "We don't have a name yet."

"For a girl?" Leo asked, stating the obvious.

Josh stepped in to take a little of the stress off of his love to make conversation. He knew that the next few hours would be stressful enough. "Yeah, I think it took us all of ten minutes to decide on what to name a boy, but a girl has been giving us more trouble."

"Abigail is going to be the middle," Donna panted as another wave of contractions hit. She figured that it was the combination of irony and fate that would make the contractions with Josh Lyman's child start immediately after the water broke. "Or Claudia."

"Ahh," Leo beamed. "A symbolic name. We did that with Mal. Mallory was the name of Jenny's mother. And I believe that the President had each of his daughters named after an influential person in history. Elizabeth was after……"

Neither one listened as he gave the history of daughter naming. Both were currently a little too concerned with bringing their own into the world. The name would come second.

* * *

Josh wandered the GW emergency room in blind panic. Leo was sitting with Donna as she waited in the complimentary wheelchair while Sam and Dawn sat close by and tried to comfort the mother-to-be.

And meanwhile the father was going completely out of his mind.

He hated hospitals. Not that anybody liked hospitals, but Josh couldn't stand them. Death was too much a part of his life. Death and pain. And he saw hospitals as the focal point of death and pain.

Memories were a hard thing for him to let go of. His therapists told him that before and after Rosslyn. They told him that he had a problem of holding on to the darkest parts of his past. That and he had a penchant for finding symbols to embody his pain. Music brought back the sirens at the shooting and for years the smell of popcorn would make him burn all over. And the scent of the generic antiseptic that hospitals get on discount always tied it all together. Perpetually torn between throwing up and crawling in a ball on the floor and crying.

And right now he wanted to do both. Right now he was blaming himself for all of the agony that Donna was going through. All because he was a bad lover one drunken night.

"Josh," Donna murmured as she watched him pace the room one more time. She knew what he was doing. She knew that he was blaming himself for her pain without thinking about the wonderful life about to be born. And also killing himself for not being able to 'fix the problem' the way that he always strived to. "Josh."

It took a few moments for it to register to his brain that his name had been called. He turned to Donna and saw her expectant face. "Huh?"

She motioned him over. "Come here and sit down. They said that they are a little backed up this afternoon from the scheduled cesareans."

"I know."

"Dr. Young said that she was on her way." Donna was just counting her blessings on the fact that the contractions were staying constant, even though the pain was increasing.

"Yeah." He sat where Leo gestured as he got up to call the White House. Josh had to say that he was surprised and very much in awe that Leo was still here. He had expected for him to drop them off at the hospital, but he had been sitting with them for the past forty minutes.

"It will be okay," she said taking his hand.

He had to smile at that. "Isn't that my line?"

"Well," she smirked. "You seem to have turned into the pregnant woman."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. At this point I'm so hormonal that I'm shifting all over the place. In a few minutes I may be Sam, so be prepared."

"I love you," he said as tears threatened to break through. He just wanted her to know that above all else.

"I love you, too." She kept hold of his hand for the next few minutes till her next contraction came and went. She knew she was blessed when Josh didn't whine a single moment on the death grip she was using.

"Donna?" All eyes looked up to see Dr. Young standing across the waiting room. "Donna Moss, I believe we have an appointment for…" Smiling at her physician's wit, she glanced at her wristwatch. "Right now."

* * *

"Well," Dr. Young said shortly after performing her first examination on Donna of the day. "You are definitely in labor."

"Ugh," Donna grunted in response.

"But you aren't dilated enough to begin the full delivery procedure. We generally say that you're ready to deliver when you get dilated to ten. Though the baby has dropped in the birth canal, you aren't fully ready to start pushing."

"How much longer?" Josh asked as he played with the provided scrubs.

"It's hard to say," Dr. Young admitted. "But I am going to go and come back and check things out in the next fifteen to twenty minutes."

"Is everything else okay?" Donna asked.

"Yes," she said with a smile. "I know we talked briefly about the possibility of cesarean and other alternative delivery methods, but now it does not seem that it will be an issue. This should be a normal and healthy delivery." The room could take a moment to sigh in relief on that regard. "Any other questions?"

"No." A pause. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She then turned toward Josh, who was rocking back and forth on his heels like a little boy. "Both of you." Then she headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?' Josh questioned.

"I never had a chance to eat lunch," she passively commented as she walked out the door.

"Are we paying for that?" Josh asked after a second.

Donna shrugged. "Maybe. But I would rather she got it over with now instead of thinking of it as she calls out 'push'."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Both sensed the awkwardness that filled the room. After a few moments, Donna spoke. "Is Leo still here?"

"Nah," he brushed off, although he had no idea if he had left yet or not. "He has a country to run, you know."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Josh"

"I'm scared," he blurted out. After judging her face, he decided clarification was needed. "I'm scared, Donna. I'm scared that something is gong to happen."

"Josh," she said cutting in. "It's going to be fine."

"Something is going to happen to the baby. To you. Maybe not now, not today. I'm afraid that something will happen five years down the road. Something will take my baby away." He looked her dead in the eye. "That something will take you away."

Her intake of breath was not only shock of his honesty, but the latest contraction. "Josh," she whimpered extending her arm to call him to her.

He immediately took her hand and held it as the pain passed. "She better be coming back from lunch soon."

She then smiled meekly. "Josh, I'm scared too."

"I don't want to lose you." His eyes were slowly filling with tears.

"You won't," she said bringing her free hand up to caress his cheek. "You won't lose me."

"I can't lose you, Donna. I can't do anything without you." Pain or not, she had to laugh at that. "I can't even find my shoes without you." He could have defended himself with the point that it was only twice, but it would do no good. They both knew the truth. "And even if I could do anything without you, I wouldn't want to."

Bad timing prevailed again as Dr. Young made her way back into the room. "Is everything okay?" She asked noticing the tension. "Your monitors are reporting things as progressing well, but maybe I should give you two a few more moments."

"No." Donna didn't mean it to come out as rude as it did, but she felt as if the baby could fall out any second and she didn't want it to be when they were alone in the room. "It's getting to where I can't bear it anymore." She met Josh's eyes. "The baby. Not you."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, but Josh…I am in labor here."

He smirked. "I know."

Dr. Young's examination was brief. "Yup."

"'Yup' what?" he asked.

"The reason that she is in so much pain is because this baby is about ready to come out." She called for a nurse. "I thought that it might take a bit longer for her to get dilated to ten, but things are progressing perfectly. Especially first time mothers, usually spend long hours in labor before becoming fully dilated, but Donna is not far away from beginning to push."

"That's good?"

"Good," Donna huffed as another contraction hit. "Baby out now."

"I am going to get prepped up and I think that you will be ready to start delivering by the time I get back." Dr. Young left the room as the nurse made her way in to do more vital testing and the like.

"Donna?" The nerves came back as he saw that she was now in a constant state of pain.

"Huh?"

"Can I get you something?"

"A giant knife and a bottle of tequila," she spat causing the nurse to smile.

"D-Donna?"

"When wives are in pain they will say a lot of things. Just be here for her now," the nurse with the nametag Sandy assured him. "She'll need to talk her way through it."

"Yeah." Josh was still not sure everything was a fine as the people here said. Donna was hurt and everyone else was smiling.

"I'll be right back," Sandy said slipping out the door.

"Ugh," Donna groaned. "I just want this over."

"Donna, I love you."

She blinked. "I love you, too."

"I can't lose you."

She stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Okay."

"I won't."

"That's good." She wasn't sure whether he would sound more coherent if she wasn't in insurmountable pain, but she doubted it.

"Donna, it's taken me so long to find you, even when you were right there in front of me." He was getting extra jumpy as Sandy walked back in, but he knew that he had to say his peace. Because if the unthinkable happened and this was his final minutes with her, he needed to make it clear how much she meant to him. "It took me years to open my eyes to the fact that I love you."

"Josh." This _so_ wasn't the time.

"Donna, you're the only one for me."

A shriek of pain sounded through the room. Donna was pretty sure she had just dilated to ten.

* * *

"Leo, shouldn't you be getting back over to the White House?" Sam asked as the three sat in the waiting room. The nurse had kept them posted enough to know that Donna hadn't had the baby yet.

"Yeah," he said glancing at his watch. "CJ is going to hold off on the report for a little bit, but I need to get back." He paused. "I guess."

Sam smiled. Leo was always protective of his 'kids'-he just hadn't realized how much so. "We will call you as soon as we hear anything."

"Damn straight you will," he said standing up. A smile was on his face, but both knew how serious he was. He cast a final glance to the doors they had wheeled Donna down nearly an hour ago. "I'm going to head back."

"We'll call," Dawn assured.

"Yeah."

* * *

Josh stood numb as Donna shrieked once more. Suddenly his mind was overwhelmed by the thought that here his Donnatella lay in pain, and it was all his doing.

Dr. Young and a number of nurses came in from the hallway. "Okay," Young said as she immediately went to examine her patient once again. "Just breathe, Donna dear. It will all be over soon."

"Doctor?" Sandy asked.

"Yes, we are ready to deliver now."

"No," Donna groaned. "I'm going to die."

"Huh?" Josh snapped back to reality with those words. "You said everything was fine!"

"Josh," Dr. Young admonished. She was beginning to question what a woman would find attractive in this neurotic man. "She _is_ fine. She's just in pain. Childbirth does that to a girl." She then looked at the nurses. "Are all instruments prepared?"

"Not quite, doctor."

Dr. Young turned her focus now to Donna's face. "Okay. I don't want you to push till I tell you to, and I want you to stop when I ask." The blonde kept her jaw clamped to keep from crying out again, but nodded her consent. "Do the breathing exercises that you learned in Lamaze. Josh, help her with her breathing."

Another nurse spoke to him. "Try to focus her attention on other things aside the baby."

"'Kay," Josh said nodding. His assignment was given. He must distract Donna. With that, he wiggled between the nurses to stand by her bedside and take her hand. "You don't want me to start dancing to 80's songs again, do you?" She simply glared and shook her head. "Well…let's breathe how they instructed you to."

From there, they spent the next few minutes doing the infamous Lamaze breathing style. Donna took a second comfort in watching Josh pant like a woman in labor, but it was overshadowed by the pain and the commotion of nurses and doctors scrambling to get prepared to catch her baby. "Talk to me," she told him when she couldn't take the other voices anymore. "Please…talk Josh." She then went back to her breathing.

He looked up and down her hospitalized body. "I love you, Donna." That was all he could think to say for a second. Then he began to ramble. To tell the words that he had tried to speak earlier. "I love you so much that I know that I couldn't live without you if I tried. You mean everything to me and I want you to know that."

"I do," she murmured, clenching his hand harder as evidence.

He smiled. "Good." Then he sighed. "Because I'm not going to try. I want you in my life forever, Donna. I want you as my best friend, my soul-mate, mother of my children." Tears were springing to both of their eyes. In fact, they threatened the nurses who had stopped to listen to his overly distracting speech. "I want you as my wife, too."

"Huh?"

"Donna, I love you. And once the baby is born and you are feeling up to it, I want you to marry me."

"Josh!" She was seconds away from birthing her first child and he was proposing. She didn't know if she could take it.

"Donna, I know this isn't the best time, but no matter what happens, I want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side." He paused. "Will you marry me?"

"I'm so sorry," Dr. Young said interrupting. "But Donna needs to push now."

"Eh?" The couple asked in unison as they both remembered that they were far from alone.

"Donna. You need to push. I am going to count to three and then push as hard as you can." Donna nodded shakily as Josh gave a gentle squeeze to her hand. "Three-two-one. Push!"

The patient cried out in pain, but the obstetrician seemed pleased with the result. "Three-two-one. That's good, Donna." The room breathed out a sigh of relief.

Though in incomparable pain, Donna sought out Josh's eyes. She needed to tap into his soul for strength. She found it. His poker face conveyed everything: his fear, his concern, his displeasure. But at the same time, it also expressed his love, devotion, faith and confidence. Just when she lost faith in herself, he was there to give it back to her.

"Let's go again. Three-two-one. Push!"

Forever passed in those next seconds as the baby crowned.

"Three-two-one. Good. One more time and we'll be done with it. Okay?" Donna nodded. She wasn't sure exactly what would be done shortly: the baby's birth or her life. She also briefly paused to consider the fact that it could be any future chance of children because she never planned on having sex again. "One-two-three. Final push, Donna!"

Donna gritted her teeth and looked at her curly haired man one last time before shutting her eyes and bringing their baby into the world. "Yes, Josh!"

As the insecure man that he was, he wanted to confirm if that was the yes he had been wanting.

But it was too late.

By the time that he gathered the courage to ask for confirmation, his baby's cries filled the delivery room. Josh's were soon to follow.

* * *

"Great," CJ murmured as she turned once more to the press briefing room that she was currently late for appearance. "There is completely, absolutely, unconditionally, entirely no way to spin this."

Carol shrugged helplessly. "Maybe they'll just be pleased that it didn't take another six years."

CJ took a pause to glare at her assistant. She _really_ didn't want to go in there and bring Washington's wrath to Donna's hospital bed. Especially before she had a chance to slip over to the hospital to see the newest member of the White House staff. "Because Capital Hill, no Washington DC…no _America_ is going to like the idea that the Deputy Chief of Staff has been making babies with his senior assistant?"

"It hasn't interfered with their work," Carol suggested. "And she resigned so that there would be no workplace complications."

"When she was eight months pregnant. Sadly, even Josh had figured out he was the father by then." Carol had to crack a grin at that.

"Just go in there and announce that Josh and Donna have been involved in a relationship for a few months and that this said relationship resulted in a baby. She left her job before this relationship could interfere with anybody's work at the White House."

"And what? Oh yeah…she just had the baby. Please don't go to GW, even though the father is the most obnoxious and arrogant member of the staff that has persistently pissed off everyone from the Right Wing to the liberal base."

"I would leave out the liberal base part," Toby said from behind. "I just don't think that it would make a good sound bite. But you need to get out there. People are beginning to wonder."

"Yeah," CJ said as she walked toward the familiar door. Nobody heard her mutter about how she had decided that Josh _wasn't _the most obnoxious and arrogant member of the senior staff.

"CJ?" Katie asked as soon as the Press Secretary took her usual post.

"Wait a minute. I am going to give my briefing and then open the room up for a couple questions at the end. Because I know you'll want to ask them." From there, she began her usual download of the Friday trash. The unusual step occurred at her second to last story. "We will have that in the press packets that will be distributed on Monday. Also, we would like to make an announcement concerning our good friend Josh Lyman. As many may remember, a few weeks ago his senior assistant, Donna Moss, resigned from her position due to entering the final trimester of her pregnancy. We are proud to announce that she delivered a bouncing six pound nine ounce boy at 4:15 this afternoon."

"CJ, what does this mean about Josh?" Steve asked. "Is it in the fact that she may be returning soon?" This caused several in the press corps that had been close to the administration for a number of years to chuckle.

CJ paused for a second. "Uhh…no. Josh is concerned in the fact he is the father." There was dead silence except for the clicking of a few flashbulb cameras. "Josh and Donna are quite ecstatic about the baby's birth as well as their engagement to be married. They have not made a formal statement, but from my conversation with Josh just moments ago, he wants it clear that no date has been set, but it will be in the near future. They also are requesting that press and unruly members of Congress give them some privacy until they can get the baby home and settled in."

The air in the room was indescribable. Nobody, including CJ herself, knew what to say. "Also, the Marsters' family has been added to the list for the gala next week." She took one last breath before walking into her doom. "Questions?"

Then the most remarkable thing ever happened. The room broke into applause.Reporters both conservative and liberal, as well as several people that didn't even get along with the Deputy Chief of Staff had to pause to pay homage to the fact that two people that had been fighting love for so long had finally gave into temptation.

The moment was complete when CJ began to see money exchange hands. "Any questions people?"

Chris raised her hand. "CJ, are we going to get a comment from the White House on the Speaker's remarks regarding 431?"

"Monday."

Steve spoke up above the rest. "What are the President's thoughts concerning Japan's stock exchange?"

"I do not have an answer for that, but as an economist I can only imagine. Katie?"

"So Donna and the baby are doing well?"

CJ nodded. "Josh too, as far as I know." She took a brief look around the room and decided to cut her losses, though there were still several hands in the air. She was just grateful she was cut a break. "Have a good weekend and I don't want to see any of you before Monday morning."

"Is that a lid?" Trent called out.

The redhead smiled and nodded. "That's a full lid."


	31. Epilogue

A/N: Well this is it. Thank you to everyone who has supported this story along the way. And sorry if you were waiting for an elaborate epilogue. It really isn't. Due to some major sickness on my part, I haven't been around the computer as much as I would have liked. I hope you aren't too disappointed.

Side-note: Though Noah is commonly used in fanfics as the name of Josh and Donna's child, I wanted to use it anyway. I have thought about naming my own childe Noah, so I didn't feel like a sell-out.

Also, Aubrey, for those who probably forgot, is the name of the baby that so long ago kept Donna from having an abortion one day in a deli.

****

Epilogue

_Fifteen Years Later_

"He's going to be here."

"He's flying all the way out from California. It's okay. He's really not."

Donna folded her arms squarely across her chest after a brief detour to catch a fallen strand of his blonde hair. "He will too. Your father wouldn't miss this for the world. This is the most important thing to him right now."

Her son cocked a Lyman brow. "Except winning another Presidential election and the Mets winning the pennant."

"Even more than both."

"Yeah, right," a small voice squeaked from the stairs.

"Aubrey!" Her brother whined. "Shut up and get ready for _elementary school._"

The little girl shrugged as she made her way back up the stairs before making one last statement. "At least when I'm in my prime, you'll already be worrying about middle age." With that she scampered.

"She's only five years younger," Noah whined.

Donna shrugged. "I tried to make her less like your father, but some things are just unavoidable."

Then, as if on cue, there was a loud noise in the front yard. Both mother and son looked at one another before announcing. "He's here."

That he was. Josh was standing in the front yard still by the car door he had slammed shut moments before. "No! Are you out of your mind? I mean it, Sam! Have you fallen on _your head_? Don't move a muscle till I fly out there." He paused. "Except to go get me Teddy so I can kill him." He looked up to see his wife and son giving him questioning glares. His daughter quickly joined the crowd.

He pulled the phone away from his ear as his next victim was fetched. "Hey," he said sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm late."

"It's okay." His daughter shrugged. "I don't care if we ever make it to school."

"I bet," he replied. "Are you guys ready to go?"

"They need to eat some breakfast first." Both kids silently complained at that, knowing that Dad would always treat them to fast-food goodness.

Josh shrugged his agreement as he started toward the door. He put the phone to his ear to confirm whether Teddy had made it to the line yet. As predicted, he had not.

"How's Uncle Sam?" Noah asked before grimacing at the pun.

"The country is it's usual Hell of Republican executive control. That will change in less than a month. Your literal uncle is being a literal pain in my"

"Josh," Donna hissed. It always took him a few moments to remember that his children were still in fact children.

"Side," he said eyes wide. "Side, Donna." He feigned innocence. "What else would I say?"

The children were biting back their grins. It had been over a month and a half since they had seen their mother and father banter together. They knew that he slipped in some nights when he was coming to Washington, but they hadn't gotten to have much family interaction since the Democratic Convention.

"Sit down, guys, and eat your breakfast," Donna said turning her attention to the food.

"Geez," Josh said to himself. "What is taking this worthless piece of…" He smiled to his wife. "Campaign equipment, so long?"

"Can you just call Teddy back later?" Donna pleaded as her eyes briefly traveled to the children. "Some of us might like a little you time."

Josh began to nod, but was interrupted by Teddy's voice coming on the line. He held up a hand and gave a brief look of apology before running up the stairs to speak at will. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he yelled, though he was still in eyesight.

"Do you think that he knows how much his voice carries?" Aubrey asked.

"You aren't going to fuck up this campaign in the eleventh hour! I don't care how ballsy you think that speech is, you are not fucking going to do it!"

"No," Donna retorted dejectedly. "He really doesn't." She sighed as she began to collect the dishes off the table. "Grab your bags and go sit in the car. I'll send him out in a minute."

Josh came down just as the children were heading out the door. "Somebody's in trouble," his curly-hair daughter singsonged with a giggle before bouncing out the door.

"What?" he asked before looking to his son for help. Noah simply shrugged and walked on. Josh then decided to turn his attention to his lovely wife. "Donna!"

Her response was to walk the distance between them. Before he could make up an excuse for whatever he did, Donna pressed him against the wall and kissed him.

Seconds later, and quite breathless, Josh pulled away to look at her. "Trouble, huh?"

"Oh yeah," she murmured before kissing him again. "But we'll deal with it when you come back here after Noah's thing."

He continued with the impromptu make-out session. "I can't. I have a flight out of here at 10:30."

She shook her head as she pulled away and began to nibble on his neck. "Nope." Another tantalizing bite. "Hope you don't mind, but I had you rescheduled for 12:45. That way…" she kissed her way slowly up to his mouth once more. "You can just meet them in Denver."

"I love you," he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I know," she said kissing him as her hands began to explore more than his chest.

He moaned his pleasure as he forgot everything except the fact that he was holding the woman of his dreams in his arms. And that he was about to carry her up the stairs and have his way with her.

She kissed him one final time before pushing herself away. "Not now."

"Huh?"

"The kids? Remember them?"

"Right," he nodded as the previous knowledge that he had a life started to come back to him. With that he turned toward the door and took a couple calming breaths before appearing before his children.

"Wow," Noah said as his dad hopped in the car. All the boy saw was the flushed face and the contorted expression. "I guess Mom let you have it."

"Yes," Josh groaned. "Yes, she did."

"Sorry," Aubrey offered. "We should have pretended not to hear you on the phone."

"You heard me on the phone?" And here he thought that he had did a good job this time.

"Yeah…" Noah said casting him a suspicious glance.

Working in Washington forever and being the main guy on several national campaigns gave him what he thought was enough game to outsmart a fifteen year old child. Josh shrugged as they pulled out of the drive. "I just thought it was your mother's weird lurkiness once again."

Then again…maybe not.

But it didn't matter to Josh as he drove down the road with his children in his sights and his wife eagerly waiting him at home. His family was good. He was about to get his best friend elected President of the United States.

What else could he ask for?

"Dad," Noah said as fished around in his father's pocket for his cell phone. "Your phone is ringing."

"Thanks," he said before looking at the number. Taking a deep breath, he flipped it open. "Yeah Sam?"

"Forget it."

"Forget what?"

"It's all over. My campaign, my life and possibly my marriage. I know I told you that I liked redheads because they are fun and perky and have this creative streak that is just beyond adorable, but I change my mind. They're too unpredictable. And I think I possibly may be asked to secede from the Union and become a member of a remote country in sub-Saharan Africa."

"Yeah…"

"Unless Africa won't take me. They already have enough problems with AIDS and genocides and the Western world forgetting that people live there. This is bad on so many levels."

Josh glanced at his watch before taking his son's right wrist and verifying that he indeed still wore crappy watches. It was a quarter till eight in the morning.

Yup.

He had all he could ask for and more.

And was loving every minute of it.

****

The End

Endnote: Of course I would have to have one! (snicker)

This story is because of and for Holly. For years I have been your friend and watched you writing these works, but it wasn't until I wrote one on my own that I fully understood your world of fan fiction.

Thank you for always being there for me. I don't know what I would do without you!

I don't know when I will write again, but this will not be my last story! Thank you everyone for your patience throughout the past year!

Take care!


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